Sunbird she/her Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 5 hours ago, Jondesu said: What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. That's simultaneously awful and hilarious. XD Q: Why do Sam and Dean always beat the bad guy? A: Because they're the WIN-chester brothers, not the LOSE-chesters. 1
Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her Posted October 23, 2016 Author Posted October 23, 2016 Queen Elsa is a bit cold hearted. She likes to give people the cold shoulder
ThirdGen Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Doctor: If you crack one more pun in the next 24 hours, you'll die. Me: Okay, I can be patient. 2
Sunbird she/her Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 (edited) Oh, storms. I didn't make this one up, but it's too good not to share. Edited to add: if you don't get this pun, I pity your inadequate education in classic rock music and insist that you watch this video: Edited October 23, 2016 by Sunbird 8
Mistrunner Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 My friend's addicted to brake fluid. He can stop anytime. And my personal favorite: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? Because he was Haydn! 3
+Slowswift Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 50 minutes ago, Mistrunner said: My friend's addicted to brake fluid. He can stop anytime. And my personal favorite: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? Because he was Haydn! I'm rather partial to "What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAS!" myself.
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.-- Erasmus I just noticed this @Slowswift And I couldn't disagree more. Claustrophobic people are more productive when thinking outside of the box. 1
Voidus Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 What do you call a cold contracted from a small finned pinniped and volcanic dust? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsealicovolcaniconiosis. As you can tell I'm absolutely hillarious at parties. 8
marsoupial they/them Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 1 minute ago, Voidus said: What do you call a cold contracted from a small finned pinniped and volcanic dust? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsealicovolcaniconiosis. As you can tell I'm absolutely hillarious at parties. Voidus, it's 6:45 AM and I'm laughing so hard I think I just cried a little. It's time to stop. 1
DreamLord_Erith he/him Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Man these puns keep getting cornia and cornia 1
Silverblade5 he/him Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 7 minutes ago, DreamLord_Erith said: Man these puns keep getting cornia and cornia I know, they're so amaizing
DreamLord_Erith he/him Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 On 10/22/2016 at 3:08 AM, Dankness Ascendant said: At least this is the only Aqueous humour. 1
Eki Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Assuming everyone is average is a mean thing to do. 14
marsoupial they/them Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 7 minutes ago, Eki said: Assuming everyone is average is a mean thing to do. I got it! It took me a minute, but I got it!
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 17 hours ago, bleeder said: I got it! It took me a minute, but I got it! a minute? heh. My first job was working in an orange juice fatory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. 4
Elenion he/him Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 On 10/20/2016 at 9:13 PM, Nightbird said: A flock of migrating shorebirds landed in a field of marijuana to rest for a while. Before long, there was no tern left unstoned. I'm stealing this one next time I get into a pun war. I'm still laughing. 1
WayneSpren he/him Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 (edited) Today on fox news, we have a stupid person claiming that “stupid people are a hoax!” We tried to explain the irony to him, but he said he hasn’t killed any elephants since ‘99. Edited November 5, 2016 by WayneSpren 2
Sunbird she/her Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 Q: What do you call a pair of crows? A: Attempted murder. (I told this joke in one of my classes on Thursday and all I got was blank looks...) 10
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Nightbird said: Q: What do you call a pair of crows? A: Attempted murder. (I told this joke in one of my classes on Thursday and all I got was blank looks...) dw I get it, a murder of crows, yes, very funny.
Sunbird she/her Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Darkness Ascendant said: dw I get it, a murder of crows, yes, very funny. At least somebody gets it! XD Q: Why don't clams have any friends? A: Because they're all shellfish.
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 17 minutes ago, Nightbird said: Q: Why don't clams have any friends? A: Because they're all shellfish. That deserves to be in the Bad Jokes thread.
Voidus Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 Why did the man try to shove jam into an open door? Because someone told him it was ajar. 4
Sunbird she/her Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 26 minutes ago, Voidus said: Why did the man try to shove jam into an open door? Because someone told him it was ajar. Oh man, you just reminded me of this: 15
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