The Official Thread of Relationships

[marsoupial they/them]

Ok, so...

totally hypothetical situation here.

Say you're a freshman in high school. Just a dude trying to survive his first year, right? And you have a best friend, and she means a lot to you.

Now, say a junior comes in. And he likes you. And he's, you know, mildly attractive, and has a good personality, and all that. 

And he wants to go out with you. (In this totally hypothetical situation, the main character is bisexual)

And you think, Ok, sounds good, I'll give this guy a chance

But your best friend, like, thinks this guy is awesome, and wants you and other guy to date.

Would it be irrational to fear that best friend will replace you with other guy as her new best friend?

Hypothetically, of course.

Edited August 30, 2016 by bleeder

[Zathoth]

41 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Ok, so...

totally hypothetical situation here.

Say you're a freshman in high school. Just a dude trying to survive his first year, right? And you have a best friend, and she means a lot to you.

Now, say a junior comes in. And he likes you. And he's, you know, mildly attractive, and has a good personality, and all that. 

And he wants to go out with you. (In this totally hypothetical situation, the main character is bisexual)

And you think, Ok, sounds good, I'll give this guy a chance

But your best friend, like, thinks this guy is awesome, and wants you and other guy to date.

Would it be irrational to fear that best friend will replace you with other guy as her new best friend?

Hypothetically, of course.

Speaking hypothetically, friends are in general more permanent than dates, especially at that age. As long as this hypothetical person does not forget about his best friend there will probably be no harm in giving the cute guy a chance.

Of course this is speaking hypothetically about sensible human beings, which are the frictionless vacuums of relationship advice.

[marsoupial they/them]

5 minutes ago, Morzathoth said:

Speaking hypothetically, friends are in general more permanent than dates, especially at that age. As long as this hypothetical person does not forget about his best friend there will probably be no harm in giving the cute guy a chance.

Of course this is speaking hypothetically about sensible human beings, which are the frictionless vacuums of relationship advice.

Oh, sensible human beings. 

Haven't seen one of those in a while.

*nostalgic sigh*

But thanks for the advice.

Edited August 30, 2016 by bleeder

[skaa he/him]

7 hours ago, Erunion said:

@skaa glad to see things are working a bit better for you!!

 

With this new contact, go into it with zero expectations. Maybe she regrets rejecting you, maybe she's just being friendly, or maybe she wants to hire you! You say she has a startup, so that's entirely possible! 

Oh man, why hasn't that occurred to me at all? Stupid skaa! Well, I certainly would love to help her if I can. We'll see what happens.

[Briar King]

Just stay cool skaa and don't go in thinking this is your shot. Feel it out for a bit.

 

i always feel bad for people when they say they can't talk to girls/guys. You have it in you to get past it but it's far easier for some to tap into that power. My friends got to the point they took a stand to me and asked me not to talk to new girls cause I'd take all their attention before they had a chance. Lol!!! I complied cause it was very amusing to me to watch their game as it backfired on them. My silence and seeming disinterest would just entice them more so that they would stop engaging my boys and focus on me. Haha!

glad it's working Twi. Keep it up.

[skaa he/him]

1 hour ago, Briar King said:

i always feel bad for people when they say they can't talk to girls/guys. You have it in you to get past it but it's far easier for some to tap into that power. My friends got to the point they took a stand to me and asked me not to talk to new girls cause I'd take all their attention before they had a chance. Lol!!! I complied cause it was very amusing to me to watch their game as it backfired on them. My silence and seeming disinterest would just entice them more so that they would stop engaging my boys and focus on me. Haha!

To tell you the truth, I'm actually more comfortable in group conversations with pretty women if there's an extroverted guy there to keep the girls interested. In such cases, I just let the guy talk first and wait for him to say something that I could respond intelligently to. I would have no qualms being my natural opinionated self with the guy because I have no interest in him liking me. Even if a girl starts joining in, I'm usually too busy organizing my thoughts to be nervous at that point.

I've actually gained a few female friends this way, and I even dated one of them. Sadly, it didn't work out due to a lack of shared interests, but we're still close friends to this day.

Edited August 31, 2016 by skaa

[Mistrunner]

A GUY ASKED ME TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHAT DO I DO

WHY DID HE EVEN ASK ME I DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE

HELP

[marsoupial they/them]

1 minute ago, Mistrunner said:

A GUY ASKED ME TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHAT DO I DO

WHY DID HE EVEN ASK ME I DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE

HELP

There must be a reason.

Give 'im a chance.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

1 minute ago, Mistrunner said:

A GUY ASKED ME TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHAT DO I DO

WHY DID HE EVEN ASK ME I DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE

HELP

STEP 1: PANIC

STEP 2: SAY YES
EXCEPT IT DOESN'T COME OUT AS "YES"
INSTEAD IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE "I'VE BEEN PONDERING THE STATE OF JAPAN'S ECONOMY LATELY" 

STEP 3: HE WALKS AWAY

STEP 4: YOU WALK AWAY 

STEP 5: YOU GO TO HOMECOMING TOGETHER AS A SPY COUPLE WHO COMMUNICATE ONLY THROUGH BLUETOOTH FROM ACROSS THE ROOM

Or at least, that's how I'd do it.  

Congratulations, Mistrunner! Do you want to go with this guy? 

[marsoupial they/them]

Just now, Cognizantastic said:

Is he nice? Is he cute?

Is he both? 

If he's both, go for it and do not look back.

[Oversleep]

4 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

WHY DID HE EVEN ASK ME

Aaah, the ancient question of "why boys approach girls"

Remember the rule about wild animals? He's probably more scared than you are.

[Straw he/him]

Many guys have a thing for shy girls. He probably thinks you're cute and/or smart.

[Mistrunner]

50 minutes ago, Cognizantastic said:

Is he nice? Is he cute?

Is he both? 

He's very nice. He lets me talk to him for too long about random historical figures, at least.

49 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

STEP 1: PANIC

STEP 2: SAY YES
EXCEPT IT DOESN'T COME OUT AS "YES"
INSTEAD IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE "I'VE BEEN PONDERING THE STATE OF JAPAN'S ECONOMY LATELY" 

STEP 3: HE WALKS AWAY

STEP 4: YOU WALK AWAY 

STEP 5: YOU GO TO HOMECOMING TOGETHER AS A SPY COUPLE WHO COMMUNICATE ONLY THROUGH BLUETOOTH FROM ACROSS THE ROOM

Or at least, that's how I'd do it.  

Congratulations, Mistrunner! Do you want to go with this guy? 

STEP ONE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED

UNFORTUNATELY, STEP 2 TURNED OUT TO BE MORE TO THE EFFECT OF SCREAMING AND RUNNING AWAY

I WOULD BE OKAY WITH THE SPY THING THOUGH

I'm not really sure I want to go to the homecoming dance. I've had bad experiences with school dances, and I'm not going to date until I'm 16, but he's really nice and I don't want to be mean.  I don't know how to say no while still conveying that it's not because I don't like him.

It's certainly flattering to be asked, though.

47 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

Aaah, the ancient question of "why boys approach girls"

Remember the rule about wild animals? He's probably more scared than you are.

I still have no idea why. I'm a complete weirdo. I wore a spoon in my hair today, for heavens' sakes.

...Oh yeah, I wore a spoon in my hair today. Long story.

[marsoupial they/them]

1 minute ago, Mistrunner said:

He's very nice. He lets me talk to him for too long about random historical figures, at least.

STEP ONE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED

UNFORTUNATELY, STEP 2 TURNED OUT TO BE MORE TO THE EFFECT OF SCREAMING AND RUNNING AWAY

I WOULD BE OKAY WITH THE SPY THING THOUGH

I'm not really sure I want to go to the homecoming dance. I've had bad experiences with school dances, and I'm not going to date until I'm 16, but he's really nice and I don't want to be mean.  I don't know how to say no while still conveying that it's not because I don't like him.

It's certainly flattering to be asked, though.

I still have no idea why. I'm a complete weirdo. I wore a spoon in my hair today, for heavens' sakes.

...Oh yeah, I wore a spoon in my hair today. Long story.

At least you can be sure that you'll have better luck with this guy than I did with the last guy that liked me.

Hint: he was into sadomasochism, so I broke it off before it began.

Anyway, best of luck.

Edited September 2, 2016 by bleeder

[Mistrunner]

4 minutes ago, bleeder said:

At least you can be sure that you'll have better luck with this guy than I did with the last guy that liked me.

Hint: he was into sadomasochism, so I broke it off before it began.

Anyway, best of luck.

Oh my. 

And thanks.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Mistrunner

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

9 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

He's very nice. He lets me talk to him for too long about random historical figures, at least.

STEP ONE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED

UNFORTUNATELY, STEP 2 TURNED OUT TO BE MORE TO THE EFFECT OF SCREAMING AND RUNNING AWAY

I WOULD BE OKAY WITH THE SPY THING THOUGH

I'm not really sure I want to go to the homecoming dance. I've had bad experiences with school dances, and I'm not going to date until I'm 16, but he's really nice and I don't want to be mean.  I don't know how to say no while still conveying that it's not because I don't like him.

It's certainly flattering to be asked, though.

You can always tell him that. "I don't really like dances because [insert Emotionally Scarring Backstory], but I'd love to do something with you. Maybe we could do our own little McFormal, so we'd be able to dress up all fancy but wouldn't have to worry about the dance." 

[Straw he/him]

Try saying that you're flattered but you get nervous at big social events. 

Notes: He probably likes you because you are your own kind of person. You're one of the special kind of people who can do something different and weird in the right way. 

[Oversleep]

48 minutes ago, bleeder said:

At least you can be sure that you'll have better luck with this guy than I did with the last guy that liked me.

Hint: he was into sadomasochism, so I broke it off before it began.

Anyway, best of luck.

On one hand, I wanted to remind everyone that people who are into kinky stuff are still people. People who may have attraction toward non-common things, but it's not defining them or their lives (or at least it shouldn't). On the other hand, if you knew that fact before the start of relationship, then something weird is going on.

On related note, I wish the Fifty Shades of Gray never existed. Ever. If somebody wants to read something on the topic which is good, funny very funny, romantic, beatifully drawn (and at no point it's porn. None. It is NSFW from time to time, but it is never porn), providing insight but not forcing any view, at times heartbreaking and soul-wretching (cliffhangers!), done tastefully... the list goes on, but feel free to PM me for link. Oh, and it's free.

In fact, if that comic were about something else than romance (and... stuff), I'd already be preaching it around as the best thing I have seen in comics ever.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Oversleep

[marsoupial they/them]

10 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

On one hand, I wanted to remind everyone that people who are into kinky stuff are still people. People who may have attraction toward non-common things, but it's not defining them or their lives (or at least it shouldn't). On the other hand, if you knew that fact before the start of relationship, then something weird is going on.

I wish the Fifty Shades of Gray never existed. Ever. If somebody wants to read something on the topic which is good, funny very funny, romantic, beatifully drawn (and at no point it's porn. None.), providing insight but not forcing any view, at times heartbreaking and soul-wretching (cliffhangers!), done tastefully... the list goes on, but feel free to PM me. Oh, and it's free.

He offered to show me his extensive collection of whips and handcuffs before he even asked me out (an offer which I politely refused).

[Oversleep]

Just now, bleeder said:

He offered to show me his extensive collection of whips and handcuffs before he even asked me out (an offer which I politely refused).

...

Was he writing a Guide to Being Creepy or something?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

3 minutes ago, bleeder said:

He offered to show me his extensive collection of whips and handcuffs before he even asked me out (an offer which I politely refused).

Spoiler

 

[marsoupial they/them]

11 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

...

Was he writing a Guide to Being Creepy or something?

Pretty much.

And now, he's into my best friend and she is just overjoyed. 

(sarcasm)

Edited September 2, 2016 by bleeder

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, bleeder said:

Pretty much.

Let's hope that was Chapter 22: The Creepiest Thing I Could Think Of, and not Chapter 1: How I Usually Approach Potential Dates.  

[Oversleep]

56 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

I still have no idea why. I'm a complete weirdo. I wore a spoon in my hair today, for heavens' sakes.

...Oh yeah, I wore a spoon in my hair today. Long story.

Impossible. There is no spoon.

You seem to think being a weirdo and wearing a spoon in your hair is somehow making you... unattractive?. It makes you interesting.

1 minute ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Let's hope that was Chapter 22: The Creepiest Thing I Could Think Of, and not Chapter 1: How I Usually Approach Potential Dates.  

That was Chapter 7: How To Test Human Reactions To Unusual Situations. I hope.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

2 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

Impossible. There is no spoon.

You seem to think being a weirdo and wearing a spoon in your hair is somehow making you... unattractive?. It makes you interesting.

He's right you know. I'd rather ask out a girl with a spoon in her hair than one whose hair was spoonless. The spoon is cute. The spoon is quirky. The spoon comes with an interesting story for sure.