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Posted
1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

That sucks Insa. I'm also quite done with today, I'm in math class and struggling bad. I know that doesn't compare to why you're day is bad, but I can relate to you right now, if only a bit.

*hugs* we're here for you if you need us.

Posted
1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

I'm sorry that sucks Insa. Take some time for yourself as it seems like you are doing a lot right now. Find those that you can talk to about your life and what you have going on. 

We are all here for you.

Posted
5 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*Hugs* That sounds like a truly terrible day, and a completely justified reaction to it. I'm sorry, and I don't know what to say, but please do take care of yourself. I believe in you and I hope you untangle this. *more hugs* x

Posted (edited)
On 11/28/2022 at 11:28 AM, Elf of Ooklas said:

If you do take up the offer, I'll be very glad to listen. I'm here for you and so is every body else   

Remember that it will get better 

Here's some quotes from one of my most favourite books 

These are all so pretty and they helped me a lot, thank you elf <3

21 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*hugs hugs hugs* That sounds miserable, i'm so sorry :( i don't know how to help but i do know that a cup of tea and a really good sleep always helps me to collect myself when i'm dealing with hard things. I hope you find a good balance with your work and your health so don't feel overworked :( :(

Edited by Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat
Posted (edited)

This is why i hate my birthday

Today I went out to celebrate it with my friends cause yesterday they were all busy and i was so excited cause it was the first time i was allowed to go out to celebrate 

And you know i got a new haircut. I got bangs like Wednesday Addams and every single body made fun of them. Said i looked creepy and like a drunkard and a drug addict.  

And i was also told my face is "puffy" and called "chubby" many times today

And then we were going to a restaurant to have dinner and my best friend ditched me for her new boy toy. I got in huge trouble with my mom today cause she insisted that i come over to her house so she could do my makeup. I told her no and she still called up my mom and asked her. And my mom went off at me saying that i shouldn't ask my friends to talk to her when i literally told this girl not to 

So she ditched me. And the later she did end up coming but spent the entire time talking with her boyfriend. And none of the conversation included me. They all just basically ignored.me

I'm always ignored. Always the outsider. I thought i was fitting in finally. But no, I'm always the loser. 

My birthdays always go horribly. And for the first time i thought it wouldn't, but no. Of course not. 

Edited by Elf of Ooklas
Posted

*hugs hugs hugs hugs hug hugs hugs so much hugs*

elf I'm so so sorry that happened/happens to you. That is absolutely a horrible thing, especially on a day that should definitely be about you.

i'm so insanely sorry, and I hope you find better friends. these don't seem like good ones.

Posted

*hugs*

That's downright stupid.

I like your haircut! I think those people don't know what they're talking about.

I'm sorry you had to go through that awful day. You deserve so much better. You're a wonderful person, and I think the people that are ignoring you are missing a gem right in from of their eyes.

Their loss, I think.

Posted

*hugs*

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It really shouldn't have. Your friends were being really stupid. I really hope they knock it off or you get new friends. I'm so sorry.

Posted
3 hours ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

 

I'm so sorry. It's awful to be treated like that, especially by people who should be your friends! Your new haircut looks amazing!!! You don't look like anything they said. You are not a loser I promise. You are amazing. Again, I'm so sorry. If you want to talk or rant or anything, my PMs are open. 

Posted
8 minutes ago, Ookla the Theoretical said:

I'm so sorry. It's awful to be treated like that, especially by people who should be your friends! Your new haircut looks amazing!!! You don't look like anything they said. You are not a loser I promise. You are amazing. Again, I'm so sorry. If you want to talk or rant or anything, my PMs are open. 

I second everything here.

*Hugs* So sorry, Elf.

Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

This is why i hate my birthday

Today I went out to celebrate it with my friends cause yesterday they were all busy and i was so excited cause it was the first time i was allowed to go out to celebrate 

And you know i got a new haircut. I got bangs like Wednesday Addams and every single body made fun of them. Said i looked creepy and like a drunkard and a drug addict.  

And i was also told my face is "puffy" and called "chubby" many times today

And then we were going to a restaurant to have dinner and my best friend ditched me for her new boy toy. I got in huge trouble with my mom today cause she insisted that i come over to her house so she could do my makeup. I told her no and she still called up my mom and asked her. And my mom went off at me saying that i shouldn't ask my friends to talk to her when i literally told this girl not to 

So she ditched me. And the later she did end up coming but spent the entire time talking with her boyfriend. And none of the conversation included me. They all just basically ignored.me

I'm always ignored. Always the outsider. I thought i was fitting in finally. But no, I'm always the loser. 

My birthdays always go horribly. And for the first time i thought it wouldn't, but no. Of course not. 

*Hugs* I am not sure how to follow what was said so eloquently. However, if I may try l will say the following, if this is how "Friends" act with respect to whatever their friendship with you was I would question their right to call themselves friends of yours. That behavior is not how friends behave. Frankly, you are smart, well-read, and amazing in more ways than I could count in a day. They are unworthy of you! They are the losers for ignoring the treasure in front of them!! You are incredible they should be ashamed!  You will be extraordinary whether they are here or not. Your birthday ought to have been about you. That it was subverted by their actions is disheartening, but never lose sight of the gem that you are. Here is a poem that I hope can bring with it a little light. If you need to talk my PM's are open as well.

 

Morn
Brilliant splashes glow.
In darkness opal paint burns.
Dawn over fresh snow.

Edited by Nathrangking
Posted
7 hours ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

This is why i hate my birthday

Today I went out to celebrate it with my friends cause yesterday they were all busy and i was so excited cause it was the first time i was allowed to go out to celebrate 

And you know i got a new haircut. I got bangs like Wednesday Addams and every single body made fun of them. Said i looked creepy and like a drunkard and a drug addict.  

And i was also told my face is "puffy" and called "chubby" many times today

And then we were going to a restaurant to have dinner and my best friend ditched me for her new boy toy. I got in huge trouble with my mom today cause she insisted that i come over to her house so she could do my makeup. I told her no and she still called up my mom and asked her. And my mom went off at me saying that i shouldn't ask my friends to talk to her when i literally told this girl not to 

So she ditched me. And the later she did end up coming but spent the entire time talking with her boyfriend. And none of the conversation included me. They all just basically ignored.me

I'm always ignored. Always the outsider. I thought i was fitting in finally. But no, I'm always the loser. 

My birthdays always go horribly. And for the first time i thought it wouldn't, but no. Of course not. 

I'm am so sorry. I don't have great advice (as per usual) but I'm sorry. *Hugs* I feel like I'm the outsider all the time. You're amazing!!!

Posted
7 hours ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

This is why i hate my birthday

Today I went out to celebrate it with my friends cause yesterday they were all busy and i was so excited cause it was the first time i was allowed to go out to celebrate 

And you know i got a new haircut. I got bangs like Wednesday Addams and every single body made fun of them. Said i looked creepy and like a drunkard and a drug addict.  

And i was also told my face is "puffy" and called "chubby" many times today

And then we were going to a restaurant to have dinner and my best friend ditched me for her new boy toy. I got in huge trouble with my mom today cause she insisted that i come over to her house so she could do my makeup. I told her no and she still called up my mom and asked her. And my mom went off at me saying that i shouldn't ask my friends to talk to her when i literally told this girl not to 

So she ditched me. And the later she did end up coming but spent the entire time talking with her boyfriend. And none of the conversation included me. They all just basically ignored.me

I'm always ignored. Always the outsider. I thought i was fitting in finally. But no, I'm always the loser. 

My birthdays always go horribly. And for the first time i thought it wouldn't, but no. Of course not. 

That feeling of being ignored…of feeling like you don’t matter…frankly, it’s the worst feeling I can imagine. I’ve heard the metaphor that if a parent took 2 kids into the grocery store, they’ll hold the hand of the crazy, bad kid who will run around screaming, not the one who’s good. 
That’s the issue with being the good kid. They don’t get that just because you don’t need someone to hood your hand doesn’t mean you don’t want it. 

If life is a game, then love is the prize. It hurts to be playing the game and not getting the prize. You deserve it. It isn’t fair that the world sees us a certain way and we can’t change it. Even if the world doesn’t recognize you as beautiful, smart, and exactly who you are meant to be, those are all facts. The world’s perception of beauty changes so fast. I know logic doesn’t make it better; that doesn’t make you stop wanting the friends, the people who care, all these things that you deserve. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. My PM’s are open, and I’m always willing to listen, even if I’m not the best at giving advice. 

You are loved. You were made for this. We care about you. 

Posted (edited)
On 12/1/2022 at 11:09 AM, Elf of Ooklas said:

This is why i hate my birthday

I'm so sorry :(

I would've thrown you an awesome murder mystery birthday party if i was there. (I know that doesn't help much, but i mean it with all my heart.)

Edited by Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat
Posted (edited)

sorry to double post, but i really need this thread right now. i'm currently waiting for my covid test results, as today at dinner and especially afterwards when i realized i couldn't smell my toothpaste, i realized i am unable to smell or taste correctly, which is a huge symptom. i looked up other symptoms and realized that most of the stuff i have been attributing to a dying case of whooping cough may actually be covid-19. i'm really really scared and upset and sad, because this would quite literally be the worst time for me to get it, as my grandmother was just at our house and is going to be with my aunt who is about to give birth to my new cousin, and she can't endanger the baby and will probably have to stay away from him and my aunt if i have it. I also have a cello recital and two choir concerts in the next three days, all of which i have sacrificed a lot for (time and otherwise) in order to be ready and prepared for that i will have to miss. i was so, so excited for them. i am really upset. i hope the test is negative but it is seeming unlikely.

edit: first test is negative!!!!! i am going to take another, though, because i cannot smell or taste correctly and i don't understand why that would be.

Edit2: second test negative!!!!!!!!! I'm elated!!!!! I must still be sick, though, because i, ya know, cannot smell or taste, but my choir only requires proof that you are covid-free, so i can just wear a good mask. Yes!!!!

Edited by Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat
Posted

I hope you're second test is negative too!! I know what it's like to miss concerts and things that you've put a lot of time and effort into because of Covid. Hope your tests are negative and you feel better soon!!!!

Posted
41 minutes ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

sorry to double post, but i really need this thread right now. i'm currently waiting for my covid test results, as today at dinner and especially afterwards when i realized i couldn't smell my toothpaste, i realized i am unable to smell or taste correctly, which is a huge symptom. i looked up other symptoms and realized that most of the stuff i have been attributing to a dying case of whooping cough may actually be covid-19. i'm really really scared and upset and sad, because this would quite literally be the worst time for me to get it, as my grandmother was just at our house and is going to be with my aunt who is about to give birth to my new cousin, and she can't endanger the baby and will probably have to stay away from him and my aunt if i have it. I also have a cello recital and two choir concerts in the next three days, all of which i have sacrificed a lot for (time and otherwise) in order to be ready and prepared for that i will have to miss. i was so, so excited for them. i am really upset. i hope the test is negative but it is seeming unlikely.

 

Welcome to my world! :P

But really, I hope you feel better and can have the mental fortitude to focus during your concerts!

Posted

I just had the worst concert of my life. The guys (I'm a part of this section, but didn't make this mistake) all came in in the wrong spot, I nearly blanked during my solo (I remembered just in time, whew) and during the middle of the "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" chorus, a special needs girl burped really loudly. and we were out of tune because the men's chorus threw us off (i'm in the most advanced choir) and several other bad things happened. This was all devastating to me because I worked really hard, but apparently most others didn't. *sigh* Here's hoping my next concert goes better.

Posted
23 minutes ago, Ookla the platypus said:

I just had the worst concert of my life. The guys (I'm a part of this section, but didn't make this mistake) all came in in the wrong spot, I nearly blanked during my solo (I remembered just in time, whew) and during the middle of the "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" chorus, a special needs girl burped really loudly. and we were out of tune because the men's chorus threw us off (i'm in the most advanced choir) and several other bad things happened. This was all devastating to me because I worked really hard, but apparently most others didn't. *sigh* Here's hoping my next concert goes better.

*hugs* That sounds incredibly disappointing and frustrating.

Posted
1 hour ago, Ookla the platypus said:

I just had the worst concert of my life. The guys (I'm a part of this section, but didn't make this mistake) all came in in the wrong spot, I nearly blanked during my solo (I remembered just in time, whew) and during the middle of the "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" chorus, a special needs girl burped really loudly. and we were out of tune because the men's chorus threw us off (i'm in the most advanced choir) and several other bad things happened. This was all devastating to me because I worked really hard, but apparently most others didn't. *sigh* Here's hoping my next concert goes better.

*Hugs* It sucks when others don't take things seriously when they should.

Posted
15 hours ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

edit: first test is negative!!!!! i am going to take another, though, because i cannot smell or taste correctly and i don't understand why that would be.

Edit2: second test negative!!!!!!!!! I'm elated!!!!! I must still be sick, though, because i, ya know, cannot smell or taste, but my choir only requires proof that you are covid-free, so i can just wear a good mask. Yes!!!!

That's a relief! I'm happy for you! It still sucks to be sick though. Get better soon!

Posted (edited)

I've been in the process of auditioning for the school musical(Annie). I was really excited, except callbacks were announced, and since I'm on the older side among the other auditioners(is that a word?), I thought I'd be considered for some of the lead roles, especially considering that other people thought that I might too... but it seems like I haven't been. They had me read and sing for the orphans; not as much as other people. So I don't think I'm getting any very big roles. I'll probably get one of the orphans.

I feel stupid because I did this exact same thing last time. I thought I was going to be LeFou, but I ended up being a Silly Girl, and was disappointed. I had a blast anyway, though.

But I'm really disappointed now. And I thought that they gave me a smaller role last time because of my age. But here I am, again.

 

The cast list hasn't been announced yet, though. Maybe I'll still get a larger role. But they had all the considered orphans leave callbacks early, along with me. And most of them were younger than me.

Stupid emotions don't make sense.

Edited by Shallan Stormblessed
Posted
4 hours ago, Ookla the Pencil Taxi said:

I've been in the process of auditioning for the school musical(Annie). I was really excited, except callbacks were announced, and since I'm the oldest grade, I thought I'd be considered for some of the lead roles, especially considering that other people thought that I might too... but it seems like I haven't been. They had me read and sing for the orphans; not as much as other people. So I don't think I'm getting any very big roles. I'll probably get one of the orphans.

I feel stupid because I did this exact same thing last time. I thought I was going to be LeFou, but I ended up being a Silly Girl, and was disappointed. I had a blast anyway, though.

But I'm really disappointed now. And I thought that they gave me a smaller role last time because of my age. But here I am, again.

 

The cast list hasn't been announced yet, though. Maybe I'll still get a larger role. But they had all the considered orphans leave callbacks early, along with me. And most of them were younger than me.

Stupid emotions don't make sense.

That sounds super disappointing. It always sucks to know you'll get a side role when you gave it your all. I hope you do get a lead role but if not, then maybe ask the director/whoever runs the show? I don't really know how the musicals are run, but if it's possible, maybe you could negotiate for a role you want more. Whatever role you do get though, I can only say to give it your best and have fun (but I think you're talented enough to get a lead role). Hope this all works out for you.

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