Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

I've already ranted to some of my friends about this but it's driving me crazy. One of my show choir costumes came in today. And it looks cute but first of all the color it is, is close to my skin tone which really is weird. I can live with that, but then it's really short. The shortest I wear is a couple of inches about my knees. But this is at most only to mid-thighs. And I hate it for that. But we aren't allowed to wear anything that is longer underneath it. I can't do anything about it and I am not happy. I don't know what to do because it is my costume. I have no control. I can't change it. And I'm going to be very uncomfortable on stage. It's my closer costume too, so I have to change into it and wear it until after critics with the judges. I struggle with slits to mid-thighs, so I have no idea how I'm going to be okay with this. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

I’m so sorry! I don’t do show choir, but I am an actor and I hate it when costumes are like that. Because it’s true; there’s really nothing you can do, and it’s not like you’re just going to stop doing something you love.  And then, at least for me, there’s always the nagging worry in your head that if you complain everyone will laugh or make fun of you. If you already have the costumes, then it’s probably too late to change it too. I hope you get it figured out!

[Going_North_cal]

It's so uncomfortable when you're faced with costumes or outfits that go completely against your moral (and other) standards.

*hugs*

Super sorry really

[Immortal Platypus]

*hugs* 

I haven't had that experience, but it sounds horrible. Good luck with you performance though.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

I'm mildly sick right now, and it sucks.  It's just a cough and tiredness, I'm not even running a fever, but it is not enjoyable to cough so violently you think you're going to hurl.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Oh man, that’s awful. The whole world seems to be sick right now. I had that for the last few weeks, and it’s just horrible. It’s really not fun to miss out on things because you’re sick. 

*hugs*

I hope you get better soon!

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

On 11/17/2022 at 10:27 AM, InfiniteInsanity said:

I've already ranted to some of my friends about this but it's driving me crazy. One of my show choir costumes came in today. And it looks cute but first of all the color it is, is close to my skin tone which really is weird. I can live with that, but then it's really short. The shortest I wear is a couple of inches about my knees. But this is at most only to mid-thighs. And I hate it for that. But we aren't allowed to wear anything that is longer underneath it. I can't do anything about it and I am not happy. I don't know what to do because it is my costume. I have no control. I can't change it. And I'm going to be very uncomfortable on stage. It's my closer costume too, so I have to change into it and wear it until after critics with the judges. I struggle with slits to mid-thighs, so I have no idea how I'm going to be okay with this. 

I would be absolutely furious. And you probably are. I’m so sorry, and I hope it works out.

Here’s a dragon-shaped pie for you.

5 hours ago, Spren of Kindness said:

I'm mildly sick right now, and it sucks.  It's just a cough and tiredness, I'm not even running a fever, but it is not enjoyable to cough so violently you think you're going to hurl.

Sickness. The worst bane of life. I’m so sorry.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated :(

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

I'm sorry. *hugs*

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

*hugs*

I'm sorry, Szeth. A lot of that sounds really awful. It's the worst when things get all bottled up inside.

Maybe try to clear the communication channels with your parents? From what you said, I can tell things are really difficult right now, but maybe you could express how you've been having a hard time lately, so it feels unfair to be treated this way because you're doing the absolute best you can. You can tell them that you're in the place right now where it really hurts to be criticized about the minor things and ask them to express themselves differently. Personally, this is the approach that's worked for me, but I understand that all situations are different and you should do what you think is best. 

Another thing you could try doing is finding a way to let your emotions out. Maybe it sounds silly and one more 'annoying thing' to do, but it's truly worth doing. For me, it's playing piano, but I've known people who have started running, writing, drawing, or anything that expresses themselves and it's been so helpful for them. Just take about 10 minutes a day to find something to do that expresses yourself and I think you'll notice a difference. Things won't immediately be better, but maybe it'll help. Also, talking to people always helps.

Also, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that cousin. Like what the heck, he shouldn't be able to do things like that and barely get punished. And I don't like that you are the one who has to worry that "he'll be pissed". It doesn't sound like a fun situation.

[Robin Sedai she/her]

*hugs* that sounds awful. As somebody who also bottles it all up inside, my deepest sympathies and I hope you find an outlet for your frustrations. *more hugs*

Edited November 28, 2022 by Ookla the Cloud

[Morningtide she/her]

19 hours ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated

Hugs Szeth that sounds stressful. It's rough to deal with multiple things like that at a time! I hope everything clears up and you start feeling better

[Going_North_cal]

*hugs* @Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat

szeth I'm so sorry about that. i wish i could give you a hug in real life, but sadly, the most i can do is hugs over the internets.

my PMs are always open, you know that, it's so fun to talk to you, and it hurts to see you suffering this much.

we all love you, and think you're an amazing person to have on the Shard and in the world.

[Guest]

I'm so sorry Szeth! Parents can be horrible and they don't have any right to behave that way towards you 

It's really unfair how they are treating you. I hope things get better for you and my PM's are always open if you wanna talk and vent (or even get excited over TRC) 

Lots of hugs <333

Edited November 28, 2022 by Elf of Ooklas

[Szeth's Facepalm]

All of you are so kind, thank you for the hugs and encouragement :)

19 hours ago, Ookla the Debonair said:

Another thing you could try doing is finding a way to let your emotions out. Maybe it sounds silly and one more 'annoying thing' to do, but it's truly worth doing. For me, it's playing piano, but I've known people who have started running, writing, drawing, or anything that expresses themselves and it's been so helpful for them. Just take about 10 minutes a day to find something to do that expresses yourself and I think you'll notice a difference. Things won't immediately be better, but maybe it'll help. Also, talking to people always helps.

Yeah, i try to let my frustration out in productive ways, and it does work sometimes but often it just doesn't feel like enough :( talking to people i know irl about stuff like this is really really hard for me but i think im going to try. I really appreciate all of your advice :)

29 minutes ago, Ookla the Crow said:

*hugs* @Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat

szeth I'm so sorry about that. i wish i could give you a hug in real life, but sadly, the most i can do is hugs over the internets.

my PMs are always open, you know that, it's so fun to talk to you, and it hurts to see you suffering this much.

we all love you, and think you're an amazing person to have on the Shard and in the world.

 

19 minutes ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

I'm so sorry Szeth! Parents can be horrible and they don't have any right to behave that way towards you 

It's really unfair how they are treating you. I hope things get better for you and my PM's are always open if you wanna talk and vent (or even get excited over TRC) 

Lots of hugs <333

I might take you guys up on the pm offer if it gets worse :(

[Going_North_cal]

please do if you need to, you know i'll listen

[Morningtide she/her]

1 minute ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

All of you are so kind, thank you for the hugs and encouragement

Yeah, i try to let my frustration out in productive ways, and it does work sometimes but often it just doesn't feel like enough talking to people i know irl about stuff like this is really really hard for me but i think im going to try. I really appreciate all of your advice

I might take you guys up on the pm offer if it gets worse

I get what you're saying about talking to people. I'm not good at that either. It helps though! It's worth it. My PMs are also always open if you need to talk.

[Guest]

If you do take up the offer, I'll be very glad to listen. I'm here for you and so is every body else   

Remember that it will get better 

Here's some quotes from one of my most favourite books 

Quote

It has been a hard and lonely life, she says, and a wonderful one, too. She has lived through wars, and fought in them, witnessed revolutions and rebirth. She has left her mark on a thousand works of art, like a thumbprint in the bottom of a drying bowl. She has seen marvels, and gone mad, has danced in snowbanks and frozen to death along the Seine. She fell in love with the darkness many times, fell in love with a human once.

And she is tired. Unspeakably tired.

But there is no question she has lived.

'Nothing is all good or all bad,' she says. 'Life is is much messier than that.'

And there in the dark, he asks if it was really worth it.

Were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow?

Were the moments of beauty worth the years of pain?

And she turns her head, and looks at him, and says, 'Always.' 

 

Quote

Do you know how to live three hundred years?” she says. And when he asks how, she smiles. “The same way you live one. A second at a time

 

Quote

There is a defiance in being a dreamer.

 

Quote

There are days when she mourns the prospect of another year, another decade, another century. There are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying.

But then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world.

And she does not want to miss it—any of it.

 

Quote

“But this is how you walk to the end of the world. This is how you live forever. Here is one day, and here is the next, and the next, and you take what you can, savor every stolen second, cling to every moment, until it's gone.” -The Invisible Life of Addie Larue 

 

[Edema Rue she/her]

On 11/27/2022 at 1:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated

I know I'm a day late, but I am so sorry. It's the worst when everything bottles up and explodes all at once and then...no one cares. I recently missed a ton of school, and now I don't understand any of it. Being behind in school is the worst. Don't beat yourself up about procrastinating. There's a lot to do, and while you should do it, it's also really hard to get started. Do what you can, but take it slow and remember that school isn't the most important thing. It does matter, but take time for yourself too. I'm so sorry also about everything else. People are jerks, and I have no idea how to deal with them. If I knew you irl, I would give you a hug. Virtual will have to do. *hugs*

[Immortal Platypus]

On 11/25/2022 at 9:48 AM, Spren of Kindness said:

I'm mildly sick right now, and it sucks.  It's just a cough and tiredness, I'm not even running a fever, but it is not enjoyable to cough so violently you think you're going to hurl.

*hugs* i just got sick like that. I had to sit next to my sick younger brother for 6 hours in a cramped car, so that's how I got it. *hugs again* get well soon. 

On 11/27/2022 at 1:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

I haven't had most of those experiences, but the ones I have had suck. I hope you feel better and stay safe and get your parents to do what you need and get caught up and are able to deal with everything. I don't know what else to say so... *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

[That1Cellist he/him]

On 11/27/2022 at 2:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated

Wow. I am so sorry. *Hugs* You're awesome.

We all have challenges, and look at how well you've done! You've improved!

I hope things end up going better for you, and I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this. I hope you'll be able to set things right and be happy.

Good luck out there, the world is a rough place. I'm so glad there are good people like you in it.

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

[That1Cellist he/him]

1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*Hugs* Hmmmmm, as usual, I'm completely baffled as to how to help people out here. My advice, personally, would be above all things to get more sleep and make certain you have time to relax. I'm really sorry you've been having a rough time lately. Talk to people you trust and know will be able to help you, because we can try to give support, but those people will be the ones who can really relate and more accurately help you through your problems. Good luck! I hope you're feeling better soon!

Music is something that helps me calm down when I'm really overwhelmed. I would recommend you listen to Mendelsohn's Violin concerto in E minor, op 64, or Largo from the sonata in G minor for cello by Henry Eccles.

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

I'm sorry. That sounds awful.

To be honest, it's okay to be done with the day. Take some time for yourself. Life is difficult, and no one can keep up with it all the time. 

We're here for you, and we believe in you.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Good music is usually super helpful, at least for me. Mahler's Symphony No. 2 is also really great, especially the climax towards the end, but it's over an hour and I don't know how much time you have. Good luck! You can do this.