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Posted

Granted. You are permanently lashed upward, so that you fall away from the earth with the same acceleration you would otherwise fall towards it (I do hope you were indoors when you made the request, otherwise you're probably going to burn up on your ascent into outer space due to air resistance).

I wish to receive the recipe for the best possible earth-approximation of chouta, transcribed in English, made from ingredients native to earth.

Posted
On March 26, 2018 at 6:13 PM, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You are permanently lashed upward, so that you fall away from the earth with the same acceleration you would otherwise fall towards it (I do hope you were indoors when you made the request, otherwise you're probably going to burn up on your ascent into outer space due to air resistance).

I wish to receive the recipe for the best possible earth-approximation of chouta, transcribed in English, made from ingredients native to earth.

Granted, but you notice that you are allergic to most ingredients needed to make Earth-chouta. Your friends all eat the chouta and love it, but you are left chouta-less and sad.

I wish for the ability to meet Hoid, and take a professional insulting class from him.

Posted

Granted. However you are transformed into a statue the moment that Hoid arrives. Hence your lessons come in the form of him insulting you for all eternity.

I call upon the power of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for my name to be spoken of in awe from this day forward.

Posted
On 3/27/2018 at 7:30 PM, ElephantEarwax said:

Granted. It will be spoken because you were a disappointment. (awww)

I wish for a cherry pie.

Granted. Catered by the DA

I wish my homework was done so I could stop stalling on here.

 

Posted

Granted. Your homework is done, and flawlessly at that, but however many points the assignment is worth is deducted from your next exam.

I wish for an intuitive understanding of other languages.

Posted

Granted. However, you become mute, so you can't use any of them.

I wish that no harm outside of the natural cycles befalls me, be it in the physical, cognitive, or spiritual, from this day on.

Posted (edited)

I'm just jumping in here so I don't know if my curses have been done yet.

10 hours ago, The Thinking Herald said:

Granted. However, you become mute, so you can't use any of them.

I wish that no harm outside of the natural cycles befalls me, be it in the physical, cognitive, or spiritual, from this day on.

Granted but your natural life cycle is shortened to an instant and you die.

I wish I was to a Shard as a Shard is to a mote of dust.

Edited by InvertShard
Posted
1 hour ago, InvertShard said:

I'm just jumping in here so I don't know if my curses have been done yet.

Granted but your natural life cycle is shortened to an instant and you die.

I wish I was to a Shard as a Shard is to a mote of dust.

Granted, but everyone hates you for it. A group of people band together and remove you from power. 

I wish for immortality, eternal youth, and an Honorblade.

Posted
33 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Granted, but everyone hates you for it. A group of people band together and remove you from power. 

I wish for immortality, eternal youth, and an Honorblade.

Adonalsium much?

Posted
14 hours ago, The Thinking Herald said:

Granted. However, you become mute, so you can't use any of them.

Actually, I'll gladly take that deal. I can still listen, read, and write. Not to mention the fact that I deliberately worded it to include programming languages. :P

3 hours ago, Ashspren said:

I wish for immortality, eternal youth, and an Honorblade.

A threefold wish, but very well.

I grant you immortality, at the cost of your freedom. I bind you where you stand. From this ground you shall never stray, else you wither away. Your essence will diminish, approaching utter nonbeing but never quite reaching it, until you return to this place.

I grant you eternal youth, at the cost of your strength. You shall struggle and shake to lift a mere writing implement, and you shall be as such for the duration of your unnaturally prolonged existence. By no means, magical or mundane, shall you overcome this.

I grant you an Honorblade, at the cost of your ties to this world. All of your possessions save the Honorblade find their way into the hands of others, and all your acquaintances, friends, and loved ones are estranged from you. From now on, nothing you hold onto, save this Honorblade, will remain long with you.

(The alternative was to make you Talanel, and nobody deserves such a fate. Enjoy your threefold boon.)

 

I wish for a sand-witch.

Posted (edited)

Sure have a poisoned sandwich so i can watch you collapse into a twitching heap.

I wish I could hop Cosmeres like a Worldhopper hops worlds.

Edited by InvertShard
Posted
12 minutes ago, InvertShard said:

Sure have a poisoned sandwich so i can watch you collapse into a twitching heap.

I wish I could hop Cosmeres like a Worldhopper hops worlds.

Granted, but upon your first hop, you are killed painfully by a Shardblade. You are never seen again.

I wish to be able to read minds, yet still live a long and prosperous life with many friends and family members.

Posted

You can read all minds. You have no control over this ability and are constantly listening to the deepest thoughts and fears of those around you. The only ones you cannot hear are those closest to you in Spirit. You are very nearly driven insane by crowds and people who think in different languages.

I wish Nightwatcher no longer existed.

Posted
31 minutes ago, InvertShard said:

I wish Nightwatcher no longer existed.

The Nightwatcher wags her finger at you as you speak. When you finish she laughs at you and turns you into a aged cremling. 

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish that every world currency had a picture of me on it.

Posted
2 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

The Nightwatcher wags her finger at you as you speak. When you finish she laughs at you and turns you into a aged cremling. 

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish that every world currency had a picture of me on it.

Granted, but it turns out to be an ugly selfie. Everyone uses the currency as toilet paper. If the currency is in coins, they melt them down. The melted metal is now worth more than the actual coins, because nobody wanted to use them due to the cringiness of the ugly selfie. 

I call on the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to become Jasnah’s Ward.

Posted

Granted. It appears 5 times larger because it is 5 times closer. Thus, all the tides are messed up.

I wish for the powers of the Ebony Maw - that is, to be able to use my voice to persuade anyone to do anything I wish.

Posted (edited)

Granted but now you cannot have a regular conversation because your voice is so captivating that it puts everyone who hears even a whisper of your voice under your control.

I want to be able to survive in any environment for as long as I want.

Edited by InvertShard
Posted

Granted, but you are now a recluse. Contact with any species that has the ability to speak will subsequently lead to your loss of sapience.

I wish to be popular on the 17th shard as well as have all the upvotes. :P

Posted
12 minutes ago, Sahin the Just said:

Granted, but you are now a recluse. Contact with any species that has the ability to speak will subsequently lead to your loss of sapience.

I wish to be popular on the 17th shard as well as have all the upvotes. :P

Granted! However, you have no friends in real life.

I wish for the ability to use Breath.

Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Granted! However, you have no friends in real life

My current situation right now! Well minus the popularity here ^_^

 

4 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

I wish for the ability to use Breath.

Granted. Though you are now a Returned and have no memory of your past life.

I wish to be one of the 6(?) un-named Shards

Edited by Sahin the Just
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Sahin the Just said:

My current situation right now! Well minus the popularity here ^_^

Hey, same! I guess that’s why I spend so much time on the Shard...

1 hour ago, Sahin the Just said:

Granted. Though you are now a Returned and have no memory of your past life.

I wish to be one of the 6(?) un-named Shards

Granted... you are the Shard of failure. The world you try to create immediately explodes upon contact, and was not worthy of becoming a Brandon Sanderson book. You slink back into the Cognitive Realm, and have never been seen since. You are virtually the most unknown Shard.

I can upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to have a social life.

Edited by Ashspren

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