The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I Lash the Sandwich back and create a "Don't Abuse The Elephants" club.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I Lash the Sandwich back and create a "Don't Abuse The Elephants" club.

I tell you that I first asked the elephants for permission, and out of the kindness of their hearts, they obliged. I then aks the elephants to hit you on the head, and they kindly do. Then I grab the Sandwich and once again ride off on an elephant.

Edited May 7 by Unintelligenius
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[NerdSandwich she/her]

I transform into Princess Legolas, and slay the elephants in style. I steal the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I start a side business selling popcorn for other people baffled by the current turn of events. I offer you a free sample.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I take the sample.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I sample your taking of the sample

[Unintelligenius he/him]

6 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I transform into Princess Legolas, and slay the elephants in style. I steal the Sandwich

I gasp in horror at your act of violence against the poor elephants. I start a petition to have you imprisoned for your actions. As per law, all we need are two signatures for it to be turned into law. I sign it and then go around asking for signatures.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I destroy the petition.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I petition destruction.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I sign the petition, then inquire as to what kind of destruction this petition supports.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I take the Sandwich whilst everyone is distracted by petitions.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I undistract myself and steal the Sandwich by distracting you (I created an anti-petitioning petition).

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

The destruction petition has reached 4900 signatures! Through The Living Ketek only needs (an undisclosed number) more to resummon (an Undisclosed (undisclosed))!

[Unintelligenius he/him]

7 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I undistract myself and steal the Sandwich by distracting you (I created an anti-petitioning petition).

I sign the petition, but then the anti-petitioning petition self-implodes because it cancels itself out. The explosion knocks you out, and I pick up the Sandwich from your unconscious body.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I consciousize myself (I'm not particularly fond of unconsciousness). I steal the Sandwich out of revenge.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

REVENGE?

Delicious.

I eat your revenge, and yeet the Sandwich to a galaxy far, far away.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I yeet myself after the Sandwich, take the Sandwich, and decide to stay.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I turn on comedic sound effect mode.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I yeet myself after the Sandwich, take the Sandwich, and decide to stay.

Stormtroopers come and kidnap you and bring you to Darth Vader. They also send the Sandwich off to the emperor.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal from the emperor by using atium and compounding steel. I steal the Sandwich, and I eated Darth Vater. I eated him all. No more Star Wars.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I shrug and petition you to give the Sandwich back.

[Shatter He/Him]

Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims decides to crash Discord's API. He does so. He then goes back to sleeping in the clouds.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

7 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal from the emperor by using atium and compounding steel. I steal the Sandwich, and I eated Darth Vater. I eated him all. No more Star Wars.

I sue you for destroying Star Wars, as this is possibly the greatest crime ever committed in the Sandwich universe(s). The judge gives you a billion infinite life sentences and orders you to return Darth Vader.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

You dies in prison. @NerdSandwich is free.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

9 hours ago, Shatter said:

Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims decides to crash Discord's API. He does so. He then goes back to sleeping in the clouds.

I am very excited at Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims' appearance and start throwing breadcrumbs at the clouds.

As a prison Gaurd, I summon a shark. I don't even remember why this job involves sharks by this point.