The Battle for the Sandwich

[___ He/Him]

The sandwich appears in my hand, and I happen to be on the other side of the galaxy.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

8 minutes ago, ___ said:

The sandwich appears in my hand, and I happen to be on the other side of the galaxy.

Dat's too blunt. Nope. 

 

I say nuh uh.

[___ He/Him]

Fine

While everyone's distracted by my boring post, I sneak over to whoever has the sandwich and switch it with an explosive fake

Then I go to the other side of the galaxy.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

ok

I grab my Samsung Galaxy Phone and shake you out of the side, then I grab the Sandwich and give it to one of my avatars.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I grab your phone, mad that everyone gets to have one. I throw it to the other side of the universe and while you attempt to retrieve it, I grab the Sandwich.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

9 hours ago, Verdance said:

FN.9 creates a Rift that appears right next to Clone, steals the sandwich, then leaves the applicable space of Battle For The Sandwich and appears somewhere insulated from the narration-adjacent abilities of BftS Authors. 

Clone points out that the Authors are far more powerful than Narrators, and such restrictions don't apply to them.

1 hour ago, NerdSandwich said:

I grab your phone, mad that everyone gets to have one. I throw it to the other side of the universe and while you attempt to retrieve it, I grab the Sandwich.

Clone snatches the sandwich and goes back to... Callisto I think?

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone points out that the Authors are far more powerful than Narrators, and such restrictions don't apply to them.

Clone snatches the sandwich and goes back to... Callisto I think?

FN.9 points out that he is the only outlet of @Verdance’s Authority in BftS and therefore his defense against narration-adjacent abilities is much stronger. It would take a supremely brilliant Author to cross an expanse of space out of reach of Chaotic Light and retrieve the sandwich. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Just now, Verdance said:

FN.9 points out that he is the only outlet of @Verdance’s Authority in BftS and therefore his defense against narration-adjacent abilities is much stronger. It would take a supremely brilliant Author to cross an expanse of space out of reach of Chaotic Light and retrieve the sandwich. 

Clone points out that this doesn't really matter all that much; at the end of the day, Authors do whatever they want, unless it violates site rules.

"Besides," he adds. "You don't have the sandwich anymore. I believe the Potato God stole it from you."

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone points out that this doesn't really matter all that much; at the end of the day, Authors do whatever they want, unless it violates site rules.

"Besides," he adds. "You don't have the sandwich anymore. I believe the Potato God stole it from you."

FN.9 curses. He will have to find a better way, and decides to bide his time until his allies return before striking.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I did, in fact, have the Sandwich at that point.

I steal the Sandwich by hiring the Potato God (again).

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 minute ago, NerdSandwich said:

I did, in fact, have the Sandwich at that point.

I steal the Sandwich by hiring the Potato God (again).

Clone bribes the Potato God to backstab you and give him the sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I stumble over to you, my compass pointing right at the Sandwich. I grab it, then disappear through a trapdoor in a poof of smoke. I then make my way to my getaway car and drive off before anyone notices.

Edited April 24 by Unintelligenius

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, NerdSandwich said:

I did, in fact, have the Sandwich at that point.

I steal the Sandwich by hiring the Potato God (again).

The Potato God, otherwise known as the dark archangel Éntrius, is allied with @Verdance. He steals the sandwich for you, then at the last moment double crosses you and gives it to me. I fly away with the Sandwich, never to be seen again.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Hacim, Erffoj, Kaladist, Ketek, and I all surprise attack...........

 

a random dude who stole my Snapple.

Oh look! It was actually @___! Oops! Oh well, I got my Snapple back! I spike the Snapple with some poetry juice.

[Verdance he/him]

2 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

Hacim, Erffoj, Kaladist, Ketek, and I all surprise attack...........

 

a random dude who stole my Snapple.

Oh look! It was actually @___! Oops! Oh well, I got my Snapple back! I spike the Snapple with some poetry juice.

Did you know that Snapple owns Doctor Pepper, which is better than both Coke and Pepsi?

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

21 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Did you know that Snapple owns Doctor Pepper, which is better than both Coke and Pepsi?

nah

Root Beer is better

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

3 hours ago, Verdance said:

Did you know that Snapple owns Doctor Pepper, which is better than both Coke and Pepsi?

See I've heard of all of these except Snapple 

I shrug, chug a bottle of lemon juice, and fly after Verdance. Very slowly. By strapping bumblebees to my shoes.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I chug a bottle of orange juice and fly after Verdance by strapping wasps to my shoes. I steal the Sandwich.

[Denissimo He/him]

I apparate directly above you, plummeting and hitting you as I fall, bringing us both down.

I use Wish (DnD 5E) to summon an army of Lichs to aid me in this fight. They plummet as well. TUrns out, none of them know any flying spells. Anyways, the converge upon you midair, allowing me to take the sandwich while you are trapped in an airborned gauntlet of Lichs.

I consider how I'm going to get down. Or rather, get down slow enough to not splat onto the ground.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I Apparate directly below you, steal the Sandwich, and Apparate away.

[RaeTheRaven]

I, being an animagus (obviously a raven) landed on your head just as you were disapparating. I poop on your head, grab the sandwich and fly off. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

4 minutes ago, RaeTheRaven said:

I, being an animagus (obviously a raven) landed on your head just as you were disapparating. I poop on your head, grab the sandwich and fly off. 

However, It was all a dream... Because you didn't bold your text

[RaeTheRaven]

Don't you know that all ravens can make dreams come true? 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

No, I dont. And if I don't know something, then it's obviously false.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I grab my cheese shark Avatar, Hacim, and turn all things @NerdSandwich knows into cheese, so all @NerdSandwich knows now is cheese. Only cheese.