The Battle for the Sandwich

[Verdance he/him]

3 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I eat your shark.

Wasing unshark me to your eating

Edited May 12 by Verdance

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I take the Sandwich from @NerdSandwich because I'm bored. I then lock it in a safe that won't open until page 555.

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Unintelligenius said:

I take the Sandwich from @NerdSandwich because I'm bored. I then lock it in a safe that won't open until page 555.

I walk up to you, tip my hat, snap my fingers, and suddenly the safe is in my hands. I walk away whistling the motif from Provider.

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

I crack the safe with my powers from TLPL that ENTRIUS gave me. I then use Eldritch Blast on the Sandwich to blast it into the upper atmosphere.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I give a round of applause.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

17 minutes ago, Adonalsium Will Return said:

I crack the safe with my powers from TLPL that ENTRIUS gave me. I then use Eldritch Blast on the Sandwich to blast it into the upper atmosphere.

I look on in disbelief. Then I do a triple backflip and summon a fireball, which I throw at you. I grab the Sandwich whilst you are burning and hide the Sandwich in a pile of other fake sandwiches.

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

The heat does not affect me, since ENTRIUS hath given me the heat of the POTATO. I use Disintegrate on the pile, knowing that the true Sandwich cannot be destroyed, and pick up the single remaining one.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

After you pick up my other hamster, named 'the single remaining one', I steal the Sandwich.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I turn @NerdSandwich into steel for stealing. but I don't take the Sandwich. for the Sandwich has disappeared while I turned @NerdSandwich into steel. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I search. I steal the Sandwich. I stay steel. But I can move.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

You move to Mars. the Sandwich is stolen by tiny green aliens that communicate via only using different names of cheese

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich back and scold them in their language.

"Mozzerella Halloumi Parmesan Swiss! Swiss! Swiss!"

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

"Cheddar Mozzarella Gouda Brie Gruyere! Parmesan Feta Roquefort Havarti Provolone Muenster, Gruyere Gorgonzola Asiago! Camembert Ricotta Stilton Colby! Monterey Jack! Swiss Blue!" The green aliens infect you with the Cheese Touch Pro Max.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I poke my head up pensively from a hole in the ground. "...mushrooms?" I offer.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

You are attacked by the little green aliens and sacrificed to the cheese God.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I shrug while munching mushrooms. This is normal.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I build a spaceship, fly to Mars, become king of the little green aliens after introducing them to cheese pizza, and have my soilders take the Sandwich from @NerdSandwich and lock it in a vault.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I mind control the little green aliens and steal the Sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I mind control you and make you give me the Sandwich.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I distract you with my little sister, break free of your mind control, and steal the Sandwich. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

The space police pull you over because your left blinker is broken and when they run your license and registration it doesn't show up so they arrest you. They throw away the Sandwich, thinking it is useless.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I escape using my super awesome teleportation powers and steal the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I summon a shark because I can't seem to stop doing that. 

I then proceed to summon an extremely angry pigeon called Gert, who steals the Sandwich and starts squawking loudly

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I channel my anger at life into Gert, and he subsequently explodes---but not after I compound steel and steal the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Gert reforms on your head and even angrier, pecking at your hair.