The Battle for the Sandwich

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

The sandwich, as my ex-wife,

or is she still my wife?

gives us herself as a wedding present.

not like that you dirty-minded slime

and so me and Jerome go on a honeymoon with The Sandwich in my pocket

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Clarkmon22 said:

The sandwich, as my ex-wife,

or is she still my wife?

gives us herself as a wedding present.

not like that you dirty-minded slime

and so me and Jerome go on a honeymoon with The Sandwich in my pocket

The confusion is real

Unfortunately, a pickpocket I hired steals the Sandwich from your pocket and brings it (her?) to me.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I hire Lift to steal the Sandwich from you. She succeeds and brings it back to me.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

34 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I hire Lift to steal the Sandwich from you. She succeeds and brings it back to me.

Lift then laughs in your face as she runs away with it. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Yup, she runs away with it, my pet hamster.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

8 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Jerome trades me the Sandwich for 44 bananas. I kill him afterward anyway.

I hunt you down and nuke you for your grievous sins. (Also, he would never trade away the Sandwich to anyone else)

7 hours ago, Clarkmon22 said:

NNOOOOO NOT JEROME

I re-alive him and propose

I thank you for reviving him.

7 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I officially marry the two of you.

I officially unmarry the two of you because he's my pet monkey.

7 hours ago, Clarkmon22 said:

and so me and Jerome go on a honeymoon with The Sandwich in my pocket

Jerome, now officially unmarried, comes back to me, and we go off to hunt more bananas. We happen to stumble upon the Sandwich and pick it up, and then keep hunting

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I stumble upon you and steal the Sandwich again.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

6 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Yup, she runs away with it, my pet hamster.

Who, as I recall, was brutally dismembered by Bartholomew. Luckily, Lift is able to use Regrowth to heal it. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

22 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

I collapse the Elsegate right before I would have passed through it and land on the ground. Angry, I summon a blade and advance at you. 

I become a giant again, this time with 4 arms. I charge at you, Shardblade in hand.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Sandy appeared out of a door leading to the Door-way. I hand him Ishar's honorblade, and he leaves back through the door.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

3 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I stumble upon you and steal the Sandwich again.

I point at the sign that says "no stumbling... punishable by death", and then the cops take you away. I walk over and grab the discarded Sandwich.

[ChipsAHoid He/Him]

On 9/4/2025 at 3:21 PM, VieB13 said:

THERE IS NO METAL IN THE SANDWICH WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE ON. 

I thought it was spiked?

14 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Jerome trades me the Sandwich for 44 bananas. I kill him afterward anyway.

You can’t just kill Jerome

Heinous crime

1 hour ago, Uninteligenius said:

I point at the sign that says "no stumbling... punishable by death", and then the cops take you away. I walk over and grab the discarded Sandwich.

I thank you for fetching it for me, and I claim it as my own. I skip away, chortling for joy

[Unintelligenius he/him]

5 minutes ago, ChipsAHoid said:

I thought it was spiked?

You can’t just kill Jerome

Heinous crime

I thank you for fetching it for me, and I claim it as my own. I skip away, chortling for joy

I point at the sign that says "no skipping... punishable by death", and then the cops take you away. I walk over and grab the discarded Sandwich.

[ChipsAHoid He/Him]

8 minutes ago, Uninteligenius said:

I point at the sign that says "no skipping... punishable by death", and then the cops take you away. I walk over and grab the discarded Sandwich.

I mention the sign that says "no pointing at signs... punishable by death", and then the cops take you away. I escape, walk over, and grab the discarded Sandwich.

Edited September 6, 2025 by ChipsAHoid
I’m am the grammarerer

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I sue you and send Wayne to steal the Sandwich for me. He succeeds and gives it to me.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

15 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I sue you and send Wayne to steal the Sandwich for me. He succeeds and gives it to me.

But then he changes his mind and decides to exchange it with Bartholomew for a nice hat. 

18 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I become a giant again, this time with 4 arms. I charge at you, Shardblade in hand.

I dodge to the side, then swing at you. 

[Vielence She/Her]

I *poof* take the sandwich, then *poof* again. 

[ChipsAHoid He/Him]

2 hours ago, VieB13 said:

I *poof* take the sandwich, then *poof* again. 

I *poof* take your organs, then *poof* again

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, VieB13 said:

I *poof* take the sandwich, then *poof* again. 

Now that your organs are gone, I take the Sandwich and run from the cops that are chasing me because I'm resisting arrest.

[Vielence She/Her]

26 minutes ago, Uninteligenius said:

Now that your organs are gone, I take the Sandwich and run from the cops that are chasing me because I'm resisting arrest.

Ah ah ah, he only took my first set. I have back up ones now bc of this exact reason. (Thanks paranoia lol)

I keep the sandwich and then tell the cops exactly where you went. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

I dodge to the side, then swing at you. 

I parry, then turn my Shardblade into a spear and try to stab you

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

15 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I parry, then turn my Shardblade into a spear and try to stab you

I knock it aside and slash at you diagonally. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

While the duel is going on, I steal the second set of organs with the help of Lt. Harry "Snapper" Organs and take the sandwich as a side for my organ salad.

[Vielence She/Her]

Without realizing that I have 3 pairs. 
Your organ salad will have to wait. Also, EW. Anyways, as you try to take it I bop you on the head, steal YOUR organs, then *poof*

Edited September 7, 2025 by VieB13
Typos. Gah.

[ChipsAHoid He/Him]

3 hours ago, VieB13 said:

Anyways, as you try to take it I bop you on the head, steal YOUR organs, then *poof*

Anyways, as you try to take it I bop you on the head, steal all your organs, biological, stolen, or otherwise, then *poof*