The Battle for the Sandwich

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

I notice the curves of his Vs and deduce its a trick

[Riino He/Him]

On 9/3/2025 at 11:53 AM, Doomslug the Arcane said:

You know of the Dreamscape?

*bonks you with a frying pan*

Now you sleep!

*Stormlight enhanced skulls resists* 

 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

After you take care of @Clarkmon22, I slip in and steal the sandwich. I am open to treaties.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

And that's when I make my entrance, having been hiding behind a speck of dust!! I do a fantastic quadruple backflip and snatch The Sandwich from your hands, then run away as fast as I am able.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

But I am faster, because I compound steel and steal the Sandwich back.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

But I am faster, because I compound steel and steal the Sandwich back.

Until Bartholomew Ooblecks you, removing your access to the Metallic Arts. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Until he betrays you and un-Ooblecks me out of pity.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

13 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Until he betrays you and un-Ooblecks me out of pity.

Bartholomew, realising the horrendous sin he had committed, runs back to me repenting, and I graciously forgive him. Unfortunately (for you), the Ooblecks properties had an instantaneous - not a duration - effect, and thus the removal of it did not restore your abilities. 

 

Realising that @KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren had not moved since he was buried by the rockslide, I took the opportunity to create an Elsegate and prepared to shove him in, in an attempt to win our duel. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

My friend kills a bunch of people and uses Hemalurgy to makeme a full Twinborn again. I flee to Scadrial with the Sandwich and send a message via spanreed to Bartholomew, asking for a truce.

[Vielence She/Her]

On 9/2/2025 at 4:38 PM, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I destroy all chaos with my Shardblade and duralumin-ironpull the metal in the sandwich.

THERE IS NO METAL IN THE SANDWICH WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE ON. 

On 9/2/2025 at 5:31 PM, ChipsAHoid said:

I blame you for attempting to destroy mods

and I wonder why ur inside a mod did he like eat you or smth?

… I get eaten a lot. 

On 9/2/2025 at 6:10 PM, TruthwatchingRadiant said:

I tame the dragons and train them to take the Sandwich from you. I poof the Sandwich into sentience with 10000000 Breaths and sheer force of memes. It now wants to stay with me.

I let you have it out of respect bc that was really good. 

On 9/3/2025 at 8:21 AM, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

By way of miraculous Vin magic, I steal the Sandwich.

Hey I stole that already. 

On 9/3/2025 at 10:55 AM, Clarkmon22 said:

Oh sry 

I press it and wonder "what could go wrong?"

Famous last words. 

37 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

My friend kills a bunch of people and uses Hemalurgy to makeme a full Twinborn again. I flee to Scadrial with the Sandwich and send a message via spanreed to Bartholomew, asking for a truce.

I intercept the spa reed and arrange a truce meeting, then stage an ambush. I then proceeded to take the sandwich and take over all life that exists on this plane and the next. 
So there. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I was not alive at the time, as I was visiting my only friend in the Cognitive Realm. I ambush you, take you by surprise, and steal The Sandwich.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

51 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I was not alive at the time, as I was visiting my only friend in the Cognitive Realm. I ambush you, take you by surprise, and steal The Sandwich.

I ambush you in turn and take the sandwhich.

[Vielence She/Her]

I ambush the ambushes to steal it. 

Edited September 4, 2025 by VieB13

[Unintelligenius he/him]

On 9/3/2025 at 2:18 PM, Clarkmon22 said:

Trick is, I'm not on Earth. I'm my home planet, 

Uhhh I forgot what I called it earlier

Bob, relaxing in paradise. I invite @Uninteligenius over to draft a treaty (pls peace bro I beg of youuuuu)

I agree to the peace treaty with the condition that you supply me with 1,000 bananas a year for my pet monkey, Jerome.

 

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

betttttt

I give you enough for the next 5 years, and then realize i'm bananaless. 

then I cry

I cry so much, I create a river, and I drown myself in it. 

then I realize that I don wanna die and I haven't beat silksong even though its been out for 7 hours and 44 minutes, and I come back to life and start grinding.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew, realising the horrendous sin he had committed, runs back to me repenting, and I graciously forgive him. Unfortunately (for you), the Ooblecks properties had an instantaneous - not a duration - effect, and thus the removal of it did not restore your abilities. 

 

Realising that @KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren had not moved since he was buried by the rockslide, I took the opportunity to create an Elsegate and prepared to shove him in, in an attempt to win our duel. 

I compound Connection to the physical realm, making it so that I can't be shoved into Shadesmar.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I ambush the ambush to the ambushes and prepare for another ambush.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

5 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I ambush the ambush to the ambushes and prepare for another ambush.

Unfortunately, before your preparations can be finished, you are ambushed. 

40 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I compound Connection to the physical realm, making it so that I can't be shoved into Shadesmar.

I surround you with silver, shattering your Connections (it works like that trust). 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Yes, I am ambushed, but I still win even though my preparations were not done.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

22 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

I surround you with silver, shattering your Connections (it works like that trust). 

I steelpush the silver away and shove you into the Elsegate instead.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

23 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I steelpush the silver away and shove you into the Elsegate instead.

I collapse the Elsegate right before I would have passed through it and land on the ground. Angry, I summon a blade and advance at you. 

34 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Yes, I am ambushed, but I still win even though my preparations were not done.

I'll take Bartholomew getting away with the sandwich over losing tic-tac-toe. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

5 hours ago, Clarkmon22 said:

betttttt

I give you enough for the next 5 years, and then realize i'm bananaless. 

then I cry

I cry so much, I create a river, and I drown myself in it. 

then I realize that I don wanna die and I haven't beat silksong even though its been out for 7 hours and 44 minutes, and I come back to life and start grinding.

Jerome and I munch on some bananas. Then, using his super duper awesome super cool amazing the bestest everest magicalist powers, he snaps his fingers and The Sandwich appears in his hand. He happily hands it to me in exchange for another banana.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Jerome trades me the Sandwich for 44 bananas. I kill him afterward anyway.

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

NNOOOOO NOT JEROME

I re-alive him and propose

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I officially marry the two of you.

Edited September 5, 2025 by YouCantHaveMySandwich