The Battle for the Sandwich

[Lunamor she/her]

2 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

The snail accepts the replica sandwich, then flies through the air with the handful of glitter. Amidst all the arguing about Mark Rober, it helps Fat Gus steal the sandwich.

If you understand that reference, you're my favorite.

Is that the squirrel?

I distract Fat Gus with acorns and take back the sandwich.

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

1 minute ago, Lunamor said:

Is that the squirrel?

I distract Fat Gus with acorns and take back the sandwich.

I pay Rick in walnuts  to steal the sandwich.

I believe so.

[Edema Rue she/her]

12 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

Is that the squirrel?

I distract Fat Gus with acorns and take back the sandwich.

Yes  

The snail gets a really tiny engine from Mark Rober and zooms after the sandwich.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

I shoot the tiny engine with the world’s smallest nerf gun, making explode, and take the sandwich while the snail is recovering

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I groan in pain but happily accept the fruit gift basket.

Wait, there's nothing but exotic butter* shaped like fruit in here...

I throw the butter at Sequence and use the basket to steal the sandwich away from Lord Spirit.

 

*surely someone gets it.

Edited March 14, 2024 by Through The Living Glass

[Soulbinder she/her]

I walk back in days later after finally expunging the glittery menace from my eyes, highly embarrassed to have said 'Mark Robert' instead of 'Mark Rober' as intended. I curse autocorrect, myself for not double checking my typing, and Lunar for unleashing the horror that is glitter. 

[Lunamor she/her]

1 minute ago, Soulbinder said:

I walk back in days later after finally expunging the glittery menace from my eyes, highly embarrassed to have said 'Mark Robert' instead of 'Mark Rober' as intended. I curse autocorrect, myself for not double checking my typing, and Lunar for unleashing the horror that is glitter. 

I take advantage of you misspelling my name as Lunar to successfully command you to give me the sandwich out of embarrassment.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Just now, Lunamor said:

I take advantage of you misspelling my name as Lunar to successfully command you to give me the sandwich out of embarrassment.

Screw autocorrect, that's the SECOND TIME!!

and myself for aforementioned reasons 

I comply, apologizing.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I use autocorrect to manipulate all that has been said here to put the sandwich in my hands, then stand inside a speed bubble, constantly swallowing bendalloy to keep it running as people come and go, waiting for the sandwich.

HAHA! You fools didn’t write it in metal, so I can change everything said!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Hmm...

[I scratch some things into a metal plate to distract @WhyEverNot_8 while I steal the sandwich.]

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

“DAMNATION!” I cry as a run after The Living Glass, I draw my replica of Vindication II with custom made entanglement bullets (it’s from one of my DND campaigns, I made aether-based weaponry) and fire. I hit Glass (this name is shorter, you good if I use it?) square in the back, enshrouding them in verdant vines, the. I steal the sandwich and hightail it outta there.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I deploy a small army of chipmunks to bring me the sandwich

Edited March 18, 2024 by PianoSavant

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

27 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

(this name is shorter, you good if I use it?)

Sure! 

Ouch.

I distract the chipmunks with the verdant vines and get away with the sandwich in a helicopter.

[Soulbinder she/her]

I chase after you in the Thanoscopter, readying my rubber chicken launcher for action.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I grab a bucket of water and drown the rubber chickens so they can’t scream. I throw a stove at the helicopter, capturing the sandwich and knocking the helicopter out of the sky. Because I don’t want to kill anyone, I put a trampoline under Soulbinder and then run off carrying the stove with the Sandwich in it.

[Soulbinder she/her]

I backflip off the trampoline, grab the stove midair, and fail to hold on to it because of my momentum, landing in an undignified heap in front of WhyEverNot_8. Getting up, I attempt to negotiate, offering to trade the sandwich for a tray of delicious banana chocolate chip muffins.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Too bad you took too long.

I STEAL THE SANDWICH ONCE AGAIN, AHAHAHA. I also leave some pieces of fruit-shaped butter for you both to enjoy.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I agree to the trade with Soulbinder, with one condition: I don’t have The Sandwich, so I make them a Why Sandwich (if you don’t want to spell out my full name, you can just use Why) then try the fruit-shaped butter. I don’t like butter by itself so I split the remaining butters in half and wrap my portion in a cloth and put it in my pocket for later. I then chase after Glass and attempt to blast the stove out of her hands with a Zephyr blast. I then sneakily put the sandwich in my jacket and run off holding the stove above my head.

(when I say jacket I mean inside the back of my jacket, between it and my shirt.)

Edited March 19, 2024 by WhyEverNot_8
Clarification

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I stop you and steal the sandwich via Dr. Doofenshmirtz's new Sandwich Stealinator before putting it in my much superior trenchcoat.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I Accio the sandwich and fly away on a thestral

[Faerie Braids she/her]

As you ride away from the battle, your thestral steed rounds a cliff edge, and slams suddenly into a massive web. Though you struggle to escape the entrapping filaments, they are much too sticky. In mere moments, a horde of tiny spiders appear whisk the sandwich from your grasp, returning it, once more, to the Seventeenth Swarm.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I grab my SRO (Sandwich Recovery Organization) Standard-Issue Sandwich-Recovery Flamethrower and burn away the web. I grab the sandwich and fly into a building that, inside, has… (drumroll please) a building, and inside that is… another building. This repeats until the building is barely large enough to fit the sandwich. I walk out and hit the secret button that shuffles all the doors inside the building, then run into a cave and hold a duplicate sandwich as if it’s the real thing.

[Lunamor she/her]

I use the rewind button to undo that and take the sandwich before you can get it.

[Soulbinder she/her]

The Time Cops appear and arrest you for unlawful warpage of spacetime. The sandwich is brought before Time Baby as tribute. 

[Lunamor she/her]

I get Bill to sneak the sandwich back to me under his top hat.