The Battle for the Sandwich

[Soulbinder she/her]

The Hail Mary (from Project Hail Mary which is an awesome book you should definitely read) pulls up and demands the sandwich

[Lunamor she/her]

The Rocinante beats it to the punch and takes the sandwich first. 

[WhyEverNot_8 he/him]

I take the Radiant Pillar BC1 from No Man’s Sky and steal the sandwich before opening the Galaxy map and warping to a new system. I leave a message saying “Can’t catch me now!”

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Being an absolutely wonderful gymnast (and also hiding in your freighter), I cartwheel over you and snatch the Sandwich out of your hands, immediately pole-vaulting into my Bosansta Sentinel VI from No Man's Sky, which has a longer range jump drive.

[WhyEverNot_8 he/him]

I grab my multitool and attempt to break into your ship by any means necessary. I need that sandwich. I shoot the cockpit until the shield is down then, blow open the hatch with the plasma launcher and grab the sandwich while my cloaking device is active.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

You may be invisible, but the Sandwich is not! With cat-like reflexes I snatch it back and go hide in an Atlas station node thing (those things are scary so don't go in).

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Atlas and P-Body from portal 2 use portals to follow you and retrieve the sandwich and then return to me and give me the sandwich. I hide at the bottom of Aperture testing center.

[Lunamor she/her]

I use combustible lemons to burn it down and take the sandwich from the ashes.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I throw a rock at you, causing you to drop the sandwich. The rock steals the sandwich and brings it back to me.

[Lunamor she/her]

I wonder why an identical clone of me has appeared, then appeal to our shared interests to get it to bring the sandwich back to me.

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

The clone becomes a spring, and bounces to me, giving me the sandwich, then it disappears.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Jean Valjean uses his bread-related theft experience to steal the sandwich

[Lunamor she/her]

Alexander Hamilton writes many essays about sandwiches that convince him to hand it over.

Edited March 7, 2024 by Lunamor

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

still a kandra i absorb both the papers and the sandwich

[WhyEverNot_8 he/him]

I summon my orchestra ensemble “The Bread Thieves” and we steal the sandwich. (We steal both of RoyalBeeMage’s spikes, then give them back as we run off with the sandwich)

[Soulbinder she/her]

I call my fellow theater kids to arms to retrieve the sandwich!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

My fellow roboticists and I build a robot to stealthily sneak past the theater kids and steal the sandwich! It fights off anyone who tries to steal the sandwich.

[WhyEverNot_8 he/him]

I call my former cult The Band Kids to steal the sandwich, then leave them like I left them after 8th grade, then I keep my lifelong gang The Orchestra to guard it.

[Soulbinder she/her]

I use my years of being a Latin student to summon an eldritch entity to warp the sandwich into my hands

[Lord Spirit he/him]

I use my 3 years of Spanish to hire Dora to find it and then take it and move on since I’m not 4. 

[WhyEverNot_8 he/him]

I also use MY  Latin skills to call you names, then I take the sandwich and cast a perfect Latin spell and stick it in a box that can’t be opened.

[Soulbinder she/her]

4 hours ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

I also use MY  Latin skills to call you names, then I take the sandwich and cast a perfect Latin spell and stick it in a box that can’t be opened.

Furcifer! Fur! Ego tuam valde vitupero, quod tu es perfidus!

[Lunamor she/her]

I smash the box rather than bothering with trying to open it and take back the sandwich.

[One of the Ten Fools he/him]

I throw the broken box at Lunamor, and grab the sandwich.

[Lunamor she/her]

I throw pocket sand in your face and take it back.