The Battle for the Sandwich

[Unintelligenius he/him]

31 minutes ago, Doomslug Doomslug Doomslug said:

...aaaand you drown cuz you can't walk on water

Jerome runs over (cuz he can walk and run on water) and gives me cpr re-lifeing me and I swim to the middle of the ocean with Jerome running beside me.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

I blast Jerome with bullets and he drops into the ocean and gets gobbled up by sharks

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I blast the sharks with bullets and they drop out of the ocean and I grab Jerome re-alive him with a fabrial then continue swimming with the sandwich.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I send a rabid duck after you to bring me the Sandwich.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

The rabid duck bites Vyz on the nose, and Vyz contracts rabies.

[PianoSavant she/her]

The duck apologies and attempts to give Vyz a rabies vaccine. This goes poorly, however, as ducks don’t have fingers, and merely results in Vyz getting stabbed a lot.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

omg poor Vyz...

I fire wildly at Jerome, but a wave crashes into me, and my bullets fly everywhere. Most of them end up hitting Vyz. 

[Vyzkel He/Him]

Don’t worry, I’m getting alllll the action.

I lost my pain receptors a long time ago, I lay on the floor, waiting for the Reaper to take me. Meanwhile, I finally rip my arms out of the staples and eat a slice of pizza.

Edited August 23, 2024 by Vyzkel

[Wierdo he/him]

I bring you more pizza, watching what happens.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I eat the pizza ravenously.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The Pizza named Ravenously screams and dies.

His family sues you.

[Wierdo he/him]

I sit in the corner of the trial, knowing i caused this.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

1 minute ago, Wierdo said:

I sit in the corner of the trial, knowing i caused this.

The Pizza family is omniscient and put you on trial too. 

[Wierdo he/him]

3 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

The Pizza family is omniscient and put you on trial too. 

I plead not guilty, and bring out a piece of paper with grease stains that says "I, Ravenously, allow myself to be eaten alive" 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Just now, Wierdo said:

I plead not guilty, and bring out a piece of paper with grease stains that says "I, Ravenously, allow myself to be eaten alive" 

The prosecuting attorney points out that Ravenously had no hands, and thus could not have written the note.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I call objection, here say.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Ravenously's family pulls out a photograph of Ravenously, authenticated by thirty-seven experts, that shows he has no hands.

[SPECTRE120]

Meanwhile, in my laboratory, I begin construction of a machine that can automatically locate and teleport the Sandwich to me.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I steal the machine and thus acquire the Sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I steal the sandwich and thus acquire the machine.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Whoa.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I remind Vyz that there's still a healing potion sitting 20 feet away.

Y'know,

since he can move now.

[SPECTRE120]

I grab and drink the healing potion and hit Vyz over the head with the empty bottle.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I eat the bottle, and since there were still a few drops in there I get healed. I cry in joy.

[strmblsd he/him]

I ask why your crying and then go sit next to you comforting you