The Battle for the Sandwich

[Lunamor she/her]

I call upon my Alleyverse character Eza to steal the sandwich for me.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I intercept your Alleyverse character with a plate of spiked cookies and steal the sandwich with my D&D character instead.

[Soulbinder she/her]

I call on my character from my unfinished novel draft to snatch the sandwich while I distract your D&D character with some shiny nat 20s.

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I call on my Percy Jackson Roleplay character, Harold, to sprint through and distract you with his impressive speed, and I steal the sandwich.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I polymorph into Telamon (yes I realize that it is similar to Lews Therin Telamon, but I forgot about that when I saw it in NMS and decided it would be a good name), my half-orc warlock who insists on using a giant hammer to smush Harold into the ground cartoon style (like he’s in a hole in the ground) then I grab the sandwich out of the hole and run away.

[strmblsd he/him]

i spike a wolf with feruchemical speed which easily outruns you and swipes the sandwich in its teeth also taking off your hand

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I bind the wolf, which I name Fenris, with an unbreakable rope and take the sandwich, and escape in a zeppelin.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I am inside the zeppelin with a pack of dogs. The dogs have collars allowing them to talk. They swarm you and bring me the sandwich.

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I bribe the dogs with bacon so they bring me the sandwich and imcapitate you for a short time.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

Before they incapacitate me, I cast Animal Friendship, causing them to be my friend rather than yours, bringing me the sandwich.

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I send a group of anti-wolf activists to give me the sandwich, and I parachute down with the sandwich into the world's largest pizza.

[Lunamor she/her]

I successfully cast Divine Intervention to get my patron Wichea, the god of sandwiches, to teleport the sandwich to me.

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I leave the pizza, taking a slice with me, and trade it for the sandwich without your knowledge. Then i break the record for the worlds largest pizza.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I compound speed and snatch the sandwich from you.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I take a throwing knife, attach it to a rope and (carefully, so I don’t stab myself again) swing it around to spear the sandwich, then pull it back to me and hide the sandwich in the hole of a nearby tree.

the sandwich repairs itself

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I just so happen to be climbing said tree and retrieve the sandwich, and leave by riding a submarine in the ground.

[strmblsd he/him]

I follow you and sneeze on the sandwich so you decided to give it to me

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I cough on the sandwich so you hand it over, then I Awaken a rope to wrap around the sandwich and protect it (as in keep it away) from anyone other than me.

Edited April 3, 2024 by WhyEverNot_8
Clarification WOOOO

[Lunamor she/her]

I hire a snake charmer to charm the rope and get it to give the sandwich to me.

[Soulbinder she/her]

I hire a Parselmouth to convince the rope to give me the sandwich instead.

[strmblsd he/him]

I trip and fall onto it crushing then stealing it

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I use my expertise at living to convince you that nobody likes a crushed sandwich, and you give it to me.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I crush you, then take the sandwich, uncrushing it with magic.

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I uncrush myself and crush your house, house and in the confusion, I take the sandwich.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

my OP, inaccurate, canon-breaking alleyverse character appears, laughs, then informs y'all that the sandwich was actually back on the hill where this started this whole time! (as of pg. 35 due to the bad grammar.)

he then takes the fake sandwich that you've been tossing around and eats it, just to prove this fact. then leaps into the soda ocean of TLT.

Edited April 5, 2024 by Just_a_Fan