The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Aren't those images peoples profile pics?

[Devout Pathian]

That’s awesome @I am Witless.

Also just so people know, on this page (excluding this one) there are 14 posts with the word irrelevant no matter how you spell it.

At least Butt was a Venture though.  He liked that last name.

EDIT: pervious page.  I didn’t know it would take me to the next page.

Edited May 11, 2018 by Aurora the Rioter

[Apollyon he/him]

But Shan didn’t.

[Devout Pathian]

So Butt punch Shan.  Why would anyone try to kill his favorite cousin?

[Stormblessed Dolphin he/him]

Suddenly, Butt was struck by a vision, in which he saw a Parshendi emerge from an ocean of tacos.

[Devout Pathian]

Butt wanted to eat those tacos.

[Stormblessed Dolphin he/him]

But the vison continued, and a chasmfiend ate every last taco.

[Zath he/him]

The Parshendi spoke to Butt, distracting him from the taco-eating chasmfiend: "You are the last and best hope for the Cosmere, oh great Butt -- pffft, hahaha, I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with a name like that.  We'll find another great hero for our quest, sorry to bother you!"

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt ignored the parshendi and instead focused on the taco eating chasmfiend.

[Stormblessed Dolphin he/him]

Butt had to get a taco, before they were all gone, and this was his vision, he was in control, so he leaped a hundered feet to snatch a taco before the chasmfiend could eat it.

[Apollyon he/him]

The chasmfiend looked up. “Rawr.” The chasmfiend said unenthusiastically

[Kidpen he/him]

He also killed the chasmfiend.

[Mistspren she/her]

Even though Butt had killed the taco eating chasmfiend, he neglected to consider the chasmfiend eating taco.

A taco swelled in size, unfolding, revealing ground beef and teeth and a cheese and tomato tongue. The taco snapped up the chasmfiend, chewed for a moment, then belched up the gemheart. The belch was legendary, rivaling Butt’s own farts in stench, and Butt found his eyes watering as he hacked and wheezed on the ground. 

When the haze cleared, the taco was gone, and Butt realized something awful.

That had been the last taco.

[Ink he/him]

Butt cried out in rage, then stormed off to find a quesadilla. Because he remebered that tacos upset his stomach, and he didnt want to go down in history because of his name.

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt fell short in noticing that he had gone down in history. Being the second Venture heir and the only person to survive the universe exploding and imploding multiple times, he’d built up quite a reputation.

Oh, and Uncle Brandy is back.

[Rebecca she/her]

5 hours ago, ElephantEarwax said:

Aren't those images peoples profile pics?

Yes. Which I find hilarious. But, uh we need an actual picture of Kaladin Cullblessed in there too. Anyone here a good artist?

Butt was not very happy that Uncle Brandy was back, because all Uncle Brandy did was try to use Butt for his evil plans.

[Devout Pathian]

That’s a good idea Rebecca.  However, alas I’m not a good artist.

Butt ignored his uncle and continued his quest of finding a quesadilla, which he wouldn’t share with Uncle Brandy.

[Archer he/him]

Quesadilla is a pain to spell. I'm going to destroy it. 

Butt found the quesadilla in his pocket. Approaching it from behind with soft footsteps, he sneakily attacked with poison gas! It was silent, but deadly. 

Edited May 11, 2018 by Archer

[Gancho Libre he/him]

The world began to cave in, starting with an intent in the earth made by an acorn falling off a tree.

[Apollyon he/him]

Enter crazed chicken that is screaming “The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!”.

Edited May 11, 2018 by Apollyon

[Devout Pathian]

Butt decided to cook the exotic chicken, yum yum.

[Kidpen he/him]

The chicken was from Roshar.

[Niteshado he/him]

After eating the chicken, Butt decided it was time to get back to work.

[Devout Pathian]

But Butt forgot what his work was.

[Archer he/him]

Math Molly reminded him that his work is force multiplied by distance.