The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Devout Pathian]

Butt decided to eat the Pineapple instead of talking to the strang talking Pineapple.

[Rebecca she/her]

Bob cried because the pineapple had been his friend.

[Devout Pathian]

So he tried to make Butt up-chuck the Pinapple.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

But Butt had missed, and eaten the wrong Pineapple, so the fabulous talking one was still alive.

[Archer he/him]

Alive, but horrified by the raw savagery it had just witnessed. The pineapple cried. 

[Rebecca she/her]

Its tears were a delicious pineapple juice, so Butt caught them in a cup and drank it up.

[Kidpen he/him]

This gave him no powers, but it was delicious. 

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

But it was a little salty.

[Apollyon he/him]

As was the pineapple that shed them.

[Devout Pathian]

Bob fearing that Butt would eat the Pinapple, took the Pinapple back.

[Apollyon he/him]

The pineapple cried out in terror, as the pineapple wanted Butt back. His tears had been tears of joy! Pineapple had found love in Butt! Pineapple rejoiced.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Butt didn't want the pineapple, so he let Bob keep it.

[Apollyon he/him]

The Pineapple realized what Butt wanted and was willing to sacrifice their possible relationship for Butt's happiness. The Pineapple reluctantly returned to Bob.

[Devout Pathian]

“Farewell Butt even though you tried to eat me, I shall always remember you fondly,” said the Pineapple.

[Archer he/him]

Sad, but dramatic music swelled in the background.

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt almost felt a pang of sadness pulse through him. A single tear coursed down his cheek, the music amplifying his emotion tenfold. Butt rushed to the Pineapple, embracing it in a farewell hug to span eternity...

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

And then he realized that Bob was Pushing on his emotions.

[Apollyon he/him]

So Butt burned copper, to make him immune. He found that he felt even stronger without the emotional allomancy. He ignored the pain of forcefully embracing a Pineapple, and continued his doings.

[Devout Pathian]

Butt knew that he needed to move on.  No matter how much it pained him, he had to depart from the Pineapple.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

But he couldn't: he had accidentally hugged the pineapple so hard that it had F fused with him.

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt was now one with the Pineapple. They were bound in a way that is not matrimony, but instead a strange fusion. Butt faintly remembered a certain person called ‘Uncle Brandy’.

[Kidpen he/him]

But he had disappeared one of the last times the universe had exploded.

[Apollyon he/him]

The Universe has exploded? Butt thought. Why, yes it has. It has also imploded a number of times too. Butt realized someone was speaking to him telepathically, and hesitantly answered back in his thoughts. How did the Universe explode? Or implode? What is the Universe?

[Devout Pathian]

It’s just a figment of your imagination, the voice replied.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

So, to console himself, he grabbed and ate the pineapple.

Edited May 8, 2018 by ElephantEarwax