The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Everyone woke up. They had been taking a nap. "Huh? What's happening?" They asked groggily.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Unfortunately for Everyone, they immediately breathed in a sedative that had begun to fill the area. Everyone was knocked out again, and the others began to slow, groggy. 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Except for the Drigger which started to get rather high.

[That1Cellist he/him]

And the Flyrrer which got rather low.

[Edema Rue she/her]

A civilian walked by and took a picture of the scene: A cowering platypus, a hovering Drigger, a Flyrrer digging a hole, 2 sorceresses, Everyone sleeping, and various others holding swords. All in all, the civilian was sure to win the 'most unique photo' contest. 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

The Drigger ate the civilian and Wizard was kicked out of it. The Drigger spliting away from his soul.

[Ranryu she/her]

Noot baked The Cellist into cookies again. The Cellist found himself inside a giant cookie, complete with its own wildlife and functioning society of sentient raisins. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm was terrified of the sentient raisins.

But that was irrelevant.

"I think randomness is returning to the thread," he remarked.

[NameIess]

Subversion summoned a black hole that absorbed all the randomness, then threw it at Rym.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

All plot was reversed back to page 100, where there were no meddling people. Back to the good old ages.

And Butt celebrated!

[NameIess]

But Butt didn't celebrate for long, because he realized that this had killed his sister. So he reversed the reversing, bringing everything back to the current plot.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

So Chance slapped the wheel of time and landed on page 1215.

[NameIess]

Subversion caught the wheel of time and set it back to 2282.

[Ranryu she/her]

But Noot was insistent on baking the Cellist into a cookie. Now the raisins were meat chunks.

Chicken cookies.

[Edema Rue she/her]

With a side of sapient raisins. 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

An army of root cultists randomly appeared.

[NameIess]

Subversion absorbed their power, using it to create a Root monster which attacked Darth Barnacles.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Darth Barnacles cursed and pulled out his lightsaber cutlass. He turned the root monster into root sticks and started serving them to the root cultists with great success.

[NameIess]

Subversion killed all the root cultists and formed their souls into a Soul Root monster.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Barnacles' eyes gleamed darkly, "souls..." he smiled sardonically. "Tell me, semi-narrator, do you fear death?"

[NameIess]

"Why fear something that will never happen? Once I kill all of you, I'll be chosen as Nameless' heir."

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

"That is rather presumptuous to say in TLT, my friend," said Barnacles. "Didn't you kill Valiant? they were going to be Nameless' heir as well. You killed them. Think about it, your life has become in danger as Nameless' heir. As a character viewed as a villain, you'll probably end up dead sometime."

[NameIess]

"The Witherlord has existed for well over a thousand pages, and he's still fine. Villains can live long lives, if they're good enough."

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Barnacles nodded slowly, "living a hated life... what do you truly want, Subversion? What do you want? Why are you doing this?"

[NameIess]

"Because I want to, that's why. Why does anyone want to do anything? Killing Valiant, creating plot twists like that, I enjoy it."