Cosmere! The Musical

[Personification he/him]

This one has minimal changes and minimal OB Spoilers:

"The Stranger" (Sung by Shallan and Hoid to the tune of the song with the same name by Billy Joel)

Spoiler

Shallan Hoid

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and
Show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on

Well we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Would he be so surprised
If he ever saw the stranger
Will I ever let my lover see
The stranger in myself?

Don't be afraid to try again
Everyone goes south
Every now and then
You've done it, why be
Someone else?
You should know by now
They are all yourself

Once I used to believe
That I was the stranger’s master
Then I turned into a woman
That I could not recognize
When I pressed me for a reason
I refused to even answer
It was then I saw the stranger
Look at me right with my own eyes

Well we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Would he be so surprised
If he ever saw the stranger
Will I ever let my lover see
The stranger in myself?

Don't be afraid to try again
Everyone goes south
Every now and then
You've done it, why be
Someone else?
You should know by now
They are all yourself

I may never understand
How the stranger is inspired
But she isn't always evil
And she is not always wrong
Though I drown in good intentions
I will never quench the fire
I'll give in to my desire
When the stranger comes along.

 

[Personification he/him]

Here we have another one with minimal changes:

Zahel's Lament (To the tune of "I am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel)

Spoiler

A winter's day

In the riddens of

The Highstorm,

I am alone,

Gazing from my window to the streets below

I can see the gems begin to glow.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

 

I've built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

That none may penetrate.

I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

 

Don't talk of love,

But I've heard the words before;

It's sleeping in my memory.

I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

 

I have my work

And my swordplay to protect me,

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding out on Roshar, safe within my womb.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

 

And a rock feels no pain,

And an island never cries.

 

[Personification he/him]

Here is another new parody, which I have been thinking about for a long time and am very proud of, however be warned, it contains OB Spoilers:

"Bye, Bye, Tanavast What a Guy" (or "The Day That Honor Died") to the tune of "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie" by Don Mclean

Spoiler

A long long time ago

I can still remember how

My honor used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could fight Herdazians

And maybe win some glory for a while

 

But Tien’s death it made me shiver

To my parents I could not deliver

The news that I’d witnessed it

So instead I reenlisted

 

I can't remember if I cried

When I learned Amaram had lied

But something touched me deep inside

The day that Honor died

So

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Did you write a dying note

And why was it a random quote,

Gavilar why did you go?

Was desolation your true goal?

Can Honor save my mortal soul?

And can you teach me how to act noble?

 

Well, my sanity’s been set adrift

'Cause I saw her burnin' at the rift

I’ve got nothing left to lose

Please, Nightwatcher cure my blues

 

I was a lonely warlord born with skill

With some new shardplate and a drive to kill

But then I learned to hate the Thrill

The day that Honor died

I started drinkin'

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Now, four eons we've been on our own

And crem grows fat on a rolling stone

But, that's not how it used to be

 

When the ardents ruled for the king and queen

And claimed the future could be seen

In a time known later as “Heirocracy”

 

Oh and then one king put his foot down

The Sunmaker put on his crown

Old knowledge was unlearned

All prophecy deterred

 

And while Shallan read a book on art

Eshonai made maps in the park

And the king’s newfound orb glowed dark

The day that Honor died

We were singin'

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Helter skelter in a summer swelter

The bridgeman strung up with no shelter

There was a Highstorm coming fast

 

Suspended in a bead of glass

The gem glowed at the stormwall’s pass

On the roof of barracks that had been soulcast

 

Now the humid air was sweet perfume

While bridgemen sang a happy tune

But something wasn’t right

Oh, the gem held no Stormlight

 

Incredibly the bridgeman healed

His wounds were all so quickly sealeld

Do you recall what was revealed

The day that Honor died?

We started singin'

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Oh, and there we were all in one place

A generation lost in space

With no time left to start again

 

So come on Fleet be nimble, Fleet be quick

Fleet ran over the shin mountains

But, the storm still caught him in the end

 

Oh and as I watched him through the cage

My hands were clenched in fists of rage

No Herald born on Braize

Could beat Wit’s turns of phrase

 

And as the flames climbed high into the night

To light the sacrificial rite

I saw Raise laughing with delight

The day that Honor died

He was singin'

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

If we went back I knew we’d lose

So I asked Jezrien what to choose

But he just smiled and turned away

 

I went there after every war

Where I'd sworn to Honor years before

But the man there said our honor ends today

 

And in the streets the children screamed

The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed

But not a word was spoken

The Heralds all were broken

 

And the three wisest men by far,

Jezrien, Nin, and Ishar

They left Taln to be torn apart

The day that Honor died

And they were singing

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy

Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,

And Radiants were drinking violet and white

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

[Fezzik]

I am honored to give that its first upvote.

[Personification he/him]

12 minutes ago, John203 said:

I am honored to give that its first upvote.

Thank you.

[Zelly]

I'm honored to sing along loudly. 

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Ok, to give credit where credit is due, the idea for this one came from @Okdes's joke on the Sanderson Memes thread (page 96):

On 4/6/2018 at 6:29 AM, Okdes said:

Once, I met a Returned woman who took my breath away. 

After I read that, I had Berlin's "Take my Breath Away" from the top gun soundtrack rolling around in my head. My initial idea was to make a full soundtrack for the movie "Top Sword" starring Nightblood as Maverick and possibly Szeth as Goose and Nale as Iceman.

But in looking more at the lyrics, this is the song that had to be. I humbly present to you, for your possible amusement, Lightsong the Bold singing "Take My Breath Away" (warning this has major spoilers for Warbreaker):

Spoiler

Take My Breath Away (Sung by Lightsong to the tune of the "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin)

Ignoring every motion
in this foolish Tarachin game
In Hall'dren by the ocean,
Immortal yet I have no aim
Turning and Returning
From the life I lived and died
Living in slow motion
'Til the day at last I say

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Watching I keep waiting
Staring at the painted forms
Always hesitating
To become a useful God
Turning and Returning
To the secret trapped inside
Haunted by the notion
That some day I'll have to say

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Through the iron bars I saw you
As Blushweaver bled away
Susebron my king I called you–
You turned to hear me say
Today must be the day
I am unafraid

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

With my final motion
I helped end Blue-finger's game
Peace found in the notion
That the world won't end in flames
Turning and Returning
To some peaceful place beyond
Peace found in the notion
That I turned your way to say

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Here's the Belin video spoilered below (like a time machine back to the 80's but with a lot more atmospheric fog and fighter planes than I remember):

Spoiler

 

 

[Gasper he/him]

Lightsong needs to sing something from Weird Al, I am not sure what but it just fits. Dalinar should sing Safe and Sound from the hunger games. I have not heard a male rendition of it but I think it fits. Just for kicks, but the Kandra need to sing one of the genii songs from Aladdin.  

[Gasper he/him]

Hoid singing Highwayman by Johnny Cash. Shape of You sung by either Blushweaver or an Elantrian 

[Personification he/him]

1 hour ago, Gasper said:

Lightsong needs to sing something from Weird Al, I am not sure what but it just fits. Dalinar should sing Safe and Sound from the hunger games. I have not heard a male rendition of it but I think it fits. Just for kicks, but the Kandra need to sing one of the genii songs from Aladdin.  

Upthread there is an amazing rendition of Friend Like Me sung by Syl.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, Gasper said:

Hoid singing Highwayman by Johnny Cash. Shape of You sung by either Blushweaver or an Elantrian 

It's not Hoid, but here's the first guy to get the drop on Hoid in millennia singing the Highwayman:

How about Lightsong singing "Boring Paradise" to the tune of of Amish paradise, think that would fit the bill.

[Okdes he/him]

Ayy I'm glad my bad joke insipred you!

Edited April 27, 2018 by Okdes

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

2 hours ago, Okdes said:

Ayy I'm glad my bad joke insipred you!

Ok, so this one didn't actually take that long, but it's just the first verse and Chorus.

Here's Lightsong singing "Living in a Boring Paradise" sung to the tune of Amish Paradise (a parody of parody, if someone made a parody of this version that would be one more level of recursion than the universe could withstand, it would be forced to pull in on itself and implode).

Spoiler

Living in a Boring Paradise (sung by Lightsong to the tune of "Amish Paradise"):

As I walk through the valley in the city of color
I take a look at my priest and realize he's my brother
But that's just perfect for an Immortal like me
You know I shun serious things like sobriety

When I wake in the morning I'm describin' my dreams
And Scoot writes them down, those are important it seems — fool
And I've been drinkin' and jokin' so long
Even Mercystar thinks that my mind is gone

I'm God in this land, I'm sarcastic as well
I don't b'lieve in Heaven but it feels like I'm in hell
But if you drink all your wine and I finish mine
Tonight we're going to party and tomorrow we'll feel fine

Been spending our new lives
Living in a Boring Paradise
I look at art, give lame advice
Living in a Boring Paradise
One breath per week's the price
To keep living in this Paradise
I can't wait 'til I die twice
Then I'll leave this Boring Paradise.

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Okdes he/him]

Odium singing a parody of "Scahdenfreude" with Ambition.

 

[TheDwarfyOne]

Moash /\

[Proud Darkeyes she/her]

Someone had a Warbreaker musical idea on Tumblr, and it's along the lines of A Very Potter Musical: https://lightweaver-in-shadesmar.tumblr.com/post/174512919462/i-know-we-all-want-cosmere-movies-but-have-we

It's hilarious!!

[Personification he/him]

I have a weird question. Does Kelsier ever end up on any currency at any point as far as we know? I am trying to make a parody of the prologue to Hamilton, and I want to put it in to replace "Ten dollar founding father", but the coppermind is strangely lacking on info about any Mistborn currency, despite the fact that we actually have official coin art for both era 1 and era 2 clips and boxings. I know that he is not on those, but from Wax and Wayne I also know that the have many more denominations, and they even have paper money, so more information would be nice.

[Herowannabe he/him]

9 hours ago, Personification said:

I have a weird question. Does Kelsier ever end up on any currency at any point as far as we know? I am trying to make a parody of the prologue to Hamilton, and I want to put it in to replace "Ten dollar founding father", but the coppermind is strangely lacking on info about any Mistborn currency, despite the fact that we actually have official coin art for both era 1 and era 2 clips and boxings. I know that he is not on those, but from Wax and Wayne I also know that the have many more denominations, and they even have paper money, so more information would be nice.

Well you’ve read Bands of Mourning haven’t you? Because...

Spoiler

His one-eyed/one-spiked face is on the coin/coppermind that Hoid gives to Wax

 

[Personification he/him]

@Herowannabe, yes, but that isn't actually recognized currency. I was hoping for an amount given in boxings or clips, and I would be shocked if he wasn't on some of the money.

[Emily she/her]

On 22/01/2018 at 10:49 AM, Personification said:

In response to this (I know how old this is, but better late than never) as well as @Tesh's enthusiasm in response to it, I present:

"Highstorm" (As sung by Kaladin to the tune of "Hurricane" from Hamilton) WoK spoilers:

  Hide contents

[Kaladin:]
In the riddens of a highstorm
There is quiet
For just a moment
A pale grey sky

When I was strung up in a highstorm
For letting the army down
I didn't drown
I couldn't seem to die

I fought my way out
Fought through all of the wind and sleet
I fought my way out
I looked up and bridge four had its eyes on me

They never let me down
They kept training
They collected sap without me
Raised enough for me to buy Rock a razor
blade and a mirror they found…

I fought my way out of Damnation
I fought my way to manumission
I was louder than the voidbringers songs
I fought for honor and I forged a Nahel bond
I fought for Highprince Kholin and defended him well
And in the face of ignorance and resistance
I fought my bridge crew’s spirits into existence
And when my prayers to God were met with indifference
I picked up a spear, I fought for my deliverance

In the riddens of a highstorm
There is quiet
For just a moment
A pale grey sky

I was young when my brother died
He was holding me
He got stabbed and he was holding me
I couldn't seem to die

[Moash:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…

[Kaladin:]
I'll fight my way out…

[Moash and Ensemble:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…

[Kaladin:]
Fight enemies down, far as I can see…

[Moash and Ensemble:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait… (History has its eyes on you)

[Kaladin:]
I'll fight my way out…

 

I can imagine this being sung straight after 

Spoiler

In WoR when they fight the duel and Kal plans on challenging Amaram

Also maybe “Alethcar has its eyes on you” as that was the main conflict; he’s a darkeyes in a high position. 

Edited July 5, 2018 by Emily

[ScarletSabre he/him]

For some reason (Probably rewatching the Cinema Snob episode on Shock Treatment), the chorus of  "You need a little, oooooh, shock treatment" has now been replaced in my head with "You need a little, gooold compounding!" xD

[kuiinteth of isaana he/him]

On 3/2/2017 at 0:47 PM, Nashan’Elin said:

Nah, let's have Kaladin sing it after the scene at Honor Chasm. (I don't know, the thought of Kaladin singing Let it Go is really funny to me)

Also, "Let the storm rage on" is totally Kal

done...  

 

 

[Silva]

I didn’t go through this whole thread, so forgive me if someone already said this one.

Kaladin sings Make a man out of you (or whatever that song from Mulan is called )

[StrikerEZ he/him]

The meeting in TFE where we're introduced to all of the crew members would go really well as a parody of Aaron Burr, Sir from Hamilton.

[Zath he/him]

3 hours ago, Silva said:

I didn’t go through this whole thread, so forgive me if someone already said this one.

Kaladin sings Make a man out of you (or whatever that song from Mulan is called )

Here it is: