Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Briar King]

Grr so far all 3 teams of 3 Playoff games I wanted to win haven't... Now I'm hoping for a Redskin win so Cardinals can then spank them next week. I'm sure Packers will beat Redskins though putting me at 0-4.

Ed well of course I was right...

Edited January 11, 2016 by Briar King

[Mistrunner]

I'm trying to finish this essay but it really isn't working and I just started to rewrite it and I just realized I'm not addressing the theme I chose to respond to exactly, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore

 

It's 12:42 AM

 

This thing is due probably before school starts, which is in about 7.5 hours

 

I am not good at essays

 

Blegh

 

 

Aaaaaand now Google Docs is down and I can't do a freakin' thing.   Hellooo, getting up even earlier in the morning.

Edited January 11, 2016 by Mistrunner

[Pestis the Spider]

So, I just realised that I reached the level at which I am scared to go out of my room if my flatmate is in the flat. Well, if he's closed in his room then I can quickly sneak in and out while praying that he doesn't notice me. And my flatmate is perfectly nice guy that is easy to talk to. I just don't like him, because his attitude is too positive, so it's probably fake. 

 

I am also afraid to check my uni timetable and generally go to uni. Today during the lecture I almost started crying when they mentioned that we should make sure our handwriting is readable. I am so absoulutely sure I failed my last exams because of my terrible handwriting. I don't have results yet, but now I'm totally sure they're not going to be positive and that I completely destroyed my life. I also covered my ears and also almost started crying when some students behind me started to talk about applications for summer placements. I also should apply. However I'm avoidind applying (and that itself makes me really uncomfortable), because I'm scared that my application will be so bad that my potential employer will put my name on Blacklist of "People so idiotic that we should never ever employ". People tend to tell me that such blacklists don't exist, but I'm pretty concerned that there is a possibility that they might exist. Well.

 

So basically I realised that I have some anxiety issues here... That is so much fun. 

[Delightful]

You're seeing someone about it, right?

Anxiety sucks. But it isn't you. It's messed up brain chemicals making you think things that aren't true and making you always feel like you're running for your life. Try breathing exercises. Remember there are people that love you. If you can, leave your roommate a note explaining that you have anxiety and he can help you with it rather than being a source of anxiety.

This sounds disconnected, but do what you can to eat and exercise properly. Exercise endorphins help.

And if you're not seeing a professional, see a professional. Preferably a psychiatrist who can refer you medicine if necessary.

*hugs*

Hang in there. Get help. It gets better, I promise.

[Stormgate]

What Delightful said. I don't have any information on anxiety, but I do think that the reactions you describe are not normal. I recommend you get help.

[maxal]

I was all set to start working out today.

 

Get downstairs, try to fire up the elliptical, can't.  Realize that it's not plugged in.  Further realize that its power adapter is probably in a box somewhere, unlabeled.  Machine doesn't have the power specs printed on the side, so we can't just plug anything into it.

 

Ordered new power adapter.  Will be here Tuesday.

 

*sulk*

 

Faith 

[Kaymyth]

Faith 

 

...the vampire slayer? 

[Voidus]

I've long struggled with anxiety issues, some of them quite similar (Notably my handwriting and a desire to not apply for a job in case I get blacklisted)

Techniques I've found helpful are mainly dealing with the physical side effects first, once you feel more relaxed it's an awful lot easier to get your mind to do the things it's supposed to.

 

So I'd definitely recommend breathing exercises, for me I tend to hyperventilate which is particularly problematic because one of my anxiety triggers is feeling like I'm not getting air so it sort of cycles out of control. Also mindfullness exercises, whenever you find yourself dwelling on things you shouldn't, try to divert your attention to something sensory, for me it tends to be tactile, focus on the texture of your shirt or the feel of your seat, even the sensation of gravity on your body, but you might work better with something visual like isolating the differences in shades of color on a wall or analyzing shadows.

Hope this helps.

[Pestis the Spider]

EDIT: Long post with ridiculous ranting. You don't need to read it, if you don't want to. Seriously. I'm just talkative. 

 

You're seeing someone about it, right?

Anxiety sucks. But it isn't you. It's messed up brain chemicals making you think things that aren't true and making you always feel like you're running for your life. Try breathing exercises. Remember there are people that love you. If you can, leave your roommate a note explaining that you have anxiety and he can help you with it rather than being a source of anxiety.

This sounds disconnected, but do what you can to eat and exercise properly. Exercise endorphins help.
And if you're not seeing a professional, see a professional. Preferably a psychiatrist who can refer you medicine if necessary.

*hugs*

Hang in there. Get help. It gets better, I promise.

Yeah, I'm seeing someone about it. But I just started to be honest, and it just go worse since I last saw someone about it. I got a referral to someone (not about exactly this issue, but similar one), but the appointment letter still hasn't arrived. When I see my GP next time, I'm going to ask her about this letter. I also did see the psychologist provided by university about some the other (but related) issue, but that was just before Christmas, and so I haven't seen him again yet (because of holidays at uni). My GP also totally wanted me to try antidepressants, and even prescribed them to me (GP's can do that in UK). But I never took them, because I'm worried that I am simply exaggerating because I am lazy and weak-willed. And I think that taking unnecessary meds would just mess with my mind. I think I am worried about it, because GPs in Poland (when I'm from) generally don't prescribe antidepressants, so I am not sure if I can trust a British GP to do that either. Maybe if I were to talk with a specialist about it... 

 

Well, at least my GP seems nice to talk about my worries (for about 10-15 mins, because that's the length of the appointment but that's better than nothing), but I missed my last appointment with her, because I was worried that I'm exaggerating... well, you get it. I'm kind of worried that they're all going to say I'm a hypochondriac. Well, my parents already say I am hypochondriac, but my parents are stupid (because they say that having a cold while noone else has and informing them about it is hypochondriac), so I just don't talk to them about my anxiety and co. to avoid listening to their stupidity. 

 

And I tried to do exercise recently but I quickly started to skip it, because I always feel guilty that I'm exercising instead of studying. It's not like I study all the time, really, it's just I constantly feel guilty about not studying. I feel lazy. But that's really nothing new for me. 

 

I don't have a roomate fortunately. I used to have one roommate 2 years ago. She was really nice, and her friends were nice. Couldn't stand her in a long-term at all. I really need a space to myself. But I can't talk to my flatmate, because he would react with his positive attitude which I can't take. I'm pretty sure he considers me ridiculous and a failure deep down. And he also happens to be successful in areas I'm not (like applications...), so he kind of reminds me of my anxiety. I don't like it. And I don't want to bother him with notes, he's not my friend or anything. 

 

And to be honest I just think that my life somewhere took the ridiculous turn. I always had this anxiety issues, trust issues, control issues, etc. but when I moved out from my family house I thought they all went away. But now they're back and even worse. I don't know how that works. 

 

What's more I actually started to suspect I might have ADHD (for various reasons, it's too late now to list them), so I went to GP and student counselling service about it. Student counselling service sent me to uni psychologist (guy apparently specialises in autism and similar stuff, as we have some students with this problem here). The uni psychologists took a great interest in my (total lack of) social life, and said that he thinks that it is quite probable that I actually have Asperger's with some ADHD symptoms (he also told me that my father sounds like an Aspie). I haven't even given my social life any serious thought in years, as it died when I was 9 and even before that it was nothing spectacular). I'm perfectly aware that I am "afraid of people" and "socially uncapable" and came to the terms with it. It just happened to me, it's not like I could do anything about it. And now (12 years after my social life died for good) I am told that it may actually be part of an issue. Even suggestions like that make my life weird. I'm not sure I find it possible. And I still find the "I'm just exaggerating, because I'm lazy" hypothesis quite possible. 

 

 

I've long struggled with anxiety issues, some of them quite similar (Notably my handwriting and a desire to not apply for a job in case I get blacklisted)

Techniques I've found helpful are mainly dealing with the physical side effects first, once you feel more relaxed it's an awful lot easier to get your mind to do the things it's supposed to.

 

So I'd definitely recommend breathing exercises, for me I tend to hyperventilate which is particularly problematic because one of my anxiety triggers is feeling like I'm not getting air so it sort of cycles out of control. Also mindfullness exercises, whenever you find yourself dwelling on things you shouldn't, try to divert your attention to something sensory, for me it tends to be tactile, focus on the texture of your shirt or the feel of your seat, even the sensation of gravity on your body, but you might work better with something visual like isolating the differences in shades of color on a wall or analyzing shadows.

Hope this helps.

To be honest I don't always have anxiety problems with my handwriting. So far I didn't fail because of it, so it was fine. But this time I'm seriously worried. I think I paid much less attention while writing my exams to the way my handwriting than usually. 

 

And thank god I don't hyperventilate because of my general anxiety issues. Mostly psychological issues with some feeling sick and dry mouth is what I usually get. And I obviously bite all my nails. But that always happened. I do hyperventilate when I get a panic attack, but since I moved away from my parents I don't get them that often. I only got 3 in last 6 months, and they were all caused by my stupid parents. Thank god I no longer live with my parents.

 

To everyone: Sorry for constantly complaining about my imagined problems here. And I do know that I totally sound like I don't want to help myself. I just find everything harder because of my imagined problems growing, so I got more whiny. Sorry for that. I just really don't think I have anyone I could possibly talk to about this stuff. And the anonymity of internet put's me a little at ease, and everyone here always says nice things, so I started to really like this thread. I do apologise for using you (by making you read all my ridiculous and long ranting) to make myself feel a little better. Sorry. 

Edited January 12, 2016 by Pestis the Spider

[+Slowswift]

 

To everyone: Sorry for constantly complaining about my imagined problems here. And I do know that I totally sound like I don't want to help myself. I just find everything harder because of my imagined problems growing, so I got more whiny. Sorry for that. I just really don't think I have anyone I could possibly talk to about this stuff. And the anonymity of internet put's me a little at ease, and everyone here always says nice things, so I started to really like this thread. I do apologise for using you (by making you read all my ridiculous and long ranting) to make myself feel a little better. Sorry. 

 

You should never have to apologize about talking to willing, sympathetic people about your feelings. We're here for you.

[Voidus]

Doubting yourself like that is one of the biggest signs that it's not just laziness, I did the same thing (and still do) I have to stop by my GP every now and again to get a new script for opioid pain medications in addition to anxiety issues and every single time I go I just know that the doctor will think I'm making it up and prevent me from ever seeing a doctor again. And every single time I'm proven wrong because doctors tend to be doctors because they want to help people, not accuse them.

In terms of being diagnosed as an aspie/having ADHD, I wouldn't worry about it much, they're just labels for reaching certain points on certain spectrums, we're all on there somewhere and whether you are or not it's not going to change anything about you. All that will change is you might be able to get more specific help.

And don't fret about sharing stuff here either, that's what the thread is for after all.

[Stormgate]

Stop that. Stop saying you have imagined problems. From what I've seen, what you are talking about is not normal. You need help, you aren't a weakling or wimp for getting it. This place is an okay place to vent, but don't apologize because of your 'imagined' problems. I can understand your hesitation, but normal people have no problem with having their flatmates know they come and go. They also don't worry about having such a terrible application that they get blacklisted. You have issues that need attention. If you are making it up, eventually some expert along the way will spot it.

Basically, it's okay to have issues.

Ninja'd by two people. Wow.

Edited January 12, 2016 by Stormgate

[Delightful]

YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

YOU ARE NOT LAZY.

YOU ARE NOT WEAK-WILLED.

YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT UP.

You have serious mental health problems. Allow yourself to acknowledge that, then deal with it.

Tell the guilty feelings to bugger off because you need your health more than grades. And same for feeling bad about complaining - you need help and are reaching out for it. You are welcome here and we will always do our best to help you here no matter what.

And if your GP has prescribed anti-depressants, for G-D's sake and for your own, take some. . Drugs work wonders. I promise. Your dr is a professional and has prescribed them for a reason.

We're here for you. Rearrange your mind, make health top priority, and then go about dealing with it.

(I can't speak to ADHD or Aspergers because I don't know much about either, I do know anxiety. )

[Briar King]

@Petis you shouldn't take what I'm typing as a swipe at you.

Your the type of person from the post you post that in another life would make me go be a shrink. I'd love to see what's making your brain different from mine. Its chemical and hereditary probably but why is it firing in this weird way? I'd love to know if I could start all over in life. My bnlaw had issues and so does my sister but they were completely fine 10 yrs ago so what happened in their heads?

[kaellok]

 However I'm avoidind applying (and that itself makes me really uncomfortable), because I'm scared that my application will be so bad that my potential employer will put my name on Blacklist of "People so idiotic that we should never ever employ". People tend to tell me that such blacklists don't exist, but I'm pretty concerned that there is a possibility that they might exist. Well.

I know for a fact that my company doesn't have anything like this, and neither do any of the vendors we use that help with recruiting.  I have seen the same person make it all the way to interview stage at least three separate times, with a resume that was faked/claiming skills and experience that they patently didn't have.  

 

The recruiting teams simply don't have enough time or bandwidth to keep track of things like that.  Especially since this same guy got the job on his 4th try, after he'd spent a year focusing on what we needed.  I've even been with companies that hired people back that got fired for gross incompetence.  Unless you literally and directly cost the company money, they're not going to take the time to keep up with a ban list.  There's too much chance that later in life you'll be exactly the kind of worker they're looking to exploit for their own gain (ie, have you work for them so that they make more money.)

 

Worst case scenario, change your resume up a bit before the next time you send it in.  They'll likely never know the difference

 

 

 

To everyone: Sorry for constantly complaining about my imagined problems here. And I do know that I totally sound like I don't want to help myself. I just find everything harder because of my imagined problems growing, so I got more whiny. Sorry for that. I just really don't think I have anyone I could possibly talk to about this stuff. And the anonymity of internet put's me a little at ease, and everyone here always says nice things, so I started to really like this thread. I do apologise for using you (by making you read all my ridiculous and long ranting) to make myself feel a little better. Sorry. 

 

Read again what Slowswift, Voidus, Stormgate, and Delightful wrote.  

 

Having mental health issues doesn't make them imagined or made up.  And even if you were imagining them or whatever, that would still be something that should be taken care of by getting the help you need/deserve.  If posting here helps, then do it.  And don't feel bad about it, either.  It's storming hard to talk about anything that makes us seem less than invulnerable perfection, and the fact that you have taken steps to recognize this and help deal with it should only be encouraged.  

 

My family has a history of...problems; as a minor example, I hated my brother with every fiber of my being for many, many years because he was a terrible person.  With therapy and the right meds, he actually realizes that other people are really people, too, and should be treated as such.  My older sister finally went to see a specialist for help when she realized that it had been over a decade since she'd last been happy; and now, with the meds she's on, she can function and feel more like herself (her words) again.  

 

I've seen first-hand the multiple ways that untreated mental illness can ravage and destroy lives, but I've also seen it turn around and those lives be made whole again.  If me reading your so-called rants and posts helps in any way, I'd do it a hundred times.  Getting help is hard enough with a support network on your side; on your own it's nearly impossible. That's why I say you're a hero for recognizing that you need help, taking those first, terribly frightening steps of seeking it.  What else do heroes do, other than take on seemingly impossible tasks, sometimes with friends and sometimes alone? 

 

tl;dr: I'll always offer any help or encouragement I can to those who make that trek.  

[Kaymyth]

To everyone: Sorry for constantly complaining about my imagined problems here. And I do know that I totally sound like I don't want to help myself. I just find everything harder because of my imagined problems growing, so I got more whiny. Sorry for that. I just really don't think I have anyone I could possibly talk to about this stuff. And the anonymity of internet put's me a little at ease, and everyone here always says nice things, so I started to really like this thread. I do apologise for using you (by making you read all my ridiculous and long ranting) to make myself feel a little better. Sorry. 

 

 

Delightful couldn't have put it better.  What's going on in your physical brain is no less real than the heart condition that means my father-in-law needs a pacemaker.  There is nothing wrong with needing help.  You are not a failure because of it, and you will get through it. 

 

YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

YOU ARE NOT LAZY.

YOU ARE NOT WEAK-WILLED.

YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT UP.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Pestis, I can direct you to some Tumblrs if you need validation. Your problems are not imaginary. They are not stupid. They might be in your head, but like Dumbledore told Harry, "Of course it's happening in your head, but why on earth should that mean it isn't real?"

[Orlion Blight]

Besides Pestis, unloading problems that are troubling you is explicitly what this thread is for! If anyone says otherwise, we'll beat them up and take their milk money!

Edited January 12, 2016 by Rime of the Ancient Orlion

[Stormgate]

Besides Pestis, unloading problems that are troubling you is explicitly what this threat is for! If anyone says otherwise, we'll beat them up and take their milk money!

That typo was interestingly ironic.

[Orlion Blight]

That typo was interestingly ironic.

Have I mentioned how much I hate auto correct? Thanks for the catch!

[skaa]

During my New Year's Eve visit to my parents' house, a neighbor's puppy bit my leg. After seeing that there was no bleeding (my jeans wasn't even damaged) nor any visible scratches, and after cleaning the area up with soap and water and then applying iodine and alcohol (didn't even sting), I thought no more about it. It was the holidays, after all, and I felt it was too much of a hassle to get rabies shots.

 

Fast forward to last Sunday. I just came back from an overnight beach party hosted by my client, when I suddenly felt dizzy and weak. My first reaction was that I might have had a wee bit too much whiskey during the party. Then suddenly, and perhaps not very rationally, I remembered that damnation dog. The feeling of dread that came to me then was so strong that I immediately got a glass of water just to see if hydrophobia has set in. No hydrophobia. I drank two glasses just to make sure, and that brought some temporary relief.

 

Then I did something else that may or may not have been very wise. I read the Wikipedia article on rabies. Fever... I did feel kinda warm...check. Weakness, check. Tingling sensation in affected area... maybe, or was I imagining things? As is often the case when self-diagnosing via the Internet, I ended up feeling like my death was imminent. I drank another glass of water. But no, hydrophobia only happens at the final stage of the disease, when it's already too late to save the patient from a horrible, painful end.

 

I drank another glass of water.

 

Part of me was still pretty sure it was just the alcohol, so I spent the whole Monday just resting in my room. I called my parents asking if the puppy that bit me was still alive, and they said it still was and that the owner already put it in a cage. Alas, the anxiety did not disappear. By this morning (Tuesday, Philippine time) I was already half convinced that I could feel the lyssaviruses traveling from my lower left leg up towards the direction of their ultimate target: my brain.

 

So I finally went to the hospital, waited impatiently for my name to be called, fearing the doctor will say I'm too late and that I have hours left to live. At the same time, a part of me was still skeptical, and was worried I'm about to undergo very expensive treatment for nothing. But I knew I won't stop thinking about the possibility until I get the shots, so I went through with it.

 

To make matters worse, I now have to deal with coworkers who seem to be implying that I did weird things while totally drunk during the party. There's a couple of hours' worth of alcohol-induced gap in my memory of that night (the first time I've experienced that phenomenon), and my coworkers won't even tell me exactly what I did. Their cryptic hints have been bugging me all afternoon.

 

I now hate alcohol. And puppies. I might be exaggerating a bit.

Edited January 12, 2016 by skaa

[Pestis the Spider]

@skaa, isn't it obligatory in your country to vaccinate puppies against rabies? I don't know where you live, and what is the law there, but for example in Poland it is obligatory, so most people do vaccinate their dogs.

 

And also I really don't envy you. There was a few times I got scared after reading internet (because internet always seriously tries to convince me that I have a cancer, so annoying), and I know it's not a nice feeling. And to add to that rabies shots which are said to be seriously unpleasant and my needle phobia... I just feel the sense of dread even just after reading your post. Brrr, needles. Horrible.  

 

EDIT: I did it again. Seriously long post. You don't have to read it. 

 

You should never have to apologize about talking to willing, sympathetic people about your feelings. We're here for you.

Yeah, I kind of understand. But then I have this way of thinking that I people mean the bad thing they say, but don't mean the good things they say. So I'm kind of convinced that at least some here are secretly annoyed with me for complaining. Maybe that is not true, I don't know. And I don't mean to offend anyone. Just my way of thinking is kind of negative, I guess, so I wrote that apology earlier so that secretly annoyed people are maybe slightly less annoyed...

 

In terms of being diagnosed as an aspie/having ADHD, I wouldn't worry about it much, they're just labels for reaching certain points on certain spectrums, we're all on there somewhere and whether you are or not it's not going to change anything about you. All that will change is you might be able to get more specific help.

Oh, I know that. I mean, these are all thing one is born with, so if they are there, there had to be there all along. So nothing changes with the label. It's just the psychologist made me think about things I never thought about, because they just always were the way they are now. And it's a little weird to suddenly start thinking about them. O.o

 

a) YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

b ) YOU ARE NOT LAZY.

c) YOU ARE NOT WEAK-WILLED.

d) YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT UP.

 

(a)-d) added by me)

 

a) Oh, I know I'm not. I just said that I'm worried that the doctor will think I am. Also I said that my parent thinks I am hypochondriac, but it's not connected to my mental health (I don't talk to them about it). It's just I tend to get cold during most stupid of times (while noone else in the family has a cold), and my colds are always really bad, and my parents think that makes me hypochondriac. It only shows that they're stupid and they don't know what "hypochondriac" actually means, so I don't bother with them too much. 

 

b ) But I am. O.o

 

c) Maybe I am or maybe I'm not. Well, I was raised in the family in which general opinion is that "mental health issue" is just a fancy name for lack of will and looking for excuses. I know it's stupid way of thinking, I am aware how stupid is it. But it's still a little hard to go against that thought. 

 

d) Oh, I'm not saying I'm making it up. I totally think that my problems are real. But I think that they might be much smaller in reality than I think, meaning that I exaggerate them. Well, my parents always told me that I exaggerate my problems (but my parents are stupid, so I tend not to listen to them anymore). But then I told my student counsellor (she met me to determine if it's worth testing me for ADD so it's a little separate issue, so I don't blame her that much) that I've got some really bad marks from my assessment last semester. She asked me what mark I got. So I told her that I got a higher C. So she said "Oh, so it's not that bad that you're failing, right?". Well, I think it's really bad, and no one will ever want to employ me because of that, but I think she might have been suggesting that I do exaggerate a little. At least it sounded like it. Or at least to me.

 

I've seen first-hand the multiple ways that untreated mental illness can ravage and destroy lives, but I've also seen it turn around and those lives be made whole again.

The fun thing is that I am not exactly sure what the "life made whole again" even feels like. I mean, I'm slightly over 20. I had anxiety issues for at least 12 years. Trust issues even longer. Social issues... eh, I don't know for how long. Apparently I liked to play with other kids and talk on the phone when I was in kindergarten (which is one of the reasons I think I probably don't have Asperger's. Need to tell that to my psychologist), but then I suddenly started to be afraid of people and started to hate phones. I also remember like 6 years of something  I just call depression to make it easier (but I'm not sure, as I never saw a doctor about it). The only time I remember that I was seriously happy was the first semester of my uni 2 years ago. But was that "whole life"? It's not like all my issues were not there. Because they totally were there. But the new uni was exciting and my (stupid) parents were finally far away from me, so I guess that's what made me more happy. Now I'm back to my miserable self, and my parents say it's because I'm bored (Because life is boring. That's why I watch and read so much fantasy), because uni is not exciting anymore and I don't do anything fun. I can see the reasoning behind this statement, but solving my boredom only makes my mood better, but doesn't suddenly give me best grades and tons of best friends. So I don't think that my boredom is the main problem here. 

 

EDIT2: Almost forgot. Thanks everyone! Have some upvotes!

Edited January 12, 2016 by Pestis the Spider

[Claincy]

c) Maybe I am or maybe I'm not. Well, I was raised in the family in which general opinion is that "mental health issue" is just a fancy name for lack of will and looking for excuses. I know it's stupid way of thinking, I am aware how stupid is it. But it's still a little hard to go against that thought. 

 

d) Oh, I'm not saying I'm making it up. I totally think that my problems are real. But I think that they might be much smaller in reality than I think, meaning that I exaggerate them. Well, my parents always told me that I exaggerate my problems (but my parents are stupid, so I tend not to listen to them anymore). But then I told my student counsellor (she met me to determine if it's worth testing me for ADD so it's a little separate issue, so I don't blame her that much) that I've got some really bad marks from my assessment last semester. She asked me what mark I got. So I told her that I got a higher C. So she said "Oh, so it's not that bad that you're failing, right?". Well, I think it's really bad, and no one will ever want to employ me because of that, but I think she might have been suggesting that I do exaggerate a little. At least it sounded like it. Or at least to me.

 

EDIT: Just a quick note to make sure this is clear: I have not spoken to a professional psychologist about any of this (though I probably should have at some point) and all the advice and thoughts I have to offer are based on my own experience, not any professional knowledge.

 

Others have already said most of what I have to say but I would like to share my thoughts on this bit. But first for a bit of context I'll briefly mention a little about myself so you know where I'm coming from I have fairly severe social anxiety, not as bad as some people but pretty bad and it used to be worse. I also used to have more general anxiety (though to a significantly lesser degree) but I've largely squashed that. I have also had some relatively mild depression in the past and still have days every now and then where I lapse into it a bit.

 

I've asked myself the same questions in the past as you are, wondering if I was just weak and pathetic for struggling as I did/do. I believe that I have a very good understanding of myself now, I think I know where most of my problems come from and I understand my underlying motives and feelings quite well. But of course that wasn't always the case. I have a pretty good idea of the events that caused my social anxiety which is, I think, a good thing. But at one point it just added the question of if I was weak for letting what to another person might have been a number of relatively minor events have such a major negative impact on my mental health.

 

The conclusion I eventually came to was that it doesn't matter if other people find things I struggle with easy or wouldn't have been effected like I was by certain events. That isn't a matter of being weak/strong it's a product of your own experiences and brain chemistry. Whatever it may be to other people it is a real issue for you and your strength lies in how you react to it. Struggling with something or being afraid of something doesn't make you weak or strong but persevering against that struggle does. That you are reaching out for professional help and openly talking about what you struggle with shows true strength of character.

 

Have you heard of a book called "Rowan of Rin" by Emily Rodda? It's a children's book but of all the books I've read it is still the one that springs to mind when I think about true courage and strength. It isn't very long and it's well worth a read if you haven't read it before.

 

I have no idea if this is a good way of dealing with anxiety or if it could help you at all but instead of avoiding, fighting or ignoring that pessimistic voice in my head I sometimes stop and really think about what would happen if what I'm getting anxiety about did happen and I take it far enough that even with my anxiety I emotionally think it's ridiculous. This can accomplish two things:

1) Sometimes it makes me, not so much realise as I already was logically aware of it, but emotionally understand more that what my anxiety was telling me was stupid.

2) Sometimes I can look at that worst case scenario, consider it, and realise that I could survive that. Life would go on and most of the time it wouldn't actually seriously harm any of the things I really care about.

It doesn't stop the anxiety and I don't know if it's a good method but it does sometimes make it easier to deal with. I find it mostly helps in the lead up to something when I'm trying to convince myself to go. I personally find that at least 80-90% of the time I have significantly less anxiety once I'm in the moment than in the lead up to it.

Edited January 12, 2016 by lord Claincy Ffnord

[Left]

I got my braces tightened this morning. They really hurt today. I'm having a really hard time not cussing out the world.

[skaa]

@skaa, isn't it obligatory in your country to vaccinate puppies against rabies? I don't know where you live, and what is the law there, but for example in Poland it is obligatory, so most people do vaccinate their dogs.

And also I really don't envy you. There was a few times I got scared after reading internet (because internet always seriously tries to convince me that I have a cancer, so annoying), and I know it's not a nice feeling. And to add to that rabies shots which are said to be seriously unpleasant and my needle phobia... I just feel the sense of dread even just after reading your post. Brrr, needles. Horrible.

Here's a brief summary of the rabies situation in the Philippines. I've never heard of anyone here getting fined or imprisoned for not vaccinating their dogs. People are simply encouraged to get shots within 24 hours of getting bitten by any animal, even your own pet. I got bitten days ago and only went for treatment today, but the doctor didn't seem worried, so I guess that's good. I don't have any fear of needles, thankfully, so today's injections weren't much of a problem. I also don't mind the series of shots I need to take over the next few weeks (unless the puppy survives by next week, because that would mean it didn't have rabies after all).

There's one thing that can be connected to this thread's discussion on mental health issues. The doctor reminded me that being overly anxious about disease could indicate psychological problems. Unfortunately, psychiatric services are *not* affordable here and are usually not covered by health insurance, so I don't intend to see a shrink any time soon. I'll just have to learn to control my anxiety by myself.

Edited January 12, 2016 by skaa