Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

29 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

Archivist please don't diminish your pain. It is a huge deal. Things like this can be difficult. To air it out to someone else can be incredibly hard. To be so vulnerable is something that I have struggled with for so many years. Even now there are things that I have never admitted to the one that I love most. All that I can really say is that we are here for you if you ever want to talk as I have said my DM's are always open because in the end that first step can be like walking over the edge of an endless chasm where you know not whether there will be a net to catch you. Please accept a poem that I hope will bring even the slightest measure of light.

To Receive
Warmth spreads its vast wings.
Animation casts off sleep.
Dawn's gift delivered.

Thanks.

I've written some poetry about it myself in SUs, actually. It really can help sometimes.

3 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

Hey, Archie? First off, don’t do that—saying it’s not a big deal. Panic attacks are just as important as nervous meltdowns and Breathless Poems and depression. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It seems you’re in your own one-way, soundproof glass box right now—or maybe we’re in the same one, and we just have to figure out how to break out together. Just know that we’ll always be here for you. If you need someone to talk to, PM me and I’ll respond ASAP, because we care about you so much. <3

Thank you as well. For me, it's not really that I'm not being listened to. I don't blame them for not seeing what was happening when they were caught up in their own things. I know that I would be heard if I could find a way to speak, which is a luxury you haven't been afforded.

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

4 minutes ago, Witless of Shinovar said:

Firstly, that is actually a really cool metaphor that I might steal some time, Secondly panic attacks are kind of scary, and kind of a big deal. (not even kind of, they are a big deal)

Hmm--which metaphor? My Breathless Poem?

1 minute ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

Thanks.

I've written some poetry about it myself in SUs, actually. It really can help sometimes.

Thank you as well. For me, it's not really that I'm not being listened to. I don't blame them for not seeing what was happening when they were caught up in their own things. I know that I would be heard if I could find a way to speak, which is a luxury you haven't been afforded.

*nods*

So it's more a matter of finding your voice, then?

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

1 minute ago, Kajsa said:

*nods*

So it's more a matter of finding your voice, then?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, I don't feel like it's worth bringing up.

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

1 minute ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

Well, as I mentioned earlier, I don't feel like it's worth bringing up.

Hmm. 

Well... I definitely think it's worth bringing up. Especially if it's affecting you this much (sorry, I know, overused--I'm at a bit of a loss for a better way to phrase it). If they'll listen, bring it up. Doesn't matter how insignificant it seems.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

5 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

Hmm. 

Well... I definitely think it's worth bringing up. Especially if it's affecting you this much (sorry, I know, overused--I'm at a bit of a loss for a better way to phrase it). If they'll listen, bring it up. Doesn't matter how insignificant it seems.

I feel like I could be wrong, or overreacting. And even if it is affecting me, it's not worth affecting the people around me.

It just makes me anxious. I don't know.

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

1 minute ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I feel like I could be wrong, or overreacting. And even if it is affecting me, it's not worth affecting the people around me.

It just makes me anxious. I don't know.

I will say that I've felt this way before about bringing up my anxiety.

And Archie, you're worthy, whatever that means to you. Ie: it's worth affecting the people that love you, because it will help them help you.

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

[Wittles he/him]

1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

*hugs* I don't know what else to do to help, but we're here for you either way. *hugs again*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

36 minutes ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

We are here for you and there will be light, it feels like there is no end to the dark but there is. *Hugs*

[Nathrangking he/him]

1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

*Hugs.* To say being sad is not fun is the understatement of the century. That you don't feel worthy is what makes you the most worthy. If you lean on each other for support you may find a strength that you never knew that you had. People despite their best intentions sometimes can't leave well enough alone. They do care and they try to help, but they can grow tiresome at times. We all grieve in our own way. Not emoting is just the way some people deal. It's been my way for the longest time as well. We are here for you. Remember that you will be warm again. The dark and cold have limits on its power even while it might appear all-powerful. I hope that this poem might bring some needed warmth.

Lodgings
Hearths sparkle and glow.
Soft speech drifts and wends on air.
A snowfall shelter.

[That1Cellist he/him]

32 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

*Hugs.* To say being sad is not fun is the understatement of the century. That you don't feel worthy is what makes you the most worthy. If you lean on each other for support you may find a strength that you never knew that you had. People despite their best intentions sometimes can't leave well enough alone. They do care and they try to help, but they can grow tiresome at times. We all grieve in our own way. Not emoting is just the way some people deal. It's been my way for the longest time as well. We are here for you. Remember that you will be warm again. The dark and cold have limits on its power even while it might appear all-powerful. I hope that this poem might bring some needed warmth.

Lodgings
Hearths sparkle and glow.
Soft speech drifts and wends on air.
A snowfall shelter.

Thank you, Nath. Your words uplift us all.

3 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

What would you have them do then? Their asking is not so much a question to your wellness as it is an invitation that you let them support you in your trials. I am sorry that life has been unkind to you and those you care for. I cannot take the pain away, but if I could, I would. I cannot make it better, but I can try to comfort you. *hugs*

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

3 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

Being in grief is not just a feeling.

More like a state, of mind or of being.

It's hard to explain why the hurt is so bad,

and why when you're grieving you're more than just sad.

 

Sometimes it feels like each thing in each moment

Is missing some sort of essential component.

The thing that is lost that throws you asunder,

Like waves in a pond where a stone just went under.

 

As much as it hurts, time can start to heal.

The time might be long, and you might never feel

Quite right when you recognize where they had been.

Don't feel like you need to start lifting your chin.

 

*hugs*

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Bookwyrm's done the last two, so now it's my turn.

Anways Cellist could use all the good feelings, positive words, and confidence that you can send him.

[That1Cellist he/him]

13 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Bookwyrm's done the last two, so now it's my turn.

Anways Cellist could use all the good feelings, positive words, and confidence that you can send him.

Curse you Mr. Wizard. Please don't bother the people with my stupidity.

I am going to do better.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

1 hour ago, That1Cellist said:

Curse you Mr. Wizard. Please don't bother the people with my stupidity.

I am going to do better.

Haha I'm doing it anyway.

You're a cool person and a great roleplayer. You also seem genuinely caring and kind. You appear to be struggling a lot with self-worth, but I assure you, you matter a lot. You aren't stupid or annoying for sharing your problems. In fact, sharing when you feel down is a very smart thing to do, and no one should think less of you for it.

Take care of yourself. *hugs*

[Guest]

hmm okay 

im feeling really down right now 

idk today's just been weird and i feel like i didnt really get to do anything that i wanted to do because of other people's interference. 

also my younger brother got sick and im pretty sure it was because of me cause i was kinda taking him in my arms and like twirling him round and round (he really likes when i do this) and immediately he complained of stomach pains. so im feeling bad about that 

And one more thing. Today my parents took my brother to the Opera House to see a play but apparently did not realise that going to an opera house and seeing a live production is something that i would LOVE. they didnt even ask me. Maye its kinda petty but ive been wanting to go to the Royal Opera House for ages and they knew it. And they still forgot about me

Also you know, my family has a lot of drama that i dont really care about, but i feel like im being made a part of it anyway. i just want to read and study and listen to music and not listen to my parents problems or my sister talking trash about my parents. like sure, i kind of share her sentiments but i just dont wanna get so involved you know? 

And with my sister its like her mood changes very quickly. and i mean very quickly. Like she could be laughing manically, and within 5 minutes she'd be near tears for absolutely no reason. its kinda exhausting to keep up with that. 

i wanted to revise economics, practice for my art re-prelim, and finish reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and re-watch Kill Your Darlings but I didnt get to do any of that. 

Instead I had to listen to other people's drama 

Its just i dont really care about what problems my parents are going through or how they feel about each other or i dont wanna listen to my mom complaining about my dad. I dont want to spend hours listening to my sister's trash talk  when i could be doing something much better. Does that make me a bad person?

Edited February 12, 2023 by Elf

[Morningtide she/her]

*hugs* it sucks when other people commandeer your time for their own purposes. I don't really know what to say other than I hope it gets better and I'm sure you'll do great at whatever you're working on :).

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

2 hours ago, Elf said:

hmm okay 

im feeling really down right now 

idk today's just been weird and i feel like i didnt really get to do anything that i wanted to do because of other people's interference. 

also my younger brother got sick and im pretty sure it was because of me cause i was kinda taking him in my arms and like twirling him round and round (he really likes when i do this) and immediately he complained of stomach pains. so im feeling bad about that 

And one more thing. Today my parents took my brother to the Opera House to see a play but apparently did not realise that going to an opera house and seeing a live production is something that i would LOVE. they didnt even ask me. Maye its kinda petty but ive been wanting to go to the Royal Opera House for ages and they knew it. And they still forgot about me

Also you know, my family has a lot of drama that i dont really care about, but i feel like im being made a part of it anyway. i just want to read and study and listen to music and not listen to my parents problems or my sister talking trash about my parents. like sure, i kind of share her sentiments but i just dont wanna get so involved you know? 

And with my sister its like her mood changes very quickly. and i mean very quickly. Like she could be laughing manically, and within 5 minutes she'd be near tears for absolutely no reason. its kinda exhausting to keep up with that. 

i wanted to revise economics, practice for my art re-prelim, and finish reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and re-watch Kill Your Darlings but I didnt get to do any of that. 

Instead I had to listen to other people's drama 

Its just i dont really care about what problems my parents are going through or how they feel about each other or i dont wanna listen to my mom complaining about my dad. I dont want to spend hours listening to my sister's trash talk  when i could be doing something much better. Does that make me a bad person?

*hugs* Life can be pretty crazy and exhausting, and it's understandable that you feel this way, and it does not make you a bad person. It sucks to feel like you're being ignored, and it sucks to deal with arguments all the time that you don't want any involvement in. It sounds like your family has a lot of conflict. If you haven't already, I would try opening up about how it's affecting you during a less heated time, and hopefully you can all make an effort to improve. If not, I hope you can find some space and start to feel better soon.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

Spoiler

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

[Quivil]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Hide contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

*gives all the hugs*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Reveal hidden contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

Yes, you can *hugs*

You are an incredible person and you spread light to those around you, even though you can't see it. 

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Reveal hidden contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

Hey guess what? You are a very very memorable amazing awesome person. I can personally attest to that. Even when you think people don't remember or care they do, we do. You are amazing. And you are doing lots of amazing things.*hugs* 

[That1Cellist he/him]

Dang it, I apparently still do have emotions. The only thing they ever tell me is pain.

I want to turn them off I want to turn them off go away go away go away go away please.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

Dang it, I apparently still do have emotions. The only thing they ever tell me is pain.

I want to turn them off I want to turn them off go away go away go away go away please.

Having emotions is good...I'm gonna go find a quote or have you read the wheel of time. Because emotions are good and shutting them off and becoming hard, harder than adamantium isn't going to help.

[That1Cellist he/him]

1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Having emotions is good...I'm gonna go find a quote or have you read the wheel of time. Because emotions are good and shutting them off and becoming hard, harder than adamantium isn't going to help.

Then I won't care though. I won't be in pain anymore.