Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[The Sovereign]

7 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

I'm legit not feeling well. I started feeling bad yesterday, and now I'm feeling worse. Staying home is the best thing I can do for not just myself, but my coworkers.

I've worked for the library just over a year at this point, and this is the first sick day I've taken. I have more than enough sick leave to cover this one shift.

I'm going to stay home and recover, not go out and party. 

The manager I spoke to expressed no doubt that I was actually ill. 

So why do I feel so guilty? 

You are preaching to the choir on this one, I have taken 3 sick days since 2012 (2 of which I was sick in the hospital for). Each time I feel terrible because I hate giving other people more work to do. Just always fall back on that staying home when you are actually sick is actually best for you and your coworkers.

[Claincy he/him]

1 hour ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

I'm legit not feeling well. I started feeling bad yesterday, and now I'm feeling worse. Staying home is the best thing I can do for not just myself, but my coworkers.

I've worked for the library just over a year at this point, and this is the first sick day I've taken. I have more than enough sick leave to cover this one shift.

I'm going to stay home and recover, not go out and party. 

The manager I spoke to expressed no doubt that I was actually ill. 

So why do I feel so guilty? 

Because you hate the idea of letting people down?

Which is a great trait so long as it doesn't prevent you from taking care of yourself or it makes you feel down on yourself. When you aren't up to working taking the day off is certainly the right move.

 

Unfortunately I haven't found that feeling of guilt leaving over time. I still feel like I'm letting people down when I'm not up to going in to work on a day, particularly when I have to postpone meetings as a result. (Incidentally, I had to do so today ) Fortunately for me my work hours are extremely flexible, most of my work I can do from home & the people I work with are very understanding and accepting of my health issues.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

So it's my dad's birthday today.

and I'm expected to show up downstairs and wish him a good one... 

my soul is damned enough already

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

6 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

So it's my dad's birthday today.

and I'm expected to show up downstairs and wish him a good one... 

my soul is damned enough already

You could always get him this card. 

Spoiler

 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Just now, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

You could always get him this card. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I saw one that said. "You bring out the sarcasm in me"

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I just had one of the worst days of my life. Woke up depressed af, only got to talk to you and some others for a short period of time like some sort of way to psyche myself up for the day. Then im forced to go downstairs and wish my dad a happy birthday and sit next to him and smile like everything is alright. All the while as everyone is laughing and taunting me. I don't even know who's side my mother is on now, in secret she tells me she doesn't like seeing me depressed and introverted but then in the same breath she'll agree with my father and say that they don't care about me >>. And my sisters are telling me to commit suicide and crap and going on about how I won't be missed and just being little pricks in general. And I hate myself for allowing my mother to hand-feed me some cake as everyone is laughing and crap. I go upstairs finally and just wallow in my misery, half-listening to the voices of my family as they discuss me in the living room. Demonising me and just *sigh. Then my mother comes upstairs and says I need to go downstairs and apologize to everyone, because of course *I'm at fault*. And I refuse to do so and then she sorta looks at me sadly like "that was your only way out kiddo, you chose the hard road". And then I just sit there for a couple more hours and then force myself to do something productive. I do some math crap for a while and just lose myself in the tediousness of it all, then I try to draw but everything looks crap to me and I just want to die. Finally I make myself go downstairs and eat something; I have never been feeling in the best of physical health lately, like, right now I feel all congested and mucousy and my throat is hoarse and raw, and I have a migraine and as per usual my thyroid was on and off. And as I'm trying to eat, I'm getting shamed by my family and called a fat rust and crap... so I go upstairs and woweee why not? I get back into a bad habit of mine...(when I was younger and I couldn't cope with anything I used to gnaw at the backs of my fingers and tear the skin off and crap). And we'll, my fingers were a bloody mess heh. Anyway, I feel strangely better then, so I read some Tolkien and write up more notes on my magic system and develop a system for SE. Then I try to draw some more and I do two self-portraits which I reckon look alright (save for the face on the second one...a lil off heh). And we'll, past half hour I've just been hugging my pillow trembling. Then mum got home just now and I can finally use her phone and talk with you all! Thank god.

*sigh 

sorry for the rant bleh

*dollhouse starts playing heh

Edited April 12, 2017 by Darkness Ascendant

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

35 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

I just had one of the worst days of my life. Woke up depressed af, only got to talk to you and some others for a short period of time like some sort of way to psyche myself up for the day. Then im forced to go downstairs and wish my dad a happy birthday and sit next to him and smile like everything is alright. All the while as everyone is laughing and taunting me. I don't even know who's side my mother is on now, in secret she tells me she doesn't like seeing me depressed and introverted but then in the same breath she'll agree with my father and say that they don't care about me >>. And my sisters are telling me to commit suicide and crap and going on about how I won't be missed and just being little pricks in general. And I hate myself for allowing my mother to hand-feed me some cake as everyone is laughing and crap. I go upstairs finally and just wallow in my misery, half-listening to the voices of my family as they discuss me in the living room. Demonising me and just *sigh. Then my mother comes upstairs and says I need to go downstairs and apologize to everyone, because of course *I'm at fault*. And I refuse to do so and then she sorta looks at me sadly like "that was your only way out kiddo, you chose the hard road". And then I just sit there for a couple more hours and then force myself to do something productive. I do some math crap for a while and just lose myself in the tediousness of it all, then I try to draw but everything looks crap to me and I just want to die. Finally I make myself go downstairs and eat something; I have never been feeling in the best of physical health lately, like, right now I feel all congested and mucousy and my throat is hoarse and raw, and I have a migraine and as per usual my thyroid was on and off. And as I'm trying to eat, I'm getting shamed by my family and called a fat rust and crap... so I go upstairs and woweee why not? I get back into a bad habit of mine...(when I was younger and I couldn't cope with anything I used to gnaw at the backs of my fingers and tear the skin off and crap). And we'll, my fingers were a bloody mess heh. Anyway, I feel strangely better then, so I read some Tolkien and write up more notes on my magic system and develop a system for SE. Then I try to draw some more and I do two self-portraits which I reckon look alright (save for the face on the second one...a lil off heh). And we'll, past half hour I've just been hugging my pillow trembling. Then mum got home just now and I can finally use her phone and talk with you all! Thank god.

*sigh 

sorry for the rant bleh

*dollhouse starts playing heh

That sounds awful.  *hugs*

If music would help, here's my go-to "the world sucks and I hate it" song (language warning):

Spoiler

 

 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

@TwiLyghtSansSparklesI would if I could *sigh

and thank you

Edited April 12, 2017 by Darkness Ascendant

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, Darkness Ascendant said:

@TwiLyghtSansSparklesI would if I could *sigh

Ah, no headphones? 

I'm almost tempted to tell you to just blare MCR at top volume, just to see how your dad reacts. But I know that'd make things worse, so…. *more hugs*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

3 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Ah, no headphones? 

I'm almost tempted to tell you to just blare MCR at top volume, just to see how your dad reacts. But I know that'd make things worse, so…. *more hugs*

*chuckles 

that and yeah my dad hates music. 

Thanks *hugs back

[Jondesu he/him]

Storms that sounds awful, DA.  Sorry, man, and hang in there.  It really does sound like a terrible situation, but you can break free of them. It'll just take time. At least you're very aware of what's going on and that it's wrong, which is a huge step towards escaping and avoiding becoming like that yourself.  You got this, man.

[Delightful]

I did a really irresponsible stupid and I don't know what to do and I'm totally panicking.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

5 minutes ago, Jondesu said:

Storms that sounds awful, DA.  Sorry, man, and hang in there.  It really does sound like a terrible situation, but you can break free of them. It'll just take time. At least you're very aware of what's going on and that it's wrong, which is a huge step towards escaping and avoiding becoming like that yourself.  You got this, man.

He's right. Knowing that something is wrong, that what your parents are doing isn't right, means it'll be easier for you to break free when you have the chance. 

And keep writing. When I was under my parents' thumb and things got really bad, writing fanfic was incredibly cathartic for me. Even before I knew that how they treated me was unquestionably wrong, even as I made excuses for what they were doing, those stories allowed me to explore my darkest thoughts in a safe environment, without directly confronting anything I wasn't ready to confront. 

2 minutes ago, Delightful said:

I did a really irresponsible stupid and I don't know what to do and I'm totally panicking.

What happened? 

[Delightful]

PMed. Im too embarrassed to post publicly. 

[Mestiv he/him]

@Darkness Ascendant how old are you? When is the soonest you can  have a chance for independence?

@Delightfulif you'd like advice from a silly semi-professional adult I can try to help

[Tristan]

3 hours ago, Delightful said:

I did a really irresponsible stupid and I don't know what to do and I'm totally panicking.

Is everything okay? What happened?

[marsoupial they/them]

3 hours ago, Delightful said:

PMed. Im too embarrassed to post publicly. 

Add me in as well. I've got your back, Del.

[Jondesu he/him]

I'm in so much pain right now I'm nauseous. Not sure if I had a spike in blood pressure or something, but my headache just went off the charts.

[Tristan]

1 hour ago, Jondesu said:

I'm in so much pain right now I'm nauseous. Not sure if I had a spike in blood pressure or something, but my headache just went off the charts.

Could it be from stress? Hope it's not a migraine  

[Tristan]

I'm not having a bad day, just a blah day. My epilepsy medicine makes me drowsy as I adjust to it, plus I had to take a Benadryl for allergies, and that alone will knock me out. On top of that, I woke up at 4:30am to write with a friend, and now it's just after 3pm and I'm going off of five hours of sleep (which is not a lot for someone who consistently gets 8-9). I don't know how these young whippersnappers can do this every day.

Could be that I'm just an 80-year-old grandma trapped in a 26-year-old girl.

[Jondesu he/him]

22 minutes ago, Tristan said:

Could it be from stress? Hope it's not a migraine  

I don't think it was a migraine, though I've had those too.  It's faded back down to my usual level now, finally.  I don't know if it could have been stress, I was just laying in bed watching a video when it kicked in.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

2 hours ago, Jondesu said:

I don't think it was a migraine, though I've had those too.  It's faded back down to my usual level now, finally.  I don't know if it could have been stress, I was just laying in bed watching a video when it kicked in.

A video you say? Were there flashing lights or bright colors about the time the headache came on?

Edited April 12, 2017 by Hemalurgic_Headshot

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

9 hours ago, Jondesu said:

Storms that sounds awful, DA.  Sorry, man, and hang in there.  It really does sound like a terrible situation, but you can break free of them. It'll just take time. At least you're very aware of what's going on and that it's wrong, which is a huge step towards escaping and avoiding becoming like that yourself.  You got this, man.

Thanks man. I used to blame myself heh.

9 hours ago, Delightful said:

I did a really irresponsible stupid and I don't know what to do and I'm totally panicking.

What's up?

9 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

He's right. Knowing that something is wrong, that what your parents are doing isn't right, means it'll be easier for you to break free when you have the chance. 

And keep writing. When I was under my parents' thumb and things got really bad, writing fanfic was incredibly cathartic for me. Even before I knew that how they treated me was unquestionably wrong, even as I made excuses for what they were doing, those stories allowed me to explore my darkest thoughts in a safe environment, without directly confronting anything I wasn't ready to confront.  

Bleh. I've just been working on my magic systems and jotting down ideas and crap. I really want to start writing properly but I need my laptop for that, I just can't work without it. So  much stuff to google and crap.

6 hours ago, Mestiv said:

@Darkness Ascendant how old are you? When is the soonest you can  have a chance for independance?

Bleh, like 2/3 years

5 hours ago, Jondesu said:

I'm in so much pain right now I'm nauseous. Not sure if I had a spike in blood pressure or something, but my headache just went off the charts.

That sucks :/ was there a halo in your vision beforehand? (Blurry top of your vision)

4 hours ago, Tristan said:

I'm not having a bad day, just a blah day. My epilepsy medicine makes me drowsy as I adjust to it, plus I had to take a Benadryl for allergies, and that alone will knock me out. On top of that, I woke up at 4:30am to write with a friend, and now it's just after 3pm and I'm going off of five hours of sleep (which is not a lot for someone who consistently gets 8-9). I don't know how these young whippersnappers can do this every day.

Could be that I'm just an 80-year-old grandma trapped in a 26-year-old girl.

Exposed! Always knew you practiced black magic  

get some sleep heh. 

 

[StrikerEZ he/him]

12 hours ago, Delightful said:

I did a really irresponsible stupid and I don't know what to do and I'm totally panicking.

Aww, don't worry, we're all here for you. It can be any more stupid than some of the things I've done.

[Jondesu he/him]

7 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

A video you say? Were there flashing lights or bright colors about the time the headache came on?

Nah, it was pretty chill, and @Darkness Ascendant, no vision issues either when it happened. Hopefully the Mayo Clinic can shed some light on what's been going on, next week.

Edit: I did realize that I'd had my wife cut out most of my meds for a few days because they haven't been doing any good and I hit a really low point and was really frustrated. Scary thing is, despite feeling like Shardpoop every day, apparently at least one of the meds (I think I know which one) was keeping it from being even worse. Hopefully that means I can avoid it being that bad again.

Edited April 13, 2017 by Jondesu