Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[+Slowswift]

28 minutes ago, The Halcyon Girl said:

Yeah, and I went to their website. It’s just not there at all. 

Well, that stinks. Sorry to hear that! I hope you can find another notebook you like.

[Going_North_cal]

Well my friends gf and them had a nice romantic halloween then i started venting about how frustrating it is to have a girlfriend who's always busy...

ok i can't explain this well myself.

i'll let the text messages do it for me.

Spoiler

i dunno y'all..

im worried for her, and my friend offered good advice, but i still worry for her.

i love her to death, and i don't want her to burn herself out, you know?

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 hour ago, CalanoCorvus said:

Well my friends gf and them had a nice romantic halloween then i started venting about how frustrating it is to have a girlfriend who's always busy...

ok i can't explain this well myself.

i'll let the text messages do it for me.

  Hide contents

i dunno y'all..

im worried for her, and my friend offered good advice, but i still worry for her.

i love her to death, and i don't want her to burn herself out, you know?

It's because you love her that you worry for her.

And the best advice I have is to be there for her and to care for her, and let her know that you care.

[Nathrangking he/him]

9 hours ago, CalanoCorvus said:

Well my friends gf and them had a nice romantic halloween then i started venting about how frustrating it is to have a girlfriend who's always busy...

ok i can't explain this well myself.

i'll let the text messages do it for me.

  Reveal hidden contents

i dunno y'all..

im worried for her, and my friend offered good advice, but i still worry for her.

i love her to death, and i don't want her to burn herself out, you know?

If I may be so bold, I'll reiterate what was said and add some more. If you did not love her then you would not be as worried as you are right now. You have a big heart and loyalty which are noble things. Being there for her and letting her know that you are there for her are critical things. She should know that you are there to listen if she ever wants to talk. It is important that you are there, but not pushing her to move faster than she is ready for. There is this urge to protect and to make all of the troubles and pain go away. However, sometimes that desire blinds us and makes us act rashly. The best thing that you can do is be a comfort without smothering her. This is not an easy thing, but it is essential.

[Guest]

I agree with what has been said above, Calano. You worry for her because you love her, and I do think that the best thing you can do is just be there for her. You're a good boyfriend, there should be more people like you in the world. 

And now sorry to add on but. 

I kinda feel like I'm losing sight of myself, you know. I miss myself; i miss who I used to be. I miss the girl who stayed up till 3am reading The Secret History and listening to the rain outside. I miss the person who listened to Lacrimosa while reading The Song of Achilles and cried. I miss the one who watched Howls Moving Castle and who's nights were filled with books and tea and music. And for whom words flew like water from her fingers; who didn't find it so difficult to craft worlds and stories, and spent hours writing poetry. I don't do most of those things anymore and I feel like I'm losing my core. And I'm worried I'll never get that girl back. 

In the the tumultuous change of time, how do you not lose yourself? 

The Earth will eat us all in the end; all our work, all our efforts; buildings, machines. Surely the Earth will eat the birds too, when they tire of flying. We are a brief flicker in the undying eternity of the cosmos: Stardust come alive; the universe begging for a chance to understand itself. How do you make the most of life, if you don't even know who you are anymore?

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

54 minutes ago, Elf said:

In the the tumultuous change of time, how do you not lose yourself? 

 

If I may be so bold I will explain what I know of how not to lose yourself.

For me my anchor is Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They keep me anchored because through the gospel I have learned that I am a son of god and he wants me to come back to him. I know that you are a daughter of god and he loves and cares for you Elf. He is always there and his hand is stretched out continually, waiting for you to accept it and come back to him. I know that god lives, that Jesus Christ is his son and that he has a plan for you.

[Going_North_cal]

@Elf a non-religious point of view, in case you want it, although I do agree with Wizard.

Think of it like this.

You say that if at some point, the universe will swallow us in it's infinite blackness, if the void will eventually smother us in it's vice-like grip, than what's the point? How do you not lose yourself?

Well, you live every day like you'll die tomorrow. Of course, you obey the rules, to an extent. After that extent, whatever you want to do, you can do. After all, what does it matter? This might not be the best advice, but it's freeing.

And to everyone else, thank you for your kind words and advice. It pains me to see her bottle up her emotions in her work and activities, but the best I can do is support her, and I will continue to do so.

[Nathrangking he/him]

6 hours ago, Elf said:

I agree with what has been said above, Calano. You worry for her because you love her, and I do think that the best thing you can do is just be there for her. You're a good boyfriend, there should be more people like you in the world. 

And now sorry to add on but. 

I kinda feel like I'm losing sight of myself, you know. I miss myself; i miss who I used to be. I miss the girl who stayed up till 3am reading The Secret History and listening to the rain outside. I miss the person who listened to Lacrimosa while reading The Song of Achilles and cried. I miss the one who watched Howls Moving Castle and who's nights were filled with books and tea and music. And for whom words flew like water from her fingers; who didn't find it so difficult to craft worlds and stories, and spent hours writing poetry. I don't do most of those things anymore and I feel like I'm losing my core. And I'm worried I'll never get that girl back. 

In the the tumultuous change of time, how do you not lose yourself? 

The Earth will eat us all in the end; all our work, all our efforts; buildings, machines. Surely the Earth will eat the birds too, when they tire of flying. We are a brief flicker in the undying eternity of the cosmos: Stardust come alive; the universe begging for a chance to understand itself. How do you make the most of life, if you don't even know who you are anymore?

If I may, Elf, What you are feeling can hurt worse than any wound. It has kept me up at night and forced tears from my eyes. Changing and not being who I used to be terrified me. In a way, my current relationship with the love of my life represents this in ways that nothing that came before ever has. The cold fear is potent and the world itself seems to stand against me. The truth is that in the end, you are the only one who can say who you are. It may take time, but you will find yourself because the truth of who you are is not so far away. It is hidden within you, buried, and yet very much there for you to find. The cosmos in its inevitability can be that which moves you to find yourself. If everything ends then before that time comes don't you owe it to yourself to look in the mirror and ask who you want to be and who are you now that you have changed? Know that you are awesome Elf and my Dm's are open if you need to talk.

Edited November 2, 2022 by Nathrangking

[Morningtide she/her]

I don't have anything to add on to what everybody else has already said, but I will second everything that has already been said. My PM's are also open if you need someone to talk to. 
Perhaps I can say that if you are worried about change, make sure that the person you are becoming is someone you want to be. Maybe you can't go back, but you can move upward, not down.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

I am so sick right now, it's miserable  my immune system is very hardy and i usually never get sick but it's 1 AM and i can't sleep cause of how congested i am, i had cough drops and nyquill and everything but i can't breath through my nose and swallowing feels like my throat is being stabbed with needles. and whenever i sneeze it feels like my nose is gonna launch across the room (very painfully).

Sorry for the rant, i know getting sick is normal and i'm being a crybaby but it's just so miserable ahhh

[Robin Sedai she/her]

*hugs* that sucks, hope you get well soon.

[That1Cellist he/him]

10 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

I am so sick right now, it's miserable  my immune system is very hardy and i usually never get sick but it's 1 AM and i can't sleep cause of how congested i am, i had cough drops and nyquill and everything but i can't breath through my nose and swallowing feels like my throat is being stabbed with needles. and whenever i sneeze it feels like my nose is gonna launch across the room (very painfully).

Sorry for the rant, i know getting sick is normal and i'm being a crybaby but it's just so miserable ahhh

Yeah, I hope you feel better soon! Being badly sick is awful.

[Morningtide she/her]

That's the worst! Get better soon

[Immortal Platypus]

I'm also sick @Szeth's Facepalm. It happens every year. I also couldn't sleep the past couple nights and so when I did sleep I slept in a bad position so now I have back and neck pain. *sarcastic thumbs up* Gotta love it.  

[That1Cellist he/him]

55 minutes ago, ImportantQuestions said:

I'm also sick @Szeth's Facepalm. It happens every year. I also couldn't sleep the past couple nights and so when I did sleep I slept in a bad position so now I have back and neck pain. *sarcastic thumbs up* Gotta love it.  

*Hugs* I hope you feel better soon! It really stinks to be sick.

[Immortal Platypus]

16 minutes ago, That1Cellist said:

*Hugs* I hope you feel better soon! It really stinks to be sick.

yeah, it does. Thanks though.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

1 hour ago, ImportantQuestions said:

I'm also sick @Szeth's Facepalm. It happens every year. I also couldn't sleep the past couple nights and so when I did sleep I slept in a bad position so now I have back and neck pain. *sarcastic thumbs up* Gotta love it.  

Awwwww i'm sorry :(

[Immortal Platypus]

It's okay, you're probably more sick than me. I didn't take medicine and I've mostly been moderately okay... mostly.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Quadratic formulas hurt my brain. It's just math, but I'd rather read completely wrong cosmere theories all day.

[Immortal Platypus]

5 minutes ago, AesSedai318 said:

Quadratic formulas hurt my brain. It's just math, but I'd rather read completely wrong cosmere theories all day.

*Gives emotional support* You'll get through it. Sorry you don't understand it. To be entirely fair, x= (-b plus or minus the square root of b^2-4ac) all divided by 2a hurts anyone's brain.

[Immortal Platypus]

I'm having probably the worst day I've had in a long time. 

First, I had a swim meet. In that swim meet, some of my friends basically just decided that I wasn't allowed to know things and weren't super nice, so that's great. Then I had a ballroom competition. That was super stressful and hard because I had two partners instead of just one, on the very first dance competition of my entire life, so that's not a good combination. Also, you basically have to conceal everything you're feeling (at this point the list is angry, annoyed, struggling, angry, and upset) to look happy while you're dancing, so I did. We won an award as a team, so it must have worked, but concealing it made me feel worse. After that, I had to wait in the car for about 30 minutes total while mom was in a few different stores. Then I start my work and get told that instead of cleaning up just Shadow's (my dog's) poop for the pooper-scooper job, I have to do all the deer poop too. Then my sister put Shadow outside, exactly where she shouldn't be because she's going to eat all the deer poop. I tell her just that and she decides that that is my problem now. Then, when I finally get done with the lawn, after dealing with the puppy, and come inside and I'm about to vacuum, mom tells me that I have to do the rocks too, which we haven't had to do before. Then while I'm feeling all these emotions (see prior list and ignored, plus a couple more without names or something like that), my dad yells at me. So now I'm here. I have pretty much all of my chores to do and it's pretty much 7:30 pm. 

 

Anybody want to challenge the fact that I've had the worst day at the moment?

 

Nobody?

 

Going once, going twice, sold! First prize to me.  I apparently had the worst day. Yay.

 

[+Slowswift]

1 hour ago, ImportantQuestions said:

I'm having probably the worst day I've had in a long time. 

First, I had a swim meet. In that swim meet, some of my friends basically just decided that I wasn't allowed to know things and weren't super nice, so that's great. Then I had a ballroom competition. That was super stressful and hard because I had two partners instead of just one, on the very first dance competition of my entire life, so that's not a good combination. Also, you basically have to conceal everything you're feeling (at this point the list is angry, annoyed, struggling, angry, and upset) to look happy while you're dancing, so I did. We won an award as a team, so it must have worked, but concealing it made me feel worse. After that, I had to wait in the car for about 30 minutes total while mom was in a few different stores. Then I start my work and get told that instead of cleaning up just Shadow's (my dog's) poop for the pooper-scooper job, I have to do all the deer poop too. Then my sister put Shadow outside, exactly where she shouldn't be because she's going to eat all the deer poop. I tell her just that and she decides that that is my problem now. Then, when I finally get done with the lawn, after dealing with the puppy, and come inside and I'm about to vacuum, mom tells me that I have to do the rocks too, which we haven't had to do before. Then while I'm feeling all these emotions (see prior list and ignored, plus a couple more without names or something like that), my dad yells at me. So now I'm here. I have pretty much all of my chores to do and it's pretty much 7:30 pm. 

 

Anybody want to challenge the fact that I've had the worst day at the moment?

 

Nobody?

 

Going once, going twice, sold! First prize to me.  I apparently had the worst day. Yay.

 

Days like that absolutely stink. A new day's coming, and I sincerely hope it's better--get some sleep, eat a favorite food, and relax as much as you can. It's going to be okay.

[Immortal Platypus]

12 hours ago, Slowswift said:

eat a favorite food, and relax as much as you can

I'm eating ice cream and reading a book right now. Slowly but surely, the day is getting better. Plus, I can almost go to bed!!!

EDIT: I thought I could almost go to bed instead, there was something else I was supposed to do, that I blew off so I could cuddle with my puppy. Totally worth it!!!

Edited November 6, 2022 by ImportantQuestions
Did more stuff

[Lego Mistborn he/him]

On 11/1/2022 at 8:27 PM, CalanoCorvus said:

Well my friends gf and them had a nice romantic halloween then i started venting about how frustrating it is to have a girlfriend who's always busy...

ok i can't explain this well myself.

i'll let the text messages do it for me.

  Hide contents

i dunno y'all..

im worried for her, and my friend offered good advice, but i still worry for her.

i love her to death, and i don't want her to burn herself out, you know?

I know I'm a lot late, but I know what you feel. Your friend is right that she doesn't need to smile all the time. It's incredibly hard to see her sad, but you can't "fix" her, and she may feel worse if you do. With regards to therapy, that's not necessary what she needs, if you think she's too busy because she doesn't feel she has a purpose, then help her find a purpose in spending time with you. In addition, I'd suggest you research how you can support a person who's undergoing therapy, because you will make more of a difference than a doctor she doesn't know if you learn what a doctor would learn.

I hope that makes sense, I'm always willing to answer any questions, and I shouldn't be too busy coming up soon.

[That1Cellist he/him]

3 hours ago, Ta'veren Kaladin said:

I know I'm a lot late, but I know what you feel. Your friend is right that she doesn't need to smile all the time. It's incredibly hard to see her sad, but you can't "fix" her, and she may feel worse if you do. With regards to therapy, that's not necessary what she needs, if you think she's too busy because she doesn't feel she has a purpose, then help her find a purpose in spending time with you. In addition, I'd suggest you research how you can support a person who's undergoing therapy, because you will make more of a difference than a doctor she doesn't know if you learn what a doctor would learn.

I hope that makes sense, I'm always willing to answer any questions, and I shouldn't be too busy coming up soon.

I second this. Thank you so much for your input.