Vending Machine: Sanderson edition (game)

[StrikerEZ he/him]

You get a cream-filled donut!

*inserts the earth*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

The earth is flat

*inserts a GoGurt

[A Budgie she/her]

You get an empty container of strawberry-flavoured yoplait yogurt!
*inserts the syringe-y thing you use to inject cream into profiteroles*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

You get another syringe, but the kind to inject <insert illegal drug> into the bloodstream!

*inserts addiction recovery program*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get my italian teacher emerging once more! Even though I put her in there ages ago!
*inserts chocolate cream*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get diabetes!

*inserts coke recipe*

[The Technovore he/him]

You get arrested!

*inserts important documents*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

The government steals them!

*inserts the hermit from the woods*

[The Technovore he/him]

You get the man's magic powers!... and possibly his insanity?

*inserts monetary system of Roshar*

[kenod]

You get rich!

*inserts grim reaper's scythe*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get death looking vaguely annoyed!
*inserts the 17th shard*

[StrikerEZ he/him]

You get a group of people who all seem very mad!

*inserts an asteroid*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

The vending machine does not accept credit cards, debit cards, waffle sandwiches, asteroids, meteors, or meteorites. You find your asteroid in the coin return slot.

*inserts instruction manual*

[StrikerEZ he/him]

*reads fine print*

This vending machine also doesn't accept its own instruction manual. You pull the instruction manual from the return slot.

*inserts a tall man*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

*You get some children that had strangely dissapeared decades ago. Strange, they haven't seemed to age at all*

*inserts a tentacle*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get some sushi!
*inserts empty fish-shaped soy sauce container*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

You get an empty fish that smells of soy sauce.

*inserts penguin*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

*you get the IceBerg*

*inserts a giant enchilada*

[The Technovore he/him]

You got a quirky Mexican sidekick that only speaks in a monotone! ...what was he doing in there?

*inserts "chicken"*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

You get "fast food".

*inserts FDA*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

(for a second I thought heh)

*You get a feruchemical duralumin actor!*

*inserts pi*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

The vending machine zaps you with a beam! After a moment, you feel very irrational.

*inserts fairy*

[Fezzik]

You get three hearts back.

*inserts master sword*

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a pile of smashed pottery shards.

*inserts giant land snail*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

*you get a giant snail trail*

*inserts an oboe*