Vending Machine: Sanderson edition (game)

[Elenion he/him]

 You get three magic beans.

*inserts the Harlem Globetrotters*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get a rather squished world globe!
*inserts banana skin*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

The vending machine slips!

*inserts Communist regime*

[StrikerEZ he/him]

You have to give up your land!

*inserts all of the U.S.A.*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

You get all of the USA's debt!

*Inserts all of the USA's debt*

[The Technovore he/him]

You get $24,000,000,000,000 worth of soda! (What did you expect this is just a vending machine) (also I don't know how original this joke is I didn't read the whole thread to check I'm sorry)

 

*inserts overused meme*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get a disguisted look, and a cry of 'dank!'
*inserts cheese*

[StrikerEZ he/him]

*a mouse comes crawling out with the cheese in its mouth*

*inserts mouse back into the machine*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

"When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby"

You get a double barrelled shotgun!

*insert cupcake

[A Budgie she/her]

You get some batter!
*inserts figgin*

[☫Kelsier☫ he/him]

You get Dank Memes!

*Inserts clip*

You get a campfire!

*Inserts stick*

You get Atium coated lead(Thanks a lot, Zane -_-)!

*Inserts boxing*

You get Lerasium!

*Inserts finger*

[The Technovore he/him]

You got a pewter-enhanced backhand to the face!

*inserts character-death reference*

[StrikerEZ he/him]

You get lots of spoilers!

*inserts death himself*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

"Gah, woke me up for this? I was just about to spike this dude (in a dream I swear)"

*inserts a 12 inch ruler*

[A Budgie she/her]

You get a rather confused maths teacher, the one I seem to remember got inserted earlier!
*pours cream into machine*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Darn. The machine appears to be broken. A strange smoke fills the air and the machine shudders, coughs and walks way.

...revealing a brand new vending machine set into the wall behind it! It seems to speak in a strange, alien language. And seems to be stocked with the strangest of foods; pickled tentacles, boiled kid (goat) heads, an assortment of mini pies and mini children. And a potion labelled #9

*inserts a char-coaled chicken*

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

You get a boiled goat head!

*inserts Wisconsin state quarter*

[The Technovore he/him]

You got (20) rupees!

*inserts potion #3*

[marsoupial they/them]

You get a nice tan! 

*inserts chartreuse permanent marker*

[The Technovore he/him]

You get a 5-year-old!

*inserts Way of Kings by Nohodon*

 

[kenod]

You get Dalinar!

*Inserts Necronomicon*

[The Technovore he/him]

You get a skeleton!

*inserts firebender*

[Mestiv he/him]

You get a bended fire!

INSERT INTO vending_machine (content) VALUES ('sql injection'); DROP TABLE vending_machine; --');

[Gizmosowner he/him]

47 minutes ago, The Technovore said:

You get a skeleton!

*inserts firebender*

You get a brass mind filled with so much heat that while tapping the air around you combusts into flame.

*inserts a block of tungsten

[kenod]

55 minutes ago, Mestiv said:

You get a bended fire!

INSERT INTO vending_machine (content) VALUES ('sql injection'); DROP TABLE vending_machine; --');

You get banned!

*Inserts a thousand souls*