Vending Machine: Sanderson edition (game)

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get a winged scooter. Cause Scootaloo rides one. And you don't have wings. So yeah.

 

*Inserts a kis-WAIT A KISS? Alrighty then*

[CarolaDavar she/her]

You get. . .a ship! (It's the Dalinar x Navani one, BTW)

*inserts the Apocalypse Guard*

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a reality-hopping vehicle.

 

*inserts Parshendi*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

you get a very nice marble table

 

*inserts a phoenix*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You get a Fall Out Boy song! 

 

 

*inserts a unicorn*

[Straw he/him]

You get a TwiLyghtSansSparkles!

*inserts a RAFO card*

[CarolaDavar she/her]

You get a Rafo.

*inserts The last eposide of MLP*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

you get... no just no. Don't even think about it

 

Inserts a razorblade

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a small pouch of stubble from a man's shaved beard.

 

*inserts chalice of violet wine*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get drunk!

 

*inserts  cheeseburger*

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a herd of hungry cats.

 

*inserts mistwraith*

[CarolaDavar she/her]

you get Tensoon!

*Inserts Alcatraz*

[Eagle of the Forest Path he/him]

You get a 1979 Clint Eastwood movie.

 

*inserts a vehemently protesting Clint Eastwood*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You get a punk who feels lucky.  

 

*inserts Dirty Harry*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get a Clean Harry!

 

*inserts george of the jungle*

[ThirdGen]

You get Jill of the Jungle!  (Go ahead, look her up.)

 

*inserts a free trial offer*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You get fine print. 

 

Fine print available in one font only. Additional fonts not included with free trial offer. All additional fonts will come at a surcharge of $19.95 plus processing and handling. Do not use this font in the presence of cats, banjos, or pandas, as the standard nature of this font may cause permanent boredom. Do not allow your boredom with this font to show on your face, as it may get stuck that way.

 

*inserts infomercial* 

[Curiosity he/him]

You get ShamWowed!

 

*inserts bottle of vinegar*

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a can of salt and vinegar Pringles!

 

*inserts giant pot of clam chowder*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get a can of salt and vinegar Pringles!

 

*inserts giant pot of clam chowder*

You get a nt saying, 'what is this crem?'

 

*inserts peanut fondue*

[Sunbird she/her]

You get a nt saying, 'what is this crem?'

 

I am offend! I am myself making the chowder, and you will like!

 

*inserts peanut fondue*

 

You get a Sunbird happily dipping chocolates in the peanut fondue, mollified by your offering of sweets.

 

*inserts Adolin Kholin*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You get Shadolin shippers! 

 

*inserts Kaladin* 

[WayneSpren he/him]

You get the shard Honor.

 

*inserts Order of the Stick*

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You get the Stick of Honour!

I am offend! I am myself making the chowder, and you will like!

 

 

You get a Sunbird happily dipping chocolates in the peanut fondue, mollified by your offering of sweets.

 

*inserts Adolin Kholin*

What is chowder? Here, we have this thing called food

[Sunbird she/her]

You get the Stick of Honour!

What is chowder? Here, we have this thing called food

 

 

You didn't insert anything, so you get a handful of dust.

 

*inserts campfire*