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Posted
8 hours ago, Eluvianii said:

What would be the point of insulting you if a 5-year-old with a bagpipe can do a far more effective job of it with half the effort by competing with you to see who can be the first to make a coherent sentence and winning with his bagpipe, leaving your supposedly developed lungs too exhausted for you to realize that this didn't make any sense, in turn making you realize you gave your attention to this terribly structured sentence expecting to see an insult only to feel insulted by the absence of one? What a wonderful human being you'd have to be to just trust us with such a task. (your bane is that in the end it was a compliment) 

 I just woke up and saw this... I am not sure if I read it correctly, but I think you actually insulted yourself :D You said, "what would be the point of insulting you if a 5-year-old with a bagpipe can do a far more effective job of it with half the effort." this seems like it is saying that you will not insult me because a 5-year old can do it better easily...

Again, I may be wrong and misunderstood, but that is what it sounds like to me.

8 hours ago, Eluvianii said:

I wish for a litter box that cleans itself. 

bane: it never gets the chance to clean itself. It is never used.

I wish for a pet larkin

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Chasmgoat said:

I wish for a pet larkin

Granted. You are killed and turned into a cognitive shadow. Don't worry, your larkin comes with you!

I wish for a front-row seat to the end of the universe.

Edited by Nameless
Posted (edited)

Granted. You are endlessly alive with nothing to do until the end of the universe, at which point you watch it and then sit there forever.

I wish for Mistborn powers.

Edited by Condensation
Posted
1 hour ago, Condensation said:

I wish for Mistborn powers.

Granted, you are now a Steel Inquisitor in the Final Empire and you hear Ruin's voice in your head all the time.

I wish for the ability to go wherever I wish to go without having to pay for it

Posted
On 11/1/2020 at 3:48 AM, Condensation said:

Granted, your bane is that you're invisible. More of a bane than you think, read Things Not Seen.

I wish that Harmony would show up.

Nah, I'll take it

Granted, Harmony shows up, distributes Allomantic abilities: you become a gold Misting

I wish for... all the video games

Posted

Granted. You get them all but before you can play them, you have to play the dumbest video game ever.

Spoiler

I don't actually know what it is, but there is probably something out there that would kill you if you ever had to play it.

I wish for silksong.

Posted (edited)

Granted! But last second Team Cherry decided the title “Silksong” fitted Zote better, so now you get to play as him for sixty hours!

I wish for what I need the most.

Edited by Truthless of Shinovar
Posted
1 minute ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Granted! But last second Team Cherry decided the title “Silksong” fitted Zote better, so now you get to play as him for sixty hours!

I wish for what I need the most.

Awwww storms. Now I have to listen to Zote's arrogant ramblings for hours on end. 

Granted. What you need is not always what you want, so you get a big trantula crawling over your face. (Oh and your bane is that it's hungry)

I wish for something random.

 

Posted
1 hour ago, Shard of Reading said:

I wish for something random.

Granted. Did you know that Minecraft is a fun game? Well it isn't anymore. You now hate Minecraft.

 

I wish to get Dawnshard.

Guest Somebody from Scadrial
Posted
10 hours ago, Nameless said:

Granted. Did you know that Minecraft is a fun game? Well it isn't anymore. You now hate Minecraft.

 

I wish to get Dawnshard.

Ok but you use it to destroy Earth now you're homeless

I wish Nameless to get a name (and Nameless has to change their name to this :))

Posted
7 hours ago, Somebody from Sel said:

Ok but you use it to destroy Earth now you're homeless

I wish Nameless to get a name (and Nameless has to change their name to this :))

Granted, the name is Nameless. :P @Nameless

Posted
33 minutes ago, Condensation said:

Granted, the name is Nameless. :P @Nameless

Oh no, now I have to be Nameless.. That's annoying. Do you mind if I wait until after Ookla season to change it?;)

Posted
2 hours ago, Nameless said:

Oh no, now I have to be Nameless.. That's annoying. Do you mind if I wait until after Ookla season to change it?;)

Yes, I suppose you can wait until then.

I wish that I can get a yummy sandwich.

Posted
On 11/4/2020 at 0:27 AM, Condensation said:

I wish that I can get a yummy sandwich.

All your food turns into sandwiches. You're the sandwich Midas. Oh you like pasta? Poof! It's a sandwich now. Oh you like that book? Poof! It's a sandwich now. Oh you're sleepy? Poof! The bed is a sandwiches! Oh you need toilet paper?

 

I wish for my pockets to always have loose change

Posted
19 hours ago, Honorless said:

I wish for my pockets to always have loose change

Repeated wishes aren't cool! How dare you! (Unless you haven't wished for this before) Your bane is that your pockets will be constantly leaking change.

I wish for twice as much time.

Posted

Granted, now you perceive time at 0.5x speed. 

I wish for the ability to shoot lasers from my fingertips. 

Posted
On 11/9/2020 at 4:37 AM, Nameless said:

Repeated wishes aren't cool! How dare you! (Unless you haven't wished for this before) Your bane is that your pockets will be constantly leaking change.

I wish for twice as much time.

Hmm... have I? I don't remember. Heh, that bane just makes my boon even better! 

On 11/9/2020 at 4:57 AM, Eluvianii said:

I wish for the ability to shoot lasers from my fingertips. 

Granted but you can only do that if you're pointing at yourself, lol

 

I wish for a free virtual reality mass multi-player online rpg to participate in

Posted
On 11/11/2020 at 11:16 PM, Chasmgoat said:

I wish for a rabid butterfly.

Granted, you have a butterfly that's a rabid fan of the Star Wars prequels

 

I wish for all abandoned stories I've read to be completed

Posted (edited)
On 8/23/2020 at 10:20 AM, Honorless said:

Granted, you now have the power to make Rhythm of War (or any other book you've been waiting for) release early! There's a catch: human sacrifices. For every one person you kill, the release date moves closer by the exact amount of time it took your sacrifice to die after you inflicted the first cut.

Brb, making small cuts on as many terminally ill (and otherwise) people I can.

11 minutes ago, Honorless said:

Granted, you have a butterfly that's a rabid fan of the Star Wars prequels

 

I wish for all abandoned stories I've read to be completed

 

Granted, but you have to complete them, and you must do so in the exact way the original author had done.

 

I wish to have the power of Telepathy, such that I can both send and receive messages, to anyone I wish to, and within my conscious control.

 

Edited by The_Truthwatcher
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, The_Truthwatcher said:

I wish to have the power of Telepathy, such that I can both send and receive messages, to anyone I wish to, and within my conscious control.

Granted, but as no one else has telepathy, you can effectively only send messages to yourself

I wish for the ability to summon fashionable apparel

Edited by Honorless
Posted
3 hours ago, Honorless said:

Granted, but as no one else has telepathy, you can effectively only send messages to yourself

I wish for the ability to summon fashionable apparel

You can't do that though, my boon specifically asked to allow me to send messages to anyone

Posted
49 minutes ago, The_Truthwatcher said:

You can't do that though, my boon specifically asked to allow me to send messages to anyone

And you can! It's just that they don't have the tools to pick up your telepathic messages

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