The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdSandwich she/her]

5 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I steal your in-tune clarinet and use it to steal the Sandwich 

I am very mad at this. I turn into an angry dragon and steal my clarinet back.

5 minutes ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

I play my organ more dramatically than anyone ever thought possible. While you are all in awe, I take the Sandwich.

I eat your internal organs.

Just now, Unintelligenius said:

I play some bagpipes and leave all your jaws dropped. Then I summon the shark from JAWS and drop him on you, and he eats you. I stick my hand down the shark's throat, grab the Sandwich, and walk away.

I run after you and steal the Sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I run after you and steal the Sandwich.

I, having been at a swimming pool when you ran up and stole the Sandwich, point out that you are not allowed to run. The lifeguard blows their whistle and you have no choice but to relinquish the Sandwich as you are carried off to prison.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Just now, Unintelligenius said:

I, having been at a swimming pool when you ran up and stole the Sandwich, point out that you are not allowed to run. The lifeguard blows their whistle and you have no choice but to relinquish the Sandwich as you are carried off to prison.

I ask what swimming pools have prisons in them 

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I, having been at a swimming pool when you ran up and stole the Sandwich, point out that you are not allowed to run. The lifeguard blows their whistle and you have no choice but to relinquish the Sandwich as you are carried off to prison.

After ambiguously escaping the shark, I grab its tail, swing it around, and return to sender. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

9 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I ask what swimming pools have prisons in them 

All of them, you only really know about them if you've been in them or if you've been a gaurd for one, though it's a very selective, strenuous, and sought-after position. (to be a gaurd not a prisoner, to clarify)

6 minutes ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

After ambiguously escaping the shark, I grab its tail, swing it around, and return to sender. 

Being the owner of the shark when it returns to me I pat it on the head, point at you the shark hops back over to you.

Edited March 16 by Unintelligenius
spellllllling

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I tell a teacher and he arrests you for your atrocious spelling. He subsequently throws you in the same cell as me. I steal the Sandwich and break out of prison because I have superstrength now >:D. I lock you up in a different prison cell and flee the premises successfully.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

4 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

All of them, you only really know about them if you've been in them or if you've been a gaurd for one, though it's a very selective, strenuous, and sought-after position. (to be a gaurd not a prisoner, to clarify)

Being the owner of the shark when it returns to me I pat it on the head, point at you the shark hops back over to you.

I would like to apply to be a gaurd (which I initially misspelled as "gay", so I'd like to apply to be that too). I demonstrate my competence by befriending the shark in question. 

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

Due to my previous research, I created two things: the Anti-Sandwich and the Yellow Button.
The Anti-Sandwich is the opposite of the Sandwich: It is the most disgusting sandwich in all of history, and no one wants it. The Yellow Button has been attuned to the frequencies of the Sandwich and the Anti-Sandwich, and if you press it, it makes them swap places. 

I laugh maniacally and slowly move my finger to press the Yellow Button.

[___ He/Him]

1 minute ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

Due to my previous research, I created two things: the Anti-Sandwich and the Yellow Button.
The Anti-Sandwich is the opposite of the Sandwich: It is the most disgusting sandwich in all of history, and no one wants it. The Yellow Button has been attuned to the frequencies of the Sandwich and the Anti-Sandwich, and if you press it, it makes them swap places. 

I laugh maniacally and slowly move my finger to press the Yellow Button.

As you press it, I wave a magic wand and the button turns red. You are teleported into the center of the nearest star.

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

As you press it, I wave a magic wand and the button turns red. You are teleported into the center of the nearest star.

Not again...

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

6 hours ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I use a nullite spike to suppress KSOHS authorship just to prove him wrong

What is nullite?

2 hours ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

Due to my previous research, I created two things: the Anti-Sandwich and the Yellow Button.
The Anti-Sandwich is the opposite of the Sandwich: It is the most disgusting sandwich in all of history, and no one wants it. The Yellow Button has been attuned to the frequencies of the Sandwich and the Anti-Sandwich, and if you press it, it makes them swap places. 

I laugh maniacally and slowly move my finger to press the Yellow Button.

3 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I tell a teacher and he arrests you for your atrocious spelling. He subsequently throws you in the same cell as me. I steal the Sandwich and break out of prison because I have superstrength now >:D. I lock you up in a different prison cell and flee the premises successfully.

A random clone with no name was waiting for you outside, and he steals the sandwich before running off to Callisto.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

5 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I tell a teacher and he arrests you for your atrocious spelling. He subsequently throws you in the same cell as me. I steal the Sandwich and break out of prison because I have superstrength now >:D. I lock you up in a different prison cell and flee the premises successfully.

I starting chattin it up with the gaurd and he realized that I have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I hand it to him, and he immediately lets me go.

5 hours ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I would like to apply to be a gaurd (which I initially misspelled as "gay", so I'd like to apply to be that too). I demonstrate my competence by befriending the shark in question. 

As head of the gaurd I accept your application to be a gaurd. Unfortunately, I do not have the proper authority to accept other applications, so I tell you that you'll have to go to someone else for that. You start as a normal lifegaurd and if you prove yourself, you have the chance to climb the ranks and become a prison guard.

[Spahc11 He/Him]

As the descendant of Adonalsium, Pika (my name) is the proclaimed savior of the 16 Shards of Adonalsium. I summon them and hyperjump to Calisto with Doomslug. With my infinite Investiture, I snatch the sandwich from the random clone and hide in the galaxy - location undisclosed. (ik it doesn't work like that, but idc) and I know everything, the past, present and future. I know the future of this thread, and everything will trace back to me, Pika.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

9 minutes ago, Spahc11 said:

As the descendant of Adonalsium, Pika (my name) is the proclaimed savior of the 16 Shards of Adonalsium. I summon them and hyperjump to Calisto with Doomslug. With my infinite Investiture, I snatch the sandwich from the random clone and hide in the galaxy - location undisclosed. (ik it doesn't work like that, but idc) and I know everything, the past, present and future. I know the future of this thread, and everything will trace back to me, Pika.

Clone breathes differently from how he normally breathes, and now the future has changed.

The random clone bonks you on the head with the Maw 28 and steals back the sandwich.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I bribe the random clone with a cookie. I steal the Sandwich.

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

While my atoms are undergoing nuclear fusion in the center of the Sun, I ponder why we are all so dedicated to getting this Sandwich. Even if it is the most delicious Sandwich ever, why do we still want it so bad? Could there be more to it? Is it possible that the Sandwich emits a magical aura, attracting everyone to seek it? And if so, why?

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

20 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I starting chattin it up with the gaurd and he realized that I have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I hand it to him, and he immediately lets me go.

As head of the gaurd I accept your application to be a gaurd. Unfortunately, I do not have the proper authority to accept other applications, so I tell you that you'll have to go to someone else for that. You start as a normal lifegaurd and if you prove yourself, you have the chance to climb the ranks and become a prison guard.

I am very very excited and immediately quit my job for Sandwich persuit reasons.

2 hours ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

While my atoms are undergoing nuclear fusion in the center of the Sun, I ponder why we are all so dedicated to getting this Sandwich. Even if it is the most delicious Sandwich ever, why do we still want it so bad? Could there be more to it? Is it possible that the Sandwich emits a magical aura, attracting everyone to seek it? And if so, why?

I politely inform your atoms that the Sandwich simply is, and therefore it has disproved Schrodinger and multiple philosophers 

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

Just now, Through the Living Ink said:

I politely inform your atoms that the Sandwich simply is, and therefore it has disproved Schrodinger and multiple philosophers 

Makes sense.
Now a powerful being made out of plasma, I decide to summon a large amount of iron inside its core, causing the iron to drain heat from it. This stops the fusion process, causing the Sun to cool and degenerate into a cold, dense iron-rich white dwarf. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

7 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I bribe the random clone with a cookie. I steal the Sandwich.

The other random clone bonks you and steals it back

1 hour ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

Makes sense.
Now a powerful being made out of plasma, I decide to summon a large amount of iron inside its core, causing the iron to drain heat from it. This stops the fusion process, causing the Sun to cool and degenerate into a cold, dense iron-rich white dwarf. 

Nuh uh explosion first

The sun actually goes nova due to the imbalance between gravity and fusion pressure, and its outer layers spread outwards across the entire solar system. The inner planets get vapourised and so do many asteroids as well as Ceres. Jupiter is kind of fine, but a lot of its moons got vapourised too. Callisto and Europa are still here, as they were behind Jupiter when the sun exploded. 

Saturn & moons are mostly fine; not that it mattered much, Titan had been blown up a long time ago.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

10 hours ago, Spahc11 said:

As the descendant of Adonalsium, Pika (my name) is the proclaimed savior of the 16 Shards of Adonalsium. I summon them and hyperjump to Calisto with Doomslug. With my infinite Investiture, I snatch the sandwich from the random clone and hide in the galaxy - location undisclosed. (ik it doesn't work like that, but idc) and I know everything, the past, present and future. I know the future of this thread, and everything will trace back to me, Pika.

I wipe your memory.

3 hours ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I am very very excited and immediately quit my job for Sandwich persuit reasons.

I hunt you down and imprison you in a pool's prison because you aren't allowed to quit being a lifeguard. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

17 hours ago, Through The Living KSauce said:

The other random clone bonks you and steals it back

Nuh uh explosion first

The sun actually goes nova due to the imbalance between gravity and fusion pressure, and its outer layers spread outwards across the entire solar system. The inner planets get vapourised and so do many asteroids as well as Ceres. Jupiter is kind of fine, but a lot of its moons got vapourised too. Callisto and Europa are still here, as they were behind Jupiter when the sun exploded. 

Saturn & moons are mostly fine; not that it mattered much, Titan had been blown up a long time ago.

The hamster, it, is very sad.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

The hamster, it, is very sad.

So sad that he goes on a rampage and steals the Sandwich and then throws it in a fit, and it just happens to coincidentally land in my waiting hands.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

it is very sad to be in your waiting hands, but I am happy because I catch the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

20 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I wipe your memory.

I hunt you down and imprison you in a pool's prison because you aren't allowed to quit being a lifeguard. 

I commit arson while whistling a wildly out of tune bad pop song 

[___ He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I commit arson while whistling a wildly out of tune bad pop song 

I decide to go to the snowy top of a mountain, pat a bunny on the head, and ponder life under an overhang for many ages and ages.