The Battle for the Sandwich

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

11 hours ago, Through The Living Ash said:

I am apparently now burning alive. Cool. I use my burnyness to burn the cult of the stick and take the sandwich from its charred remains. 

Trout, having re-established on Triton, now has access to an abundance of liquid nitrogen. He dumps some on you, then takes the sandwich while you're distracted.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I pour lava on you and grab the Sandwich as you are inconvenienced by said lava.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

25 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I pour lava on you and grab the Sandwich as you are inconvenienced by said lava.

I dump a ton of ice on your head, shout "Look! A penguin!" and grab the Sandwich while you're distracted 

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

1 hour ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I dump a ton of ice on your head, shout "Look! A penguin!" and grab the Sandwich while you're distracted 

I throw an actual penguin at you, causing it to violently peck your arm. I grab the Sandwich when you drop it.

 

Edited March 9 by ThatOneGuyOverThere

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I smite all of you standing nearby with giant laser beams. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, Through The Living Ash said:

I smite all of you standing nearby with giant laser beams. 

I unsmite myself and everyone else. Then I throw a a fireball at you. Then I throw a motorcycle at @ThatOneGuyOverThere and grab the Sandwich 

[Verdance he/him]

4 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I unsmite myself and everyone else. Then I throw a a fireball at you. Then I throw a motorcycle at @ThatOneGuyOverThere and grab the Sandwich 

I smile, attempting a charisma check. Rolling a twenty sided die, I roll a 1. Combined with my natural charisma modifier of -4, the end charisma score is -3. You become so afraid of my ugly teeth that you drop the Sandwich and run away.

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

1 hour ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I smile, attempting a charisma check. Rolling a twenty sided die, I roll a 1. Combined with my natural charisma modifier of -4, the end charisma score is -3. You become so afraid of my ugly teeth that you drop the Sandwich and run away.

After a slight inconvenience involving a flung motorized vehicle, I attract a nearby herd of bison to come and ruin the fields of several farming villages. I then convince the angry villagers that you are the reason for their sorrows and a witch, with the source of your power being the Sandwich. There is now a sizable mob coming your way.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, Unintelligenius said:

I unsmite myself and everyone else. Then I throw a a fireball at you. Then I throw a motorcycle at @ThatOneGuyOverThere and grab the Sandwich 

Me being already burny, the fireball is entirely ineffective. 

1 hour ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I smile, attempting a charisma check. Rolling a twenty sided die, I roll a 1. Combined with my natural charisma modifier of -4, the end charisma score is -3. You become so afraid of my ugly teeth that you drop the Sandwich and run away.

But it was just a dream... (bold)

[Verdance he/him]

48 minutes ago, Through The Living Ash said:

Me being already burny, the fireball is entirely ineffective. 

But it was just a dream... (bold)

Weird. I swear I bolded it. 
unfortunately, the laws metanarration disallow a repeat of the dice i rolled in a dream. So, i roll a six sided die, but it falls of the table and doesnt count. A ferret appears and eats my dice, then runs away and steals the sandwich while i stare angrily.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

4 hours ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Weird. I swear I bolded it. 
unfortunately, the laws metanarration disallow a repeat of the dice i rolled in a dream. So, i roll a six sided die, but it falls of the table and doesnt count. A ferret appears and eats my dice, then runs away and steals the sandwich while i stare angrily.

The ferret brings the sandwich to me and I give it a potted plant in exchange. 

[Katalri_105 They/her]

9 hours ago, Through The Living Ash said:

The ferret brings the sandwich to me and I give it a potted plant in exchange. 

I shoot an arrow at your hand, and give the ferret a full 6 person tea set in exchange for retrieving the sandwich as you are reasonably distracted by the arrow in your now bleeding hand.

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

15 minutes ago, Katalri_105 said:

I shoot an arrow at your hand, and give the ferret a full 6 person tea set in exchange for retrieving the sandwich as you are reasonably distracted by the arrow in your now bleeding hand.

A falcon swoops down, mauls you, and steals the Sandwich. It returns to me and gives me the Sandwich

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, Katalri_105 said:

I shoot an arrow at your hand, and give the ferret a full 6 person tea set in exchange for retrieving the sandwich as you are reasonably distracted by the arrow in your now bleeding hand.

The arrow wrenches itself through my hand and turns around, sniping the ferret through the neck. 

1 hour ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

A falcon swoops down, mauls you, and steals the Sandwich. It returns to me and gives me the Sandwich

Or at least tries to. As it approaches you, the falcon freezes perfectly still in midair, then starts slowly drifting backwards. 

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Through The Living Ash said:

The arrow wrenches itself through my hand and turns around, sniping the ferret through the neck. 

Or at least tries to. As it approaches you, the falcon freezes perfectly still in midair, then starts slowly drifting backwards. 

I hit the bird down with a crossbow and grab the Sandwich from its claws. I convince the angry mob to keep you busy.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

12 minutes ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

I hit the bird down with a crossbow and grab the Sandwich from its claws. I convince the angry mob to keep you busy.

I Soothe away the mob's anger and the people disperse. Under my orders, multiple fish with legs rush over to you wielding spears and laser guns. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I accidentally burn water. I steal the Sandwich in the ensuing chaos.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

11 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I accidentally burn water. I steal the Sandwich in the ensuing chaos.

…what?

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

41 minutes ago, Through The Living Ash said:

I Soothe away the mob's anger and the people disperse. Under my orders, multiple fish with legs rush over to you wielding spears and laser guns. 

I summon a vanguard of giant undead feral rabbits to combat the legged fish.

27 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I accidentally burn water. I steal the Sandwich in the ensuing chaos.

Does that mean water is on fire?
Watire?

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

I summon a vanguard of giant undead feral rabbits to combat the legged fish.

Does that mean water is on fire?
Watire?

The fish provide cover fire as I move towards the sandwich. 

[___ He/Him]

I jump into the scene with a giant screen and start playing this video.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

17 minutes ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

I jump into the scene with a giant screen and start playing this video.

I click the link without bothering to check if it's a virus.

I curse your existence (politely).

[___ He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I click the link without bothering to check if it's a virus.

I curse your existence (politely).

I cackle

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

1 hour ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

I jump into the scene with a giant screen and start playing this video.

NOOOOOO, MY ONE WEAKNESS! I throw several grenades at the screen.

I then advance towards the Sandwich.

Edited March 10 by ThatOneGuyOverThere

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 hours ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

I jump into the scene with a giant screen and start playing this video.

I’m assuming that’s a rickroll…

1 hour ago, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

NOOOOOO, MY ONE WEAKNESS! I throw several grenades at the screen.

I then advance towards the Sandwich.

The grenades bounce harmlessly off the screen.