The Battle for the Sandwich

[Unintelligenius he/him]

4 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

All your customers die of aluminum poisoning and you lose all the prestige you gained from your Shadesmar economy.

I would be sad, but I still have the Sandwich and Jerome, so we run off to Antarctica. 

[___ He/Him]

I come back from the beyond, steal the sandwich, then nuke Antarctica.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I get blown up.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I think this is all part of my 3D movie so I watch it with my 3D glasses on.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I summon a dome around the sandwich made out of aluminum fish with legs. 

[___ He/Him]

When I came back from the beyond, I secretly bonded a time spren. I manipulate the time stream so that in this universe aluminum doesn't exist. Then I speed up time around all the fish, aging them rapidly, and they all fall to skeletons around me.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

5 minutes ago, sneak spooky spook guy said:

When I came back from the beyond, I secretly bonded a time spren. I manipulate the time stream so that in this universe aluminum doesn't exist. Then I speed up time around all the fish, aging them rapidly, and they all fall to skeletons around me.

A fish appears in front of you and slaps you. 

[___ He/Him]

1 minute ago, epl2 said:

A fish appears in front of you and slaps you. 

I compound pewter and slap it back

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

It isn't very happy with you. It continues to slap you. 

[___ He/Him]

I give it some fish food

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

It eats the fish food. 

 

A massive wall of fish with legs appears between you and the sandwich. 

[___ He/Him]

I quantum tunnel through it by thinking hard about qubits and then grab the sandwich

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

The fish surround you. 

[___ He/Him]

I age them to death again

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

This time, as they start dropping dead around you, new fish appear to take their place. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

As everyone (non personified) panics about the dead fish, I, a living fish, stroll through my dying comrades to take possession of that which I have sought for millennia—the sandwich. 

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I am engrossed in the “movie”.

[___ He/Him]

24 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

As everyone (non personified) panics about the dead fish, I, a living fish, stroll through my dying comrades to take possession of that which I have sought for millennia—the sandwich. 

And then a giant dead fish falls on you and smushes you into little bits.

[Edema Rue she/her]

4 minutes ago, sneak spooky spook guy said:

And then a giant dead fish falls on you and smushes you into little bits.

I, the little bits, coalesce sadly and begin oozing back onto the sandwich.

[___ He/Him]

I carefully cut off the ooze with nightblood (while compounding investiture)

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

The ooze gets dogpiled by a bunch of fish with legs. 

[___ He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

The ooze gets dogpiled by a bunch of fish with legs. 

I disappear somewhere with the sandwich

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I follow you to somewhere, taking the fish with me (except for the ones that were handling the ooze). 

[___ He/Him]

I offer to trade you an unkeyed nicrosilmind completely filled with investiture to let me keep the sandwich. If you take this offer, I will bind you to your oath using the super-honorblade. While you are deciding, I create a bubble of slowed down time around me, but not touching me. If you try to come through, or anything else tries to come through, it will instantly slow down to an extreme slowness, regardless of the speed it was moving before.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 minutes ago, sneak spooky spook guy said:

I offer to trade you an unkeyed nicrosilmind completely filled with investiture to let me keep the sandwich. If you take this offer, I will bind you to your oath using the super-honorblade. While you are deciding, I create a bubble of slowed down time around me, but not touching me. If you try to come through, or anything else tries to come through, it will instantly slow down to an extreme slowness, regardless of the speed it was moving before.

That was a lot of effort to stop me when I had no intention of taking it. 

I accept the offer. Not that it does much for me.