The Battle for the Sandwich

[-ACE- he/him]

I eat their not legs and steal someone's rip-off sandwich.

I then realized it is not THE sandwich, so I go hunting for a wild THE sandwich with my arsenal of Brandon Sanderson's books to use as projectiles

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

That was okay because the fish could fly, the legs were just cosmetic. They set up in a formation around @coinshot1

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 hour ago, epl2 said:

That was okay because the fish could fly, the legs were just cosmetic. They set up in a formation around @coinshot1

I use Megaborn compounding, like Fullborn but with way more kinds of investiture. With aluminum compounding, all of my clones merge into one (first time aluminum was actually useful). I now have 2 sentient chulls, mathematical Radiance and the super-mega-Honorblade. I use quantum tunneling and all the surges to destroy the fish army.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

34 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I use Megaborn compounding, like Fullborn but with way more kinds of investiture. With aluminum compounding, all of my clones merge into one (first time aluminum was actually useful). I now have 2 sentient chulls, mathematical Radiance and the super-mega-Honorblade. I use quantum tunneling and all the surges to destroy the fish army.

The fish dodge. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

19 hours ago, strmblsd said:

i secretly kidnap Jerome and hold him hostage. 

I free Jerome and blow up your house. Then I throw you off a cliff. Then Jerome and I go off to find the Sandwich. 

[___ He/Him]

23 minutes ago, epl2 said:

The fish dodge. 

They dodge right into an elsegate I just opened and then I close it. The elsegate led into the Dor in shadesmar. The fish are instantly vaporized.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

15 hours ago, coinshot1 said:

They dodge right into an elsegate I just opened and then I close it. The elsegate led into the Dor in shadesmar. The fish are instantly vaporized.

I, who am still standing right next to you, summon another army of fish with legs that is twice as big. They completely surround you. 

[___ He/Him]

I poke you in the face with nightblood, vaporizing you, and then I go on a fish destroying rampage, still compounding investiture with my nicrosilminds so I don't get vaporized myself.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I recondense, then make the fish have aluminum scales. 

[Through the Living Wrath he/him]

2 hours ago, epl2 said:

I recondense, then make the fish have aluminum scales. 

I take a scale and perform science-magicings on it. Before then, though, I make sure that the spoiler is flushed so I can then throw the fish down the toilet and follow it through the sewers towards my ultimate goal… the The THE SANDWICH!

[___ He/Him]

20 minutes ago, SpiritOfWrath said:

I take a scale and perform science-magicings on it. Before then, though, I make sure that the spoiler is flushed so I can then throw the fish down the toilet and follow it through the sewers towards my ultimate goal… the The THE SANDWICH!

Then I stab you in face with nightblood. I teleport away again, using Ishar's honorblade to sever the Connection with where I just was, making it impossible to track me. I continue doing this all around the Universe until I am totally untraceable.

[Through the Living Wrath he/him]

3 minutes ago, coinshot1 said:

Then I stab you in face with nightblood. I teleport away again, using Ishar's honorblade to sever the Connection with where I just was, making it impossible to track me. I continue doing this all around the Universe until I am totally untraceable.

I get itirSp to track the The Sandwich, because he has a compass from like a thousand pages ago. Yeha!

itirSp then fights me over the The Sandwich, and utterly wins.

[___ He/Him]

except that you still havent taken it from me.

i destroy itirSp with nightblood and then run away again

[Through the Living Wrath he/him]

20 minutes ago, coinshot1 said:

except that you still havent taken it from me.

i destroy itirSp with nightblood and then run away again

itirSp cannot be destroyed.

This is his way.

[___ He/Him]

3 minutes ago, SpiritOfWrath said:

itirSp cannot be destroyed.

This is his way.

Well then I send him to a pit of eternal suffering.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

16 minutes ago, coinshot1 said:

Well then I send him to a pit of eternal suffering.

While you are sending itirSp away, I send you away, and you are so sad that you don't even notice when I take the Sandwich. Jerome and I celebrate with milkshakes.

[___ He/Him]

except that the sandwich that you took was actually a really good lightweaving with substance.

I run away cackling like a maniac. Then I trip and drop the sandwich into the pit of eternal suffering. I kneel in front of the pit, staring down into its depths with a horrified look on my face.

"NNNOOOOOOooOOooOOOOOoOoOOoOOoooOoooooOOooOoooooooo..." I scream, then stab myself in the face with nightblood.

Edited May 16, 2025 by coinshot1

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, coinshot1 said:

except that the sandwich that you took was actually a really good lightweaving with substance.

I run away cackling like a maniac. Then I trip and drop the sandwich into the pit of eternal suffering. I kneel in front of the pit, staring down into its depths with a horrified look on my face.

"NNNOOOOOOooOOooOOOOOoOoOOoOOoooOoooooOOooOoooooooo..." I scream, then stab myself in the face with nightblood.

Feeling the severed connection, I pick up Nightblood and hurl it at the sandwich, sending it to the Beyond with @coinshot1.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

All of the fish and I kill ourselves and go to the Beyond to follow the sandwich. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, epl2 said:

All of the fish and I kill ourselves and go to the Beyond to follow the sandwich. 

I give one of my sentient chulls the Dustbringer Honorblade and send it to the Beyond to guard @coinshot1 and the sandwich. I must stay in the Physical Realm.

And yes, because of all the AU stuff, there is one super-mega-Honorblade and a set of 10 normal ones. There are also another set of ten, but the location of those are unknown. They're probably in the Dreamscape somewhere...

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 minute ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I give one of my sentient chulls the Dustbringer Honorblade and send it to the Beyond to guard @coinshot1 and the sandwich. I must stay in the Physical Realm.

And yes, because of all the AU stuff, there is one super-mega-Honorblade and a set of 10 normal ones. There are also another set of ten, but the location of those are unknown. They're probably in the Dreamscape somewhere...

The fish and I concur. 

I did not catch that part, but whatever. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

19 hours ago, coinshot1 said:

except that the sandwich that you took was actually a really good lightweaving with substance.

I run away cackling like a maniac. Then I trip and drop the sandwich into the pit of eternal suffering. I kneel in front of the pit, staring down into its depths with a horrified look on my face.

"NNNOOOOOOooOOooOOOOOoOoOOoOOoooOoooooOOooOoooooooo..." I scream, then stab myself in the face with nightblood.

I eat the really good lightweaving with substance and I tell Jerome I'll give him a banana if he brings me the Sandwich. He runs off and comes back with the Sandwich in hand and I reward him with a delicious banana.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I am recreated from pure Investiture, and summon another army of aluminum fish with legs around @Uninteligenius and Jerome. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

6 hours ago, epl2 said:

I am recreated from pure Investiture, and summon another army of aluminum fish with legs around @Uninteligenius and Jerome. 

I slice off all of their legs and they become normal fish. Then I cook them up and sell them and make lots of money. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

6 hours ago, Uninteligenius said:

I slice off all of their legs and they become normal fish. Then I cook them up and sell them and make lots of money. 

All your customers die of aluminum poisoning and you lose all the prestige you gained from your Shadesmar economy.