The Battle for the Sandwich

[NameIess]

I pay for it by suing you for framing my client for breaking through the ceiling when he definitely didn't do that, and then I steal the sandwich and leave the country.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Nameless*

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i hack the airport security and hijack the plane, bringing the sandwich to me.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 minutes ago, Nameless* said:

I pay for it by suing you for framing my client for breaking through the ceiling when he definitely didn't do that, and then I steal the sandwich and leave the country.

I say that you didn't steal it and that there is a hole in my roof where there wasn't before, thus winning the suit. The court tracks you down for an improper suit and the police track you down for theft, delivering the sandwich back to me and locking you up.

1 minute ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

i hack the airport security and hijack the plane, bringing the sandwich to me.

The airport has no remote control for the planes so your plan failed.

[NameIess]

4 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

I say that you didn't steal it and that there is a hole in my roof where there wasn't before, thus winning the suit. The court tracks you down for an improper suit and the police track you down for theft, delivering the sandwich back to me and locking you up.

This causes an international incident that leads to world war 3, as the country I fled to did not allow extradition to the country I fled from. During the chaos of the war, I start putting together an elite task force to secure the sandwich.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i end world war three and take the sandwich as a reward from stopping the tragedy.

[NameIess]

My elite team steals the sandwich, and then I kill them all and escape into space so that no one can steal the sandwich from me.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Cacophony I swear if you kill my snail I will end you.

The snail screams a battle cry.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

as do i, and begin plotting with the snail to take back the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 minute ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

as do i, and begin plotting with the snail to take back the sandwich.

The snail makes some snail noises.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i create a translator for the snail so we can talk with each other.

this is absurd. i love it.

Edited October 2, 2023 by TheRavenHasLanded

[Edema Rue she/her]

7 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

i create a translator for the snail so we can talk with each other.

this is absurd. i love it.

The snail says, in a rather posh British accent, that it wants to steal the sandwich.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i nod along and ask if it has a plan.

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 minute ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

i nod along and ask if it has a plan.

“wE sHaLl inViTe tHe SaNdWicH hoLdER tO LUncH”

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i nod, saying "ok?"

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail sends Nameless a very polite letter inviting him to lunch.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

it takes ten days to send because it was sent by snail mail.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

I return to FGaRS solely for the purpose of stealing the sandwich. I use magics and whatnots to steal the sandwich. Many bothans died to get me the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 minute ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

it takes ten days to send because it was sent by snail mail.

ouch

Meanwhile, the snail makes friends with Elan.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Edema Rue said:

ouch

Meanwhile, the snail makes friends with Elan.

Elan grins. He hands the snail a jolly rancher that he got from nowhere.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

it was kinda low hanging fruit for a joke.

i stand by and also make a friendship with elan.

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail gobbles it up, then seems to disappear. In reality, it's hiding in the sandwich.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i begin looking for the snail, confused on how it disappeared.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

Cacophony I swear if you kill my snail I will end you.

The snail screams a battle cry.

you killed both my TLT characters a while ago. REVENGE IS MINE!!!!!

Spoiler

I wasn't even going to kill it, but now that you put the idea in my head...  

Platypus takes a large bite. Not of the sandwich, of his dinner. Then he tracks down the holder, and dragon kicks them into next week. He takes the snail out of the sandwich and throws it into the nearby volcano. He wasn't sure if it was active, dormant, or extinct, but whatever it was, he wasn't sorry.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i feel righteous anger and save the snail.

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail appreciates you.