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HEY NEBRASKANS

GUESS WHAT BASTARDS

I MIGHT BE COMIN TO SEE YALL

WITH MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHES AWESOME

SO

YEAH

DETAILS AT SOME POINT

people often ask me

”cal, how did you manage to pull such a hot girlfriend?”

and i always respond with one word:

”autism.”

considering pulling an all nighter

thoughts?

8 minutes into june 1st.

which means 8 minutes into PRIDE MONTH.

i am a proud omnisexual and genderfluid individual, a solid ally to all those just trying to exist and be good and live a life worth living.

happy pride month everybody. love you all so much, NEVER stop being you.

okay so i know that like

a bunch of yall are Nebraska folks.

now, with that in mind, how about this:

i turn 18 at the end of june, so what if i were to take a road trip in like mid-july, and come up and visit yall? thoughts?

wanna see more random crap from me?

follow my whatsapp channel

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VafgvfEIt5rtaRDcNn0V

okay chat so like

i graduated high school

thirteen long years, same campus, i’ve watched it grow so much over that time. been one hell of a ride, you guys.

but i did it. im free now.

seons are just

Floating Butler Balls

ladies and gentlemen

today my mission papers were officially submitted.

the wait begins.

last night i went to the Austin stop on AJRs The Maybe Man Tour. Floor seats. Great view, great sound, i cried three times.

Shared the evening with my beloved @Crowstavern, and i was screaming all the words. it was a night to remember, i’ll never forget it. the whole show was a work of art.

i wish i was me, whoever that is.

i could just be, and not give a sh*t

hey, ill be whatever makes you a fan

cause i dont know who the hell i am

i think its too late to figure this out

if i could be me i would’ve been it by now

maybe im a stone

or big as my house

it looks like our time is running out

so if this is me, then ill do my best

ill take all the sh*t, so you never have to

you can be you

and i’ll be the rest

yeah, maybe that’s who the hell i am

happy to report i’ve successfully defeated Tears of the Kingdom

defeated the Demon King

all three stages 

one try

week long grind for this

there is pain

and there is sorrow

but nothing compares

to watching the light leave somebody’s eyes

when they say,

”you know,

i don’t think i ever loved you.”

there is pain behind that.

because not even a month ago you said to them,

”look into my eyes,

see my pain. my sins. my horrors.

look there, into my eyes,

and love me.”

and they said,

”i will.”

and now

they see you with contempt

with hatred 

with regret and animosity

and they just want you gone.

song idea maybe????:

bay blue

baby blue

sky blue eyes

my girl, my love

with eyes like stars,

could never tell me lies

BEGIN LOG

If love is so fragile, then why continue to repair it after it cracks?

Once it has filled its surface with this many cracks, wouldn’t it be easier to leave it be and let it decay and shatter and fall apart over time?

Yes. It would be easier.

But that doesn’t mean it’s the correct thing to do.

Love is so fragile because it needs to be constantly repaired. It is an essential part of love, that need for constant repair, for maintenance, for reassurance of devotion.

Some may wonder why to keep that lamp on, to keep its ornate ceramic looking beautiful, despite the cracks.

“Look at your lamp,” They say, “It is cracked and flawed. Shouldn’t you discard it and put a new flawless copy in its place?”

And I say to them, “You know nothing of this. This lamp has seen much. Endured much. It’s stories are nestled in the cracks spreading across its ceramic. It’s journey is weaved into the stone it is made of as if a testament of all it has seen and heard. Is this not a sign of flawless and perfect existence? Perfection in imperfection?”

This lamp, this love..

It will dim. It will brighten. Sometimes the power will blink out, leaving us in the dark.

But the lights will come back on. And we will fight to love. We will choose to love, and to live, and we will nurture the cracks. Let them settle. And when someone asks about them, we will tell that story.

I will engrave bluebirds into our lamp. I will stamp ravens to the surface, let crows flutter onto the stone. I will put roses, and chrysanthemums, and moonflowers and sunflowers, and I will sprinkle it in color so that when it is finished, it will be colorful in ways you only could have dreamed of.

I have made mistakes. I have cracked our lamp. I will mend the crack. I will transform it into something beautiful. I will build on it, and build into a future with you. 

This is my vow to you.