Jaywalk

Happy freaking birthday!! 

Happy birthday!

In 5 days, I'll be living in a world where the first 3 episodes of The Wheel of Time have premiered, and I'm simultaneously hyped as heck, and surreally wondering how this is actually happening. 

I finally got a job! I’ll be cleaning for an old lady twice a week. She’s paying me $20 an hour which is pretty sick. I start next Saturday and I’m super excited

I miss reading :\

I need recommendations.

Some status updates:

1. Oh BOY have I been depressed lately. 
2. I'm going to bleach my hair white. 
3. I did get over my little inspiration hump. I'm currently working on a poster for the Masquerade RP and after that I'll probably work on one for CBST. 
4. Marching band camp is coming up and... Please pray for me, I dunno how I'm going to get through this. I hate marching band with my heart and soul, it hurts my shoulders so much and I die in the heat. 
5. Speaking of pain, I did too much yoga yesterday and my shoulders hurt s o  m u c h

*DND group gets in a longer-than-you'd-think discussion about sticky notes vs pop-up sticky notes and which is normal* 
"These are normal, those are pop-up" - Po after doing research 
"Those are cool, yours are lame papers with glue!" (paraphrased) 

"The average human is like ten HP right" (this is just funny out of context) 

My character: "Hi can I play cards with you -" 
Other character: *promptly grabs my character and yeets them at the kobolds* 
DM: "do you resist this, Ene" 
Me: "no" 
*the kobold dies on impact* 

Okay now the session has devolved into incorrect quotes generator and I'm loving it. Most of these are randomly generated, with me just inputting names: 

Ene: Stick and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Truth: *sighing* What did Stick do?
Ene: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and - 
Stick: Who wants a steering wheel? 

Ene: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Stick: You were flirting with Truth.
Ene: So what? They're my partner.
Stick: You asked them if they were single. 
Ene: 
Stick: And then you cried when they said they weren't. 

Ene: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Star: If? 
Xino: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die. 

Tesh, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Salad, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Knight: what the frick are you guys doing?
Tesh: playing systemic oppression

Ene: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Salad: The car takes a screenshot.

Mist: I think we're missing something.
Goat: Teamwork?
Vapor: Cohesion?
Fadran: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Fadran, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Queen, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Kindness, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Connie, trembling: What are we playing

Safire: You know those things will kill you, right?
June, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Luna, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Beram: *nods while eating raw cookie dough* 

Ene: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Witless: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Po: More or less, I guess...
Archer: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Ink: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Tesh: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on! 

*the squad right before Ene's wedding*
Ink: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Po: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Archer: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Tesh: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Witless, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Maybe I should have Witless officiate my wedding... 

Fritz: What does 'take out' mean?
Stick: Food 
Ene: Dating
Truth: Murder
Hen: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A COWARD. 

Adilie: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Eryn: Rude.
Drae: That’s fair.
Ladashwy: Not again.
Marie: Are you going to want this back? 

Marie: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a RUSTING THREAT. 

Marie: *Stubs their toe* RUSTS! 
Adilie: Mind your language!
Marie: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Adilie: ... 
Marie: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes. 

Marie: Go to Hell
Kelsier, tearing up: I wish I could

Po: What are your goals?
Ene: To pet all the dogs.
Po: No, fitness goals.
Ene: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Cassie, standing with her back turned: I’ve been expecting you, James.
James: How did you do that without turning around?
Cassie: ...to be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Ben: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Shana: You're like 15 years old
Ben: I MIGHT DIE AT 30! 

Jace: What time is it?
Ax: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Ax: *plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Doc: WHO THE STORMS IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Ax: It’s 2 am

Mist: WHY. why did you give Emi a KNIFE?! 
Star: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. 
Mist: Now I feel unsafe! 
Star: I’m sorry. 
Star: ...would you like a knife? 

@theTruthshaper @AonDii @Shard of Thought @xinoehp512 @Tesh @The Awakened Salad @Knight of Iron @Mist ill tag the rest of you later it about to die

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAAAAYYYYYYYYY 

Happy birthday Jaywalk!

Welp, my Shardiversary snuck up on me this year, so I didn’t have enough time to make any art, I hope you’ll forgive me. (I might come up with something later though) However, I did have plenty of time to write up some words that I hope are meaningful.

Two years, man. Honestly, that sounds way too short. Waaaaay too much has happened in that time for it to only have been two years. Huge strides in planning Keyed with @xinoehp512, getting so much better at my art that it’s mind-blowing, being diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and cyclic vomiting syndrome, getting into yoga, going from middle school to high school, and ya know, everything having to do with that little global pandemic, maybe you heard about it. I won’t lie, the last year has been incredibly hard for me. I’ve had some of the lowest lows I can remember… but also some of the highest highs, like getting to meet up with @Butt Ad Venture in the summer and having such a blast with Inktober. But ya know, one thing I have learned this year is that times when you’re the most broken down are the times that you get to connect the deepest with other people. Kinda personal, I suppose, but for most of my life I’ve been in the role of helping other people. And this year… this year that got reversed. And it felt good. Really good. So now it’s my turn to thank you guys for that.  

First I gotta shout out @xinoehp512. I know I tell you this all the time, but you mean more to me than you could possibly know and nobody in the world could possibly replace you. Each word you say is precious to me and getting to know you this past year has been a magical adventure. All the hugs, my buddy.  

Second, @Butt Ad Venture. You are a handful and it is honestly a miracle that we are still friends after all our ups and downs. But through it all, I have been amazed at your ability to apologize and, more importantly, to forgive. Stars know I don’t deserve a good amount of that forgiveness. You’ve grown so much since I met you and I am immensely proud of that growth. Your heart and soul are among the most precious I have ever had the privilege of getting to know. 

@AonEne, I have no idea how we had such a rocky start, but it has been a joy to get to know you. Thanks again for the notebooks, for the emotional support, and for your unwavering, yet gentle and kind personality. The world needs more people like you. 

It’s quite the incredible experience to get to know someone so jarringly similar to yourself and for me, that’s @Jaywalk. You are a riot and a gem; your writing, your humor, and your personality are *chef’s kiss* I know this year has been hard for you and while I cannot promise that anything will get better, I can promise that my heart goes out to you and that you WILL get through this. You’re stronger than you think and you’re amazing. All the hugs for you, too. 

@BringerofShadows, I miss talking with you so much. Whatever you’re up to nowadays, I hope you’re not overworked and that you keep a little snark and magic in your pocket. I love your unapologetic personality and massive presence and wish you well. 

@AonDii, keep being your fabulous self. I said on the yearbook thread that you can do anything and I really believe that’s true. I mean seriously, the real question is what CAN’T you do. You cook like a boss, you fence, you play the double bass, you do rainbow loom stuff, and read epic fantasy??? Bruh. You’re awesome. (Like you need to be told that ) 

@I Don't Know I miss you so much and I hope I can see your face soon. I’m so glad that we’ve been able to keep in touch even though you’ve moved away. You are a wonderful friend. 

@Truthless of Shinovar and @Rosharan A.C. you are the most dynamic duo ever. Keep being excellent, keep bringing your energy to everything. 

@Lunamor you’re great. I nominated you for Most Likely To Brighten Your Day for the yearbook (as well as Friendliest Sharder I think????) and I totally stand by that. You are an icon.  

@Nathrangking you are just about the most earnest person I know. I’m so glad you’re on the Shard.

@Condensation, @Channelknight Fadran, @Hentient, @Matrim's Dice, @Mist, @Bearer of all agonies, and @revelryintheart. Y’all are the new kids and I haven’t gotten to know you guys very well. But from what I have seen…

Connie, you are incredibly positive and fun to be around. I’m so glad you like Crime and Punishment as much as I do. 

Fadran, I know you deny compliments often, but trust me. The moment I met you, I was like, “... Dang, yeah, I can see why this dude is as popular as he’s become.” You are absolutely hilarious and you have a very unique vibe. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I’m sure people would agree with me.  

Hentient, your bright, enthusiastic energy is dangerously contagious. If you’re not careful, you could cure someone’s depression.  

Matrim (and @Tesh) it was so fun to make Secret Santa gifts for you. Previously, making art for gifts wasn’t really something I did but this year I saw how happy it made people and that was a super gratifying experience.

Mist, I love the dynamic you have with your sisters. I remember when I first saw your usernames, they were all on the “recently browsing” of a thread I was reading and I thought, Wow, what a funny coincidence. Knowing you’re all sisters is so bliving awesome. But aside from that, I love being a mod with you on the LDS server and I’ll never forget how friendly you were to me the first time we talked. 

Bearer, I love the work you’ve done on the yearbook and I’m so glad you’re part of the Oakenwey RP. (same with you, @Lecky Twig, I am so freaking happy that RP has taken off and your character is so fun )

And finally Rev, your art is incredible and so are you.

WHOOOO, that was a lot. Happy new year, everyone! Thank you for tolerating me, I love you all.  

Well y'all, I'm back. I may or may not have ignored all of my physical needs to read Rhythm of War in just over 24 hours

Guys. 

Don't quote people unnecessarily, out of habit and the like. Especially long posts. It just makes threads visually messy. And that's annoying. 

 Have a nice day. 

Okay. Story time!

I've always thought it'd be really cool to write a piece of fiction, or (dare I say it) a book. Obviously, I don't have the experience or knowledge for anything too drastic, but there's been this idea floating around in my head for a while. I keep telling myself I don’t need to perfect it, just start writing and let my brain belch out everything that’s going on inside of it. The details can come later. So, when I came across the 50-word Fiction thread, I knew what I had to do. Here’s what I wrote! I know there’s not a whole lot of context, but thoughts? Comments?

Sky

The small boat drifts forward. Ripples flow to either side. Above, the endless sky. And below… the endless sky. A cloud floats downwind, churning on the air’s surface. She watches it, head resting on arms. Her eyes stray from the cloud… down, down, down, to the seething tempest  below. Infinity.

Tell me, did you ever hear the tragedy of RoW preview chapters the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the patient fans would tell you. The RoW preview chapters were a dark lord of the serialization, so powerful, and so full of lore, he could influence the fandom, to create... Hype. They had such a knowledge of lore that they could even keep theories people cared about, from dying. The preview chapters are a path to much knowledge some consider to be... unnatural. 

I hope you all are doing well, with everything going on. Just wanted to let you know, that I know that you got this! 

Long ago, man sought to be as gods. All-knowing. All-powerful. Immortal. 
For their pride, they were destroyed. In their pride, they destroyed human civilization- and nearly all of humanity along with it.
But humanity has a nasty habit of forgetting the past. And those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.

So anyway I discovered that at some point in my life I’ll time travel to the past and found a shirt business called Wound Up because everything on them is just pulled straight from my soul: 

(image ID for if Mosaic reads this) four shirts reading “sorry I’m very awkward sorry”, “don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping”, “out of my mind be back in five minutes”, and “it’s a beautiful day to stay indoors” 

Saw the first one and immediately thought Salad would love this  

So, the last week I've been pretty pressed for time, what with my new job and getting ready for school. I haven't had much time for the shard, and I'm not sure when I will have much time for the shard. I may not be on very often for a while, but I hope that doesn't last too long!

Me when I get back from having no internet service for 3 days and reading all the sample chapters

Me when I get back from having no internet service for 3 days and reading all the sample chapters

HEY, that wasn’t meant to be all caps but sometimes if I type something fast the keyboard takes a second to catch up and does it while still in caps mode, do you guys know what I mean? Does that happen to you too? 

Anyway  Sorry for my absence, our house doesn’t have Internet atm and for a couple days my mom and I went to my grandparents’ house to get homework done, but then the focus was on homework, so I had blips of Internet some days but no time to really write with it.

Also my mental health appears to be getting exponentially worse, like those graphs where it’s just flat and then starts getting higher and then gets much higher much quicker and then just ZOOMS up...that’s me right now, wheeeeeeee. 

I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for a long time now, but I’m bad at it haha, so maybe just bluntly throwing it out there before I let myself get distracted by catching up on what I missed is the key. 

I need to take a break from the Shard, most specifically RPing. Or, less of a break and more of a sitting-back, I guess. I’m not leaving, I’ll be here for conversations and stuff, and please still feel free to come to me for a n y t h i n g because I will never be unwilling to help, but I need to give myself more distance because I am Not Okay right now. I need to reevaluate several things and figure out some stuff that matters to me, and frankly I’m a bit burned out. Actually, I’ve been burned out in varying degrees for months, now I’m past burned out and into burned down, or something. 

What this means for the things I’m involved in: 

Alleyverse = biggest change. I was so excited to write a different version of Deteca, I could not wait to get in the new her’s head, and despite the fact that I’m still very interested in her, I just...can’t write her. I am going to try to do the interaction with @18th Shard and @Sorana, because I’ve planned that with them and don’t want to disrupt their plans, but after that I don’t know how involved with those characters I can promise to be. (Same with any potential Deteca-Zokora interactions.) 

If @bees? is still breaking out of that van (I haven’t read AMD yet so he might’ve already), I can lend some help with Myriad, maybe. If you don’t need it, I’d probably just hold you up. 

I’m still here for TUBA if anything happens. Luckily most guild conflicts are heavily foreshadowed and also heavily IC these days, so there shouldn’t be any shenanigans where I’m instantly needed. I trust y’all to be cool if I’m not around for a day or two. (No succession wars, you hear? If I come back to a succession war at some point I’ll be very annoyed.) 

TKND = I will try to keep an OOC presence, keep up the moderation/updating the OP/polls stuff and any discussions of where we’re going next, but Cassie posts will be along the lines of “she followed the group, she did such and such” rather than anything deep. Not that her posts are very in-depth anyway over half the time, but. Yeah. 

KotC = who knows if they’re reading this, I think Tesh reads my status updates but does anyone else? Likely not, so I’ll copy this to their chat PM. I’m gonna have to hand off the slave trade to someone else. Raise your hand if you’re up for taking it on (the responsibility, not literally taking on the slave trade :P). I may be able to handle some of it later, and by the time we get to any epic showdowns I’d like to do some talking from Natoriana and/or Jalis. I’d also prefer if they were left mostly out of things for now so their characterization isn’t compromised; I’ll write them out or something. 

Clearcut I can continue as usual, I think. She’s not difficult, just dialogue and a pretty simple character arc, and I’m eager to see her wielded at some point. 

V1 = I really am working on a post to bring that back. I’m dearly sorry that it’s been dead so long, there’s no excuse, but I’m going to fix it. I hope. That will be delayed, but eventually it will happen. 

Sharder Kahoot Club = I might be able to make some progress on this front but who knows, really? 

Forum games = I’ll probably be around but can’t say how much 

That cosmere Monopoly board I wanted to make = still wanna make it, but it’s a *shrug* for now 

And I want to write more fanfiction in the future besides RP, there’s at least one series I want to do and I always have oneshots in my head because who doesn’t, but that’s after that reevaluation I mentioned. 

Love you all. Sorry to be so abrupt. *hugs*