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Sharder One-Liners


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I shout “HEY, FREE SOUR PATCH IN THE BACK!” throw ‘em in and get out of there!” - My chemistry teacher explaining the basics of electronegativity

”She didn’t want that one anyway!” - A friend

”Alright, that’s enough felonies for today.” - Chemistry Teacher

”And Who did we say is the worst mother on the periodic table?” *nodding “Francium! The kid never had a chance.” - Chemistry teacher still talking about Electronegativity

”Apparently Mr. [teacher] is starting DND soon.” - Me
”Did you say Mr. [teacher] is pregnant???” - different friend

”That’s it, I’m snapping your spine like a glow stick!” - Bryson

”I’m 2% Irish, so I can say the N-Word!” - White guy
”That is not how that works! Not at all!” - Me

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Friend 1: “He's just my pet fish that I happen to be dating.”

 

Friend 1: “He cut my leg, so I cut his BRAIN!!!!”

(Later) Friend 1: “He cut my favorite trousers so I cut his brain out!”

 

Friend 2: “His entire brain just falls toward you.” (Still talking about the previous incident)

Friend 1: “Who's ready for dinner?!”

 

Friend 1: “We're in the forest waiting for all the ants to come out like 'aaaaaaaaaaaaah!'”

Friend 1: “I'm holding an ant brain in my bag and listening to them scream.”

Friend 1: “Mmm, roasted ant.”

 

For context, we were playing D&D.

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36 minutes ago, Ookla said:

Friend 1: “He's just my pet fish that I happen to be dating.”

 

Friend 1: “He cut my leg, so I cut his BRAIN!!!!”

(Later) Friend 1: “He cut my favorite trousers so I cut his brain out!”

 

Friend 2: “His entire brain just falls toward you.” (Still talking about the previous incident)

Friend 1: “Who's ready for dinner?!”

 

Friend 1: “We're in the forest waiting for all the ants to come out like 'aaaaaaaaaaaaah!'”

Friend 1: “I'm holding an ant brain in my bag and listening to them scream.”

Friend 1: “Mmm, roasted ant.”

 

For context, we were playing D&D.

OI

NO CONTEXT

YES CANNABILISM

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11 hours ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

OI

NO CONTEXT

YES CANNABILISM

Oh, sorry. I meant "So we don't sound like a bunch of serial killers..."

Though, to be fair, from the giant ant's perspective, we are--we may have lit their entire lair on fire.

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