Jump to content

Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


Recommended Posts

6 hours ago, DramaQueen said:

Hey, @TheAlpha929 if this gets enough interest, go ahead and run the next round, I'm going to be trying to take a step back from all internet spaces I exist on so I won't be able to run it.

Alright. Are you going to totally leave? It would be nice to see you around from time to time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, TheAlpha929 said:

Alright. Are you going to totally leave? It would be nice to see you around from time to time!

Not sure. The goal is to make it so I stop having a habit of coming to the Shard anytime I'm bored...especially because most of the time I don't even end up doing anything here, it's just a total waste of time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

@TheAlpha929: I believe our players are

@Stormform as OreSeur

@me as Ruin

@Archer as Preservation

and @The Sibling as Honor.

Ah, yes, thank you for reminding me of this. I had totally forgotten.

I suppose we shall start submissions at 8:00 EST tomorrow, and those will run for 48 hours. 

Spoiler

Thx Szeth, I forgot what with SE and… y’know, life

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, TheAlpha929 said:

Ah, yes, thank you for reminding me of this. I had totally forgotten.

I suppose we shall start submissions at 8:00 EST tomorrow, and those will run for 48 hours. 

  Hide contents

Thx Szeth, I forgot what with SE and… y’know, life

 

Yw. 8:00 AM or PM?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Wait, who am I roasting? Maybe we should pair off?

Dibs on roasting Ruin! 

13 hours ago, Stormform said:

Why are 75% of our players being shards?

You simply need to try more hard, it's not too tricky to obtain a Shard 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh...

Well here we go!

Wait do I roast @The Sibling

I'm just gonna post it and i'll edit it out if I'm roasting someone else.

Should really pay better attention to these things.

Spoiler

Well well well

Honor, Odium cultivation

can't even make one working nation

Warring over planets for eternity,

Making the rosharans lose their dignity

You couldn't even live against one of equal power,

stuck by your bonds, you can't even make a Flower!

At least as a kandra, I can change,

You can never make an exchange

With oaths you're stuck

like a duck, in muck!

I may not have survived too long,

Seeing as I fought against someone who was wrong,

I can't beleive you tried to join this fight,

charging through the night,

Did you take an oath long ago to be Annoying?

You don't seem to be enojoying,

losin' desprately to a yougn kandra,

You stole our name! What even is a mandra?

infinite little spren swirling about,

flying right into odiums snout,

Do you enjoy the game,

the death,

Your supposedly 'fame'

Your stinky breath?

OreSeur, Rappin' Kandra, out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're a poop.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spoiler

Hey.

Hey you.

Yeah, you. Who the Trell else would I be talking to?

I know you. I’ve known you since the Shattering

And you must find it flattering

Seeing us as a matter

Of something reprehensible and something to smile at.

I’ll tell you what: it’s not that well-defined.

Let me remind you:

Ruin is everywhere – where are you, Frue?

Nothing is ever truly Preserved –

Everything always gets just what it deserves.

Without destruction, where would we be?

No controlled fires to release the seeds of the trees,

No antibiotics that can kill your disease.

If it all lasted forever, then there would be

[slowly leaving the beat]

No art, no beat, no rhyme, no melody.

[long pause]

“Wait a minute,” you cry, “aren’t you, personally, evil?”

Says the person who (indirectly) 

Enslaved a continent of people.

Sometimes you have to start fresh with a clean slate.

Remember the Catacendre? 

That wasn’t achieved by keeping the people on their knees.

Scadrial had to burn to be reborn.

Life wouldn’t exist in any meaningful form

Without death. (Don’t hold your breath –

Us Shards are the exception.)

Now, I don’t blame you if you can’t grasp this conception.

Your Intent makes you so rigid,

You have no means of apperception!

(Look it up.)

Anyway, Preservation,

I think you’ll find that if you drop your reservation,

Let go of your hesitation, and try

To see how fire is greater than ash,

It’ll smash your expectations.

Maybe things won’t be so Fuzzy then, eh?

Ruin out.

Imperfect rhymes are better than perfect rhymes. Prove me wrong :P

@Archer

Edited by Szeth_Pancakes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Imperfect rhymes are better than perfect rhymes. Prove me wrong :P

@Archer

I'm a big fan of the style matching the personality of the roasting character, so I quite enjoyed how that rap progressed 

Preservation's Rebuttal >:(

Spoiler

Guess who piped up to Ruin my night

Yo, boasting poor format just to bug me?

Yes, two hyped up dudes, you and I, fight

So roasting your form, I must do, Ugly

 

We have a double Shard planet

And we welcome souls to Hell, us.

We had a doable shared plan, yet

Man, we will crumble, you’re jealous!

 

I might, uh, stagnate, I leave IOUs

That’s what tiny humans are for

So bright to create, believe, that’s why you

Smash stuff likely, boom on our floor 

 

Did our mist thing cloud your vision?

Still hazed, our timeshare is boding F tier.

Kid, you’re missing clout, your division

Will raze until there’s nothing left here.

 

When your actions all usurp me

You boost my ego, worse, my fame

Then you actually serve me

Deduce why they don’t curse my name

 

True I’ve made the Cosmere a safe space

Yes I detest hard pressure, ‘kay son

You’ve tried, playah, come here to save face.

Yet, I’m the best Shard: Preservation!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...