Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[The Sibling she/her]

Here we go...

Spoiler

Well here, it's honor, the shard of bonds!

If you're waiting to be roasted you won't have to wait long! 

Because I'm a shard who hates to lie

And I was glad OreSeur, when you went off and died!

You're a kandra, a contract follower, that I have to respect,

But you blindly follow nutjob humans, maybe it's time to reflect

Upon a life built on lies, they're just fabrications

No real personality, just imitations

It's true, you fought for the protagonists,

But rusts OreSeur, let's be realists

If Tevidian, Rashek, or even Straff had come a callin'

You can bet that for a couple geodes it's them you'd be a followin'

Even among the kandra you're inferior, unworthy

To MeLaan and TenSoon, who showed you no mercy

You died at the hands of one of your own,

And made no effect, replaced by a perfect clone

Vin broke oaths, I'll admit it's true

But at least she had the good sense to be repulsed by you

TenSoon broke oaths, that I won't deny

But I'm thankful that he killed you, I cannot lie

Did you really think that you beat a god then?

Even dead I live on in the hearts of my men

So this is honor who is signing off now

Storms, rust and ruin, I guess it's time for me to take a bow.

 

 

11 hours ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Imperfect rhymes are better than perfect rhymes. Prove me wrong

 

Most definitely

Edited July 16, 2023 by The Sibling

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Sorry I was absent! These roasts are great.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

1 hour ago, Archer said:

I'm a big fan of the style matching the personality of the roasting character, so I quite enjoyed how that rap progressed 

Thanks! I think yours does well w/ that too.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Good job everyone! Now it’s time to sit tight until 8:00 PM EST, when I put up the poll. Good luck!

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Ooh! Could you maybe split the vote so it's single-elimination tournament style & then there are finals?

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

8 hours ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Ooh! Could you maybe split the vote so it's single-elimination tournament style & then there are finals?

So, should we just make the person with the fewest votes be eliminated, and do that til there’s a winner?

[The Stormfather He/Him]

I think have me and the sibling have a poll, and szeth and archer have a separate poll.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

35 minutes ago, Stormform said:

I think have me and the sibling have a poll, and szeth and archer have a separate poll.

This ^

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Ight

[The Stormfather He/Him]

Where is the poll?

 

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

I will be unable to post it this round. I ask you to please PM me your votes. Thank you, and sorry. 

[The Stormfather He/Him]

How much longer does the vote go for?

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Sorry to kinda step on your toes a little bit, Alpha, but I really want to get to the finals and I'm worried people will lose interest, so I made a google form: Roast Battle Voting (Preservation v. Ruin, Honor v. OreSeur) - Google Forms

Edited July 22, 2023 by Szeth_Pancakes

[The Sibling she/her]

2 hours ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

I made a google form

Thanks! Hopefully this will move things along.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Voting will close at 7 PM PDT on Monday, July 24.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

5 hours ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Sorry to kinda step on your toes a little bit, Alpha, but I really want to get to the finals and I'm worried people will lose interest, so I made a google form: Roast Battle Voting (Preservation v. Ruin, Honor v. OreSeur) - Google Forms

Thank you, and I’m very sorry. I had thought I would have a semblance of internet, but I was mistaken. 

[The Stormfather He/Him]

It doesn't matter.

When does the vote end?

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

1 hour ago, Stormform said:

It doesn't matter.

When does the vote end?

On 7/22/2023 at 1:10 PM, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Voting will close at 7 PM PDT on Monday, July 24.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Voting is closed! There were only five responses, but:

The winner is @The Sibling as Harmony!

The winner is… yours truly as Ruin!

Sibling, do you want to do finals?

[The Sibling she/her]

2 minutes ago, Szeth_Pancakes said:

Sibling, do you want to do finals?

Sure! I'm leaving to go camping in two days, so I'll write the rap tomorrow. I won't be around for the vote, but that's not a big deal. I'll just find out who won when I get back. Great job everyone! I look forward to the finals!

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

9 minutes ago, The Sibling said:

Sure! I'm leaving to go camping in two days, so I'll write the rap tomorrow. I won't be around for the vote, but that's not a big deal. I'll just find out who won when I get back. Great job everyone! I look forward to the finals!

Awesome! Submissions close Wednesday at 7:30 PM PDT.

[The Sibling she/her]

Here’s mine, but fyi I’m Honor not Harmony 

Spoiler

We’ll we’ve all been waiting for a battle between Shards

That will leave one of us splintered well this shouldn’t be hard

Because I’ve been through it before

And I’ve a little bit more

Experience with visions

Prophecies and missions

Bond smiths and decisions

About what to do when I’m dun

And how to trap Odium

I’ve written wills before

And now it’s time to write yours

Cause when you step in the ring

With me you know I’m gonna bring

What ever bonds, aons, spren, seons, and hemalurgic spikes I need to win.

 

After all that time, after all those plans

In the end all it took was a Terrisman

To knock from your throne, to take all of your power

To bring back the sun, to bring back Mares flowers!

Neither of us are known to be kind

But only one of us knows how to bind

Only one of us knew how to find

A way to stop a shard Intent on destroying us all

Only I was willing to fall

From my pedestal, for the good of the nation

My men saved their people from the Desolations

While your men hid in caves or used Atium to fight

Your magic systems rusty, time to come to the light

I have ten heralds

Your descendant has but one sword

And he’s a few steps away from becoming Discord

 

I’m floored

Getting bored

Roasting you’s an easy chore

Your magic ore

Could use some more

Honor, it could use some more light

You’re so rusting useless there’s no point to this fight

So this is Honor saying good night

And I’ll see you in the morning, because I’m made of light.

 

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

2 hours ago, The Sibling said:

Here’s mine, but fyi I’m Honor not Harmony 

  Reveal hidden contents

We’ll we’ve all been waiting for a battle between Shards

That will leave one of us splintered well this shouldn’t be hard

Because I’ve been through it before

And I’ve a little bit more

Experience with visions

Prophecies and missions

Bond smiths and decisions

About what to do when I’m dun

And how to trap Odium

I’ve written wills before

And now it’s time to write yours

Cause when you step in the ring

With me you know I’m gonna bring

What ever bonds, aons, spren, seons, and hemalurgic spikes I need to win.

 

After all that time, after all those plans

In the end all it took was a Terrisman

To knock from your throne, to take all of your power

To bring back the sun, to bring back Mares flowers!

Neither of us are known to be kind

But only one of us knows how to bind

Only one of us knew how to find

A way to stop a shard Intent on destroying us all

Only I was willing to fall

From my pedestal, for the good of the nation

My men saved their people from the Desolations

While your men hid in caves or used Atium to fight

Your magic systems rusty, time to come to the light

I have ten heralds

Your descendant has but one sword

And he’s a few steps away from becoming Discord

 

I’m floored

Getting bored

Roasting you’s an easy chore

Your magic ore

Could use some more

Honor, it could use some more light

You’re so rusting useless there’s no point to this fight

So this is Honor saying good night

And I’ll see you in the morning, because I’m made of light.

 

Yeah sorry

Umm I forgot to write mine & I don’t have time tonight :/ (yeah ik it’s my own deadline)

I’ll submit it tomorrow and put the vote up.

[The Sibling she/her]

Cool! I won’t know who won for like 14 days. The suspense!

[The Sibling she/her]

 @Szeth_Pancakes? You going to write your roast?