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Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


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Great job everyone! Looks like @DramaQueen won this round, but @yeshevishman and @SymphonianBookworm, your raps were great too.

Alright, time for the finals!!! It's @DramaQueen against @Channelknight Fadran. Best of luck to both of you. You have 48 hours to get your raps in. Please let me know as soon as possible if there's going to be an issue with getting them in on time. 

Also, I made a poster for the battle.

Spoiler

649389d71ba7b_CosmereCharacterRoastBattle!.thumb.png.58aa824fe8a55c9ec735d8e841bad6ae.png

I wish post count went up here, because if it did then this would be my 300th post, but it's allright. Have fun with your raps everyone!

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Sorry for the double post, and sorry for this, but could we extend it again? Today was a lot busier than I thought it would be, I work all day tomorrow and Saturday, and I have a theatre thing tomorrow night so I won't have any time to work on it until Saturday evening.

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One hour late, but I got it done.

Spoiler

Well, folks, I'm back; let's do this again

We'll see who's still standing when this round hits its end

 

Wayne, I'll admit, you never make things dull,

But seems your favorite pastime's making Marasi uncomfortable

And, might I add, it also seems she's not the only one;

You chased after Ranette till she chased you with a gun

She shot not one, not three, but four

Still you'd insist on chasing more

It wasn't till you knew she's gay

That you finally went away

Your respect for women is seriously lacking-

And if it's me who's saying that, you know you must be slacking.

I'll confess, my attitude towards women at the balls

Was far less than ideal; why'd Vin fall for me at all?

But at least I didn't actively seek to make her squirm

You play to Marasi's discomfort, you're lower than a worm

 

Now, this might be low-hanging fruit,

But you, dear man, will never shoot

See, you can hardly touch a gun,

And when you do, you come undone

Disguises, healing, and speed bubbles

Barely get you out of trouble

Some may call you a coward,

In truth you're a brave man who cowered

Which is, debatably, far worse

It's not shameful, it's just perverse

Your greatest talent is your skill

At pretending to be Bill,

Joe, or Bob, whoever else

You hardly ever play yourself

Do you have a personality?

Or did you steal that from your disguisees?

In fact, I'll add on the subject of stealing,

Your "trades" are far from appealing

Kleptomania is what I'd call it

If I didn't think you'd throw a fit

It's not a trade if what you get,

If paid full price, puts you in debt

When all you give in return

Is your dead grandmother's urn

Trades are meant to be

Of equal value, so you see

You're swindling all these poor folks

And laughing like it's just a joke

 

Okay, fine, I'll agree

You've certainly done some good things

But at your core, no matter what

Good sir, you're just a little butt

You've never heard of boundaries,

You take things that aren't yours with ease,

Too in your head to hold a gun

Can't converse without poking fun,

You're someone else all along,

And when the train was attacked, you just got busy with MeLaan

Allow me to propose a trade:

Me for you; it's been delayed

But now this roast has reached its end

You might as well surrender to Elend.

@Channelknight Fadran I want to win, but not by default, so you'd better submit something soon.

Edited by DramaQueen
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Spoiler

*Wayne once again approaches the mic. He has somehow acquired a new hat and overcoat since his last roast*

 

G'day, ladies and gents, to my new spotlight

Let's take a look at who we have to degrade tonight

Mr... Elend Venture, eh? Well, whaddya know,

I'm a little surprised, but I guess I shouldn't though

 

Just a peppy little prince with a penchant for propriety

a guy who's got a girl who got him discarded from society

Not that it's all her fault, though - no, not in the least

Vin's got a bit of spark to her - you're the cub and she's the beast

 

What is there to say? I'm impressed you've made it this far

The fact you had the heart to speak an insult is quite bizarre

Aren't you that little kid who locks himself away into his books?

The only reason Vin likes you, friend, is because of your good looks

 

The gentleman Mistborn, with powers beyond reckoning

But you can't even start to use them for anything besides beckoning

the common soldiers - rabble, really - into charging whether weak or weary

into a fight they had to lose so you could win your little dearie

 

What were you first if not a damsel in distress?

Your lack of gall makes me appalled and frankly just depressed

The power of a god instilled, a Shard in you had to Invest

and yet you're so much weaker than such a mantle would suggest!

 

But you know what, kid? I feel a little bad for you

because deep inside I know that all you want is just what's good and true

I'll let you off this one time, little Venture, little Elend, pal

'cause I figure that you can't take this one more hit to your morale

 

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This roast tournament has come to an end! Thank you to 

@stormform wert

@The Sibling (LOL I didn't know you could mention yourself)

@Channelknight Fadran

@SymphonianBookworm

@yeshevishman

@DramaQueen

Well, that's the end of the round. It was a close one, but DramaQueen is the winner. Great job to all the contestants!

Should we start another round? I'm not able to run it because I'm going to be away next week.

I think @Thaidakar the Ghostblood wanted to join the next round. Anyone else?

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18 minutes ago, The Sibling said:

This roast tournament has come to an end! Thank you to 

@stormform wert

@The Sibling (LOL I didn't know you could mention yourself)

@Channelknight Fadran

@SymphonianBookworm

@yeshevishman

@DramaQueen

Well, that's the end of the round. It was a close one, but DramaQueen is the winner. Great job to all the contestants!

Should we start another round? I'm not able to run it because I'm going to be away next week.

I think @Thaidakar the Ghostblood wanted to join the next round. Anyone else?

I can run this next round!

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