The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Nerdy teleported back to normal TLT, where they started using their Plotblade to make funnel cake.

[NameIess]

This quickly undermined the funnel cake business, resulting in a thread-wide economic collapse.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

"What did I say about illusions, that's an easy enough protection to fool, and the Blade of Drama sorta just makes dramatic scars happen even when they shouldn't. It's actually a pretty nice feature. I think that this Plotblade can also do some other stuff. Hey, can't yours bake waffles? I remember reading that somewhere."

Platypus ignored him except for the waffles part.

"I've yet to try that feature. I bet they'll be really good."

Waffles started appearing all over TLT.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

These waffles also caused an economic collapse.

"You know, it turns out that being able to summon food out of thin air is kind of unbalanced," said Nerdy in their non-pink voice.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

"Summoning food is illegal anyway." Everyone said.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Unfortunately, Nobody cared about what Everyone had to say.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Everyone threw a rabid badger at Nobody, just to show that they recognized the fact that Nobody was capitalized.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

But no one cared about Nobody.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Which simply encouraged Everyone to attack them even more.

[Immortal Platypus]

But No One cared about Nobody and came to defend him.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

This was much more exciting than the Platypus V.S. Nerdy duel.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Everyone easily dispatched No One as well and began to attack them both with waves upon waves of rabid badgers and extra-spiky pine cones.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

But Nobody had an army of Tricks to fight back. As everybody knows, Badgers will obey anybody who commands Tricks.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The pineapples were sad that the pine-cones had stolen the pine-spotlight.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

In everyone's opinion (non personified), pine-oranges were way cooler.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Pine-melons?

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

They were just pine-ing for the fjords.

[NameIess]

No One slunk off into the shadows, upset at being defeated so easily. Narrators really were just too strong.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

So No One resolved to become a Narrator.

[NameIess]

It didn't work. Narrators need to be able to communicate well, and No One's sword of Plot didn't really allow that sort of thing.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, he could still use the Plotblade to read everyone's (both personification modes) mind(s).

[NameIess]

The previous post was not canon, so Subversion made it so. The Plotblade had a mind of its own.

That mind merely happened to be rather focused on power scaling everything it could see, hear, touch, taste, or smell. Not that a sword has the five senses, of course.

Edited February 14, 2023 by UnfortunatelyNamed

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Swords did tend to develop power complexes.

[NameIess]

Some scholars believe such tendencies stem from the tradition of giving swords fancy names.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

These shadows knew that this was only part of a much bigger truth. This truth was...