The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Immortal Platypus]

Just now, NerdyAarakocra said:

Nerdy's smile grew as an elegant sword materialized in their hand. "Yes. Don't try to rules-lawyer with me, Narrator." Nerdy smiled, feeling the weight of the sword in their palm. "Do you know what this is, Platypus? I don't do anything without a reason. Now, granted, that reason is usually frivolous, but anyway. You should recognize this. It's a Blade of Plot. While you were distracted by your WIS save, my minions have completed my goal. This is the Blade of Drama."

The spell began to take hold of Nameless and Platypus. "Sleep now, Narrators. You will not remember this."

Nerdy vanished in a puff of rainbow-colored smoke.

"Nerdy!" Platypus grimaces. "As though a simple spell could capture me. Plot was one for the dramatic, but the sword I wield is one of, if not the most powerful, versions." Vengeance appears in his hand. "And you just gave me a chance to use it the way it was intended. For once, my interests and the sword's align. Good luck. You'll need it."

Just now, UnfortunatelyNamed said:

"Is Narrator not a class? And a race?"

"Narrator is a class and an occupation. Like one of my Author's characters is a king (occupation) and a ranger (class). As for race, no. My race is Immortal Platypus, my class is Plotter, and my occupation is Narrator."

[NameIess]

3 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

"Narrator is a class and an occupation. Like one of my Author's characters is a king (occupation) and a ranger (class). As for race, no. My race is Immortal Platypus, my class is Plotter, and my occupation is Narrator."

Subversion nodded slowly. "I guess that makes me more of a Narrator than you! Also, I think you should know that your sword, although powerful, is rather limited in scope. Vengeance is so often clouded by misconceptions, is it not? You should know."

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

13 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

"Nerdy!" Platypus grimaces. "As though a simple spell could capture me. Plot was one for the dramatic, but the sword I wield is one of, if not the most powerful, versions." Vengeance appears in his hand. "And you just gave me a chance to use it the way it was intended. For once, my interests and the sword's align. Good luck. You'll need it."

"Narrator is a class and an occupation. Like one of my Author's characters is a king (occupation) and a ranger (class). As for race, no. My race is Immortal Platypus, my class is Plotter, and my occupation is Narrator."

Nerdy appeared behind Platypus. "Oh, you fool. You poor, poor, innocent fool. Plot (Both personified and non-personified) has always needed Drama. And when the villain absconds with the macguffin? That's when we need drama the most. That's when my blade is at its highest power."

The blade started glowing with rainbow light.

"But if you insist, we can have a duel before I vanish with my Blade. Here, let me make this a little more... dramatic."

Nerdy snapped their fingers. Both of them appeared in a large arena.

"Now, I'd love to have Subversion come here as well. But I don't feel like doing the whole mind-wipe again. So it'll have to be just us for now."

Nerdy grinned.

"En Garde!"

EDIT: Is it wrong that I imagine this like the NKG fight?

Edited February 13, 2023 by NerdyAarakocra

[NameIess]

11 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

EDIT: Is it wrong that I imagine this like the NKG fight?

Well now I have that song stuck in my head.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Just now, UnfortunatelyNamed said:

Well now I have that song stuck in my head.

"Yay, cheery accordion musi- oh wait it's a boss fight."

[Immortal Platypus]

32 minutes ago, UnfortunatelyNamed said:

Subversion nodded slowly. "I guess that makes me more of a Narrator than you! Also, I think you should know that your sword, although powerful, is rather limited in scope. Vengeance is so often clouded by misconceptions, is it not? You should know."

"Oh, shut up. It's limited in scope, but that makes it more powerful in certain ways. Misconceptions don't matter to the blade, it cares that I think that I am achieving vengeance. And it totally does not! Does not having the stats of a King class make me any less of a ruler than an opposing king?"

29 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Nerdy appeared behind Platypus. "Oh, you fool. You poor, poor, innocent fool. Plot (Both personified and non-personified) has always needed Drama. And when the villain absconds with the macguffin? That's when we need drama the most. That's when my blade is at its highest power."

The blade started glowing with rainbow light.

"But if you insist, we can have a duel before I vanish with my Blade. Here, let me make this a little more... dramatic."

Nerdy snapped their fingers. Both of them appeared in a large arena.

"Now, I'd love to have Subversion come here as well. But I don't feel like doing the whole mind-wipe again. So it'll have to be just us for now."

Nerdy grinned.

"En Garde!"

EDIT: Is it wrong that I imagine this like the NKG fight?

Platypus smiled slowly. "You don't know what you've done. Remember when I pursued Subversion? That was a long time ago. I have trained long and hard. I've fought harder things than you will ever be Nerdy. I'm not saying your blade is weak. I'm saying, when my interests and my blade's interests align, there is very little that can stop us."

Platypus settled into his fighting stance.

"Oh, Nerdy, I think you should know. Subversion's mind isn't wiped. She's a Narrator, so she'd see this anyway, but she also might possess a sword of Plot. I know she used to."

Platypus looks at Nerdy, eyes glinting coldly.

"Have at thee!"

Platypus rushes at him, Blade transforming from a sword into matching shortswords, then to matching daggers, then to matching sickles, then to matching scythes, then back to it's normal form, continuing to do so in a loop.

I'm afraid I don't know what NKG is.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 minute ago, Being of Cacophony said:

"Oh, shut up. It's limited in scope, but that makes it more powerful in certain ways. Misconceptions don't matter to the blade, it cares that I think that I am achieving vengeance. And it totally does not! Does not having the stats of a King class make me any less of a ruler than an opposing king?"

Platypus smiled slowly. "You don't know what you've done. Remember when I pursued Subversion? That was a long time ago. I have trained long and hard. I've fought harder things than you will ever be Nerdy. I'm not saying your blade is weak. I'm saying, when my interests and my blade's interests align, there is very little that can stop us."

Platypus settled into his fighting stance.

"Oh, Nerdy, I think you should know. Subversion's mind isn't wiped. She's a Narrator, so she'd see this anyway, but she also might possess a sword of Plot. I know she used to."

Platypus looks at Nerdy, eyes glinting coldly.

"Have at thee!"

Platypus rushes at them, Blade transforming from a sword into matching shortswords, then to matching daggers, then to matching sickles, then to matching scythes, then back to it's normal form, continuing to do so in a loop.

I'm afraid I don't know what NKG is.

Nerdy held their blade in a reverse grip.

"Tut tut. All of that training and you make the same mistake as you did with Subversion. Oh, and, Platypus? Even if she notices our duel, Subversion won't think anything of it. My spells work in subtle ways."

As Platypus rushed, Nerdy vanished in a puff of rainbow smoke, and appeared behind Platypus, swinging for his head.

NKG, or Nightmare King Grimm, is a boss in the game Hollow Knight. He has really epic music and I was imagining our duel to be sort of like the NKG fight.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Nerdy held their blade in a reverse grip.

"Tut tut. All of that training and you make the same mistake as you did with Subversion. Oh, and, Platypus? Even if she notices our duel, Subversion won't think anything of it. My spells work in subtle ways."

As Platypus rushed, Nerdy vanished in a puff of rainbow smoke, and appeared behind Platypus, swinging for his head.

NKG, or Nightmare King Grimm, is a boss in the game Hollow Knight. He has really epic music and I was imagining our duel to be sort of like the NKG fight.

"Was it really a mistake?" Platypus asks from behind him as his blade goes right through what he thought was Platypus. "I thought that you'd be prepared for that." 

Platypus swings his blade at Nerdy.

"Vengeance works in mysterious ways, Nerdy. You can't understand them."

Suddenly, Nerdy finds their ability to puff away with rainbow smoke disabled.

"Are you ready to try yet?"

If you can't tell, I'm bringing out a more cocky, battle-fueled personality that he keeps hidden most of the time. He's also very mocking. I love basing my characters of sides of myself.

And the NKG boss fight thing is good for me. I'll probably Google the music.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

The blade passes through where Nerdy appears to be standing. Seven duplicates of Nerdy appear out of yellow, white, purple, and black smoke. Nerdy's voice seems to emanate from the whole arena.

"Excellent. I see that you're learning. But good luck getting out of this!"

The duplicate Nerdies all stab their swords into the ground. For a second, nothing happens. A spotlight appears, and then the sand of the arena begins to churn.

Nerdy, riding on the back of a sandworm, bursts out of the ground.

"Don't assume you know what I understand, Narrator. You may be immortal, but you're new to this game."

@Being of Cacophony

Edited February 13, 2023 by NerdyAarakocra

[NameIess]

Subversion watched Platypus vanish, quickly forgetting where he'd gone off to. It probably wasn't important. Anyways, she had find an EPS.

 

Meanwhile at Nameless' house, Moni looked bored as she flipped through channels on the tv. Platypus and Nerdy's epic battle appeared, and she frowned. Those swords they're using look almost like... huh. 

[Immortal Platypus]

20 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

The blade passes through where Nerdy appears to be standing. Seven duplicates of Nerdy appear out of yellow, white, purple, and black smoke. Nerdy's voice seems to emanate from the whole arena.

"Excellent. I see that you're learning. But good luck getting out of this!"

The duplicate Nerdies all stab their swords into the ground. For a second, nothing happens. A spotlight appears, and then the sand of the arena begins to churn.

Nerdy, riding on the back of a sandworm, bursts out of the ground.

"Don't assume you know what I understand, Narrator. You may be immortal, but you're new to this game."

@Being of Cacophony

"I may be knew to this game, and you might know more, but you understand less about this. For instance, you didn't realize that that is my sandworm."

As Platypus says this, the sandworm rears up and catapults Nerdy in the air, where he would fall into its mouth.

"Good luck getting out of this situation." Platypus smirks with an eyebrow raised as he Narrates Nerdy's ability to disappear/poof away. "I think that maybe you should fight me like a Narrator. Running and hiding isn't the way to defeat me. Subversion, I could understand this strategy. But me?! That's just foolish."

@NerdyAarakocra

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Nerdy nonchalantly fell towards the mouth of the sandworm.

"Alright, three things."

Nerdy threw a shuriken at Platypus.

"First, I don't knock success. Subversion beat you, and you haven't scored a hit yet, have you?'

Nerdy threw a second shuriken.

"Second, I have a 50 foot flying speed as a racial trait."

Nerdy, being, well, an Aarakocra, flew out of the sandworm's grasp.

"Third, Dominate Monster."

The sandworm slowly turned to look at Platypus and lunged.

@Being of Cacophony

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The crowd went wild! Because there was definitely a crowd. Because this was definitely an arena.

[NameIess]

Everyone in the audience agreed that this was an epic fight.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Nerdy nonchalantly fell towards the mouth of the sandworm.

"Alright, three things."

Nerdy threw a shuriken at Platypus.

"First, I don't knock success. Subversion beat you, and you haven't scored a hit yet, have you?'

Nerdy threw a second shuriken.

"Second, I have a 50 foot flying speed as a racial trait."

Nerdy, being, well, an Aarakocra, flew out of the sandworm's grasp.

"Third, Dominate Monster."

The sandworm slowly turned to look at Platypus and lunged.

@Being of Cacophony

"Let's here them."

Platypus lets the shuriken hit him. It bounces off and into the floor.

"First, you say that I haven't scored a hit, while you're running like a coward."

Platypus grabs the second shuriken out of the air and throws it right next to the other one.

"Second, you think I didn't expect that? Good luck with escaping the consequence."

Platypus laughed.

"Dominate Monster? Weakling spells. Lightning arrow!"

Platypus pulls the two shurikens out of the ground and throws them at the sandworm. They turn into lightning bolts as they streak through the air. Then he pulls out his book.

"My class, Plotter, enables me to do this. Have fun!"

Unexpectedly, the clock in the arena starts to turn in reverse. 

"My plotting is coming to fruition."

Time rewinds to right before Nerdy flew away from the sandworm.

"You probably didn't realize that I could be this powerful. I haven't even used Vengeance to strengthen me yet."

The air around the sandworm fills with Narrationdaggers.

"You wanted to fight this way. I wanted to fight like warriors, but I'm okay with magical fights."

Roll a DEX and a INT saving throw. Both.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 minute ago, Being of Cacophony said:

"Let's here them."

Platypus lets the shuriken hit him. It bounces off and into the floor.

"First, you say that I haven't scored a hit, while you're running like a coward."

Platypus grabs the second shuriken out of the air and throws it right next to the other one.

"Second, you think I didn't expect that? Good luck with escaping the consequence."

Platypus laughed.

"Dominate Monster? Weakling spells. Lightning arrow!"

Platypus pulls the two shurikens out of the ground and throws them at the sandworm. They turn into lightning bolts as they streak through the air. Then he pulls out his book.

"My class, Plotter, enables me to do this. Have fun!"

Unexpectedly, the clock in the arena starts to turn in reverse. 

"My plotting is coming to fruition."

Time rewinds to right before Nerdy flew away from the sandworm.

"You probably didn't realize that I could be this powerful. I haven't even used Vengeance to strengthen me yet."

The air around the sandworm fills with Narrationdaggers.

"You wanted to fight this way. I wanted to fight like warriors, but I'm okay with magical fights."

Roll a DEX and a INT saving throw. Both.

Prepared action: cast Dimension Door as soon as things go south.

Nerdy laughed, then teleported away in a puff of rainbow smoke.

"Keep focus on your Narrating, Platypus. Don't let distractions get the better of you. And really. Time travel shenanigans? Do you know how hard those are to Narrate in a logical manner?"

Nerdy slashed the Blade of Drama two times, summoning a swarm of spectral throwing stars.

"If you want for this to get up close and personal, I suppose I can manage that."

Nerdy flew at platypus, surrounded by the spectral weapons.

[Immortal Platypus]

37 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Prepared action: cast Dimension Door as soon as things go south.

Nerdy laughed, then teleported away in a puff of rainbow smoke.

"Keep focus on your Narrating, Platypus. Don't let distractions get the better of you. And really. Time travel shenanigans? Do you know how hard those are to Narrate in a logical manner?"

Nerdy slashed the Blade of Drama two times, summoning a swarm of spectral throwing stars.

"If you want for this to get up close and personal, I suppose I can manage that."

Nerdy flew at platypus, surrounded by the spectral weapons.

Never done those before, but okay.

"Fool. You can't teleport in a puff of rainbow smoke. I already disabled that."

Confounded by Platypus' logic, Nerdy's entire turn is invalidated, which give Platypus a turn to prepare. Platypus' action is to resummon Vengeance to his hand and concentrate to harness its power. As Nerdy's turn was invalidated, he cannot do anything to break the concentration. Platypus achieves harnessing Vengeance's power.

"You shouldn't have tried to fight me! I will win!" Platypus booms. "I have harnessed Vengeance! Prepare for your doom!!!"

This will basically raise all of his modifiers to +10 and give his proficiency bonus (normally +6) a +7 modifier (to +13). It will also make him faster and raise his AC to 25. These bonuses can be disrupted but I won't tell you how.

Edited February 13, 2023 by Being of Cacophony

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

6 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

Never done those before, but okay.

"Fool. You can't teleport in a puff of rainbow smoke. I already disabled that."

Confounded by Platypus' logic, Nerdy's entire turn is invalidated, which give Platypus a turn to prepare. Platypus' action is to resummon Vengeance to his hand and concentrate to harness its power. As Nerdy's turn was invalidated, he cannot do anything to break the concentration. Platypus achieves harnessing Vengeance's power.

"You shouldn't have tried to fight me! I will win!" Platypus booms. "I have harnessed Vengeance! Prepare for your doom!!!"

This will basically raise all of his modifiers to +10 and give his proficiency bonus (normally +6) a +7 modifier (to +13). It will also make him faster and raise his AC to 25. These bonuses can be disrupted but I won't tell you how.

Can we stop with the D&D metaphor? It's getting a bit over the top...

Nerdy laughed again.

"Really, Platypus, I would have thought that you'd be smarter than that. Trying to stop a Narrator from using abilities, especially ones powered by Blades of Plot? Oh, that can work, I'll give you that, but not if the narrator is distracted by, say, reversing time. I regained my ability to teleport a few seconds after I summoned that sandworm. It's pretty sad that you didn't notice, actually."

Nerdy parried Vengance with Drama.

"You've always seen things and expected them to work out, Platypus. You've never actually had to confront your own illusions."

Nerdy's Plotblade morphed into a shield to block Platypus's counterattack.

"You've always assumed that you have the upper hand. Like how you were so confident in the power of your Plotblade, you failed to realize that it could be taken from you."

Nerdy's blade transformed back into its true form. Nerdy swung the Blade of Drama, knocking the Blade of Vengance out of Platypus's hand.

"This is my fight, Platypus. I brought you here for amusement, and you've been foolish to think that you could defeat me. But that's your whole thing, isn't it? You've always been too foolish to dispel your illusions."

Nerdy puffed away and reappeared in the sky. A slash with their Plotblade summoned another swarm of spectral throwing stars, and a slash of their other hand sent them flying at Platypus.

[Immortal Platypus]

35 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Can we stop with the D&D metaphor? It's getting a bit over the top...

Nerdy laughed again.

"Really, Platypus, I would have thought that you'd be smarter than that. Trying to stop a Narrator from using abilities, especially ones powered by Blades of Plot? Oh, that can work, I'll give you that, but not if the narrator is distracted by, say, reversing time. I regained my ability to teleport a few seconds after I summoned that sandworm. It's pretty sad that you didn't notice, actually."

Nerdy parried Vengance with Drama.

"You've always seen things and expected them to work out, Platypus. You've never actually had to confront your own illusions."

Nerdy's Plotblade morphed into a shield to block Platypus's counterattack.

"You've always assumed that you have the upper hand. Like how you were so confident in the power of your Plotblade, you failed to realize that it could be taken from you."

Nerdy's blade transformed back into its true form. Nerdy swung the Blade of Drama, knocking the Blade of Vengance out of Platypus's hand.

"This is my fight, Platypus. I brought you here for amusement, and you've been foolish to think that you could defeat me. But that's your whole thing, isn't it? You've always been too foolish to dispel your illusions."

Nerdy puffed away and reappeared in the sky. A slash with their Plotblade summoned another swarm of spectral throwing stars, and a slash of their other hand sent them flying at Platypus.

Sure, if you like. Same sorts of things though. Just makes him much more powerful.

"You think that I was distracted by that? Are you that foolish? That was a class ability, it didn't distract at all. And your stars? You think those work?" Platypus stands and lets them hit. They go straight through him without causing harm.

"You thought you had control here?" Platypus laughed viciously. "All this is what I expected. I plot. I prepare." Platypus disappears and his voice continues speaking from all around. "And when the time comes..." Platypus appears behind Nerdy without him noticing and the crowd gasps. "...I strike!"

Before Nerdy can react, he stabs them in the back of the foot. Nerdy starts to feel his powers being drained.

"Vengeance can always use more strength. It's a shame that you think drama can beat my plans. These plans have been brewing for eons. I never planned to defeat you, I just planned to show your power isn't absolute."

With that, as Nerdy forces Vengeance out of his foot, Platypus disappears from the arena, back to his normal plane of existence.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The crowd booed. They were hoping for a fight to the death.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus' second cousin twice removed's voice booms in the arena. "Nobody cares about what you want! You want a fight to the death, you all can go fight Nerdy to the death!"

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Nerdy suddenly appeared right behind Platypus and stabbed him in the back.

"You almost made that too easy."

Nerdy smiled and pulled the sword out.

"Shame that won't kill you, but, well, you are immortal. I suppose that it will leave you with a nice scar, though."

Nerdy teleported away.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus voice emanates from behind Nerdy.

"Wrong dimension idiot. Only those of my species can enter here. And technically, I can be killed. And it wouldn't have left a scar."

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

"What did I say about illusions, that's an easy enough protection to fool, and the Blade of Drama sorta just makes dramatic scars happen even when they shouldn't. It's actually a pretty nice feature. I think that this Plotblade can also do some other stuff. Hey, can't yours bake waffles? I remember reading that somewhere."

[NameIess]

Subversion felt her hubris sense tingling, and decided to do something about it.