Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

[NameIess]

419: Remember the rule of ones. Anything mentioned one time in the very beginning of your journey will inevitably be the most important thing in the universe.

[FriarFritz]

420: Remember the rule of twos. If anything happens twice, it's not important, but make sure you take note so that you'll know if it happens a third time.

[NameIess]

421: Remember the rule of fours. If anything happens four or more times, it is completely unimportant and will end up being nothing except a distraction.

[Nathrangking he/him]

422. Remember the rules of coincidences: There rarely are any. Everything is purposeful. Ignore nothing!

[Frustration]

423

Remember the authorial number

All authors have them(usually 3 or 7, but if it's Brandon 16 and 10 are quite common. 5 will also sometimes make an appearance)

The universe will cause these numbers to happen when they do it's important.

 

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

424.  If you're adopted, and your parent(s) say they found you abandoned, you were probably forcefully taken from your birth parent(s) and are living with the villain of the story.

425.  Unless you want to be the villain, tell your children they're adopted so it can't be used as a plot twist.  And don't steal babies.

[Negative_Null They/Them]

426

If you're the hero and you hear about the villain's "one weakness", check all your belongings, attributes, companions, personality traits, and known abilities to make sure you do not already possess it in some arcane, unknowable way

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

427a. If you hear a noise in the woods, do not go towards it.

427b. If you happen to ignore rule 427a, make sure you charge the noise as quickly as possible to surprise whatever is hiding there.

427c. Rule 427b is void if the noise is a loved one's voice.

Edited August 10, 2020 by Ghanderflaffle
I know the first one was done before, but I wanted to do the other 2

[Negative_Null They/Them]

Rule 427ca, if it is a loved one's voice, call back to them if you know they're alive, but if you know they're dead, run and get some help. It's never a good sign.

[Kings_way he/they]

rule 428, Don't discuss your plans out loud. If the reader knows your plan, it will fail. If you keep it a surprise, it is more likely to work.

[I Am A Fish he/him]

rule 429, if there is creepy music playing never go into any dark, or enclosed spaces.

[Eluvianii he/him]

430. If you're already a bad guy all the way, try to become as unimportant as possible in order to survive. The alternatives are keeping being bad and being killed by the heroes, or redeem yourself and dying as the final step. 

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

I’m writing a speech based off this idea. I want to thank everyone who has posted, it's made my speech much better than if I had come up with all this myself. I’ll post it when I’m done. I will make sure I credit it to you wonderful people!

[Shard of Reading he/him]

431- Old guys with beards are always right and will always die by the end of the book/series so don't get to attached to them.

[Dunkum he/him]

3 hours ago, Ookla the Bored said:

431- Old guys with beards are always right and will always die by the end of the book/series so don't get to attached to them.

Caveat: except when this conflicts with Clarke's First law: "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."

[Shard of Reading he/him]

1 minute ago, Dunkum said:

Caveat: except when this conflicts with Clarke's First law: "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."

Right I forgot about that.

[Eluvianii he/him]

432. When you notice the signals that a story is happening, make sure you have good hygiene. Otherwise the universe will make sure you become a low rank bad guy. Good hygiene won't guarantee you a spot with the good guys, but it will prevent an unexpected catastrophe from occurring in your life as motivation. 

[Elend Venture he/him]

433. Pay attention to anyone who tells you their name, as they're probably important enough to the plot not to die immediately. Alternately, if you are not the Hero, make sure that they know your name, as it greatly reduces your chances of dying in the first conflict that comes along. 

Spoiler

This rule probably already exists, as it is one of the most common fantasy tropes in existence, but if not, it certainly belongs here.

 

 

 

Edited May 12, 2021 by Elend Venture

[Quivil]

On 12/28/2018 at 9:51 PM, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

280. If a magic sword/object shows you visions, or you hear voices calling you to use it, it is generally a good idea to avoid said magic object.

434. If a magic sword/object talks to you, get rid of it as soon as possible. Chances are it will try or succeed at taking control of you.

On 9/6/2019 at 5:18 PM, Karger said:

354. Don't believe anything or expect consistency with anyone anywhere.

Especially me.

On 11/4/2019 at 7:42 PM, Nameless said:

360a. If you find yourself walking in the woods alone at night, and feel like you're being followed by someone, (or something) start humming or whistling a jaunty tune, and don't falter.

"Oh I'm down in the bottom of a well..."

On 3/10/2020 at 1:16 AM, Silverblade5 said:

381. Never, under any circumstances, split the party. It can only go poorly.

381 Amendment: Be very careful about splitting the party. It can go poorly.

435. ALWAYS travel with a healer - and preferably two.

436. Never scream. Especially not when you're scared. Double especially not once you're almost out of danger.

437. Never ever taunt anyone. Ever.

Edited May 15, 2021 by Tani

[Frustration]

438 whenever you are in increadible danger, don't do anyhting, it would be dissapointing to the readers if that is how you die so the author won't kill you.

[Quivil]

438b: Rule 438 only applies if you are the protagonist of this story.

[Eluvianii he/him]

438c. If you are not the protagonist, then look for something important to the plot, and destroy the evidence if possible. Then you will have to survive so that you can tell the protagonist. 

Edited June 18, 2021 by Eluvianii

[NameIess]

439: If you are the main character, remember to send the side characters off on impossible death missions regularly, so that they can "die" offscreen and come back and save you when you need it.

[Enter a username]

440. If your enemy is taunting you, especially about how they destroyed something with great sentimental value to you (the town where you grew up, your childhood favorite toy, your home planet, etc), keep your anger under control. It’s almost certainly a ploy to kill or capture you, and attacking them right then and there won’t do any good. (Plus, there’s also a chance that they’re lying. It might not be a good chance, depending on a few things, but it’s still a chance.)

[NameIess]

440a. If the villian attempts the opposite, keeping you from killing them via blackmail or threats, just kill them. There's like a 50% chance they're not lying, but there's a 100% chance that not killing them will result in a worse outcome.