Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

[Edema Rue she/her]

686: BE IN SHAPE. FOR STARS SAKE, BE IN SHAPE.

686a: LEARN HOW TO RIDE A HORSE

686b: LEARN HOW TO SWIM

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

687: have diplomatic skills

[Cash67]

On 1/3/2024 at 1:27 AM, Edema Rue said:

686: BE IN SHAPE. FOR STARS SAKE, BE IN SHAPE.

686a: LEARN HOW TO RIDE A HORSE

686b: LEARN HOW TO SWIM

686c: If you cannot do any if these things, it will literally be the death of you or facilitate a necessary rescue that begins a romance subplot. 50/50 odds. 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

687: If you are considering eating a strange plant/mushroom/rock, that may be magical, please consult the following questionnaire:

Q1: Have you found this strange object yourself? If yes, answer Q2. If no, answer Q3.

Q2: Are you old? If yes, you know what you're doing. If no, you will die.

Q3: Is someone offering this object to you? If yes, they are trying to kill you. If no, answer Q4.

Q4: Is someone demanding that you eat this object? If yes, answer Q5. If no, how on Earth did you manage to consider eating something, without finding it yourself or being offered/forced to eat it? You know what, simply for breaking this questionnaire, you will die.

Q5: Are they old? If yes, they know what they're doing and don't care to ask politely. If no, they are trying to kill you.

[Wittles he/him]

688: If you lose your memories, don't stress about it. They'll come back to you when you really need them.

[Edema Rue she/her]

688b: if you’re worried that you were a bad person before, well, you probably were, but still don’t stress about it!! You get to become something better now

[SmilingPanda19 Any!]

689: If you hear music it’s either a musical, or someone is going to die in the next five minutes. 

690: any and all emotional moments end in any of the following:

Death

Kidnapping

Serious Injury

Falling into a pit

Giant bug comes and eats you

That old lady witch that locked you in a tower for 16 years to keep herself young comes and convinces you that your boyfriend doesn’t love you…

Please avoid being emotional in dark creepy places with your childhood best friend or lover at all costs

691:: if you think it won’t be you then it will be you. If you don’t expect it will be you then it will be you. There is no escape.

Edited January 14, 2024 by SmilingPanda19

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

4 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

689: If you hear music it’s either a musical, or someone is going to die in the next five minutes. 

689a:or its a boss. run.

[Lunamor she/her]

690. If you are running away from a large, falling object and/or someone shooting projectiles at you, move in a serpentine pattern instead of a straight line.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

690a. or run sideways instead of directly away

[Lord Spirit he/him]

691. If youre facing a superior warrior who wants to kill you, stall as long possible, or if they insist on fighting, get them to fight you in a “fair” competition that gives you better odds. Do not engage unless they start attacking you. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

692. If there's an ancient civilization who apparently had access to hyperadvanced magic/technology/whatever but also now doesn't exist, it's not a good idea to go try and find their hyperadvanced magic/technology/whatever.

693. Sometimes the mushrooms that kill you are actually friendly.

 

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

694. Never look off a cliff with people around you

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

695 run from any and all magic users expesialy wizards who want you to join a quest.

[Procrastination she/her]

696: if you have the opportunity to learn healing magic or any form of healing wounds, you have to learn it. If you choose not to learn the skill, one of your friends will die in front of you and you will have to think sadly about how you could have saved them.

696 a: If you do choose to learn, make sure to practice. If you don't, one of your friends will die in front of you and you will have to think sadly about how you could have saved them.

696 b: If you do work hard and practice, your friend might still die in front of you, and you will have to think sadly about how you couldn't save them because plot.

697: If you are at a party and somebody is wounded in the epic party battle scene, know that you cannot use wine as a disinfectant. It will not be effective because there is not a high enough alcohol percentage. (Saw this in a book the other day and had to look it up).

[Dunkum he/him]

5 hours ago, Procrastination said:

697: If you are at a party and somebody is wounded in the epic party battle scene, know that you cannot use wine as a disinfectant. It will not be effective because there is not a high enough alcohol percentage. (Saw this in a book the other day and had to look it up).

huh - I'm not surprised about wine, but I was curious what WOULD make a useful disinfectant. based on google results, even most hard liquor isn't concentrated enough. you pretty much need to jump to grain alcohol or other types of things sold specifically for having a lot of alcohol.

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

698: Try to learn/understand political tensions before making a deal with someone.

699:Consult this forum before you leave this world.

700:If you have a chance to kill the evil emperor of the land, TAKE IT, saves so much paperwork..

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

701: avoid lycanthropes. 

[Eluvianii he/him]

702. Not all rules are equal. Some of them will keep you safe and away from the action, some will turn you into an important side character, some will turn you into the protagonist. Heed the rules accordingly.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

703: NO MATING.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

704: be the narrator; they clearly survived. 

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

703a: unless it is a romance story

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

703aii:even then, no mating.

704a: this was going to be a counterpoint, but then I realised that said example is a better example of that breaking the trope is a sign of bad writing. or at the very least, the breaking of this trope tends to appear often in poorly written fanfictions featuring a character named "sonic".

705: wooloo-loo!

Edited May 7, 2024 by Just_a_Fan