The Official Thread of Relationships

[Briar King]

That ll change once you get to your 20's and then you ll be able to tell how much you have changed from teen pics. Then when your in the 30's you ll wish you had it back I promise. The 20's I mean.

Edited February 8, 2017 by Briar King

[Briar King]

Here I ll even embarrass myself a bit to show you how much you ll change. 

Me at 17:

 

Me at 25:

me just now at 36:

 

Edited February 8, 2017 by Briar King

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

daaaam @Briar King, that's quite the transformation, looking fine old man.

[soyperson]

7 hours ago, Kestrel said:

I can tell you right now I'm not beautiful. I'm too short to be beautiful. My face is too round and square, my cheeks are too big. I don't have any figure. I just. I'm not anything to look at and no one will ever notice me. I'm not even that talented. At all. I'm just mediocre at everything I do and I can never get better. The world will pass me up before I have a chance to actually do anything.

Finding love... I'm lonely again this month.

Twi has a point, you know.

Also, @Briar King, I like the long hair thing. 

[Left he/him]

@Kestrel Say whaaaat? You've got a pixie cut? I ADORE pixie cuts!! I think they're the cutest thing ever. 
I also think that mainstream/stereotypical beautiful is over rated. I think it's a waste of energy to worry about fitting that mold.  I see plenty of girls who I know fit the typical "hot/beautiful" mold, but I don't actually find them attractive. Personality is really important to me, and then what I find attractive is just slightly different than maybe the average male's. I think that there's a Lot of guys like me who are fine with the kind of average typical beautiful, but who also really are more attracted to people that don't fit that mold. 

I don't know what you look like, or how old you are, but it does sound like you're still young. You'll grow into yourself Almost nobody looks good when they're young. I had horrible hair, and walked around town wearing really high white socks, shorts, a really baggy t-shirt or baggy button up shirt, and bright white sailor hat, and was slightly overweight. Most of the people I knew then didn't dress that badly, but they still didn't look that great. Now, we all look much much better. It all takes time. 

All that being said, I'm really sorry you don't feel comfortable. It sucks to feel that way. It can get a lot better, it really, really can get a Ton better. For me, things started to get better when I found good people who would let me figure out me, and when I just started trying new things. The more new things you try (minus stuff like drugs, crazy parties, shady stuff etc) the more you can figure out what makes you happy and comfortable, and you can be a lot more comfortable and confident in yourself
Hope this helps!

[Kaymyth she/her]

14 hours ago, Kestrel said:

Cute and adorable isn't what I want to be. Cute and adorable gets you hurt. I'm actually growing out my hair now; I regret ever picking that haircut. It just made me look smaller and weaker.

You so need to read a few Dresden Files novels. Murphy is the perfect example of being tiny and adorable and completely rusting terrifying when pissed off.

Seconding what other people say about looking vastly different as you grow up.  It's true.  I keep my high school yearbooks carefully hidden away so nobody is tempted to look through them and see how ridiculously goofy-looking I was as a teenager.

Or.  OR.  Go to Google, right now, and Google up Charlize Theron's yearbook picture.  She was cute and adorkable, and now she's absolutely stunning.

(As for shape, well, I'm no natural hourglass figure myself.  Very straight waist, even when I'm skinny, which I'm totally not right now.  That doesn't stop me from rocking a look and making my attracted-to-females friends drool at me.)

[Silverblade5 he/him]

On February 6, 2017 at 9:14 PM, Erunion said:

..... that is so, so much a lie of the brain weasels.  

Thats exactly what they tell everybody. 

Me especially. 

 

For the record, I wasn't 'noticed' until I was 19-20.

Also, for the record, saying "I'll be a burden" is the brain weasels favourite lie. If they can make you feel useless? Make you feel that the world is better without you? That's their whole plan. That's their goal. 

And it's a lie. 

Its a thrice cursed storming lie. 

It's the lie they tell me. That they told me for years. It's the lie they told my mom almost every day of her life. Still tell her when she listens. It's the lie they tell you because they want you gone. The brain weasels want you out. 

 

 

Personally, I am a devout Christian. If you are religious, this may help. If not, then up to you. To me the 'brain weasels' are the tools of the Adversary, the devil. And you know why he would use them? 

Becuase he knows that you make the world a better place. Because he knows that you will make the world a better place. 

And he doesn't want that. 

 

 

Dont listen to them. 

 

(If you're not religious, it may help you psychologically to personify the brain weasels as an enemy anyway.)

In the past, my girlfriend has told me that I have a habit of saying/showing her what she needs to hear/see right when she really needs it. Today, I showed her this post. She's informed me that the trend continues. 

[StrikerEZ he/him]

This isn't about my relationship, but about relationships in general and of people I know. 

So, a friend of mine is dating this guy, and whenever I see them around, they're all lovey-dovey (for lack of a better word), and really seem good for each other. But she always talks about him to her friends. I try not to pay attention, but she's kind of a loud talker, so I hear bits. Anyway, it sounds like she really doesn't like him, or at least the things he does, and I've been wondering; are lots of girls like this?

This isn't a diss against girls, I'm just genuinely curious. To me, it doesn't make sense to stay in a relationship like that, even if I feel like I like the other person.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

4 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

This isn't about my relationship, but about relationships in general and of people I know. 

So, a friend of mine is dating this guy, and whenever I see them around, they're all lovey-dovey (for lack of a better word), and really seem good for each other. But she always talks about him to her friends. I try not to pay attention, but she's kind of a loud talker, so I hear bits. Anyway, it sounds like she really doesn't like him, or at least the things he does, and I've been wondering; are lots of girls like this?

This isn't a diss against girls, I'm just genuinely curious. To me, it doesn't make sense to stay in a relationship like that, even if I feel like I like the other person.

Girls do get into relationships sometimes purely to look cool. And besides, maybe she's doing it for his looks.

And girls aren't like that, trust me, some are, but most aren't. 

 

[Briar King]

I'd say it depends on the age group. Teens do this just hear themselves talk lol. They ll learn not do things like this(hopefully anyway) as they mature.

[Delightful]

I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't like. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

10 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

This isn't about my relationship, but about relationships in general and of people I know. 

So, a friend of mine is dating this guy, and whenever I see them around, they're all lovey-dovey (for lack of a better word), and really seem good for each other. But she always talks about him to her friends. I try not to pay attention, but she's kind of a loud talker, so I hear bits. Anyway, it sounds like she really doesn't like him, or at least the things he does, and I've been wondering; are lots of girls like this?

This isn't a diss against girls, I'm just genuinely curious. To me, it doesn't make sense to stay in a relationship like that, even if I feel like I like the other person.

One possibility is that she really does like him, but those things he does drive her crazy, or they're things that she had dismissed as one-off incidents at the beginning of their relationship and now she's learning that they're permanent traits of his. So she talks about them with her friends to try and come to terms with those things, to try and make peace with them. She could also be seeing if her friends think those traits are deal breakers, or if they think she should just deal. 

[Mestiv he/him]

On 8.02.2017 at 5:25 AM, Kestrel said:

Not if you look like an actual child.

I just a head a company meeting, where the whole > 100 people working in the company headquarters gathered to listen to financial results of our company for 2016. If someone from outside the company watched this meeting, he'd say that half of it was conducted by a girl that skipped her classes in high-school. Head sales director of our company has barely over 5 ft. and seriously looks like a child. I'd bet she was the smallest person in the whole room. And yet, she was telling all of us, how she directed sales throughout 20 different countries, how enormous amount of money were spent and gained, what are the expansion plans and how to make our profits even greater.

So here, that's an example that looks are not a limiting factor in your growth

[soyperson]

11 hours ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't like. 

Preach.

[Delightful]

13 hours ago, bleeder said:

Preach.

I'm.......not even sure why this is something that needs to be said. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

19 hours ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

I'm.......not even sure why this is something that needs to be said. 

Well, some people need to understand that dating is not about looks :/ *shrugs*

[Erunion he/him]

@Deliiiiiightful - there's also a lot of extremely unhealthy social and cultural pressure to push people into relationships. 

People are told they can't be complete without a partner. 

People are told that life is all about sex. 

People are told that being a virgin is something to be ashamed/embarrassed about. 

People are told that if they don't date/have a partner they're a loser. 

 

There's a lot of nasty, unhealthy social expectations going around. And so people feel the need to be in a relationship, even if they don't really like/love this person. 

 

(Plus, being lonely sucks and a lot of people will settle for anything as long as they're not lonely. We forget, or don't realize, that being in the wrong relationship is much more painful, and much more damaging in the long run, than being lonely). 

[Quiver he/him]

4 hours ago, Erunion said:

@Deliiiiiightful - there's also a lot of extremely unhealthy social and cultural pressure to push people into relationships. 

People are told they can't be complete without a partner. 

People are told that life is all about sex. 

People are told that being a virgin is something to be ashamed/embarrassed about. 

People are told that if they don't date/have a partner they're a loser. 

 

There's a lot of nasty, unhealthy social expectations going around. And so people feel the need to be in a relationship, even if they don't really like/love this person. 

 

(Plus, being lonely sucks and a lot of people will settle for anything as long as they're not lonely. We forget, or don't realize, that being in the wrong relationship is much more painful, and much more damaging in the long run, than being lonely). 

Quoted and upvoted for (depressing)truth. Those social truths are at least part of why I was really miserable as a teenager

...and okay, still am sort of miserable vis-a-vis the relationship angle.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Anyone else have the "tomorrow is Valentines and you'll be single again, but have neither the money or time to treat yourself and you're feeling like it's not even worth it anyway" blues?

[Left he/him]

5 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Anyone else have the "tomorrow is Valentines and you'll be single again, but have neither the money or time to treat yourself and you're feeling like it's not even worth it anyway" blues?

Preach it!

Honestly I think I'm going to be too busy and enjoying the weather too much to remember what day it is, but still....Ugh. Really looking forward to the day when I'm excited about Valentine's day so that I can do something special for someone special.

But yeah, on my agenda for tomorrow is lots of school, a run, and some DC TV afterwards. Yay.

[Shqueeves he/him]

21 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Anyone else have the "tomorrow is Valentines and you'll be single again, but have neither the money or time to treat yourself and you're feeling like it's not even worth it anyway" blues?

Yes

[The Honor Spren she/her]

1 hour ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Anyone else have the "tomorrow is Valentines and you'll be single again, but have neither the money or time to treat yourself and you're feeling like it's not even worth it anyway" blues?

I have something similar, but not quite! 

Back in Florida, my family would always have a Valentine's Day party with our other homeschooled friends. It was pretty much just hanging out with friends+candy, but this year we're hundreds of miles away from all those people. :/ 

To commemorate the occasion, I'll probably just give heart shaped pieces of paper with puns written on them (e.g. We'd make a great pear) to my seminary class.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Chocolate sale two days from meow!

[StrikerEZ he/him]

You know, it seems like everything people talk about on this page is romantic relationships. Why don't we talk about our family relationships or our relationships with our friends? I say that tomorrow, instead of feeling bad about the lack of a romantic relationship (unlesss you do have a significant other), we celebrate our other relationships and tell our friends and family that we love them. 

Then I realized the tags on this topic are dating and love....

My point still stands though.

Edited February 14, 2017 by StrikerEZ

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I work late tomorrow, so I made a batch of brownies. (I used all brown sugar because I wasn't sure about my white sugar, and let me say—do this thing. Brown sugar brownies are tasty.) I also got some cheese grated and chicken shredded so I can make dang quesadillas after work. (No Napoleon Dynamite, though—my library doesn't have a copy in stock. ) So tomorrow should be decent at least. 

10 minutes ago, StrikerEZ said:

You know, it seems like everything people talk about on this page is romantic relationships. Why don't we talk about our family relationships or our relationships with our friends? I say that tomorrow, instead of feeling bad about the lack of a romantic relationship (unlesss you do have a significant other), we celebrate our other relationships and tell our friends and family that we love them. 

Then I realized the tags on this topic are dating and love....

My point still stands though.

This is a pretty good idea.