Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Guest]

Just now, Slowswift said:

Comes and goes. I'd say it's still alive and kicking, though.

So can I rant about my bad day?

[+Slowswift]

Just now, Elf_at_heart said:

So can I rant about my bad day?

By all means!

[Guest]

36 minutes ago, Slowswift said:

By all means!

Ok, good.

So, let me start out by saying that I am not an adult. I'm 14 and will be 15 in November. So, I still live with my mother.

And oh, my mother is crazy. I am not allowed to have any friends, even though I'd like to, because she thinks that friends are worthless. That they won't help me succeed in life, and so I shouldn't have any. I did manage to make one when I was thirteen, much to her chargrin.

I got the friend's contact number on my phone because I wanted to talk to her, but I lied to my mother saying that it was for "school stuff." I made an instagram account and followed my friend, but then my mother to stop following her. Naturally, I had to tell this to my friend, and now she hates me. The only friend I have ever had and she hates me now. She said that on and off for the past two years, whenever she's trying to be friendly with me, I shut her down by saying "my mother doesn't want me to do this" and that she's tired of feeling like a doormat, and she's done with me. (Mind you, she didn't tell me this. She told this to another boy who relayed it to me. My friend just stopped replying to my messages and left me on read.)

Its true, though! My mother tries to control every aspect of my existence! And she thinks that she is the best mother on earth. One minute she'll be screaming at me for something I did, and the next she'll say that she loves me and she doesn't know what she would do without me. She even threatened to take away my books if I don't do as she says. Its completely exhausting. Because of her I don't know how to be a functional human being. I don't know how to talk to people or how to make friends. And keep them. I don't know how to make it up to my friend.

All my mother wants me to do is study, study, study. Because she never got a degree and failed 12th grade. And she thinks that I might be a failure. I once overheard her telling my elder sister that after my mother failed she was resilient enough to do something with her life, but if I fail I won't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't care that much for studying or my grades. 'C's get degrees baby!'

All I want is to get a degree, get my own house and go on long-term travel around the world. I want my days to be packed with travelling, reading, eating, and studying greek mythology.

I know that for as long as I live under her, I will never have the freedom I desire. And I hate that.

Wow. This was long. If you've made it to the end, you're a hero and I appluad you.

 

 

Edited July 10, 2021 by Elf_at_heart

[+Slowswift]

3 minutes ago, Elf_at_heart said:

Ok, good.

So, let me start out by saying that I am not an adult. I'm 14 and will be 15 in November. So, I still live with my mother.

And oh, my mother is crazy. I am not allowed to have any friends, even though I'd like to, because she thinks that friends are worthless. That they won't help me succeed in life, and so I shouldn't have any. I did manage to make one when I was thirteen, much to her chargrin.

I got the friend's contact number on my phone because I wanted to talk to her, but I lied to my mother saying that it was for "school stuff." I made an instagram account and followed my friend, but then my mother to stop following her. Naturally, I had to tell this to my friend, and now she hates me. The only friend I have ever had and she hates me now. She said that on and off for the past two years, whenever she's trying to be friendly with me, I shut her down by saying "my mother doesn't want me to do this" and that she's tired of feeling like a doormat, and she's done with me. (Mind you, she didn't tell me this. She told this to another boy who relayed it to me. My friend just stopped replying to my messages and left me on read.)

Its true, though! My mother tries to control every aspect of my existence! And she thinks that she is the best mother on earth. One minute she'll be screaming at me for something I did, and the next she'll say that she loves me and she doesn't know what she would do without me. She even treatened to take away my books if I don't do as she says. Its completely exhausting. Because of her I don't know how to be a functional human being. I don't know how to talk to people or how to make friends. And keep them. I don't know how to make it up to my friend.

All my mother wants me to do is study, study, study. Because she never got a degree and failed 12th grade. And she thinks that I might be a failure. I once overheard her telling my elder sister that after my mother failed she was ressilent enought to do something with her life, but if I fail I won't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't care that much for studying or my grades. 'C's get degrees baby!'

All I want is to get a degree, get my own house and go on long-term travel around the world. I want my days to be packed with travelling, reading, eating, and studying greek mythology.

I know that for as long as I live under her, I will never have the freedom I desire. And I hate that.

Wow. This was long. If you've made it to the end, you're a hero and I appluad you.

Well. That's awful.  I am so sorry you have to put up with that and I sincerely hope you can find a way to make it and patch things up with your friend.

Either way, you're here now, and we're happy to have you. Hopefully you can stick around and find some friends here, too!

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Slowswift said:

Well. That's awful.  I am so sorry you have to put up with that and I sincerely hope you can find a way to make it and patch things up with your friend.

Either way, you're here now, and we're happy to have you. Hopefully you can stick around and find some friends here, too!

Thank you so much for your words. They mean a lot to me.

I hope that I can find a way to patch things up with my friend too.

I am so happy to be here and I definitely know that I am going to find some friends here! 

[+Slowswift]

2 minutes ago, Elf_at_heart said:

Thank you so much for your words. They mean a lot to me.

I hope that I can find a way to patch things up with my friend too.

I am so happy to be here and I definitely know that I am going to find some friends here! 

Hey, that's why we're here!

Gotta bounce now, but best of luck!

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Slowswift said:

Hey, that's why we're here!

Gotta bounce now, but best of luck!

Thanks! 

[Marukka]

1 hour ago, Elf_at_heart said:

Ok, good.

So, let me start out by saying that I am not an adult. I'm 14 and will be 15 in November. So, I still live with my mother.

And oh, my mother is crazy. I am not allowed to have any friends, even though I'd like to, because she thinks that friends are worthless. That they won't help me succeed in life, and so I shouldn't have any. I did manage to make one when I was thirteen, much to her chargrin.

I got the friend's contact number on my phone because I wanted to talk to her, but I lied to my mother saying that it was for "school stuff." I made an instagram account and followed my friend, but then my mother to stop following her. Naturally, I had to tell this to my friend, and now she hates me. The only friend I have ever had and she hates me now. She said that on and off for the past two years, whenever she's trying to be friendly with me, I shut her down by saying "my mother doesn't want me to do this" and that she's tired of feeling like a doormat, and she's done with me. (Mind you, she didn't tell me this. She told this to another boy who relayed it to me. My friend just stopped replying to my messages and left me on read.)

Its true, though! My mother tries to control every aspect of my existence! And she thinks that she is the best mother on earth. One minute she'll be screaming at me for something I did, and the next she'll say that she loves me and she doesn't know what she would do without me. She even threatened to take away my books if I don't do as she says. Its completely exhausting. Because of her I don't know how to be a functional human being. I don't know how to talk to people or how to make friends. And keep them. I don't know how to make it up to my friend.

All my mother wants me to do is study, study, study. Because she never got a degree and failed 12th grade. And she thinks that I might be a failure. I once overheard her telling my elder sister that after my mother failed she was resilient enough to do something with her life, but if I fail I won't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't care that much for studying or my grades. 'C's get degrees baby!'

All I want is to get a degree, get my own house and go on long-term travel around the world. I want my days to be packed with travelling, reading, eating, and studying greek mythology.

I know that for as long as I live under her, I will never have the freedom I desire. And I hate that.

Wow. This was long. If you've made it to the end, you're a hero and I appluad you.

 

 

That is absolutely horrible. 

I am actually lost for words. I don't know from which country you are, but there might be people who could help you. Your mother seems to have been through a lot and probably really needs help (although she'd probably denies it) and you are really suffering for it. Are there any teachers you can trust with your story? They might be a lot closer than any more or less anonymus friends in a forum. 

And no, friends are not worthless in life. Actual gool friends help you through hard times and give you strength, fun brings creativity and laughter, sharing and discussing, even fighting opens your mind to endless opinions and possibilities. There is not one way to live life but as many ways as there are people on earth. It never hurts to explore because without discovering new things there can be no growth, no progess. 

I hope that you can find a way to make things better or to get help, and that you have the strenght to get through this horrible time. Keep you head up, if nowhere else, you have friends here and you are not worthless! *HUG*

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Marukka said:

That is absolutely horrible. 

I am actually lost for words. I don't know from which country you are, but there might be people who could help you. Your mother seems to have been through a lot and probably really needs help (although she'd probably denies it) and you are really suffering for it. Are there any teachers you can trust with your story? They might be a lot closer than any more or less anonymus friends in a forum. 

And no, friends are not worthless in life. Actual gool friends help you through hard times and give you strength, fun brings creativity and laughter, sharing and discussing, even fighting opens your mind to endless opinions and possibilities. There is not one way to live life but as many ways as there are people on earth. It never hurts to explore because without discovering new things there can be no growth, no progess. 

I hope that you can find a way to make things better or to get help, and that you have the strenght to get through this horrible time. Keep you head up, if nowhere else, you have friends here and you are not worthless! *HUG*

Thanks so much for this.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much else for me to do except keep my head up, suffer through this, and try to build a better future for myself.

Yes, my mother would absolutely deny that she needs any help. (Not that anyone's ever broached the topic to her, but she'd a 100% deny it.) I think I might have OCD and I hinted this to her once, and she told me that I only think that because of the books I read and nothing like OCD exists in real life.

No, there's absolutely no one else I can trust with my story.

Thanks for telling me that friends are not worthless in life and that I am not worthless. I needed that reminder.

All I think about everyday is the future that I want to build for myself. And that keeps me going. And also this website. It's just full of the kindest people ever. I want to be like y'all. Thanks everybody!

Edited July 10, 2021 by Elf_at_heart

[Marukka]

Again, feel hugged and keep your head up! Maybe you can talk to your mother about wanting to get a job. A lot of the kids in my school had one on the side when they were you age. It ranged from paper routes to small jobs in a supermarket. You can sell that to her by making it about learning in the real world and actual jobs of any kind are very positive on your cv (for applying to better jobs). It might give you some automity and much needed space and time away from your mother.

I am a lot older than you, but at that age my best friend was also never good enough for her mother. She suffered a lot, and most of all she started to believe that she was really worthless.  She developed several eating disorders and went as far as trying to kill herself. She got the help she needed eventually but asking someone else to help was the hardest thing for her. She was in a terrible place and it never was her fault but she felt that she had to get through it all on her own nevertheless. Do not forget that you are not alone. If everything seems dark, you can always call 800-273-8255 (for the US) and just anonymously talk. There are people who are a lot better in listening and helping than I am. And just talking can help. You are not alone, you are never alone! *Hug*

[Guest]

17 hours ago, Marukka said:

Again, feel hugged and keep your head up! Maybe you can talk to your mother about wanting to get a job. A lot of the kids in my school had one on the side when they were you age. It ranged from paper routes to small jobs in a supermarket. You can sell that to her by making it about learning in the real world and actual jobs of any kind are very positive on your cv (for applying to better jobs). It might give you some automity and much needed space and time away from your mother.

I am a lot older than you, but at that age my best friend was also never good enough for her mother. She suffered a lot, and most of all she started to believe that she was really worthless.  She developed several eating disorders and went as far as trying to kill herself. She got the help she needed eventually but asking someone else to help was the hardest thing for her. She was in a terrible place and it never was her fault but she felt that she had to get through it all on her own nevertheless. Do not forget that you are not alone. If everything seems dark, you can always call 800-273-8255 (for the US) and just anonymously talk. There are people who are a lot better in listening and helping than I am. And just talking can help. You are not alone, you are never alone! *Hug*

Aw. Thanks.

Where I come from (not America or Europe) you can't get a job before eighteen, or atleast sixteen.

But still your words mean a lot to me. I know I am not alone.

Thank you so much! 

*Hugs back*

EDIT: I edited some stuff out. Just cause.

Edited July 11, 2021 by Elf_at_heart

[Marukka]

53 minutes ago, Elf_at_heart said:

Aw. Thanks.

Where I come from (not America or Europe) you can't get a job before eighteen, or atleast sixteen.

But still your words mean a lot to me. I know I am not alone. And things did get a bit better, later. The original friend is still angry with me, but the boy who relayed it to me said that he would be my friend. And he's starting a group chat with him, another boy, and me. He told me that I should just move on. And I guess I should. Friendships are fickle, right?

Thank you so much! 

*Hugs back*

Yes, friendships can be hard, some will be, some won't. Just never forget that friendships (same as love or happiness) are like a good fart.

Spoiler

If you force it too much, it'll turn into crap. 

Anyway, don't let yourself get too down, things will get better. And if you need to vent your frustration again, you'll always find someone to talk to here! 

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Marukka said:

Yes, friendships can be hard, some will be, some won't. Just never forget that friendships (same as love or happiness) are like a good fart.

  Reveal hidden contents

If you force it too much, it'll turn into crap. 

Anyway, don't let yourself get too down, things will get better. And if you need to vent your frustration again, you'll always find someone to talk to here! 

Ha Ha! That was funny.

Thanks again to everybody! 

[Nathrangking he/him]

21 hours ago, Elf_at_heart said:

Ok, good.

So, let me start out by saying that I am not an adult. I'm 14 and will be 15 in November. So, I still live with my mother.

And oh, my mother is crazy. I am not allowed to have any friends, even though I'd like to, because she thinks that friends are worthless. That they won't help me succeed in life, and so I shouldn't have any. I did manage to make one when I was thirteen, much to her chargrin.

I got the friend's contact number on my phone because I wanted to talk to her, but I lied to my mother saying that it was for "school stuff." I made an instagram account and followed my friend, but then my mother to stop following her. Naturally, I had to tell this to my friend, and now she hates me. The only friend I have ever had and she hates me now. She said that on and off for the past two years, whenever she's trying to be friendly with me, I shut her down by saying "my mother doesn't want me to do this" and that she's tired of feeling like a doormat, and she's done with me. (Mind you, she didn't tell me this. She told this to another boy who relayed it to me. My friend just stopped replying to my messages and left me on read.)

Its true, though! My mother tries to control every aspect of my existence! And she thinks that she is the best mother on earth. One minute she'll be screaming at me for something I did, and the next she'll say that she loves me and she doesn't know what she would do without me. She even threatened to take away my books if I don't do as she says. Its completely exhausting. Because of her I don't know how to be a functional human being. I don't know how to talk to people or how to make friends. And keep them. I don't know how to make it up to my friend.

All my mother wants me to do is study, study, study. Because she never got a degree and failed 12th grade. And she thinks that I might be a failure. I once overheard her telling my elder sister that after my mother failed she was resilient enough to do something with her life, but if I fail I won't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't care that much for studying or my grades. 'C's get degrees baby!'

All I want is to get a degree, get my own house and go on long-term travel around the world. I want my days to be packed with travelling, reading, eating, and studying greek mythology.

I know that for as long as I live under her, I will never have the freedom I desire. And I hate that.

Wow. This was long. If you've made it to the end, you're a hero and I appluad you.

*Hugs.* @Slowswift and @Marukka are hard acts to follow. As they said you are not alone nor are you worthless!! I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through. However, let me say this making and holding onto friends is not an easy thing. Your desire to make friends is already the first step. You will not remain alone. The world is out there waiting for you. In time things will get better. When it will I cannot say, but if you keep that fire lit within you, then nothing will be able to stand in your way. We are here for you. If you ever need to vent my DM's are open. 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

*Hugs.* @Slowswift and @Marukka are hard acts to follow. As they said you are not alone nor are you worthless!! I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through. However, let me say this making and holding onto friends is not an easy thing. Your desire to make friends is already the first step. You will not remain alone. The world is out there waiting for you. In time things will get better. When it will I cannot say, but if you keep that fire lit within you, then nothing will be able to stand in your way. We are here for you. If you ever need to vent my DM's are open. 

Thank you so much for this! Your words mean a lot to me. 

It still surprises me how kind all the people on this website are!

Yes, I will keep that fire lit and let nothing stamp it out.

[AonEne he/him]

On 7/10/2021 at 2:17 AM, Elf_at_heart said:

Yes, my mother would absolutely deny that she needs any help. (Not that anyone's ever broached the topic to her, but she'd a 100% deny it.) I think I might have OCD and I hinted this to her once, and she told me that I only think that because of the books I read and nothing like OCD exists in real life.

Ah, don't we all wish. I hope it turns out to not be as bad as that, but if it is OCD I wish you luck. 

I also wish you luck in getting out of there as soon as possible; I'm late, but that's an absolutely awful situation to be in and I wish I could help. *sends hugs* You deserve much better and I'm so sorry you're not currently getting it. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, AonEne said:

Ah, don't we all wish. I hope it turns out to not be as bad as that, but if it is OCD I wish you luck. 

I also wish you luck in getting out of there as soon as possible; I'm late, but that's an absolutely awful situation to be in and I wish I could help. *sends hugs* You deserve much better and I'm so sorry you're not currently getting it. 

Thank you so much for saying this! Thank you for believing in me.

You are helping me. The words of everyone on this site are more than enough help. They keep me going. 

Edited July 18, 2021 by Elf_at_heart

[Draginon he/him]

Not really bad but more something that makes me angry.

I have this one coworker who I was friendly with but over the past year he’s been getting a bit insufferable. He keeps going on with conspiracy theory stuff and says stuff that is pretty bigoted. The biggest bigotry he displays is his views on LGBT rights, especially trans rights. He refuses to acknowledge their correct gender and pronouns and treats it as them lying and practically drag queens. The worst part is how he says it all in a calm, matter of fact way that makes it insufferable.

Then his opinions on the government, which I never bring up but it comes into the conversation anyway, go into the direction of “Republicans: good and honest, Democrats: communists and destroyers” and he ignores all the good that FDR, a democrat, did to get our country out of the depression and conveniently forgets about watergate which involved a Republican.

Then his conspiracy stuff is grating on my nerves. His current ones are COVID vaccine denier level just so you get the idea. Then there are others where it’s untrue, like one where the Wizard of Oz is a metaphor for the power of gold and they changed the silver shoes to Ruby to cover that up when I keep telling him they changed the shoe color because they wanted to show off how good technicolor was since silver wouldn’t be quite as flashy as a bright color like red.

He’s also vegetarian but he at least doesn’t shove that towards anyone but today he tried giving me the ‘vegans are superior to everyone’ spiel by claiming every single winner of the Olympics and other sports are vegan and when I pointed out the lie in it, since lots of those athletes eat McDonald’s and protein shakes, and he tried backtracking!

What just makes all this bad is he’s not really a bad guy but he just gets to where he rubs you the wrong way after a while to the point that you want to yell at him to shut the crem up.

[Mist she/her]

*hugs* both Draginon and just everyone on this thread

[Nathrangking he/him]

Sometimes I have such a hard time remembering that I can only do that which I can. My role as a academic tutor whom others rely on is something that I take seriously. The expectations that fall on my shoulders both self imposed and those of others is quite heavy. I so badly want those who seek my help to do well. When they don't I always feel as though I'm somewhat to blame. A friend told me not to see it indicating that I am a failure. As hard as I try though It's just so difficult not to. This is especially true when the student digs in the knife when they get anything less than a magic pill. I sympathize with a student that I dealt with recently that the final paper that they are doing is important. I give it my all every time. How much more can I give though? She wanted me to give her specific things to write and accused me of not doing my job when I did not do so. I do not shy away from reexplaining things as necessary. I did so a number of times with this student and left time for the student to ask questions or demand clarification. Am I truly to blame for not telling her what to write? There was a lot of fundamental work to be done I just don't know how to feel. 

Thank you all for listening to my mini rant!

[Marukka]

5 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

Sometimes I have such a hard time remembering that I can only do that which I can. My role as a academic tutor whom others rely on is something that I take seriously. The expectations that fall on my shoulders both self imposed and those of others is quite heavy. I so badly want those who seek my help to do well. When they don't I always feel as though I'm somewhat to blame. A friend told me not to see it indicating that I am a failure. As hard as I try though It's just so difficult not to. This is especially true when the student digs in the knife when they get anything less than a magic pill. I sympathize with a student that I dealt with recently that the final paper that they are doing is important. I give it my all every time. How much more can I give though? She wanted me to give her specific things to write and accused me of not doing my job when I did not do so. I do not shy away from reexplaining things as necessary. I did so a number of times with this student and left time for the student to ask questions or demand clarification. Am I truly to blame for not telling her what to write? There was a lot of fundamental work to be done I just don't know how to feel. 

Thank you all for listening to my mini rant!

*hug*

Well, let me start by saing that she is not a very nice person. There are some terms I would use to describe her that I try very hard not to use anymore, I got kids. 

And don't get yourself down. It's been an eternity since I tutored someone and it was in every case easy to see when someone actually wanted to do better. I never got any grief over not helping a lot but one of my friends at the time actually expected me to do her homework (she was studying medicine at the time and did not like the chemistry aspect of it which was incidently what I was studying) and got storming mad at me when I refused. It's basicly the same thing. People expecting problems to magically disappear without any input from them. Especially if money is involved. 

Anyway, tutoring is not an easy job. And I guess that few students ever appreciate that. You should really work on listening to your friend. You are not responsible for others failures, you can only do so much and if the other person acts as if you are responsible for walking the whole way, they will never reach their goal. It is not the nicest thing to say, but you should try to be more cynical or you'll inevitably end up with a burn out. Focus on the ones who were receptive for your help and not on those who don't really try. Do not take your work home, especially emotionally. Your students won't die from failing and if you can't seperate yourself from their failure you'll end up unable to help anyone. My husband is a nurse, similar effect there. And he can't stop complaining of his colleagues who work themselves up trying to help everybody, then burning out while giving the administration the feeling that they could run the hospital with even less nurses and paying them even less. Ok, that was a bit off, but the point is that you'll need to be able to still help yourself in order to be able to help others. And that is probably as hard as tutoring someone really stubborn. 

[+Slowswift]

Sometimes you just feel a certain way, y'know?

[Draginon he/him]

More an “are fracking kidding me!!” than anything.

At my crem job for the upcoming week they are requiring everyone to wear certain colors for ‘solidarity’. The first one, pink, doesn’t apply to me but the one I have to go to requires yellow. Not just yellow but a collared yellow shirt. I don’t own yellow anything unless it’s part of a picture, graphic, design or pattern on the shirt because I don’t like yellow. I don’t mind yellow but I don’t like wearing it at all. Same goes for red.

I only needed it for one hour so I wasn’t going to spend a lot on a throwaway shirt. I spent the better part of my day looking for a damnation cheap yellow shirt with a collar and everyone was selling them for $40,$50,$60 but had regular yellow shirts for $5-$10.

I was getting so frustrated I was at the point of wanting to do malicious compliance by getting a horrid mustard yellow shirt for $32 but I tried JC Penny’s last and they had a pastel yellow collared shirt for $10 and finally got that done.

Seriously, why do businesses where it doesn’t matter what you wear for your job try to put its employees in unsuitable outfits? My current line of work involves doing dirty things so jeans and a nothing shirt would do but no I have to wear business clothing, slacks and collared shirts, because the superintendent and her husband are so controlling and don’t want anyone to appear ‘lazy’ or ‘sloven’ looking if a parent happens to be near and I’m rarely in contact with areas where parents and when I am it’s in out of the way areas or after the schools are out but heaven forbid I cross paths with a parent in the parking lot wearing jeans and a tee.

[Tesh Any pronouns]

Gahhhh.

Haven't posted here in a while...

So I just got back from a fairly short backpacking trip this afternoon. It was just an overnight thing, we only went about nine miles, nothing very special. 

Finally I got home, and it was great. I caught up on a couple texts I'd missed, and stuff like that. I was about to head into the shower when a friend of mine texted me and said that the AP scores were out. So in an instant, I went from pretty dang exhausted but also pretty content to really on edge and kind of excited. I'd known that I had passed the test. I didn't doubt it. I just knew that sometimes when I take tests and feel like I did well I end up... not doing well. Or I could have done really well, which I felt like I had. I looked it up, and I had gotten a five. It took me about five minutes to stop shaking. So then I called my mom to tell her my score. She's a teacher and so was at my school and told my math teacher from last year, and both were super happy and enthusiastic about it. And then right after that my mom told me that I wouldn't be able to take this class that I wanted to next year. I had taken this class last year, but it was AWESOME. And it changes every year, and I would love to redo a lot of those activities, plus I have two really good friends who are also taking it this year, where last year I literally knew no one in there. But I wouldn't be able to get credit for it, because I'd already taken it. That wasn't a concern, though, because I do well in school and almost have enough credits to graduate as it is. So my councilor said she could make it work, most likely. So I was worried about that all summer, but I thought that it would happen in the end. But then a few days ago she emailed me and said that I had to pick a different elective because I couldn't get credit if I retook this class. But then I told her that a couple months ago she had said that she could make it work. So she said that she would see what she could do.

And guess what.

I can't take it because 34 other people are already in the class.

I can't take it even though it was my first choice of elective.

And so I went from exhaustion to elation to being thoroughly depressed, all in about ten minutes. (There are other reasons I'm really upset about not being able to take that class, but the fact that I should be taking it is the biggest one at the moment.)

So I took a nap. On my floor.

And when I woke up I realized my sister hadn't fed my bird while I was gone and that he was starving.

And then I also realized that I hadn't been paid yet, even though my payday was yesterday.

So at this point, I don't even care at all that I got a five on the AP test. I'm too tired, too sad, too overwhelmed, too anxious, and too mad to even consider trying to be happy about it.

And it's also about 80 degrees outside and I have a very low tolerance for heat so I just feel all-around miserable.

So there's that.

*sigh*

[AonEne he/him]

*hugs @Tesh*