Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Guest]

My home situation is getting worse and worse. When schools reopened, I went to talk to my counselor, but now its Christmas vacation, and every day is a struggle. Also there's a chance on a lockdown once again happening in my city (hence, schools closed) and I am pretty scared of that. I am hoping for online exams, but school was my only solace and I don't want that taken away. My counselor was the only one I could confide in. How do I cope with it all?

And I can tell you one thing to describe what is happening at my home, is that the situation is pretty much like Shallan's was in the fact that I am not hit, but I watch my little brother get hit almost constantly.

Plus, I am not allowed to go anywhere without my mother tracking my every movement.  And she constantly puts me down. She wont ever accept my views and if I say something she disagrees with, she'll shout about how what I am saying is wrong, and I how am very close minded. If I stay in my bedroom, and I am not studying, she'll tell me to keep the door open and that there is no reason for me to close it. She makes everything about her. I told her that I had nearly read 50 books this year (something I was very excited about) and she said that 50 books was not a lot and when she was younger than me she must have 50 books in two months. She tells me constantly how weird I am and how physically weak I am, and puts me down like that. If I read, she tells me to use my time in things that matter. Please help me, please give me some consolation. I hope I don't sound selfish right now.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Elf

[Robin Sedai she/her]

I'm so sorry you're having a bad time, Elf. *many, many hugs*  Keep hanging on and remember that things will get better (I know it sounds cliched, but my own home life is seven kinds of stormed up right now, and that's what I keep telling myself.) 

And you are not being selfish in any way. From what you said, you are definitely in a stressful situation, and it's completely okay and normal to feel sad, angry, or depressed. Remember that I'm always there if you want to talk.

*more hugs*

[Guest]

Thank you. I just edited my post to have more detail cause I was being kinda vague. But thanks so much for your reply. 

And you deserve hugs too. 

*Lots of Hugs*

Edited December 30, 2021 by Elf

[Marukka]

Don't worry about sounding selfish, you don't! Furthermore, you should at least hear that asking for help is a smart thing. Always! Even when it makes you feel insignificant or even stupid for not figuring things out for yourself,  it is a smart thing to recognize when you need help. And you already said enough about your situation at home to really justify that. Most times here, you seem just like any other happy poster here, no one would guess the situation you're in. Carrying on like that only shows that you are a very strong person. Still, feel hugged right now. 

Concerning Lockdowns... I really do not know how the country you live in deals with the pandamic. Mine (Germany) does very poorly. Even though the number of infected persons is skyrocketing, it is all but certain that there won't be another lockdown. The reasons for that are purely political and not at all connected to the overworked healtycare system. A few month ago we had elections and no one dared to do anything out of the fear of losing voters. The new government is completely overwhelmed with all the problems that have to be fixed and so far nothing happens. 

I'm sorry, I drifted off. My point was that there are some very stupid reasons to delay things like lockdowns and more often than not, politics stand in the way of otherwise good measures to fight the pandemic. At least in Germany. So perhaps a lockdown in your town/country is less likely than it seems. 

As always, keep your head up! *hug*

Edited December 30, 2021 by Marukka
Spelling is fun!

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, Marukka said:

Don't worry about sounding selfish, you don't! Furthermore, you should at least hear that asking for help is a smart thing. Always! Even when it makes you feel insignificant or even stupid for not figuring things out for yourself,  it is a smart thing to recognize when you need help. And you already said enough about your situation at home to really justify that. Most times here, you seem just like any other happy poster here, no one would guess the situation you're in. Carrying on like that only shows that you are a very strong person. Still, feel hugged right now. 

Concerning Lockdowns... I really do not know how the country you live in deals with the pandamic. Mine (Germany) does very poorly. Even though the number of infected persons is skyrocketing, it is all but certain that there won't be another lockdown. The reasons for that are purely political and not at all connected to the overworked healtycare system. A few month ago we had elections and no one dared to do anything out of the fear of losing voters. The new government is completely overwhelmed with all the problems that have to be fixed and so far nothing happens. 

I'm sorry, I drifted off. My point was that there are some very stupid reasons to delay things like lockdowns and more often than not, politics stand in the way of otherwise good measures to fight the pandemic. At least in Germany. So perhaps a lockdown in your town/country is less likely than it seems. 

As always, keep your head up! *hug*

Thank you so much for that! Your kind words mean a lot. What you said about lockdown, I do hope it's true. But there is a big chance of it happening. Still, thank you for everything you said and for calling me strong . 

 I realised that asking for help is a good things and that's why I went to my counselor. That decision was partly becuase of the Shard due to when I posted in this thread in July and recieved so much of support from you and the other Sharders. So thank you for that too

 I do hope things get better in Germany, and I hope everything is in peace one day for everybody.

[AonEne he/him]

*hugs* You are definitely, absolutely valid and not selfish to be feeling these things. I hope things get better for your and your brother soon. 

[Guest]

Thank you so much for that. Your support means a lot to me. .

And things will get better. I will do anything it takes to have the kind of life I've always desired. Soon my days will be filled with travelling, books, and tea, and I won't have to worry about anything.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Elf

[Nathrangking he/him]

5 hours ago, Elf said:

My home situation is getting worse and worse. When schools reopened, I went to talk to my counselor, but now its Christmas vacation, and every day is a struggle. Also there's a chance on a lockdown once again happening in my city (hence, schools closed) and I am pretty scared of that. I am hoping for online exams, but school was my only solace and I don't want that taken away. My counselor was the only one I could confide in. How do I cope with it all?

And I can tell you one thing to describe what is happening at my home, is that the situation is pretty much like Shallan's was in the fact that I am not hit, but I watch my little brother get hit almost constantly.

Plus, I am not allowed to go anywhere without my mother tracking my every movement.  And she constantly puts me down. She wont ever accept my views and if I say something she disagrees with, she'll shout about how what I am saying is wrong, and I how am very close minded. If I stay in my bedroom, and I am not studying, she'll tell me to keep the door open and that there is no reason for me to close it. She makes everything about her. I told her that I had nearly read 50 books this year (something I was very excited about) and she said that 50 books was not a lot and when she was younger than me she must have 50 books in two months. She tells me constantly how weird I am and how physically weak I am, and puts me down like that. If I read, she tells me to use my time in things that matter. Please help me, please give me some consolation. I hope I don't sound selfish right now.

Firstly, *Hugs.*. Now that that that is out of the way. I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like going through what you are going through. That being said I think that you truly are strong as others have said!! You seek light in darkness and don't succumb to it. Yours is a strength that is to be admired. You certainly are not selfish for using the shard to vent. Lord knows in my years here I have vented so much that sometimes I'm surprised that the shard has not collectively told me to shove it. We are here for each other now and until the internet runs cold. There will be warmth again. Things will get better. If you ever need to vent or talk my DM's are open!

 

Fields of gold glistening in splendid light. A throne rises up and blesses both earth and sky. They sing in unison an endless song that bears power for all time. In the heights sun and moon gaze in envy at power they may never hold. While below warmth does descend as a cloak ready for the ruler who would sit upon the serenaded chair.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Nathrangking

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Nathrangking said:

Firstly, *Hugs.*. Now that that that is out of the way. I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like going through what you are going through. That being said I think that you truly are strong as others have said!! You seek light in darkness and don't succumb to it. Yours is a strength that is to be admired. You certainly are not selfish for using the shard to vent. Lord knows in my years here I have vented so much that sometimes I'm surprised that the shard has not collectively told me to shove it. We are here for each other now and until the internet runs cold. There will be warmth again. Things will get better. If you ever need to vent or talk my DM's are open!

 

Fields of gold glistening in splendid light. A throne rises up and blesses both earth and sky. They sing in unison an endless song that bears power for all time. In the heights of sun and moon gaze in envy at power they may never hold. While below warmth does descend as a cloak ready for the ruler who would sit upon the serenaded chair.

THANK YOU! I love your poems  Your poetry always makes me feel very calm and happy  

And thank you for everything you said and the offer of venting in your DMs. You have no idea how much your words mean to me. And if you ever need to vent then my DMs are open too. 

All the replies here are strengthening my resolve. I really thank the Shard for being what it is.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Elf

[Nathrangking he/him]

I'm back. I need the support that you all provide. Once again life is throwing out the haymakers and flattening me in the process. The last month has been intense. The woman that I was dating for months  broke up with me out of nowhere. It completely blindsided me. I had thought things were going well and then out of the blue I get knocked down with this. Multiple promising job opportunities fell through and I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to react anymore. I feel so much the impostor. Everything that I think that I am I am clearly not. Everything that I touch seems doomed to fail. I can't get a steady job. I apparently can't hold on to a meaningful relationship. The frustration is mounting and all I can think is maybe I should just stop caring. I can't be bothered or hurt if I don't invest emotionally. I know that that is a poor attitude, but 'm just so overwhelmed by the frustration and hurt that I jump to that conclusion. I know I'm a burden with my constant problems. I thank the shard for hearing me when others might not necessarily!

Edited January 13, 2022 by Nathrangking

[Marukka]

38 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

I'm back. I need the support that you all provide. Once again life is throwing out the haymakers and flattening me in the process. The last month has been intense. The woman that I was dating for months  broke up with me out of nowhere. It completely blindsided me. I had thought things were going well and then out of the blue I get knocked down with this. Multiple promising job opportunities fell through and I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to react anymore. I feel so much the impostor. Everything that I think that I am I am clearly not. Everything that I touch seems doomed to fail. I can't get a steady job. I apparently can't hold on to a meaningful relationship. The frustrating is mounting and all I can think is maybe I should just stop caring. I can't be bothered or hurt if I don't invest emotionally. I know that that is a poor attitude, but 'm just so overwhelmed by the frustration and hurt that I jump to that conclusion. I know I'm a burden with my constant problems. I thank the shard for hearing me when others might not necessarily!

First of all, you are not a burden, no matter how it feels to you. Everyone has their times when they need the support of others and if they say they don't, they lie. It really reads like you are having a rough time. Being dumped is pretty bad in itself and even on it's own really has the power to make you doubt everything you felt was right and true. Sadly, I have no advise for that, everybody has their own way to deal with that. Some just go out and party to take their mind off things (really great in a pandamic btw.) others bury themselves in work and others still need to sit around, listen to some sad music and feel bad. I always was the third type and even though it seems to be the worst way to deal with it, it was the right way for me. It always got better eventually and somehow always got me to more appreciate the little things. I still remember vividly a morning when I way about 17ys, it was winter and had just rained, resulting in about a cm (maybe half an inch) of ice covering everything. I sat behind the balcony window, pitying everybody who needed to go outside and just sitting in a warm ray of sun. Really feeling its soft warmth. Just knowing, that everything was going to be alright. 

It is hard for you right now. It will get better. Just remember that you are not alone. Doesn't matter that it doesn't feel that way now. You are not alone and as long as you come here, we'll listen to you and we're always good for a free hug! *hug*  

[Robin Sedai she/her]

I'm sorry, that sounds terrible *hugs* You aren't a burden, Nath. You need a little support when you're going through a bad time; so what? We all do. Remember the good times, and try to believe that it will get better.

[Experience he/him]

8 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

I'm back. I need the support that you all provide. Once again life is throwing out the haymakers and flattening me in the process. The last month has been intense. The woman that I was dating for months  broke up with me out of nowhere. It completely blindsided me. I had thought things were going well and then out of the blue I get knocked down with this. Multiple promising job opportunities fell through and I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to react anymore. I feel so much the impostor. Everything that I think that I am I am clearly not. Everything that I touch seems doomed to fail. I can't get a steady job. I apparently can't hold on to a meaningful relationship. The frustration is mounting and all I can think is maybe I should just stop caring. I can't be bothered or hurt if I don't invest emotionally. I know that that is a poor attitude, but 'm just so overwhelmed by the frustration and hurt that I jump to that conclusion. I know I'm a burden with my constant problems. I thank the shard for hearing me when others might not necessarily!

You're amazing Nath. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

8 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

I'm back. I need the support that you all provide. Once again life is throwing out the haymakers and flattening me in the process. The last month has been intense. The woman that I was dating for months  broke up with me out of nowhere. It completely blindsided me. I had thought things were going well and then out of the blue I get knocked down with this. Multiple promising job opportunities fell through and I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to react anymore. I feel so much the impostor. Everything that I think that I am I am clearly not. Everything that I touch seems doomed to fail. I can't get a steady job. I apparently can't hold on to a meaningful relationship. The frustration is mounting and all I can think is maybe I should just stop caring. I can't be bothered or hurt if I don't invest emotionally. I know that that is a poor attitude, but I'm just so overwhelmed by the frustration and hurt that I jump to that conclusion. I know I'm a burden with my constant problems. I thank the shard for hearing me when others might not necessarily!

*hugsss*

Nath, you're one of my favorite people on the Shard, you're incredible. If you need anything, feel free to reach out. You're not a burden, it's okay to not be okay, and when you're not okay, it's good to ask for help or talk about it.

We love you and we're here for you.

[Nathrangking he/him]

11 hours ago, Marukka said:

First of all, you are not a burden, no matter how it feels to you. Everyone has their times when they need the support of others and if they say they don't, they lie. It really reads like you are having a rough time. Being dumped is pretty bad in itself and even on it's own really has the power to make you doubt everything you felt was right and true. Sadly, I have no advise for that, everybody has their own way to deal with that. Some just go out and party to take their mind off things (really great in a pandamic btw.) others bury themselves in work and others still need to sit around, listen to some sad music and feel bad. I always was the third type and even though it seems to be the worst way to deal with it, it was the right way for me. It always got better eventually and somehow always got me to more appreciate the little things. I still remember vividly a morning when I way about 17ys, it was winter and had just rained, resulting in about a cm (maybe half an inch) of ice covering everything. I sat behind the balcony window, pitying everybody who needed to go outside and just sitting in a warm ray of sun. Really feeling its soft warmth. Just knowing, that everything was going to be alright. 

It is hard for you right now. It will get better. Just remember that you are not alone. Doesn't matter that it doesn't feel that way now. You are not alone and as long as you come here, we'll listen to you and we're always good for a free hug! *hug*  

6 hours ago, Robin Hatter said:

I'm sorry, that sounds terrible *hugs* You aren't a burden, Nath. You need a little support when you're going through a bad time; so what? We all do. Remember the good times, and try to believe that it will get better.

3 hours ago, Experience said:

You're amazing Nath. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.

3 hours ago, DramaQueen said:

*hugsss*

Nath, you're one of my favorite people on the Shard, you're incredible. If you need anything, feel free to reach out. You're not a burden, it's okay to not be okay, and when you're not okay, it's good to ask for help or talk about it.

We love you and we're here for you.

First, how in the almighty's tenth name do I deserve any of you?!?! I rant and I rant and your understanding seems without limit. Blessings without limit should spill upon you commensurate with your patience.

Second, I don't know either of you very well, but @Marukka and @Robin Hatter your words mean more than you know. When I get into my own head things get rougher than they actually are. I sometimes need to get pulled out of it.

Thirdly, @Experience and @DramaQueen you two I do know somewhat well. I'm blushing you two! Careful you two I may just take you on your offers!

Thanks Experience!! I mean it!!

Queen you never fail to leave me speechless!! Whether it's your knowledge of musicals or this masterpiece you punch far higher than any might think capable! I don't know how to follow your post. Just thank you!

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Hey, @Nathrangking, you're aboslutely amazing, okay? You're one of the kindest Sharders I have ever met and just an awesome person in general. You are not a burden to anyone, no I think the Shard and the world is genuinely a better place for you being in it. You are always very nice and fun to talk to and your poems are gems. You are very understanding and you never tell anyone "what you saying is wrong and what I am saying is right." I don't know people like you IRL and I sure hope that someday I get to meet people who are like you. I can't give you advice or understand your problems becuacse I am 15 and yet have to go through anything like that. I can't understand what you must be going through, but if you need just a shoulder to lean on, I am always here 

Things will get better. You will heal. Time heals all hurts and mends all broken things.

Quote

It's hard to turn the page when you know someone won't be in the next chapter. 

But the story must go on

- Thomas Wilder

 

Quote

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. 

-Marilyn Monroe

 

Quote

I healed. Not completely. A scar is never the same as good flesh, but it stops the bleeding 

-Robin Hobb, Assassins' Quest

 

[Robin Sedai she/her]

I was in a bad mood, but going on the Shard and interacting with the nice people has cheered me up immeasurably, so thank you!

[Nathrangking he/him]

On 1/14/2022 at 6:23 AM, Elf said:

Hey, @Nathrangking, you're aboslutely amazing, okay? You're one of the kindest Sharders I have ever met and just an awesome person in general. You are not a burden to anyone, no I think the Shard and the world is genuinely a better place for you being in it. You are always very nice and fun to talk to and your poems are gems. You are very understanding and you never tell anyone "what you saying is wrong and what I am saying is right." I don't know people like you IRL and I sure hope that someday I get to meet people who are like you. I can't give you advice or understand your problems becuacse I am 15 and yet have to go through anything like that. I can't understand what you must be going through, but if you need just a shoulder to lean on, I am always here 

Things will get better. You will heal. Time heals all hurts and mends all broken things.

 

Elf Elf Elf. I may not know you well, but I can confidently say that you are the amazing one. You sell yourself short. Don't ! I wish that at 15 I was half as eloquent or wise as you are now! Keep being awesome! 

[Robin Sedai she/her]

My mother left seven months ago, for reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about. I don't blame her; I'd have done the same in her situation. When I tried to wish her a happy new year, my father quite literally wrenched the phone out of my hands. I'm having a bad time in general, but I don't want to talk about the other reasons. Could I have hugs please?

[Szeth's Facepalm]

*gives lots of hugs and giant kitkats* @Robin Hatter, you are an awesome person. whenever i see something you've posted it always makes my day a little better. when you first joined the shard, i was in a mood where i was annoyed by nice, positive people, and it should be taken as a compliment that i immediately found you kind of annoying (don't worry, i was soon out of that mood and remembered that nice people are a good thing and realized how delightful you are). i'm so sorry that's happening to you, it sounds really hard, but remember that you always have us, and that the world is a better place because of you. you're amazing! and remember, Don't Panic.  <3 <3 <3

Edited February 1, 2022 by Szeth's Facepalm

[Guest]

On 2/1/2022 at 8:32 PM, Robin Hatter said:

My mother left seven months ago, for reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about. I don't blame her; I'd have done the same in her situation. When I tried to wish her a happy new year, my father quite literally wrenched the phone out of my hands. I'm having a bad time in general, but I don't want to talk about the other reasons. Could I have hugs please?

*HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS 

*lots of hugs. 

You are an amazing person @Robin Hatter and I'm totally not jealous of the fact that I have been here for nearly a year now, while you've been here for about 3 months but are already way more popular than me  

See, totally not jealous.  

You are such an amazing person, and it's always such a pleasure to talk to you. And you are so popular becuase you are kind of the person who everyone wants to be around. You are going to do great in life.

 There's this thing my friend likes to tell me- the amount of sadness you feel right now, you're going to get hat amount of happiness in your future. 

Stay strong ok? Fight on. For Kaladin, 

Edit:whoops, sorry for the double notifications. I quoted you and mentioned you.

Edited February 5, 2022 by Elf

[AonEne he/him]

4 hours ago, Robin Hatter said:

My mother left seven months ago, for reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about. I don't blame her; I'd have done the same in her situation. When I tried to wish her a happy new year, my father quite literally wrenched the phone out of my hands. I'm having a bad time in general, but I don't want to talk about the other reasons. Could I have hugs please?

*hugs you tight* I'm very sorry you're dealing with that, that's absolutely not fun. I hope you feel safe. Whatever's going on, I promise you life does get better, but it's completely valid if you're upset with it for now. *more hugs, cookies, and virtual hearts*  <3 

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Thanks everybody! Your words mean a lot to me, and they really help. Thank you for being such kind, supportive people.

Edited February 2, 2022 by Robin Hatter
grammar

[Nathrangking he/him]

20 hours ago, Robin Hatter said:

My mother left seven months ago, for reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about. I don't blame her; I'd have done the same in her situation. When I tried to wish her a happy new year, my father quite literally wrenched the phone out of my hands. I'm having a bad time in general, but I don't want to talk about the other reasons. Could I have hugs please?

*Hugs.* 

[Marukka]

On 1.2.2022 at 4:02 PM, Robin Hatter said:

My mother left seven months ago, for reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about. I don't blame her; I'd have done the same in her situation. When I tried to wish her a happy new year, my father quite literally wrenched the phone out of my hands. I'm having a bad time in general, but I don't want to talk about the other reasons. Could I have hugs please?

*HUG*

That sounds hard and I really don't know to what to say than that it will get better. It always does, but it also always does so in its own time. So... hugs, lots of 'em. *HUG*

Other than that... Don't know if it helps, but whan you arrived here, I'd have guessed you to be about 24 ys. You seem to have the ability to see things from very different points of view and to be very empathetic. That's a rare thing in most grown ups and I never met anyone your age with these qualities. It makes you an amazing person but it also leaves you vunerable in other ways. Don't ever forget that you are a great person and that you can always come here to vent and have someone sypathetic to listen. 

Again... *HUGHUGHUG*

Edited February 4, 2022 by Marukka
Spelling is fun!