Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

. . . What happened to this thread?

 

I killed it. I'm a thread and conversation murderer. 

 

 

Pestis, I just haven't replied because I don't know what to say beyond a shallow "I'm sorry" or "Its okay. We're always here." Even if I did truly mean it. . . .

Take a virtual hug.

Hah, thanks a lot. And seriously it's not like I actually require people to reply to me, so don't worry. I just wanted to share my bad day somewhere, people don't need to reply to that.

 

Also today I've got a really bad cold or something and highest fever I had in at least 5 or even 10 years. No it's not a high fever it's just 100 degrees F (37.8C) but I just never get fevers at all, so I feel really terrible. O.o

 

Also I seriously started to think about taking an interruption from uni right now and then just repeat the whole year. That's just an idea so far, and I really need to think about it, but I'm just struggling so much that I actually started to think that it might be a reasonable thing to do. 

Edited March 4, 2016 by Pestis the Spider

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I killed it. I'm a thread and conversation murderer. 

 

 

Hah, thanks a lot. And seriously it's not like I actually require people to reply to me, so don't worry. I just wanted to share my bad day somewhere, people don't need to reply to that.

 

Also today I've got a really bad cold or something and highest fever I had in at least 5 years. No it's not a high fever it's just 100 degrees F (37.8C) but I just never get fevers at all, so I feel really terrible. O.o

 

Also I seriously started to think about taking an interruption from uni right now and then just repeat the whole year. That's just an idea so far, and I really need to think about it, but I'm just struggling so much that I actually started to think that it might be a reasonable thing to do. 

 

If you think it'd help, do it. I think it'd be more reasonable to take some time off and then repeat when you're better able to focus. Would you be able to keep the credits you've already earned? 

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

If you think it'd help, do it. I think it'd be more reasonable to take some time off and then repeat when you're better able to focus. Would you be able to keep the credits you've already earned? 

I don't know. I'll need to ask if the whole repeat idea is even possible. But to be hinest I don't want to keep any credits I've earned this year. My marks are pathetic, I would love to improve them. 

[Mestiv he/him]

I don't know. I'll need to ask if the whole repeat idea is even possible. But to be hinest I don't want to keep any credits I've earned this year. My marks are pathetic, I would love to improve them. 

 

From what I know, there won't be any problem if you want to repeat a year, as long as you'll pay for the lectures you didn't complete and will repeat. Repeating a year is a valid way of dealing with problems.

[Quiver he/him]

I'm having one of those days where I'm worrying about whether or not people like me, and am I annoying, and should I just stop being me, followed by hyperventillation.

Yay.

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

From what I know, there won't be any problem if you want to repeat a year, as long as you'll pay for the lectures you didn't complete and will repeat. Repeating a year is a valid way of dealing with problems.

Well, I don't know how it is in Poland, or other unis in UK, but my uni specifically states that they almost never allow repeating of the year. O.o

[Mestiv he/him]

So what happens when someone fails to get enough ECTS points to finish a year?

[Seonid he/him]

I'm having one of those days where I'm worrying about whether or not people like me, and am I annoying, and should I just stop being me, followed by hyperventillation.

Yay.

Well, I like you, without qualifications or restrictions. You seem like the kind of person I'd enjoy hanging out with IRL if you lived nearby.

Also, I know how that feels. I have the same sort of anxiety - not as severe, it sounds like - bUT I feel like that often. (Especially on the Shard, for some reason)

[Delightful]

Well, I like you, without qualifications or restrictions. You seem like the kind of person I'd enjoy hanging out with IRL if you lived nearby.

Also, I know how that feels. I have the same sort of anxiety - not as severe, it sounds like - bUT I feel like that often. (Especially on the Shard, for some reason)

Ah! No! You guys are awesome! The shard is a bunch of open arms and offered hugs for all! Please don't feel insecure about posting here.

[Delightful]

I can't find work, and there's only so many times I can bake cookies and refresh Facebook and the shard.

I'm so bored.

Help.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

You could read a book! If you want to make that gray matter work, I suggest Parade's End by Ford Maddox Ford.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Read through the archives!

[The Honor Spren she/her]

I'm having one of those days where I'm worrying about whether or not people like me, and am I annoying, and should I just stop being me, followed by hyperventillation.Yay.

Yours is is probably more severe, but I often felt exactly like that.

I've been told I'm annoying by multiple people many times and so sometimes I just lay there, convinced that everyone thinks I'm annoying and I should just stop talking to them.

But it's not true. No matter who you are, there are always people who love you. And if some jerk ever tells you you're annoying, it's his loss because you are an awesome person.

[Seonid he/him]

Ah! No! You guys are awesome! The shard is a bunch of open arms and offered hugs for all! Please don't feel insecure about posting here.

Thanks! It's good to know my voice is appreciated around here.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Actual thing said to one of my coworkers:  "This is a REAL business; we don't have any fax machine or e-mail!"

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Actual thing said to one of my coworkers: "This is a REAL business; we don't have any fax machine or e-mail!"

So....real businesses don't communicate?

[Orlion Blight he/him]

So....real businesses don't communicate?

Nah, they communicate only through undocumented, untraceable ways.

[KidWayne he/him]

Oh gee, this is terrible. 

 

It seems as if your wife has several issues she needs to take care of both medical, behavioral and psychological.

(1)First of, the health issue: you say it is a non-specific one akin to hypothyroidism...

(2) She gets sick a lot, so how are her white globules count doing? Mine was horribly low after my pregnancies...

(3) ...it looks like she is coping through false compensation

(4) Does your wife has an issue on self-esteem?

(5) ...just dealing with twin babies must have been difficult. This would be a strain on anyone: carrying twins, giving birth to them then taking care of them. It can be hard, especially if her energy level are down on the floor. Could it be she needs to get out of the house more often?

(6) It can be hard with 3 years old twins: they bounce around, they cry every 5 minutes, they hit each other all day long, 5 minutes after you clean-up they scattered the little cars all across the living room: not a great incentive to venture outside, but perhaps it would help her.

(7) Has she ever thought of trying to be more physically active?

(8) Does she have time to herself, outside the house, without the kids?  

(9) As for the expenses problems, I'd say you have to cut the van before it gets worst. Get rids of those credit cards, cut them off, all of them, consolidate your debts into one place, if you have a mortgage, put it on it and stretch the payment for as long as possible in order to give you breathing room.

(10)You can't possibly keep on going on: at this rhythm you are going to burn yourself as well. You have to think of your health as well. You have needs too.

So, first, thank you for all the time and care you put into your response. Second, I wanted to respond to your suggestions, so I numbered the items in your post above and responded below.

(1) My wife also has Hashimoto disease. She was diagnosed with this before her pregnancy, and she treats this with a pill and regular blood tests.

(2) About two weeks ago she went to see an immunologist who sent her to a hospital for extensive blood testing. My understanding/assumption is that this was done to look at things like her white globule count.

(3) Yep, I agree with everything you said here. The bankruptcy prevents her from taking out more debt which is one of the reasons I went that route. The problem is that she has pressured/manipulated me into charging up my personal credit cards. The only options now are [ A ] increase income or [ B ] go bankrupt myself. [ B ] is an unattractive option since I am an accountant working in financial services; filing bankruptcy is regarded as professional suicide.

(4) My wife is depressed and has been wrestling with depression since the birth of our twins. She is not a stay-at-home mom, though. She is actually a registered nurse who works for an outpatient psychiatric clinic, so she is very up-to-date on these kinds of things. I actually (finally) convinced her to start seeing a therapist in January of this year. I believe the root cause of many of her problems is related to some hidden early childhood sexual abuse she endured from age 3 - 5 (she has told me about it, but it is still a secret she keeps from her parents and extended family since her abuser - now deceased - was her father's uncle).

(5) Exactly. The low energy levels have hobbled her ability to be the mom she wants to be and she feels both angry and ashamed for the way she wasn't able to live up to her own expectations for motherhood.

(6) You nailed the part about keeping the house clean, it's an exercise in futility and it can be overwhelming & demoralizing. As far as getting outside, I tried that for a while but I recently had some success with it; maybe I can build on that and get a positive feedback loop going.

(7) She would like to be more physically active, but the frequent illness seems to interrupt and delay her attempts to make a habit of it. Also, picking the kids up from daycare and then having to care for them just makes it hard to be consistent for either of us.

(8) Her grandmother watches the boys overnight every Thursday evening. So she has time to herself. It was supposed to be so that we could have a regular date night, but the financial problems have thrown a wet blanket on that too. Also, talking about her trauma/abuse in her therapy sessions has made her a lot less affectionate (not that she was ever touchy-feely to begin with). The point is that - now - she functionally has a whole weekday evening to herself; however, she usually uses that time to go to bed early.

(9) I've stretched this as far as I can. The big problem came when I did a consolidation loan, and she charged up the cards we paid off without my knowledge. I didn't cancel or destroy MY cards after that because I intended to use them as a contingency plan. I mistakenly thought that the bankruptcy would have humbled her inclination to spend money we don't have.

(10) I'm more than a little worried about this too. Right now, I'm pursuing the extra income angle and we will see how long I can make that work.

Thanks for your thoughts, suggestions, and kind words!

[Voidus]

Not really me this time since I'm not mid-cluster at the moment but I was just referred to a really good article on cluster headaches, if you know anyone who suffers from them I thoroughly recommend reading it because not having people understand what you're going through is often the worst part. Other than the insane, mind numbing amounts of pain of course.

link.

[Jondesu he/him]

Not really me this time since I'm not mid-cluster at the moment but I was just referred to a really good article on cluster headaches, if you know anyone who suffers from them I thoroughly recommend reading it because not having people understand what you're going through is often the worst part. Other than the insane, mind numbing amounts of pain of course.

link.

That sounds awful. My headaches are fortunately not cluster headaches; they're lower intensity but permanently ongoing. I don't know that either is better or worse, since mine have also driven me to the edge of suicide like that article speaks of, but I sure wouldn't laugh at or dismiss anyone talking about bad headaches.

jW

[Oversleep]

So, third week of the new semester, I am supposed to be finishing first task in JAVA ME. The thing is... I have no storming idea how to write in it. I've read the lectures (Storms and Rusts, I've BEEN at them!). Everyone on FB group had varying degrees of problems with configuring the whole editor, but I've already done that. I just have no idea how to use the language and everyone seem like they had been to a lecture I didn't know about which had explained everything.
Nobody had problems with the task (at least not severe enough to ask for help on the group). I didn't miss any lectures. But it seems I'm the only one who is clueless.
Am I stupid or what?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

So, third week of the new semester, I am supposed to be finishing first task in JAVA ME. The thing is... I have no storming idea how to write in it. I've read the lectures (Storms and Rusts, I've BEEN at them!). Everyone on FB group had varying degrees of problems with configuring the whole editor, but I've already done that. I just have no idea how to use the language and everyone seem like they had been to a lecture I didn't know about which had explained everything.

Nobody had problems with the task (at least not severe enough to ask for help on the group). I didn't miss any lectures. But it seems I'm the only one who is clueless.

Am I stupid or what?

Or what. You're not stupid. You just lack information.

[Oversleep]

Or what. You're not stupid. You just lack information.

Yeah, I know I'm not stupid, I've got evidence But it's always as if I miss some information or something. How does that keep happening to me? How do they know all that?

Edited March 10, 2016 by Oversleep

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Yeah, I know I'm not stupid, I've got evidence But it's always as if I miss some information or something. How does that keep happening to me? How do they know all that?

 

Like Silverblade said, you're not stupid. I'm afraid I don't know what's going on either, since basically the same thing would always happen to me; no matter which math class I took, I'd always look around at everyone else working away and wonder if they were attending some sort of secret lecture series called "How to Understand Algebra." Is there a tutor on campus you could go to? 

[Delightful]

Yeah, I know I'm not stupid, I've got evidence But it's always as if I miss some information or something. How does that keep happening to me? How do they know all that?

My guess is they're almost all pretending to know because they're too scared themselves to ask in case they're the only one who doesn't get it.

Also Twi, take an accidental upvote . No need to correct that one I believe.