Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Orlion Blight he/him]

My guess is they're almost all pretending to know because they're too scared themselves to ask in case they're the only one who doesn't get it.

Also Twi, take an accidental upvote . No need to correct that one I believe.

What's that? Correct the upvote? No problem!

Edit to add: Aww, shucks! I accidentally upvoted her instead!

Edited March 10, 2016 by Orlion Determined

[Delightful]

What's that? Correct the upvote? No problem!

Edit to add: Aww, shucks! I accidentally upvoted her instead!

All part of my master plan

[RippleGylf she/her]

The sadness has returned, and it has taken a slightly different form. My brain is intent on telling me that I am an idiot, which then leads to me responding, "Don't call yourself an idiot, you idiot!"

Can you see the downward spiral?

[ThirdGen]

The sadness has returned, and it has taken a slightly different form. My brain is intent on telling me that I am an idiot, which then leads to me responding, "Don't call yourself an idiot, you idiot!"

Can you see the downward spiral?

 

Does it defang the voice a bit to picture it skipping like a dumb Max Headroom-ish robot?

 

"Whoooa, he-he-hello there, i-i-i-idiot.  Bzzzz."

[RippleGylf she/her]

Does it defang the voice a bit to picture it skipping like a dumb Max Headroom-ish robot?

 

"Whoooa, he-he-hello there, i-i-i-idiot.  Bzzzz."

It makes it sound slightly off-putting, which funnily enough is not saddening, so thank you?

[Kaymyth she/her]

The sadness has returned, and it has taken a slightly different form. My brain is intent on telling me that I am an idiot, which then leads to me responding, "Don't call yourself an idiot, you idiot!"

Can you see the downward spiral?

 

Try this instead: "Don't call yourself an idiot, you fabulous human being!"

[Claincy he/him]

Just one of those mornings where it feels like the world is telling you to go back to bed *sigh*. Smashed my toe against a metal bucket, not yet sure if it's broken or not. Then I spilled part of my breakfast over the floor cos apparently my co-ordination hadn't woken up yet.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just one of those mornings where it feels like the world is telling you to go back to bed *sigh*. Smashed my toe against a metal bucket, not yet sure if it's broken or not. Then I spilled part of my breakfast over the floor cos apparently my co-ordination hadn't woken up yet.

Owwww. That's a sucky start. Hope the rest of your day is better.

[Guest]

So, first, thank you for all the time and care you put into your response. Second, I wanted to respond to your suggestions, so I numbered the items in your post above and responded below.

(1) My wife also has Hashimoto disease. She was diagnosed with this before her pregnancy, and she treats this with a pill and regular blood tests.

(2) About two weeks ago she went to see an immunologist who sent her to a hospital for extensive blood testing. My understanding/assumption is that this was done to look at things like her white globule count.

(3) Yep, I agree with everything you said here. The bankruptcy prevents her from taking out more debt which is one of the reasons I went that route. The problem is that she has pressured/manipulated me into charging up my personal credit cards. The only options now are [ A ] increase income or [ B ] go bankrupt myself. [ B ] is an unattractive option since I am an accountant working in financial services; filing bankruptcy is regarded as professional suicide.

(4) My wife is depressed and has been wrestling with depression since the birth of our twins. She is not a stay-at-home mom, though. She is actually a registered nurse who works for an outpatient psychiatric clinic, so she is very up-to-date on these kinds of things. I actually (finally) convinced her to start seeing a therapist in January of this year. I believe the root cause of many of her problems is related to some hidden early childhood sexual abuse she endured from age 3 - 5 (she has told me about it, but it is still a secret she keeps from her parents and extended family since her abuser - now deceased - was her father's uncle).

(5) Exactly. The low energy levels have hobbled her ability to be the mom she wants to be and she feels both angry and ashamed for the way she wasn't able to live up to her own expectations for motherhood.

(6) You nailed the part about keeping the house clean, it's an exercise in futility and it can be overwhelming & demoralizing. As far as getting outside, I tried that for a while but I recently had some success with it; maybe I can build on that and get a positive feedback loop going.

(7) She would like to be more physically active, but the frequent illness seems to interrupt and delay her attempts to make a habit of it. Also, picking the kids up from daycare and then having to care for them just makes it hard to be consistent for either of us.

(8) Her grandmother watches the boys overnight every Thursday evening. So she has time to herself. It was supposed to be so that we could have a regular date night, but the financial problems have thrown a wet blanket on that too. Also, talking about her trauma/abuse in her therapy sessions has made her a lot less affectionate (not that she was ever touchy-feely to begin with). The point is that - now - she functionally has a whole weekday evening to herself; however, she usually uses that time to go to bed early.

(9) I've stretched this as far as I can. The big problem came when I did a consolidation loan, and she charged up the cards we paid off without my knowledge. I didn't cancel or destroy MY cards after that because I intended to use them as a contingency plan. I mistakenly thought that the bankruptcy would have humbled her inclination to spend money we don't have.

(10) I'm more than a little worried about this too. Right now, I'm pursuing the extra income angle and we will see how long I can make that work.

Thanks for your thoughts, suggestions, and kind words!

 

Hey you're welcome... This thread is for everyone and I happen to have two little ones, 5 and 3, so I have an idea of what your wife may be going through 

 

1) About the Hashimoto, could it be her pill is not strong enough? I have found doctors aren't sensitive enough to the Hashimoto disease and they tend to content themselves to bring the thyroid within what medical literature considers as "normal" which is a TSH level below 4.00... Truth is most people with Hashimoto truly are happier when the TSH nears the 0... so 1.00 should be the absolute maximum. Seriously, if I miss my pill, by the time it's 10AM, I feel terrible, like utter crap. I'm cranky, I have a headache, I feel as if I am stuck into another dimension, my body is here, but my head isn't. After having my son, my TSH levels were terribly low (because I had to increase the pill during the pregnancy) and my doctor was worried, but I was thrilling   Jumping around, super active, bouncy happy... she tried to reduced the pill and bam complete opposite, depressive, no energy cranky... The doctor finally acknowledge above 1.00 is too high for me. I call it my wake-up pill 

 

2) Hashimoto is an auto-immune disease which sadly can drag other auto-immune diseases... Apparently having one of those increases your chances to have another one   Diabetes and Hashimoto are a common combination. Luckily, I seem to have nothing else. I hope they either find the right illness to treat.

 

3) Well bankruptcy hardly ever is an attractive option for anyone moreover for an accountant. As an accountant, I presume you are paid at a fixed salary and you overtime isn't paid. Bummer. Sounds like you aren't left with many options, so I truly hope you find the right one for you and your family. It's a hard one.

 

4) Oh my this is terrible... Could it be worst now because your kids have now reached the age where it started for her? It's stupid, but it seems as one of those ridiculous thresholds we women tend to obsess about... For instances, I was worried for a long time about my daughter because she was born the same day as my sister and my sister has hordes of problems so I feared my baby was jinxed to develop the same ones...........  Completely stupid... but... it's still there. I hope her therapist helps her with her depression as well, if it happens after the birth of the kids, it sounds like postpartum but I guess it could be something else as well.

 

5) Ah..... Perhaps we all go through the same phase as I tend to think myself an inadequate mother as well most of the time.  I can only sympathize.

 

6) Probably because my house is in a similar state of disarray   I can see little cars on the floor, a machine the kids built, a Paw Patrol plane, oh socks, a sponge (how did it get there?).. Good thing I brought the dollhouse upstairs so the dinosaurs could sleep with my daughter in her room with their motorcycle (yeah I know, dinosaurs on a motorcycle in a dollhouse).... And my son is sleeping with his horse which may be as big as he... Yesterday, he took his garbage truck to sleep.

 

Outside does help, spring is finally here, well it is here up North. At last.

 

7) Stuck in the same routine as you... I call it the milk run which is dramatically longer now one kid is in daycare and the other is in school. Some days , it's tiring. I tend to go exercise late in the evening, but it doesn't work for everyone.

 

8) Can't help for this one except by being boring and saying the usual, trying to find a middle ground where nobody feels like they are run over by a truck each time the alarm clock rings.

 

9) 10) Hey keep it up. Hope you find the right solution. Who knows may be a higher paid opportunity will open up for you and you won't have to do the double shift for too long.

 

And you can rant all you want. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

Just one of those mornings where it feels like the world is telling you to go back to bed *sigh*. Smashed my toe against a metal bucket, not yet sure if it's broken or not. Then I spilled part of my breakfast over the floor cos apparently my co-ordination hadn't woken up yet.

 

Has it turned purple yet?  When I broke toes, they turned the most fascinating shades of purple.

[Claincy he/him]

Owwww. That's a sucky start.   Hope the rest of your day is better.

 

Thanks, seems it didn't quite break And the rest of my day went pretty good, so it was just a poor beginning.

 

Has it turned purple yet?  When I broke toes, they turned the most fascinating shades of purple.

No fascinating purple unfortunately, but given a choice of purple or not broken I'd pick not broken

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Something is wrong with my phone. I don't know what it is. It's not the power, because it beeps whenever I plug it in. However, no matter what I do, no image will show up. Just a black screen. Even when it's on.

[Kobold King he/him]

I just spent three hours staring across the room at my Epic weakness.

 

Three solid hours.

 

You're kind people, Mr. and Mrs. Fellow Churchgoer, but make no mistake: when Calamity rises, flee.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I just spent three hours staring across the room at my Epic weakness.

Three solid hours.

You're kind people, Mr. and Mrs. Fellow Churchgoer, but make no mistake: when Calamity rises, flee.

Just think about Bruce eating ice cream.

[Glamdring804]

Hey guys, how's it going?

 

Turns out, my brother just broke up with his fiance. Rather, she dumped him. Of course, none of this ever saw this coming. (sarcasm) He lives in Rochester NY, and me and my mom are in Montana. Apparently, things have been bad for a few weeks, but the stubborn storming mule he is wouldn't tell us anything about it. We finally found out things went rust because the ex-fiance (who lives in Australia, long story, don't ask) texted us because he had threatened to commit suicide while talking to her. Now my mom is flying out to him. Everything is just storming stormed up and I need someone to talk too and I really hope you guys would be willing to listen. Thanks for reading. You have no obligation to respond to my nonsense, but it helps just to get it off my chest. Thanks. May the Investiture be with you.

 

Edit: Oh dear god, I love this website's profanity checker. :lol: :lol:

Edited March 12, 2016 by Glamdring804

[Orlion Blight he/him]

I, too, like the site's profanity checker and will test it from time to time.

Which reminds me: well, that had to be redacted. Can't catch them all, I guess

That's rough for your brother, but you know what they say: salt heals all wounds!

You should never take medical advice from "they".

Edited March 12, 2016 by Orlion Determined

[Delightful]

I'm so sorry that's awful.

Did force get caught in the filter? May the Force be with you. Force.

Edit: nope. So you typed may the investiture be with you?

Edited March 12, 2016 by Delightful

[Glamdring804]

I, too, like the site's profanity checker and will test it from time to time.

Which reminds me: well, that had to be redacted. Can't catch them all, I guess

That's rough for your brother, but you know what they say: salt heals all wounds!

You should never take medical advice from "they".

 

And who is "they" in this instance? Your cat?

 

I'm so sorry that's awful.

Did force get caught in the filter? May the Force be with you. Force.

Edit: nope. So you typed may the investiture be with you?

 

Nope, that was deliberate. Investiture = awesome.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

And who is "they" in this instance? Your cat?

 

Ya know, that would make a whole lot of sense.

*Orlion stares at his cat who stares back vacantly. Suddenly, the cat reveals his claws. "You know too much", he meows*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I haven't done this in a little while because I haven't felt a need to. I'm much less stressed with my parents out of the house; even their barbs and jibes over text are more bearable, now that I don't have to see them constantly. Yet, with my trip being tomorrow, I find myself scared out of my wits. 

 

First of all, Bruce. He's only had a week to adjust to being on his own, and while he's done well, I'm worried about leaving for three days. He seems to like his dogsitter, and she likes him, but he's a nervous little guy and I'm afraid he won't handle my trip very well. I plan to call him every day so he can hear my voice, but I'm still worried about him. 

 

Second, the trip. Great Noodly One, the trip. Up to this point, it didn't feel real. Now I'm here, on my last day at work, boarding passes in hand and bags packed, and I realize that holy crem, this is actually happening. And I'm realizing just how much could go wrong. 

• Flights. I'm not too worried about flight delays, since my inbound flight leaves at an unholy hour and arrives a day before I actually need to be there. But my outbound flight could be delayed, meaning Bruce would be alone for longer, since his dogsitter works all day the day I get back. And if I forget something, I'll have to do without or buy it there. 
• The move. I have never done this before. I mean, I've moved, but it was always my parents who organized it. All I had to do was pack what they told me, move fast enough, and wake up on time the day of the move. Now it's just me, and I'll need to organize everything.
• The apartment. What if I don't get one? What if I never get one? What if I get one and it's wrong? 
• What if my parents are right about this, and I don't really have the job at all? 
• What if my car breaks down in the middle of Texas? 
• What if my mom is right and everyone in Louisiana really is going to take advantage of me? 

[Kobold King he/him]

 

• What if my car breaks down in the middle of Texas? 

 

 

Sleepover! Yay!

 

 

More seriously, it'll all be fine. You've had all these fears drilled into your head by someone who desperately doesn't want you to go into the world unafraid. Go rewatch "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled to get the idea of what's going on here, and imagine your mom trying to convince you that the Black Death is a plausible threat in Louisiana. That's all this is.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Sleepover! Yay!

 

 

More seriously, it'll all be fine. You've had all these fears drilled into your head by someone who desperately doesn't want you to go into the world unafraid. Go rewatch "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled to get the idea of what's going on here, and imagine your mom trying to convince you that the Black Death is a plausible threat in Louisiana. That's all this is.

 

Believe me, if she thought she could convince me of that, she'd try. I'm actually kind of surprised she hasn't hammered the whole hurricane thing harder. 

[Edgedancer he/him]

I'm with Kobold on this one. What kind of pyjama should I bring?

 

Also being more serious. Bruce will do fine. Don't forget that he has the infinite mental fortitude of a bat.

You'll also manage the move. Sure, these kind of events are scary the first time around (and probably keep afterwards) but they're nothing impossible, same goes for actually finding an apartment. Put your mind to it and it'll work out.

And not giving you the job at this point still doesn't make sense.

[Kaymyth she/her]

It's Saturday and we are officially into the peak of the madness.

 

 

I haven't done this in a little while because I haven't felt a need to. I'm much less stressed with my parents out of the house; even their barbs and jibes over text are more bearable, now that I don't have to see them constantly. Yet, with my trip being tomorrow, I find myself scared out of my wits. 

 

First of all, Bruce. He's only had a week to adjust to being on his own, and while he's done well, I'm worried about leaving for three days. He seems to like his dogsitter, and she likes him, but he's a nervous little guy and I'm afraid he won't handle my trip very well. I plan to call him every day so he can hear my voice, but I'm still worried about him. 

 

Second, the trip. Great Noodly One, the trip. Up to this point, it didn't feel real. Now I'm here, on my last day at work, boarding passes in hand and bags packed, and I realize that holy crem, this is actually happening. And I'm realizing just how much could go wrong. 

• Flights. I'm not too worried about flight delays, since my inbound flight leaves at an unholy hour and arrives a day before I actually need to be there. But my outbound flight could be delayed, meaning Bruce would be alone for longer, since his dogsitter works all day the day I get back. And if I forget something, I'll have to do without or buy it there. 
• The move. I have never done this before. I mean, I've moved, but it was always my parents who organized it. All I had to do was pack what they told me, move fast enough, and wake up on time the day of the move. Now it's just me, and I'll need to organize everything.
• The apartment. What if I don't get one? What if I never get one? What if I get one and it's wrong? 
• What if my parents are right about this, and I don't really have the job at all? 
• What if my car breaks down in the middle of Texas? 
• What if my mom is right and everyone in Louisiana really is going to take advantage of me?

 

1)  Bruce will be fine.  He might be unhappy, but that'll just make him all the happier to see you when you get back.  Dogs are resilient, and he'll get over it.

2)  Make a list of things you need; this will make it less likely that you will forget something.  (I always forget something.  It's not the end of the world.)

3)  Again, lists!  And you know that you can call or text me if you need help/advice/moral support.

4)  You will get an apartment!  Even if it's a crappy apartment, you won't be signing longer than a 1-year lease.  If the apartment is crappy, you only have to put up with it for a year.  It'll be a young adult rite of passage for you.

5)  You HAVE the job.

6)  Then you get to hang with Kobold King for longer!  Seriously, we have Sharders all over the place.  No matter where you break down, we will be able to find SOMEONE to help you.  But barring that, this is what AAA is for.

7)  Your mom is a crazy person.  Louisiana will be awesome.

[Zathoth]

You see I was going to write a long story about how everything could go wrong with the entire beginning stolen from The Duel by Richard Matheson, ending with the evil Louisiana Librarians kidnapping Twimom and unleashing her true form: Twimamashalar, to rule the galaxy with her insane and contradicting rules forever, then I realized I had to fit Kobold in there somewhere and gave up.

 

... Im not actually sure how that would help you, Im no good at this...