Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Draginon he/him]

Gonna kind of ramble here because I’m not sure how to write this.

The girl I like doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. We’ve been online only for the past 5 years, emailing back and forth whenever we get an email, and she emailed this morning saying she wants to cut ties and that she doesn’t want me to mistake us as close friends. I don’t know how to feel about this since we’ve been saying stuff that’s more than friend stuff, more serious like dating, and when I saw that email my heart sunk and I’ve been swinging between feeling fine and not fine all day.
I’m not even sure how I should reply to her or if I should reply at all asking what’s changed, if something’s happened on her end or anything.

[+Slowswift]

@Draginon Man, that stinks. I'm sorry, and I hope you can at least get a little closure soon.

Edited June 9, 2020 by Slowswift

[Nathrangking he/him]

8 hours ago, Draginon said:

Gonna kind of ramble here because I’m not sure how to write this.

The girl I like doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. We’ve been online only for the past 5 years, emailing back and forth whenever we get an email, and she emailed this morning saying she wants to cut ties and that she doesn’t want me to mistake us as close friends. I don’t know how to feel about this since we’ve been saying stuff that’s more than friend stuff, more serious like dating, and when I saw that email my heart sunk and I’ve been swinging between feeling fine and not fine all day.
I’m not even sure how I should reply to her or if I should reply at all asking what’s changed, if something’s happened on her end or anything.

*Hugs.* It's not easy putting years and years into a relationship and then finding out that things are not the way that you thought. You will get through this. It won't happen overnight, but this confusion will eventually fade. 

[+Sorana she/her]

14 hours ago, Draginon said:

Gonna kind of ramble here because I’m not sure how to write this.

The girl I like doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. We’ve been online only for the past 5 years, emailing back and forth whenever we get an email, and she emailed this morning saying she wants to cut ties and that she doesn’t want me to mistake us as close friends. I don’t know how to feel about this since we’ve been saying stuff that’s more than friend stuff, more serious like dating, and when I saw that email my heart sunk and I’ve been swinging between feeling fine and not fine all day.
I’m not even sure how I should reply to her or if I should reply at all asking what’s changed, if something’s happened on her end or anything.

*hugs* that's really hard, especially if you put years into the relationship!
Don't give up, I'm sure you will meet someone who cares for you as much as you care for them.

Regarding reaching out for her: I think you should probably wait a day or two, maybe even a week until you have a tad more distance than right now. Make sure whatever you write is polite and not accusing and only ask if you are sure you can deal with an honest reply. I think I personally would reach out, if only to understand what is going on, but in the end it has to be your decision.

[Draginon he/him]

On 6/10/2020 at 2:26 AM, Sorana said:

*hugs* that's really hard, especially if you put years into the relationship!
Don't give up, I'm sure you will meet someone who cares for you as much as you care for them.

Regarding reaching out for her: I think you should probably wait a day or two, maybe even a week until you have a tad more distance than right now. Make sure whatever you write is polite and not accusing and only ask if you are sure you can deal with an honest reply. I think I personally would reach out, if only to understand what is going on, but in the end it has to be your decision.

Thanks for the advice. I waited a week before sending a reply back to her. Apparently her reason is she’s in contact with too many people and only wants contact with those she’s closest to because she can’t mentally handle a lot of people right now.

It still hurts but I guess that’s why it’s called heartbreak.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

I had my wisdom teeth in out in hospital on Wednesday. The pain is really frustrating and so is the nausea. The nausea is so bad and I've been passing out then sleeping for hours and sleepless nights. The pain relief makes me super drowsy and then its hard to focus. The pain relief helps but the pain drives me crazy. I want to eat normal foods again since I've only been able to eat soft food since the surgery. I was already super anxious about the surgery been when I arrived at the hospital and i'm still anxious about the pain. Gentle hugs please?

Edited June 21, 2020 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Mist she/her]

18 hours ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

I had my wisdom teeth in out in hospital on Wednesday. The pain is really frustrating and so is the nausea. The nausea is so bad and I've been passing out then sleeping for hours and sleepless nights. The pain relief makes me super drowsy and then its hard to focus. The pain relief helps but the pain drives me crazy. I want to eat normal foods again since I've only been able to eat soft food since the surgery. I was already super anxious about the surgery been when I arrived at the hospital and i'm still anxious about the pain. Gentle hugs please?

*hugs carefully* That sounds miserable. I'm sorry. Hope you get better soon! 

[Nathrangking he/him]

My misfortune strikes once again. H.R. quietly laid me off no warning or indication of what was coming just an email with the information of how to apply for unemployment and a message that I was being let go. I tend to take things in stride, but seriously my salary makes a difference to their poorly handled budget? It's ridiculous!! Now I have no job in an unforgiving and over-saturated work market. If I was even a little less poised and if the interest on my debts had not been paused I would be in horrific shape. When will it end. Since my college graduation it has been one thing to the next. The frustration that I usually keep a tight lid on is dangerously close to showing. It takes a great deal to get me, but this is a bit much. It just stacks and stacks. I pride myself on my control. Now that control is in danger. I rant and I rave, and yet you all listen. I am so grateful for all of you. I have few places to vent and this is by far the most effective one. Thank you all for being here and listening.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

2 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

My misfortune strikes once again. H.R. quietly laid me off no warning or indication of what was coming just an email with the information of how to apply for unemployment and a message that I was being let go. I tend to take things in stride, but seriously my salary makes a difference to their poorly handled budget? It's ridiculous!! Now I have no job in an unforgiving and over-saturated work market. If I was even a little less poised and if the interest on my debts had not been paused I would be in horrific shape. When will it end. Since my college graduation it has been one thing to the next. The frustration that I usually keep a tight lid on is dangerously close to showing. It takes a great deal to get me, but this is a bit much. It just stacks and stacks. I pride myself on my control. Now that control is in danger. I rant and I rave, and yet you all listen. I am so grateful for all of you. I have few places to vent and this is by far the most effective one. Thank you all for being here and listening.

*hugs* That’s really tough Nathran. I’m sorry to hear that, your H.R. doesn’t know what their missing out on. I really hope that you can find a job soon And if you feel like you need someone to spill out that frustration to, please don’t hesitate to PM me. I believe in you, and if our experience in TLPW has shown me anything, it’s that you are very tough and tenacious, and I know that you can overcome this challenge

[Mat he/him]

This is way late, but I just discovered this thread so I figured I'd tell my tale of woe 

I just became a high schooler, finishing 8th grade during COVID. This is significant for 2 reasons:

1. At the end of the year, the entire grade has (or is supposed to have) a huge celebration/dance thing to commemorate the moving on to high school. I was looking forward to that  
2. I paid $1,000 to my school- that I worked my butt of to get all last summer- to participate in the 8th grade San Francisco Science Tour (I live in Washington State) that promptly got cancelled. Wheeeeee.

The only consolation: I got a refund check in the mail for $660 and a plane ticket voucher, so I only lost $150 bucks in terms of literal money. all things considering, not too bad.  And I've mostly recovered now, so that's good too  

[Mist she/her]

15 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

My misfortune strikes once again. H.R. quietly laid me off no warning or indication of what was coming just an email with the information of how to apply for unemployment and a message that I was being let go. I tend to take things in stride, but seriously my salary makes a difference to their poorly handled budget? It's ridiculous!! Now I have no job in an unforgiving and over-saturated work market. If I was even a little less poised and if the interest on my debts had not been paused I would be in horrific shape. When will it end. Since my college graduation it has been one thing to the next. The frustration that I usually keep a tight lid on is dangerously close to showing. It takes a great deal to get me, but this is a bit much. It just stacks and stacks. I pride myself on my control. Now that control is in danger. I rant and I rave, and yet you all listen. I am so grateful for all of you. I have few places to vent and this is by far the most effective one. Thank you all for being here and listening.

*Hugs* I'm so sorry. We're always happy to listen and support you. It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to need to express your frustration. 

Edit: I realized this could be misconstrued. It's okay to be not perfect and complain. Being laid off is not your fault. 

Spoiler

12 hours ago, Matrim's Dice said:

This is way late, but I just discovered this thread so I figured I'd tell my tale of woe 

I just became a high schooler, finishing 8th grade during COVID. This is significant for 2 reasons:

1. At the end of the year, the entire grade has (or is supposed to have) a huge celebration/dance thing to commemorate the moving on to high school. I was looking forward to that  
2. I paid $1,000 to my school- that I worked my butt of to get all last summer- to participate in the 8th grade San Francisco Science Tour (I live in Washington State) that promptly got cancelled. Wheeeeee.

The only consolation: I got a refund check in the mail for $660 and a plane ticket voucher, so I only lost $150 bucks in terms of literal money. all things considering, not too bad.  And I've mostly recovered now, so that's good too  

 

*Retroactive hugs?* Did you have COVID? "Mostly recovered now"?

Edited July 1, 2020 by Mist

[Mat he/him]

10 hours ago, Mist said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

*Retroactive hugs?* Did you have COVID? "Mostly recovered now"?

xD no I mean mentally, like I was pretty disappointed. No COVID, thankfully...

[lilycooller]

Some bad things happened recently: oral ulcers have been around for more than a week. Unable to speak and eat normally (because it hurts). I wanna to go out shopping on the weekend wearing my newly bought glasses, but it seems to be all gone.

[Mist she/her]

12 minutes ago, lilycooller said:

Some bad things happened recently: oral ulcers have been around for more than a week. Unable to speak and eat normally (because it hurts). I wanna to go out shopping on the weekend wearing my newly bought glasses, but it seems to be all gone.

*hugs* I'm sorry. I hope you find your glasses. I hope your mouth gets better. 

Also, welcome!

Edited July 2, 2020 by Mist

[lilycooller]

23 hours ago, Mist said:

*hugs* I'm sorry. I hope you find your glasses. I hope your mouth gets better. 

Also, welcome!

Thanks! Will be okay soon.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

On 7/1/2020 at 7:59 PM, lilycooller said:

Some bad things happened recently: oral ulcers have been around for more than a week. Unable to speak and eat normally (because it hurts). I wanna to go out shopping on the weekend wearing my newly bought glasses, but it seems to be all gone.

Oh, that sucks!  I hope your feel better soon!

[lilycooller]

On 7/3/2020 at AM11点00分, Spren of Kindness said:

哦，太烂了！希望您早日康复！

Thank you! So kind of you!

[Erandeni he/him]

So, someone who I considered a friend has decided she has enough of me and has stopped talking to me the momento she has met other people to talk with, apparently I was good enough when she was alone but now that she has more options, I am just a bother to her. The sad part is that it has happened to me over and over again with mostly everyone I meet. 

Sorry to sound so whiny, but needed to vent it a little bit.

[Mist she/her]

48 minutes ago, Idealistic said:

So, someone who I considered a friend has decided she has enough of me and has stopped talking to me the momento she has met other people to talk with, apparently I was good enough when she was alone but now that she has more options, I am just a bother to her. The sad part is that it has happened to me over and over again with mostly everyone I meet. 

Sorry to sound so whiny, but needed to vent it a little bit.

*hugs* Everyone needs to vent sometimes. I'm sorry. That's tough. We're all here for you.

[Erandeni he/him]

9 minutes ago, Mist said:

*hugs* Everyone needs to vent sometimes. I'm sorry. That's tough. We're all here for you.

Thank you! I really needed it today.

[Showman he/him]

I never guessed that one of the hardest days of my move would come 9 months afterward.

I moved to Arizona at last October and that was really hard leaving all of my friends and nearby family for a new place, but I was coping pretty well for a while. Then covid hit and after just 4 months I no longer had contact with people which means my process of finding new friends was halted and I couldn't find new people to spend time with. I was really bored until these last few weeks when I've been up in Utah and Idaho visiting family and friends. It's been extremely fun but tomorrow is my last day in my old city. Along with saying goodbye to all my old friends once again, which never stops hurting, I found out that 2 of my closest friends in Arizona are moving away. That means I'll have even less to go back to than when I left (and since I left during self isolation, those were some of the few people I saw) and saying goodbye to old friends is even worse. These combined have made me feel really depressed all day.

[Nathrangking he/him]

3 hours ago, Idealistic said:

So, someone who I considered a friend has decided she has enough of me and has stopped talking to me the momento she has met other people to talk with, apparently I was good enough when she was alone but now that she has more options, I am just a bother to her. The sad part is that it has happened to me over and over again with mostly everyone I meet. 

Sorry to sound so whiny, but needed to vent it a little bit.

*Hugs.* We are here for you. Vent to your heart's content. We all need to at some point. If you need to vent more feel free to DM me.

[Mist she/her]

22 minutes ago, Showman said:

I never guessed that one of the hardest days of my move would come 9 months afterward.

I moved to Arizona at last October and that was really hard leaving all of my friends and nearby family for a new place, but I was coping pretty well for a while. Then covid hit and after just 4 months I no longer had contact with people which means my process of finding new friends was halted and I couldn't find new people to spend time with. I was really bored until these last few weeks when I've been up in Utah and Idaho visiting family and friends. It's been extremely fun but tomorrow is my last day in my old city. Along with saying goodbye to all my old friends once again, which never stops hurting, I found out that 2 of my closest friends in Arizona are moving away. That means I'll have even less to go back to than when I left (and since I left during self isolation, those were some of the few people I saw) and saying goodbye to old friends is even worse. These combined have made me feel really depressed all day.

*hugs* I'm really sorry. Leaving friends is never fun. Isolation on top of that makes it even worse, and being lonely is never fun.

[Erandeni he/him]

59 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

*Hugs.* We are here for you. Vent to your heart's content. We all need to at some point. If you need to vent more feel free to DM me.

Thanks, i am a little better now that i have blown some steam, i guess some people are just like that. But thank you for the offering it really mean everything to me right now.

 

1 hour ago, Showman said:

I never guessed that one of the hardest days of my move would come 9 months afterward.

I moved to Arizona at last October and that was really hard leaving all of my friends and nearby family for a new place, but I was coping pretty well for a while. Then covid hit and after just 4 months I no longer had contact with people which means my process of finding new friends was halted and I couldn't find new people to spend time with. I was really bored until these last few weeks when I've been up in Utah and Idaho visiting family and friends. It's been extremely fun but tomorrow is my last day in my old city. Along with saying goodbye to all my old friends once again, which never stops hurting, I found out that 2 of my closest friends in Arizona are moving away. That means I'll have even less to go back to than when I left (and since I left during self isolation, those were some of the few people I saw) and saying goodbye to old friends is even worse. These combined have made me feel really depressed all day.

*Hugs* isolation it's a horrible thing, but if you ever need to talk, we are here.

[The Forgetful Archivist he/him]

The last three months have been a whirlwind not only globally and nationally but also personally. Me and my fiance of 2 years parted ways and it really tore me up. I would be driving and have to pull over to cry because a song on the radio reminded me of her. She loved my parents and brothers as well as my aunts, uncles, and grandparents, not to mention my pets. And they all loved/love her, I remember one day I had had a bad day at work and came home to a classy trenchcoat and hampster (initially named Eshonai but renamed to Nippers) She was there when my old one-eared cat passed away in the same week as my dog, She went to the animal shelter with me and we found a one-eyed cat she named Kaz, after a favorite character from a book. Our first date was to the Skyward release party, and she waited overnight with me at Barns and Nobles to be in the front of the line to get Starsight. I could go on for pages about the experiences we shared but I don't want this post to be a memoir. I intend it to be context for what I'm about to say.

There is a line from a book titled Death comes for the Arch Bishop, it goes 'I shall not die of a cold, my son. I shall die of having lived' that line resonates with me. In the grand scheme of things I haven't been around for that long but I have faced severe anxiety, a psychiatric disorder, and now my first love riding off into the sunset with another man. But even now I think to myself I shall not die of a cold I shall die of having lived and it fills me with hope for the future. Times are tough and life beats the crap out of you but when I die it's not going to be from a cold, or break up or from anxiety or from anything of that sort. When I die I will die from having lived. When my time comes I'm going to look back on my life and be grateful for the chance to have lived and grown even though it sometimes hurts. Right now I feel happy, hopeful, and mellowed and I want to share it with everyone. 

If you need a digital hug I'm here to give you one and say it's okay, I'm here to tell you there is hope and happiness waiting. I promise that even if it feels that way it won't kill you, please don't be afraid to live.