Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Jaywalk he/him]

12 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

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So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

*hugs*

That sounds awful, Luna! I hope you’re able to get past it, and I wish I could do something to help. Just know that you’re amazing and we’re all here for you during your struggles!

[Nathrangking he/him]

7 hours ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Reveal hidden contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

Firstly *Hugs* 

As far as I know you I know you to be an incredible and strong person. I know that you will overcome this and come out on top!! We are all here for you as @Jaywalk said. Keep fighting and show this situation that you are in charge and going nowhere!!

[+Slowswift]

20 hours ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Reveal hidden contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

*piles on with the hugs* To quote the world's most memeable poster, keep calm and carry on, and know that if you need to let off some steam we're all here.  

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

On 12/31/2019 at 3:34 PM, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Hide contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

Kay, first of all *hugs*. Luna, that is seriously awful. I can't even imagine dealing with something like that. But the great thing is, you are that much more amazing for going through that and getting up in the morning every day. Whatever happens, we really love you here on the Shard.  Really, I can't say it any better than any of the people who posted before me. 

[+Sorana she/her]

On 31.12.2019 at 10:34 PM, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)  

*hugs*

Just saw this today, and I have to admit it leaves a little at a loss what to say. I have so much respect for you for going through all of it, and for getting up each morning and for going on. I hope that things will get better and you will be able to find a way to live your life in a way that satisfies you.

For now, just know that I treassure our interactions and that I always look forward to your posts. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I can only offer mine and know, that I wish you all the luck in the world to sort your things.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Sorana

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

I honestly feel kinda bad posting this after Luna because her problem is so serious and mine is just my petty self. 

So a month ago I tried out for this solo. Every year our school holds a massive Variety Show and there's only one solo in it. Our middle school is 7-9th and they always give it to a 9th grader. I'm in 9th grade this year and I really thought I would get the solo. I sang Journey To The Past and my audition went super well. There were three other ninth graders that tried out for it. Two didn't stand a chance, but the other one was really good. I still thought I'd get it though because every time I've heard her sing, she's kinda quiet and not very expressive. Well, they posted the results the day before break and guess what, I didn't get it. 

I really, really thought I was going to get it and not getting it was really quite crushing. And yet... it wasn't. I spent the latter half of that school day trembling, my stomach literally hurting because I was so nervous for those results. I expected to get it though. And then when I didn't see my name on the list, I just kinda... died a little bit. My stomach stopped hurting, I stopped trembling; I just felt dead. Part of what hurts so much is that I expected to get it. And now that I haven't got it, I feel like there's something wrong with me and I'm really paranoid about what I did wrong. Was there something I could have done in my audition that would have made me get it? What do I lack? What was it specifically that made it so that I can't sing up there this February - something I have fantasized about since 7th grade? I've spent my entire life being told that I'm a good singer, but now I'm doubting all of that. 

I'm kinda full of myself. I have a tendency to think of myself as above other people. It's kind of a problem. But the thing is, I recognize that in myself and I really, really hate it. It's such a weird problem - I hate myself for loving myself too much. And now, with this happening, it's gotten worse. I think of myself at the best. And if I'm not, then I must just be awful. Every failure stings, but this one is really big and I don't really know what to do about it. So.... I don't know. I thought I had gotten over it over break, but at school today in choir, my stomach started hurting again and I nearly started crying because I just don't want to sing anymore. Part of it is that we have a new choir teacher and he's not nearly as good as our old one. So I suppose a lot of this can be contributed to me missing her. Anyway, thanks for reading through this, it's been eating at me for weeks. 

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

New_Recording_2.mp3

Edited January 3, 2020 by Shard of Thought

[Jaywalk he/him]

1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

Ocean Eyes is a great song!

*hugs* Things will get better, Star! We all go through failure—it’s inevitable, as much as we fear it—and it helps us to grow. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you for real, and I wish I could make you feel better with words alone, but the extent of my abilities to do that is limited. All I can do is let you know that you are a gift to this world. You have so much to give, and I myself am incredibly grateful for your spirit.

Edit: I just listened to the recording. You have an incredible voice! I wish I could sing half as well as you.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Jaywalk

[Nathrangking he/him]

1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

I honestly feel kinda bad posting this after Luna because her problem is so serious and mine is just my petty self. 

So a month ago I tried out for this solo. Every year our school holds a massive Variety Show and there's only one solo in it. Our middle school is 7-9th and they always give it to a 9th grader. I'm in 9th grade this year and I really thought I would get the solo. I sang Journey To The Past and my audition went super well. There were three other ninth graders that tried out for it. Two didn't stand a chance, but the other one was really good. I still thought I'd get it though because every time I've heard her sing, she's kinda quiet and not very expressive. Well, they posted the results the day before break and guess what, I didn't get it. 

I really, really thought I was going to get it and not getting it was really quite crushing. And yet... it wasn't. I spent the latter half of that school day trembling, my stomach literally hurting because I was so nervous for those results. I expected to get it though. And then when I didn't see my name on the list, I just kinda... died a little bit. My stomach stopped hurting, I stopped trembling; I just felt dead. Part of what hurts so much is that I expected to get it. And now that I haven't got it, I feel like there's something wrong with me and I'm really paranoid about what I did wrong. Was there something I could have done in my audition that would have made me get it? What do I lack? What was it specifically that made it so that I can't sing up there this February - something I have fantasized about since 7th grade? I've spent my entire life being told that I'm a good singer, but now I'm doubting all of that. 

I'm kinda full of myself. I have a tendency to think of myself as above other people. It's kind of a problem. But the thing is, I recognize that in myself and I really, really hate it. It's such a weird problem - I hate myself for loving myself too much. And now, with this happening, it's gotten worse. I think of myself at the best. And if I'm not, then I must just be awful. Every failure stings, but this one is really big and I don't really know what to do about it. So.... I don't know. I thought I had gotten over it over break, but at school today in choir, my stomach started hurting again and I nearly started crying because I just don't want to sing anymore. Part of it is that we have a new choir teacher and he's not nearly as good as our old one. So I suppose a lot of this can be contributed to me missing her. Anyway, thanks for reading through this, it's been eating at me for weeks. 

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

New_Recording_2.mp3

*Hugs* Your problem is hardly a petty. It hurts to give of yourself, expect all the world to see in your work what you do, and then suffer rejection. I wish I could say that such things stop hurting. However, they can be used to grow as @Jaywalk said. There is nothing wrong with you! It is natural to question and doubt, but know that the fact that you were not chosen does not speak to your abilities. Be strong and remember that you are amazing and the world would be a poorer place without you!

[+Slowswift]

@Shard of Thought You have a lovely voice!

And I kinda know how you feel -- something similar happened with me when I was younger, though my experience was more borne of crippling naivete than anything else.  I also just want to echo what Jaywalk and Nathrangking said. They've put it much better than I could!

I'll just leave you (and anyone else who needs it) with an Emerson quote I love:

Quote

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

 

[Jaywalk he/him]

This is probably a stupid thing to take as hard as I am, but I lost my 4.0 GPA today. It actually physically hurts. I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I tried my best, but it seems like my best just wasn’t good enough.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry. I would probably feel exactly the same way if that happened to me, so I get it. I would just say to remember that the fact that you held the 4.0 for so long means that you are far above average. And make sure you don't let a number define your worth. You gave it your best and you know what, that hard work is what matters in the end, not the grade itself. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

59 minutes ago, Jaywalk said:

This is probably a stupid thing to take as hard as I am, but I lost my 4.0 GPA today. It actually physically hurts. I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I tried my best, but it seems like my best just wasn’t good enough.

 *Hugs* I understand well this pain. @Shard of Thought is correct that achieving a 4.0 is something that shows just how smart you are. This number though is just that a number which is a poor definition of who you are. That you reached that height is something to be proud of. The pain will pass and when it does remember that your best got you to the 4.0 anything else that happened was beyond your control and had nothing to do with your effort!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that I spent too much of last year posting on this this thread but unfortunately, things have not improved. To say that I'm enraged is an understatement.I have been told that when I'm looking for a job I should be open and honest with the organizations that I deal with. I was contacted by a recruiter about a job that I had not applied for. It seemed great I sent them a personal statement to forward to the firm in question and I set up an appointment to meet the recruiter face to face. The next day I get a call that the firm wants to interview me. I give them potential days and they send me a confirmation. I went in to talk to two different recruiters. The first wanted to walk me through the interview process and asked if I had questions. I said that I knew that one should be honest with an interviewing company and I wanted to know if she thought that I should disclose at the interview that for religious reasons I would have to leave work on friday's early. She got up as though offended by the question, said that she had to run this by the firm, and that it was a pleasure to meet me. She left and that was that. I emailed her a thank you message that same day and she responded that the firm's schedule could not allow me to leave early even for religious purposes and that my interview was cancelled. All weekend I have been seething. I don't even know how to respond to this. My honesty and religious practice got an interview pulled out from under me. I don't know if it was something that I said or the way that she relayed it to the firm or what, but this whole thing makes me sick. How do I even move on from that? The truth hurt me. My religious identity very possibly denied me an opportunity.  If it had not happened to me I might say that it is just too bizarre to comprehend, but here I am ranting once again about my life the gift that keeps on storming giving!!!!!!!

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

4 hours ago, Jaywalk said:

This is probably a stupid thing to take as hard as I am, but I lost my 4.0 GPA today. It actually physically hurts. I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I tried my best, but it seems like my best just wasn’t good enough.

So I don’t usually post on this thread because I don’t feel like I’m all that good at consoling people, but this issue is one that’s close to me. 

Jay, you are not a number. I know you probably know that, but that’s something I have to keep reminding myself all the time. I was a basically a straight A student all through school. When I got my first B+, it was actually crushing. So much so that most people would find it ridiculous how bad I felt. I actually had to hold back tears in class. And then I felt so stupid afterwards. I knew that there were so many people who would be overjoyed with my grades, which made me feel even worse about how I felt. 

But your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel bad about it, at least for a little while. When you’ve held onto a 4.0 GPA for so long, loosing it just feels... wrong. But when you’re ready to move on, when you’ve accepted it, you’ll be stronger for it. Your worth isn’t defined by a number, or a letter, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. If you’ve tried your hardest, then that is more than enough. 

[Showman he/him]

21 hours ago, Jaywalk said:

This is probably a stupid thing to take as hard as I am, but I lost my 4.0 GPA today. It actually physically hurts. I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I tried my best, but it seems like my best just wasn’t good enough.

Well, if you actually tried your best, then it's obviously not your fault. Any good teacher would give an A if a student tried their best, no matter how good that was. Not to hate on whoever that is, but it's most likely their fault, not yours. *hugs and sympathy about sucky teachers*

20 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

I know that I spent too much of last year posting on this this thread but unfortunately, things have not improved. To say that I'm enraged is an understatement.I have been told that when I'm looking for a job I should be open and honest with the organizations that I deal with. I was contacted by a recruiter about a job that I had not applied for. It seemed great I sent them a personal statement to forward to the firm in question and I set up an appointment to meet the recruiter face to face. The next day I get a call that the firm wants to interview me. I give them potential days and they send me a confirmation. I went in to talk to two different recruiters. The first wanted to walk me through the interview process and asked if I had questions. I said that I knew that one should be honest with an interviewing company and I wanted to know if she thought that I should disclose at the interview that for religious reasons I would have to leave work on friday's early. She got up as though offended by the question, said that she had to run this by the firm, and that it was a pleasure to meet me. She left and that was that. I emailed her a thank you message that same day and she responded that the firm's schedule could not allow me to leave early even for religious purposes and that my interview was cancelled. All weekend I have been seething. I don't even know how to respond to this. My honesty and religious practice got an interview pulled out from under me. I don't know if it was something that I said or the way that she relayed it to the firm or what, but this whole thing makes me sick. How do I even move on from that? The truth hurt me. My religious identity very possibly denied me an opportunity.  If it had not happened to me I might say that it is just too bizarre to comprehend, but here I am ranting once again about my life the gift that keeps on storming giving!!!!!!!

This hurts to read. That was terribly judgy and I'm so sorry that happened. If the second recruiter would have accepted you, then that's just plain stupid, but if the second one wouldn't have, then it's probably a good thing you're not working for that firm. I don't have much consolation for that, since that makes no sense at all, other than this hug. *hug!!!*

I hope your future gets better, and good job for standing up for your beliefs! You did the right thing, and I'm sure that your life will eventually give back, in a good way!

[Silva]

On 1/11/2020 at 11:46 PM, Nathrangking said:

I know that I spent too much of last year posting on this this thread but unfortunately, things have not improved. To say that I'm enraged is an understatement.I have been told that when I'm looking for a job I should be open and honest with the organizations that I deal with. I was contacted by a recruiter about a job that I had not applied for. It seemed great I sent them a personal statement to forward to the firm in question and I set up an appointment to meet the recruiter face to face. The next day I get a call that the firm wants to interview me. I give them potential days and they send me a confirmation. I went in to talk to two different recruiters. The first wanted to walk me through the interview process and asked if I had questions. I said that I knew that one should be honest with an interviewing company and I wanted to know if she thought that I should disclose at the interview that for religious reasons I would have to leave work on friday's early. She got up as though offended by the question, said that she had to run this by the firm, and that it was a pleasure to meet me. She left and that was that. I emailed her a thank you message that same day and she responded that the firm's schedule could not allow me to leave early even for religious purposes and that my interview was cancelled. All weekend I have been seething. I don't even know how to respond to this. My honesty and religious practice got an interview pulled out from under me. I don't know if it was something that I said or the way that she relayed it to the firm or what, but this whole thing makes me sick. How do I even move on from that? The truth hurt me. My religious identity very possibly denied me an opportunity.  If it had not happened to me I might say that it is just too bizarre to comprehend, but here I am ranting once again about my life the gift that keeps on storming giving!!!!!!!

I've got nothing more than גם זו לטוב to say. Life will get better. Sometimes it just takes a while.

*hugs*

On 1/11/2020 at 10:13 PM, Jaywalk said:

This is probably a stupid thing to take as hard as I am, but I lost my 4.0 GPA today. It actually physically hurts. I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I tried my best, but it seems like my best just wasn’t good enough.

Hopefully by this point you're feeling better, but if not consider this: In not that long, that number will have no value. The difference between a 3.95 and a 4.0 will mean nothing. What matters is that you know that you are capable because that is what allows you to remain capable. No number or physical validation. Just your brain. You.

 

 

[Nathrangking he/him]

I hate that I have to post here again, but I need to vent in a major way. I had/ have a friend whom I have known since we were both quite young. Our meeting was memorable one to say the least. Over the years we were not best friend close, but we went to school on the same bus we would talk quite a bit and we got along well. Things changed when we got to high school and we went our separate ways. I wondered throughout high school what she was up to and admittedly I had a crush. After high school we reconnected and I admitted that I had had a crush on her. We stayed casual friends though I always got the sense that things were awkward between us. We continued on and I became aware that perhaps I was still crushing on her despite the passage of time. I tried to talk to her about it however she became defensive and ultimately put me on the defensive for in her words "making things about me." I tried to smooth things over, but she was having none of it. Ultimately, she blocked me on social media. I tried to reach out after and things crumbled when she began to try to move things in a direction that I was not ready for. I knew then that something was off in our dynamic and for a while I kept my distance, I was uncomfortable with the way things ended so I recently reached out to her and she told me that she did not realize that I felt as I did. That should have set off warning bells. However, I still hoped to salvage things. I broke down exactly how I felt and I told her that the best thing was to just keep things casual. She became even more aggressive than before and despite my attempts to cool things down in about a day things reached a breaking point. I told her that I did not feel a romantic love for her and would start a relationship of this kind. She lost it with me and cursed at me saying that she deserved to be loved and that she would block me again. I commented that I cared for her as a friend and that was all. I also asked what was wrong with wanting to just be friends. I left it at that. She did not respond to me and I took a day to think about this situation. It became painfully clear that there was something unhealthy going on in this relationship. I put an end to things and blocked her on social media. A friendship that had been on and off for almost 20 years imploded in a devastating way. At times I feel guilty and think if only I had tried harder things might have been different. Honestly, I don't know what to think about the whole thing. It hurt to see it ho, but I don't know that I could have maintained it on my own. The weight might have crushed me. This is not something that anybody else in the world knows about. I quietly carried this around inside for a long time. I don't know if I was wrong or right, but I do know that I cannot keep this hidden anymore. (I want to thank those who take the time to listen to my self-serving ramblings. What it means to you cannot begin to imagine!)

[+Ed Venture]

45 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

I hate that I have to post here again, but I need to vent in a major way.

Nath. You always feel comfortable posting here. If you don’t want to, don’t. But don’t think that anyone here will hold anything against you. We honestly just want to help.

I sympathize Nath. Friendships falling apart. It hurts. It really does. Especially when it’s in such a violent manner. I feel bad for you, I really do. And I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. *hugs* *just keeps on hugging* You’re awesome okay? Remember that.

[Nathrangking he/him]

5 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Nath. You always feel comfortable posting here. If you don’t want to, don’t. But don’t think that anyone here will hold anything against you. We honestly just want to help.

I sympathize Nath. Friendships falling apart. It hurts. It really does. Especially when it’s in such a violent manner. I feel bad for you, I really do. And I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. *hugs* *just keeps on hugging* You’re awesome okay? Remember that.

First thank you. Second, its just that the past and a half has been so hard and unkind that for me to unburden all of that here at times felt unfair even though I know that all of you are the greatest and really do want to help.

[Draginon he/him]

About a month back a coworker sent me a text that was offensive to me and since I’ve had time to reflect on it could be interpreted as sexual harassment because of the context. I deleted the text on impulse so I’m going to have to use a data recovery program to get it back so I can have evidence to file this with a supervisor or HR.

[King Aragorn of Gondor]

Hi, thanks to a specific recent event, our choir concert that we've been working on for over 3 months has been canceled, also, the musical We've been working on for over 5 months is almost definitely been canceled too.  So, there's that.  The only two things I actually enjoy doing at school, so, yeah, things haven't been going so well.

[+Slowswift]

1 hour ago, Aragorn said:

Hi, thanks to a specific recent event, our choir concert that we've been working on for over 3 months has been canceled, also, the musical We've been working on for over 5 months is almost definitely been canceled too.  So, there's that.  The only two things I actually enjoy doing at school, so, yeah, things haven't been going so well.

Aw man, that stinks.  I was just going to attend a musical event that got cancelled, and I'm miffed. Can't imagine what being on the other side is like. Hope you can make it through. *mails hugbot to your location*

[Draginon he/him]

Not really a bad day for me but I feel bad about all the businesses being closed or affected by the coronavirus. I read some posts on Criterion Forum about how it’s affecting the entertainment industry and my mother acted like people worrying about having a job, or even a business, once the scare is over is nothing for them to worry about. She just doesn’t get that the projected closing times are estimated to be about a month and while big companies like Disney and Universal can weather a bad month a lot of these smaller businesses and festivals can’t weather a bad month. It’s like she doesn’t care if these people will be jobless or not because “the government is compensating them” is her excuse and I know exactly how she would feel if it affected her personally if our school died if the students didn’t return if we closed for a week or two.

[Zelly]

Welp.  We're diving into Coronavirus land here in Virginia, having closed all schools statewide.  My school district (I teach kindergarten) had been frantically making plans for a couple days ahead of time and I'm honestly impressed with the plan they came up with and how quickly it was rolled into action. Teachers only are rolling into tomorrow to learn more details. *crosses fingers* I worry about my students education, but.....well honestly I'm proud of my class and think they've learned a lot.  This is about the time of year that standardized tests begin for the older kids and school life in general starts to disintegrate.

But this whole thing is bizarre.  It's like summer....only not.  A vacation, but it's unpleasant.  I've got a laundry room full of canned fruits and veggies and no lesson plans to make.  

Nothing bad has happened to me or my family.  But the disruption of daily life and the removal of things that people have assumed as something constant or stable.....it's created this tension like nothing else I've seen.  People in my area tend to overstock groceries when snow is expected.  But now....people in the grocery store are tense, curt, and eyeing each other sideways.  It's quiet in an unfriendly way that I can't quite describe.   

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Governor ordered the closure of all the ski resorts state wide  

[Snakenaps she/her]

My school district just announced school closures through March 27th. Our grocery stores have empty shelves. This is so different yet so alike from the fire that raged through my community last year.

And, yet, despite it all, my DnD group - my miraculous, wonderful DnD group - is still meeting. 

I may have lost my income from subbing and tutoring, but now I suppose I have plenty of time to get caught up critiquing writing, and writing for myself. Not to mention all those books I've been wanting to read. 

Hope everyone who's being affected by COVID-19 (and who isn't at this point) is finding the bright spots of life right now.