Autism/neurodivergence club

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

18 hours ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Does anyone else have different personalities that you use with different friend groups, even sometimes with the same friend groups just irl vs online?

Yes, though it was more extreme in the past for me than nowadays (I definitely prefer acting similarly, but that's my experience). I changed a lot depending on whether the group needed someone who was actually going to get things done, or comic relief, or was generally incoherent. There's still a big gap between how I think I act and how I act (at least, when I'm paying attention)

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Hello, autistic person here! Uh I might say more later, but uh for now just wanted to vent a little.

 

Do you ever feel an intense amount of physical and mental discomfort when sitting around with nothing to do, especially when other people are around you? I often find that when I'm done eating somewhere, whether home or going out, if I'm not able to leave immediately, I absolutely despise being at the table. It feels both like a waste of time and sometimes super overstimulating.

[Aeoryi she/her]

yeah

sometimes
 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

19 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Hello, autistic person here! Uh I might say more later, but uh for now just wanted to vent a little.

 

Do you ever feel an intense amount of physical and mental discomfort when sitting around with nothing to do, especially when other people are around you? I often find that when I'm done eating somewhere, whether home or going out, if I'm not able to leave immediately, I absolutely despise being at the table. It feels both like a waste of time and sometimes super overstimulating.

Well, I often find myself fidgeting around, and while I don't know if I have autism (never gotten tested, almost definetly have adhd or smth) I will often either be eating, playing a mindless game on my phone, or reading on my phone, even when watching a TV show or movie.

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

9 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

you? I often find that when I'm done eating somewhere, whether home or going out, if I'm not able to leave immediately, I absolutely despise being at the table. It feels both like a waste of time and sometimes super overstimulating.

ABSOLUTELY. My family doesn’t get it- they say things like “Dinner is a family time, [REDACTED NAME]. Come back to the table.”

[Verdance he/him]

9 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Hello, autistic person here! Uh I might say more later, but uh for now just wanted to vent a little.

 

Do you ever feel an intense amount of physical and mental discomfort when sitting around with nothing to do, especially when other people are around you? I often find that when I'm done eating somewhere, whether home or going out, if I'm not able to leave immediately, I absolutely despise being at the table. It feels both like a waste of time and sometimes super overstimulating.

Would rather be in my room on my beanbag chair in a nest of blankets reading a sanderson book

with coffee

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Adonalsium Will Return said:

ABSOLUTELY. My family doesn’t get it- they say things like “Dinner is a family time, [REDACTED NAME]. Come back to the table.”

I typically will go to the bathroom at least once per dinner session even if I don't have to, just to get away from the overstimulation.

Edited April 20 by Hmmm lies

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

13 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Hello, autistic person here! Uh I might say more later, but uh for now just wanted to vent a little.

 

Do you ever feel an intense amount of physical and mental discomfort when sitting around with nothing to do, especially when other people are around you? I often find that when I'm done eating somewhere, whether home or going out, if I'm not able to leave immediately, I absolutely despise being at the table. It feels both like a waste of time and sometimes super overstimulating.

Yes. It sucks. Luckily I have siblings to entertain me and enough autistic/ADHD people in my family to have us leave the table quickly/be allowed to fidget or leave the table. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Not sure if this is an ND thing or anxiety or regular or if it even matters but:

Anyone else have a fear or being wrong, and a desire to know everything before speaking?

For me this manifests in a few ways. Like, when I'm texting someone or talking online and cite a fact (even something very simply) or use a word I don't oft use, or something, I always look it up first to make sure I'm correct or using it correctly.

When writing research papers, sometimes it's really hard to start cuz I feel like I gotta know everything in order to write about it, cuz what if I'm wrong or miss something etc.!

In class, sometimes I don't raise my hand cuz I feel literally awful when I give a wrong answer. Like my face gets hot and I hunch down and aggressively scribble in my notes or write a word or something over and over and berate myself and hate myself cuz "why didn't I see that" or "I knew I was wrong" or "why would I even say that, it's so stupid!" I both dread and somewhat appreciate when instructors say something like "yeah, that's part of it..." or "well, ...." or something that is basically a polite way of saying "nope." I feel a pang in things that give you instant feedback (like, say, Duolingo or whatever) when I get it wrong, and I just feel relieved when I get it right.

I hate being mocked, even when that isn't the intention and I just see it that way in my twisted mind. I hate saying something and then waiting for someone to reply, all the while I'm trying to guess their response/reaction from their face or sounds. Then what's also bad is when I say my guess too early and it's wrong or partially right or whatever. But I absolutely feel like crem when I'm mocked/ridiculed/jested at/someone laughs me off/misinterprets me due to their own human ignorance and DOESN'T EVEN LET ME TALK to explain myself better.

But anyway, all of this hinders me, I think. I don't always trust myself. Maybe that's just when I'm uncertain. But even when I'm certain, sometimes I question/doubt and recheck. Because I've had it happen where I was sure, but ended up having completely missed something and been wrong and felt like a fool.

I don't want to be seen as a fool, or be one. I vaguely remember this time a while back in school when the instructor randomly called on me when I don't think I had an answer ready, and I was stormin embarrassed and stuff.

I live in fear of saying the wrong thing. I say something, then beat myself up analyzing each word (I know that's a common experience for some, it seems). I spiral and break down worrying about how what I said will be interpreted, or if I just said the wrong thing. Was I too informal? Too stupid? Too cliche? Was that word the wrong one? Do I actually feel the way I said? Oh Veil, I forgot to say something... Storms, did I mess up? Too late to fix? Etc. etc.

It's not with every message/post/text, but it is with a good amount of them and it kinda sucks.

Sometimes I don't speak, in class or to others. I'm sure many of you know the feeling of having an answer in mind, but holding it in, then someone else says it and is correct and gets the praise. I think I live off of praise, tbh...

So, in my view it's better to say something and endure the pain of being foolish than to miss your opportunity. Or, if you don't think about it, is better or good.

Yeah...

[Verdance he/him]

49 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Not sure if this is an ND thing or anxiety or regular or if it even matters but:

Anyone else have a fear or being wrong, and a desire to know everything before speaking?

For me this manifests in a few ways. Like, when I'm texting someone or talking online and cite a fact (even something very simply) or use a word I don't oft use, or something, I always look it up first to make sure I'm correct or using it correctly.

When writing research papers, sometimes it's really hard to start cuz I feel like I gotta know everything in order to write about it, cuz what if I'm wrong or miss something etc.!

In class, sometimes I don't raise my hand cuz I feel literally awful when I give a wrong answer. Like my face gets hot and I hunch down and aggressively scribble in my notes or write a word or something over and over and berate myself and hate myself cuz "why didn't I see that" or "I knew I was wrong" or "why would I even say that, it's so stupid!" I both dread and somewhat appreciate when instructors say something like "yeah, that's part of it..." or "well, ...." or something that is basically a polite way of saying "nope." I feel a pang in things that give you instant feedback (like, say, Duolingo or whatever) when I get it wrong, and I just feel relieved when I get it right.

I hate being mocked, even when that isn't the intention and I just see it that way in my twisted mind. I hate saying something and then waiting for someone to reply, all the while I'm trying to guess their response/reaction from their face or sounds. Then what's also bad is when I say my guess too early and it's wrong or partially right or whatever. But I absolutely feel like crem when I'm mocked/ridiculed/jested at/someone laughs me off/misinterprets me due to their own human ignorance and DOESN'T EVEN LET ME TALK to explain myself better.

But anyway, all of this hinders me, I think. I don't always trust myself. Maybe that's just when I'm uncertain. But even when I'm certain, sometimes I question/doubt and recheck. Because I've had it happen where I was sure, but ended up having completely missed something and been wrong and felt like a fool.

I don't want to be seen as a fool, or be one. I vaguely remember this time a while back in school when the instructor randomly called on me when I don't think I had an answer ready, and I was stormin embarrassed and stuff.

I live in fear of saying the wrong thing. I say something, then beat myself up analyzing each word (I know that's a common experience for some, it seems). I spiral and break down worrying about how what I said will be interpreted, or if I just said the wrong thing. Was I too informal? Too stupid? Too cliche? Was that word the wrong one? Do I actually feel the way I said? Oh Veil, I forgot to say something... Storms, did I mess up? Too late to fix? Etc. etc.

It's not with every message/post/text, but it is with a good amount of them and it kinda sucks.

Sometimes I don't speak, in class or to others. I'm sure many of you know the feeling of having an answer in mind, but holding it in, then someone else says it and is correct and gets the praise. I think I live off of praise, tbh...

So, in my view it's better to say something and endure the pain of being foolish than to miss your opportunity. Or, if you don't think about it, is better or good.

Yeah...

Yes oh my ado i am an introvert who speaks like an extrovert meaning i dont like talking except when im talking at which point i never shut up

and I have to know whats going on before i enter a conversation or else i feel terrified and leave immediately 

i often run away from real people cause i dont want to talk

[Deception He/Him]

YEEEEEEES I FOUND A THREAD!!! 

I was literally about to make a neurodivergence thread myself, but I decided to check first and I found this one!

I have a very interesting situation: I am twice-exceptional, or 2e. It means that I am neurodivergent (autism in my case), and have an IQ of over 130.

Now to answer a few questions I saw to the best of my ability:

 

1) Different personalities: I think this is a normal part of masking (hiding ND traits while in public). I do it myself, and I have heard about this being a thing before.

2) Discomfort while doing nothing: YES!!!!!!! That happens to me so much!!!

3) @Usseewa very long answer to the question about fear of being wrong:

 

I have some of this fear, but I think it isn't as bad for me as it could be because of my high IQ, which compensates for a lot of my autism related problems. You can't fear being wrong if you are never wrong sort of stuff - of course, I am still wrong sometimes, but I have a massive ego and I can sort of just use it to soak up social consequences. However, that fear is still there. I know that neurotypical people also have this problem though, and I don't know if mine is worse than theirs.

You also said you hate when someone misinterprets your answers. I do think this can be very annoying. I have this one English teacher this year that just constantly misinterprets my answers, repeats some twisted version of what I said to the entire class, then explains why that twisted version is wrong. It sucks.

I think that basically, these traits are very common in neurodivergent people and having them increases the chance that you probably do have autism or another condition, but it isn't a guarantee, and you shouldn't be trusting random forum posts for stuff like this anyway, really.

 

IMPORTANT PARAGRAPH HERE IF UR SKIMMING MY YAPPY RESPONSE READ THIS

I actually had a very similar problem to what you described, but not in academic situations. In basketball. I played on a basketball team, and I totally sucked at the game. I constantly dropped the ball, panicked, and missed shots - I totally sucked. Because of that, I would just try to get rid of the ball as fast as possible once it was passed to me so I couldn't make a mistake. I invented some bogus logical explanation for this, that I wanted to get the ball more and that if I messed up I wouldn't be passed to as much... but this was clearly wrong and I knew it. If I wanted to get the ball more, why was I throwing it away? I believe this was actually just a fear of messing up in front of my peers, and my brain had invented a nonsensical explanation for me to believe.

However, I have now fully overcome the basketball situation. I will tell you how I did it, and maybe you will figure out how to transfer this to your academic situation. I started playing in slightly worse leagues against worse players to build my confidence handling the ball, because these players were even worse than I was. Then, I switched back to better leagues, and just forced myself to play normally for a couple games. After everything went well, I realized my entire fear of getting the ball was dumb and it disappeared.

 

So basically the best way to overcome this fear, at least in my experience, is to start in lower pressure situations and work your way up. Force yourself to share answers in slightly lower pressure situations, and hopefully your entire fear of being wrong will crumple after a few successful tries. It's like a rollercoaster: the first time is super scary, but the second time you do it is much better and it only gets easier from there. If everything goes well, your brain should naturally attack an irrational fear and remove it.

The only problem now arises if this fear isn't fully irrational, if there is bullying, mocking, or something else actually punishing you for being wrong. In this case, I'm just going to use scare tactics on you: If you never do something in the first place, people will see you as a whole lot dumber than if you just do it and fail sometimes. Would you rather be seen as a work avoider or as a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but usually is fine?

 

Besides, anyone who browses this forum is probably smart enough to do well in life, and anyone with the braveness to post something like that clearly has the emotional intelligence to be successful as well.

 

 

----------

 

Ok, now a (completely unrelated to that massive essay) word about autistic flow and focus. Autistic people like me can enter a deep flow state to get tons of work done very quickly and thoroughly, but cannot switch tasks as easily and cannot function as well as a neurotypical person while outside of a flow state (usually). I utilized that flow state to write my massive multi paragraph post. I would like to ask any other autistic forum users about their focus (your parents probably call it an obsession or an addiction, but it is basically just an activity that an autistic person is very good at and would do all day if they could). Below this post, you may info dump about whatever that interest is (or just casually talk about it), and I will read it and genuinely enjoy reading it as well, and probably respond, since part of my focus is learning, so reading about any facts or information is fun for me regardless of who wrote about it or what the info is about.

 

 

 

Try to bring back this thread, everyone! It's really useful.

@Verdance@KnightSkye Reforged @Hmmm lies @CoderDrag0n8 @Ink and Embers

Edited June 2 by Deception
Added somy yap at the end

[Verdance he/him]

8 hours ago, Deception said:

YEEEEEEES I FOUND A THREAD!!! 

I was literally about to make a neurodivergence thread myself, but I decided to check first and I found this one!

I have a very interesting situation: I am twice-exceptional, or 2e. It means that I am neurodivergent (autism in my case), and have an IQ of over 130.

Now to answer a few questions I saw to the best of my ability:

 

1) Different personalities: I think this is a normal part of masking (hiding ND traits while in public). I do it myself, and I have heard about this being a thing before.

2) Discomfort while doing nothing: YES!!!!!!! That happens to me so much!!!

3) @Usseewa very long answer to the question about fear of being wrong:

 

I have some of this fear, but I think it isn't as bad for me as it could be because of my high IQ, which compensates for a lot of my autism related problems. You can't fear being wrong if you are never wrong sort of stuff - of course, I am still wrong sometimes, but I have a massive ego and I can sort of just use it to soak up social consequences. However, that fear is still there. I know that neurotypical people also have this problem though, and I don't know if mine is worse than theirs.

You also said you hate when someone misinterprets your answers. I do think this can be very annoying. I have this one English teacher this year that just constantly misinterprets my answers, repeats some twisted version of what I said to the entire class, then explains why that twisted version is wrong. It sucks.

I think that basically, these traits are very common in neurodivergent people and having them increases the chance that you probably do have autism or another condition, but it isn't a guarantee, and you shouldn't be trusting random forum posts for stuff like this anyway, really.

 

IMPORTANT PARAGRAPH HERE IF UR SKIMMING MY YAPPY RESPONSE READ THIS

I actually had a very similar problem to what you described, but not in academic situations. In basketball. I played on a basketball team, and I totally sucked at the game. I constantly dropped the ball, panicked, and missed shots - I totally sucked. Because of that, I would just try to get rid of the ball as fast as possible once it was passed to me so I couldn't make a mistake. I invented some bogus logical explanation for this, that I wanted to get the ball more and that if I messed up I wouldn't be passed to as much... but this was clearly wrong and I knew it. If I wanted to get the ball more, why was I throwing it away? I believe this was actually just a fear of messing up in front of my peers, and my brain had invented a nonsensical explanation for me to believe.

However, I have now fully overcome the basketball situation. I will tell you how I did it, and maybe you will figure out how to transfer this to your academic situation. I started playing in slightly worse leagues against worse players to build my confidence handling the ball, because these players were even worse than I was. Then, I switched back to better leagues, and just forced myself to play normally for a couple games. After everything went well, I realized my entire fear of getting the ball was dumb and it disappeared.

 

So basically the best way to overcome this fear, at least in my experience, is to start in lower pressure situations and work your way up. Force yourself to share answers in slightly lower pressure situations, and hopefully your entire fear of being wrong will crumple after a few successful tries. It's like a rollercoaster: the first time is super scary, but the second time you do it is much better and it only gets easier from there. If everything goes well, your brain should naturally attack an irrational fear and remove it.

The only problem now arises if this fear isn't fully irrational, if there is bullying, mocking, or something else actually punishing you for being wrong. In this case, I'm just going to use scare tactics on you: If you never do something in the first place, people will see you as a whole lot dumber than if you just do it and fail sometimes. Would you rather be seen as a work avoider or as a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but usually is fine?

 

Besides, anyone who browses this forum is probably smart enough to do well in life, and anyone with the braveness to post something like that clearly has the emotional intelligence to be successful as well.

 

 

----------

 

Ok, now a (completely unrelated to that massive essay) word about autistic flow and focus. Autistic people like me can enter a deep flow state to get tons of work done very quickly and thoroughly, but cannot switch tasks as easily and cannot function as well as a neurotypical person while outside of a flow state (usually). I utilized that flow state to write my massive multi paragraph post. I would like to ask any other autistic forum users about their focus (your parents probably call it an obsession or an addiction, but it is basically just an activity that an autistic person is very good at and would do all day if they could). Below this post, you may info dump about whatever that interest is (or just casually talk about it), and I will read it and genuinely enjoy reading it as well, and probably respond, since part of my focus is learning, so reading about any facts or information is fun for me regardless of who wrote about it or what the info is about.

 

 

 

Try to bring back this thread, everyone! It's really useful.

@Verdance@KnightSkye Reforged @Hmmm lies @CoderDrag0n8 @Ink and Embers

No idea what my IQ is or any frame of reference but i assume 130 is good

I had a neurological analysis a while ago and they said they couldn’t accurately measure my IQ because of “the spread among his index scores” and instead used a GAI (general ability index) of 124

Oh wow i never read this before they predicted my depression 

 

anyhoe im curious if anyone else has simultaneous instances of ADHD and ASD snd how that functions

they kind of intermingle with each other and my brain more than exist as seperate status effects or smt

Edited June 2 by Verdance

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

9 hours ago, Deception said:

YEEEEEEES I FOUND A THREAD!!! 

I was literally about to make a neurodivergence thread myself, but I decided to check first and I found this one!

I have a very interesting situation: I am twice-exceptional, or 2e. It means that I am neurodivergent (autism in my case), and have an IQ of over 130.

Now to answer a few questions I saw to the best of my ability:

 

1) Different personalities: I think this is a normal part of masking (hiding ND traits while in public). I do it myself, and I have heard about this being a thing before.

2) Discomfort while doing nothing: YES!!!!!!! That happens to me so much!!!

3) @Usseewa very long answer to the question about fear of being wrong:

 

I have some of this fear, but I think it isn't as bad for me as it could be because of my high IQ, which compensates for a lot of my autism related problems. You can't fear being wrong if you are never wrong sort of stuff - of course, I am still wrong sometimes, but I have a massive ego and I can sort of just use it to soak up social consequences. However, that fear is still there. I know that neurotypical people also have this problem though, and I don't know if mine is worse than theirs.

You also said you hate when someone misinterprets your answers. I do think this can be very annoying. I have this one English teacher this year that just constantly misinterprets my answers, repeats some twisted version of what I said to the entire class, then explains why that twisted version is wrong. It sucks.

I think that basically, these traits are very common in neurodivergent people and having them increases the chance that you probably do have autism or another condition, but it isn't a guarantee, and you shouldn't be trusting random forum posts for stuff like this anyway, really.

 

IMPORTANT PARAGRAPH HERE IF UR SKIMMING MY YAPPY RESPONSE READ THIS

I actually had a very similar problem to what you described, but not in academic situations. In basketball. I played on a basketball team, and I totally sucked at the game. I constantly dropped the ball, panicked, and missed shots - I totally sucked. Because of that, I would just try to get rid of the ball as fast as possible once it was passed to me so I couldn't make a mistake. I invented some bogus logical explanation for this, that I wanted to get the ball more and that if I messed up I wouldn't be passed to as much... but this was clearly wrong and I knew it. If I wanted to get the ball more, why was I throwing it away? I believe this was actually just a fear of messing up in front of my peers, and my brain had invented a nonsensical explanation for me to believe.

However, I have now fully overcome the basketball situation. I will tell you how I did it, and maybe you will figure out how to transfer this to your academic situation. I started playing in slightly worse leagues against worse players to build my confidence handling the ball, because these players were even worse than I was. Then, I switched back to better leagues, and just forced myself to play normally for a couple games. After everything went well, I realized my entire fear of getting the ball was dumb and it disappeared.

 

So basically the best way to overcome this fear, at least in my experience, is to start in lower pressure situations and work your way up. Force yourself to share answers in slightly lower pressure situations, and hopefully your entire fear of being wrong will crumple after a few successful tries. It's like a rollercoaster: the first time is super scary, but the second time you do it is much better and it only gets easier from there. If everything goes well, your brain should naturally attack an irrational fear and remove it.

The only problem now arises if this fear isn't fully irrational, if there is bullying, mocking, or something else actually punishing you for being wrong. In this case, I'm just going to use scare tactics on you: If you never do something in the first place, people will see you as a whole lot dumber than if you just do it and fail sometimes. Would you rather be seen as a work avoider or as a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but usually is fine?

 

Besides, anyone who browses this forum is probably smart enough to do well in life, and anyone with the braveness to post something like that clearly has the emotional intelligence to be successful as well.

 

 

----------

 

Ok, now a (completely unrelated to that massive essay) word about autistic flow and focus. Autistic people like me can enter a deep flow state to get tons of work done very quickly and thoroughly, but cannot switch tasks as easily and cannot function as well as a neurotypical person while outside of a flow state (usually). I utilized that flow state to write my massive multi paragraph post. I would like to ask any other autistic forum users about their focus (your parents probably call it an obsession or an addiction, but it is basically just an activity that an autistic person is very good at and would do all day if they could). Below this post, you may info dump about whatever that interest is (or just casually talk about it), and I will read it and genuinely enjoy reading it as well, and probably respond, since part of my focus is learning, so reading about any facts or information is fun for me regardless of who wrote about it or what the info is about.

 

 

 

Try to bring back this thread, everyone! It's really useful.

@Verdance@KnightSkye Reforged @Hmmm lies @CoderDrag0n8 @Ink and Embers

This is a very awesome very long post!

When I start explaining my interests to someone, I tend to get incredibly focused on them and jump between different areas of the topic (which can be hard to follow) but it also means my family has to live with the fact that if I start talking about something in detail, they're going to be there for a while. (That may just be regular old infodumping though.)I also end up in a flow state when doing maths a lot of the time! (I'm fairly good at it)

I have no clue what my IQ is. I'm not great at pattern recognition in images though (I can do numbers)

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

14 hours ago, Deception said:

YEEEEEEES I FOUND A THREAD!!! 

I was literally about to make a neurodivergence thread myself, but I decided to check first and I found this one!

I have a very interesting situation: I am twice-exceptional, or 2e. It means that I am neurodivergent (autism in my case), and have an IQ of over 130.

Now to answer a few questions I saw to the best of my ability:

 

1) Different personalities: I think this is a normal part of masking (hiding ND traits while in public). I do it myself, and I have heard about this being a thing before.

2) Discomfort while doing nothing: YES!!!!!!! That happens to me so much!!!

3) @Usseewa very long answer to the question about fear of being wrong:

 

I have some of this fear, but I think it isn't as bad for me as it could be because of my high IQ, which compensates for a lot of my autism related problems. You can't fear being wrong if you are never wrong sort of stuff - of course, I am still wrong sometimes, but I have a massive ego and I can sort of just use it to soak up social consequences. However, that fear is still there. I know that neurotypical people also have this problem though, and I don't know if mine is worse than theirs.

You also said you hate when someone misinterprets your answers. I do think this can be very annoying. I have this one English teacher this year that just constantly misinterprets my answers, repeats some twisted version of what I said to the entire class, then explains why that twisted version is wrong. It sucks.

I think that basically, these traits are very common in neurodivergent people and having them increases the chance that you probably do have autism or another condition, but it isn't a guarantee, and you shouldn't be trusting random forum posts for stuff like this anyway, really.

 

IMPORTANT PARAGRAPH HERE IF UR SKIMMING MY YAPPY RESPONSE READ THIS

I actually had a very similar problem to what you described, but not in academic situations. In basketball. I played on a basketball team, and I totally sucked at the game. I constantly dropped the ball, panicked, and missed shots - I totally sucked. Because of that, I would just try to get rid of the ball as fast as possible once it was passed to me so I couldn't make a mistake. I invented some bogus logical explanation for this, that I wanted to get the ball more and that if I messed up I wouldn't be passed to as much... but this was clearly wrong and I knew it. If I wanted to get the ball more, why was I throwing it away? I believe this was actually just a fear of messing up in front of my peers, and my brain had invented a nonsensical explanation for me to believe.

However, I have now fully overcome the basketball situation. I will tell you how I did it, and maybe you will figure out how to transfer this to your academic situation. I started playing in slightly worse leagues against worse players to build my confidence handling the ball, because these players were even worse than I was. Then, I switched back to better leagues, and just forced myself to play normally for a couple games. After everything went well, I realized my entire fear of getting the ball was dumb and it disappeared.

 

So basically the best way to overcome this fear, at least in my experience, is to start in lower pressure situations and work your way up. Force yourself to share answers in slightly lower pressure situations, and hopefully your entire fear of being wrong will crumple after a few successful tries. It's like a rollercoaster: the first time is super scary, but the second time you do it is much better and it only gets easier from there. If everything goes well, your brain should naturally attack an irrational fear and remove it.

The only problem now arises if this fear isn't fully irrational, if there is bullying, mocking, or something else actually punishing you for being wrong. In this case, I'm just going to use scare tactics on you: If you never do something in the first place, people will see you as a whole lot dumber than if you just do it and fail sometimes. Would you rather be seen as a work avoider or as a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but usually is fine?

 

Besides, anyone who browses this forum is probably smart enough to do well in life, and anyone with the braveness to post something like that clearly has the emotional intelligence to be successful as well.

 

 

----------

 

Ok, now a (completely unrelated to that massive essay) word about autistic flow and focus. Autistic people like me can enter a deep flow state to get tons of work done very quickly and thoroughly, but cannot switch tasks as easily and cannot function as well as a neurotypical person while outside of a flow state (usually). I utilized that flow state to write my massive multi paragraph post. I would like to ask any other autistic forum users about their focus (your parents probably call it an obsession or an addiction, but it is basically just an activity that an autistic person is very good at and would do all day if they could). Below this post, you may info dump about whatever that interest is (or just casually talk about it), and I will read it and genuinely enjoy reading it as well, and probably respond, since part of my focus is learning, so reading about any facts or information is fun for me regardless of who wrote about it or what the info is about.

 

 

 

Try to bring back this thread, everyone! It's really useful.

@Verdance@KnightSkye Reforged @Hmmm lies @CoderDrag0n8 @Ink and Embers

So... I read this post like 11 hours ago so I forget what I'm supposed to respond to but I'll do the part about the interests.

Also I'm only diagnosed with ADHD, not autism, though I *may* have autism. Haven't looked into it much, though. Beyond a mental breakdown over realizing I might have it, a few months ago. Yeah.

So.. my interest probably used to be reading, but I guess I'd say it's writing? Though honestly I'm not sure. It could simply be watching TV/anime, lol? Well, maybe still is reading, if you count Internet rabbit holes (cough wikipedia cough). Idk, maybe I don't have one.

The trouble is when I don't do much of my interests cuz too busy or exhausted. And hungry. When I'm hungry, I simply can't concentrate on things. Though even that varies. If I'm trying to write/read a research paper/article while hungry, thirsty, and with a headache, I will NOT want/be able to do it. But sometimes if I've already been doing something for hours, I don't want to stop just cuz I get hungry. But starting is kinda impossible. I'm hungry (and kinda mentally exhausted) right now, and just thinking about writing (creatively, not as much like this) or reading a book doesn't sound good. Even watching anime wouldn't be as enjoyable. Idk. Is that off-topic?

Technically I listen to music for hours. Like, all day sometimes. At least I used to before some disruptions, but I'm getting back to it. Listening rn.

My interest probably used to be coding/programming... but I haven't done it in a bit and I don't think I'm as interested in it anymore. But that's sort of another topic. I could spend all day at the bookstore/library, though. I got a lot of books recently lol. I love it.

I love choosing and wearing clothing/outfits/styles. I could spend hours making dozens or just a dozen outfits lol.

[Deception He/Him]

3 hours ago, Usseewa said:

So... I read this post like 11 hours ago so I forget what I'm supposed to respond to but I'll do the part about the interests.

Also I'm only diagnosed with ADHD, not autism, though I *may* have autism. Haven't looked into it much, though. Beyond a mental breakdown over realizing I might have it, a few months ago. Yeah.

So.. my interest probably used to be reading, but I guess I'd say it's writing? Though honestly I'm not sure. It could simply be watching TV/anime, lol? Well, maybe still is reading, if you count Internet rabbit holes (cough wikipedia cough). Idk, maybe I don't have one.

The trouble is when I don't do much of my interests cuz too busy or exhausted. And hungry. When I'm hungry, I simply can't concentrate on things. Though even that varies. If I'm trying to write/read a research paper/article while hungry, thirsty, and with a headache, I will NOT want/be able to do it. But sometimes if I've already been doing something for hours, I don't want to stop just cuz I get hungry. But starting is kinda impossible. I'm hungry (and kinda mentally exhausted) right now, and just thinking about writing (creatively, not as much like this) or reading a book doesn't sound good. Even watching anime wouldn't be as enjoyable. Idk. Is that off-topic?

Technically I listen to music for hours. Like, all day sometimes. At least I used to before some disruptions, but I'm getting back to it. Listening rn.

My interest probably used to be coding/programming... but I haven't done it in a bit and I don't think I'm as interested in it anymore. But that's sort of another topic. I could spend all day at the bookstore/library, though. I got a lot of books recently lol. I love it.

I love choosing and wearing clothing/outfits/styles. I could spend hours making dozens or just a dozen outfits lol.

*reads post*

*sees word "programming"*

"AAAEEEAAAEEEEEE"

You said your interest used to be programming? My interest is... usually programming... *video games sometimes* right now and has been for years, on top of just enjoying learning stuff. Apparently up to 50% of high functioning autistic people become programmers, which I think is kinda insane. I don't know what the percentage is for ADHD but it could be high too.

I can also totally relate to starting being impossible. That is a trait of basically every neurodivergent condition you can name, just wanting to do something but never actually starting it. I don't have ADHD, fortunately for me. I don't know if I could handle that on top of my autism, especially since ADHD makes it hard to focus ... but autistic people rely on focusing on one thing for hours to recharge ... that would stink.

Could you tell me more about what kind of programming you did?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

5 minutes ago, Deception said:

*reads post*

*sees word "programming"*

"AAAEEEAAAEEEEEE"

You said your interest used to be programming? My interest is... usually programming... *video games sometimes* right now and has been for years, on top of just enjoying learning stuff. Apparently up to 50% of high functioning autistic people become programmers, which I think is kinda insane. I don't know what the percentage is for ADHD but it could be high too.

I can also totally relate to starting being impossible. That is a trait of basically every neurodivergent condition you can name, just wanting to do something but never actually starting it. I don't have ADHD, fortunately for me. I don't know if I could handle that on top of my autism, especially since ADHD makes it hard to focus ... but autistic people rely on focusing on one thing for hours to recharge ... that would stink.

Could you tell me more about what kind of programming you did?

uhhhh

i did weird stuff like computer architecture stuff kinda but probably not as cool as u might imagine, i made/tried to make programming languages/parsers/compilers/interpreters, trying to using python to make calculator programs (i got a start on this project and could do some basic stuff but never expanded it. plus there's already one, i think).

in terms of programming langauges i

did python, js (and the other web stuff like html), php, some c++ and a dash of java, and i KnOw ThE jSoN pRoGrAmMiNg LaNgUaGe and i did Scratch and made some cool stuff or started.

i mainly had/have unfinished projects and grand ideas. i did make this cool thing for website creation with php... and some python too.

probably my main interest was making the programming languages/parsers and such.

[Aeoryi she/her]

I find my interests change fairly often. 

[Deception He/Him]

3 hours ago, Usseewa said:

uhhhh

i did weird stuff like computer architecture stuff kinda but probably not as cool as u might imagine, i made/tried to make programming languages/parsers/compilers/interpreters, trying to using python to make calculator programs (i got a start on this project and could do some basic stuff but never expanded it. plus there's already one, i think).

in terms of programming langauges i

did python, js (and the other web stuff like html), php, some c++ and a dash of java, and i KnOw ThE jSoN pRoGrAmMiNg LaNgUaGe and i did Scratch and made some cool stuff or started.

i mainly had/have unfinished projects and grand ideas. i did make this cool thing for website creation with php... and some python too.

probably my main interest was making the programming languages/parsers and such.

... "probably not as cool as you imagine" *goes on to talk about making literal parsers*

I just make video games. And sometimes I make AI and train it... to play video games.

[Aeoryi she/her]

10 minutes ago, Deception said:

... "probably not as cool as you imagine" *goes on to talk about making literal parsers*

I just make video games. And sometimes I make AI and train it... to play video games.

ai eck ew bleh

sorry

How'do all y'all cope with anxiety of the insane kind

[Deception He/Him]

For social anxiety, I just try to push through while at school and recover at home. It usually goes fine. I don't have specific anxiety causing condition, though - just autism, which creates anxiety because of sensory overload and social problems, but doesn't directly cause it if that makes sense.

Here lemmie tag some people who can help u better (maybe):

@Usseewa @Verdance @Ink and Embers @CoderDrag0n8 

[Aeoryi she/her]

18 minutes ago, Deception said:

For social anxiety, I just try to push through while at school and recover at home. It usually goes fine. I don't have specific anxiety causing condition, though - just autism, which creates anxiety because of sensory overload and social problems, but doesn't directly cause it if that makes sense.

Here lemmie tag some people who can help u better (maybe):

@Usseewa @Verdance @Ink and Embers @CoderDrag0n8 

I mean to be fair I don't necessarily know what it's like to have autism. (My parents had me autism tested twice though at a young age lol)

I have grown up with a diagnosis for ADHD since I was like, 7 or 8 years of age. But idk if that constitutes neurodivergence... autism tends to be a completely different set of characteristics than ADHD so I'm hesitant to say I resonate with you or whatever

thank you for your reply though

[Deception He/Him]

You could say we are similar in the sense that we are both different, which counts for more than you think. But yeah, it is true that ADHD and autism do have a lot of totally different advantages and problems compared to each other.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Deception said:

You could say we are similar in the sense that we are both different, which counts for more than you think. But yeah, it is true that ADHD and autism do have a lot of totally different advantages and problems compared to each other.

... advantages?

[Deception He/Him]

Yea.

People with ADHD can hyper focus if whatever they are doing is intense, high stakes, highly stimulating, or if they just get lucky (according to the internet - idk if this is true about you).

From my personal experience and from my research I know that autism makes you lock on to one single interest and practice it way too much, which is bad in the short term and socially but long term / career wise there are advantages. It also allows me to enter a flow state while doing something that I really enjoy, leading to me getting work done extremely fast (up to 3x faster than neurotypical people).

Neurodivergence is a tradeoff*, not a disability. Always.

 

*not saying it can't be an unfavorable tradeoff, but there are advantages.

 

It's like, have you ever found some new shiny thing you want to learn and then just figured out so much about it so fast because it was just so interesting? Well, neurotypical people can't really do that.

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Deception said:

It's like, have you ever found some new shiny thing you want to learn and then just figured out so much about it so fast because it was just so interesting? Well, neurotypical people can't really do that.

Interesting I've always assumed they could