Sanderson Insults

[Aeoryi she/her]

You're so disrespectful that you're oathstone is a pebble

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

You're so boring, you even make Stick look fire!

[Aeoryi she/her]

No one likes you not even an honorblade would bond with you

Your reasoning makes Kelsier seem sane

Alternatively:

Your reasoning caused Allomancy to create another metal just to deafen you. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

Your reasoning makes Kelsier seem sane

 

You make Ati look like a nice guy.

[The Sibling she/her]

3 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

You make Ati look like a nice guy.

You make Rayse look chill

[Aeoryi she/her]

4 minutes ago, The Sibling said:

You make Rayse look chill

The midnight aether is afraid to mimick you because you too ugly

[Authorspren]

3 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Well actually *puts on explanation voice* a Lashing changes the direction of gravity, and since gravity works on the whole amount of weight, it doesn't matter how heavy the object is.

Well actually *puts on roasting voice* yo momma so fat she is the Surge of Gravitation, so she pulls the planet toward her.

In all seriousness, fair point.

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

50 minutes ago, Authorspren said:

Well actually *puts on roasting voice* yo momma so fat she is the Surge of Gravitation, so she pulls the planet toward her.

In all seriousness, fair point.

Well…*maintains voice * …your mama so ugly, it would be impossible for her to pull anything.

[The Sibling she/her]

1 hour ago, ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ said:

Well…*maintains voice * …your mama so ugly, it would be impossible for her to pull anything.

okay, this one actually made me laugh out loud. Well played. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

You're so ugly, you make nightmares run in fear!

Wait, are you saying I'm one of the most powerful characters in the Cosmere?

...Never mind.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

You're so much of a drab that you would be considered pitiful in Idris

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

You were so ugly you were born with negative breath

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

Your so ignorant you could see a high storm coming.

[The Sibling she/her]

You're so weird I thought you were Hoid (this is actually a compliment in disguise heheheheh you've been complimented losers!)

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

Yo mama so fat she outlasted the lord ruler without eating.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

You drive slower than an actively storing Steelrunner in a cadmium bubble.

[Lunamor she/her]

Yo mamma’s so fat that shardblades aren’t long enough to reach her spine.

[Brik_head]

You mama so fat that she can out live a bendalloy compounder.

You mama so fat that the Reshi built a village on her back.

[Lunamor she/her]

You mama so fat that she ate so much food that Lift was no longer awesome.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Yo mama's so fat not even iron can reduce her weight

You're so ugly you can wither a shade without touching it

Yo mama's so fat not even Yelig-nar can consume her soul

[Lord Spirit he/him]

[insert every Kaladin-Shallan interaction in WoR here]
 

 parshmen are smarter than you

Your momma’s so fat delvers can’t ignore her

 Megan couldn’t find a reality where you look good

 you’re worse than David’s metaphors

Sarene’s art is better then you. 

[Lunamor she/her]

You have a butt suspiciously tighter than even Dalinar.

[hoid without wit he/him]

this food is so bad LIFT wouldn't eat it

[Lunamor she/her]

You’re so ugly that Steris uses a picture of you to vomit on command.

[Soulbinder she/her]

You're so unlikeable not even the Curators of Alexandria would want your soul.